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Salty Droid

Sheeple Part 3 :: Roles and Institutions

Philip Zimbardo :: Stanford Psychology Professor :: and totally KickAss guy:

Most of the evil in the world comes about, not out of evil motives, but from somebody saying, “Get with program. Be a team player.”

Professor Zimbardo’s famous Stanford Prison Experiment is the last science nugget in this multi-award winning Sheeple series.

The Sheeple in this experiment were all students at Stanford. Idiots :: Fools :: ChuckleHeads :: Brainless Rainbow Chasers? Nope! Smart as fuck :: over-achieving :: naive optimists. The editor of this blog {also rumored to be “smart as fuck”} applied to Stanford {Law} and received this letter in return …

Dear Mr. ——,


seriously … lol.


The Stanford Admissions Committee

P.S. Thanks for paying the fee sucker.

… rude!

AnyTime SunGlasses

Zimbardo and the students recreated a prison in the basement of the University. A coin flip determined which students would be the guards {which included some KickAss CHiPs costumes} :: and which would be the prisoners {which included mostly nakedness and suffering}.

The guards quickly internalized their roles. Sunglasses at Night proved too powerful an intoxicant :: they quickly forgot that they were a bunch of spoiled Stanford pussies :: and started behaving like sadistic hard asses who’d had one too many pee-n-poop balloon splattered in their face.

Depressingly :: the prisoners also internalized their roles. They subjugated their individuality and identities and BECAME numbered prisoners. After just 36 hours one of the prisoner participants had a full fledged emotional breakdown.

The guards who weren’t sadistic :: said nothing to stop the guards who were. When a new prisoner was introduced to the experiment and objected to the BullShit treatment :: he was made the enemy by the other prisoners. How dare he rock the fake boat!

The experiment ended after just six of the scheduled fourteen days when a grad student {and Zimbardo’s future wife} pointed out that this BullShit was totally out of control and unethical. But to America’s eternal fucking shame :: the same experiment was run in 2004 {but this time with dogs :: blood :: and death} on the 372nd Military Police Company assigned to guard {… and torture} the prisoners at Abu Ghraib.

Normal people :: scary setting :: clearly defined social roles :: ambiguously dark task assigned by an unthinking institution :: obedience :: conformity :: suppression of dissent. People’s behaviors conform to the situation. Put them in a bad situation … predictably bad shit will result. {check out Standard Operating Procedure :: a great Errol Morris documentary about Abu Ghraib. Get a free taste on This American Life}.


The Modern ConMan understands the truth behind these three experiments much more than The Modern Man does. The Con’s tactics revolve around the exploitation of these basic human tendencies.

AssHole Business Plan

  1. Set up a group based around some squishy ideology or principle that doesn’t lend itself to math.

  2. Program the members of your new herd to see conformity to group norms as the ultimate expression of individualism {because everyone wants to see themselves as the lone wolf … without suffering the fires of actually being the lone wolf}.

  3. Put the Con at the head of the group as some kind of “Guru” who has the secret unicorn knowledge necessary for progress along the path of the aforementioned squishy ideology. Classify the marks in a subservient position to the Great Leader :: But on path toward more bling-n-glory just like he is said to have attained.

  4. Use the powerful social dynamics of the group to crush the will and individuality of EVERY member of the group.

  5. Profit!

Who were these idiots in the sweat lodge? Who is falling for these ridiculous Internet Marketing scams? Who gave billions of dollars to Bernie Madoff without asking a single question?

It was you :: it was me :: it was all of us. That’s just the kind of stupid shit we do.

Pointing angry/judgemental fingers at the victims of these crimes {and cults} is the worst kind of mistake. As one Droid commenter {whose name is not important} put it:

“Social conformity and the blind obedience of “authority figures” is built into our genetics, and the more we try and pretend that “it couldn’t happen to me, because I’m smarter”, the less likely we are to spot the evil leader when he or she appears.”

Exactly! I can think of a certain “know-it-all” someone who needs to practice that right now.

EDITORS NOTE: Hi. My name is Jason, and I am susceptible to the sublimation of my individuality to social pressures that occur below my level of awareness.

Gr8 Job! The phraseology is arrogant {and prickish} :: but the message is humble and true. MeatBags are fucking weak in a group. Admitting you have a problem is the first step in blah blah blah.

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