Home » bleep bloop, Internet Marketing, Scams

… you can’t make money online.

Author == 19 March 2013 634 Comments

Can YOU make career replacing money online?

If you’re asking yourself that question :: then the answer is most definitely … NO!

Fuck no!

Not even close.

Forget about it.

But can you make enough money online to help out with your bills … maybe take some of the pressure off your life?

Almost definitely not.

You can use the Internet to help you sell goods or services :: but as it was before the Internet … your success or failure will depend mostly on the quality/cost of your stuffs :: on your ability the attract the attention of the marketplace … and on plain dumb luck.

The Internet as an automated success machine :: is just a mean lie … it never existed.

The Internet has made starting a new business cheaper and easier than ever :: but also harder than ever … because so many other people can now start a new business cheaper and easier than ever.

The web can help you get your ideas out there :: where they can be seen with just a single click … but then they’ll have to compete with billions of other ideas for those same clicks.

The Internet has changed almost everything … but almost nothing has changed.

Within this new world of paradox :: liars thrive … confusing an already confusing situation with manipulative propaganda about unicorns and golden eggs.

Liars can make money online {no doubt} :: but you … not so much.

… you can’t make money online.

It’s the {much hated by everyone in Internet Marketing} totally perfect counter-propaganda tagline of this site :: and it will be the tagline of this site forevermore.

Forevermore!!!

Or at least until right now :: when I get bored of it … and shitcan it on a whim.

Forevermore.

You know what I think makes more poetic sense as a tagline?

>> bleep bloop

634 Comments »

  • Wyrd said:

    Farewell, YCMMO tagline. Farewell.

    I’m still keeping mine for all the 10E6 * $0.02 * 0 that it’s worth.


    Furry cows moo and decompress.

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  • Affiliate Maketing, Online Make Money said:

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    Omri Shabat Reply:

    @Affiliate Maketing, Online Make Money,

    Wow… that’s brave… or really really (really) stupid… commenting on an anti-fraud site while you promote frauds… Internet Marketing at its best!

    BTW Salty, I left you a little email before that coincidentally resembles this case of idiocy.

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @Affiliate Maketing, Online Make Money,

    Please go away. You and your site are pathetic. Dare I say it? I dare. Your site is hella pathetic.

    Also, next time, if there ever is a next time–try RTFM FTW so you can avoid Epic Fail.

    If you’re not careful, you might wind up “converting” into a Saltydroid article.

    YOU can’t make money online, buddy. If you could, then you wouldn’t have tried to link from here to your site.

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  • Andrew said:

    I have just got back to finishing my studies and work after suffering a serious illness, during which time I took the “good advice” of somebody I knew who told me about USANA, affiliate marketing and so forth, with which I could earn enough to pay the bills I couldn’t whilst not being able to work.

    Thanks to those despicable, parasitic and conscience-less little fucks, I found myself over £3000 worse-off in a matter of months.

    Keep up the work, Salty. You’re fighting a cause more important than most people will probably even get close to realising.

    Best wishes and untold respect from London,

    Andrew

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  • Mike said:

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @Mike,

    My tagline would have to be “Don’t be stupid or lazy! Apply yourself to what works online, do the work, and you can make some money!”

    My tagline is the furry cows one for reasons I don’t feel like reciting here.

    But my words to you are: Don’t be lazy in your thinking. You say “ANYone can do it, if they really do the research, work, studying, and apply themselves.”? I call bullshit. Maybe anyone can try but most simply aren’t going to succeed. Because that’s how business really works. Sometimes even a very industrious, hard working individual tries to have a business, does everything right, and it still crashes and burns. That’s because we live in a Universe chalked full of capricious random chance and freakish randomness.

    I get more words-to-live-by life and business wisdom from Kenny Rogers’s song The Gambler than from a whole 2000 lbs. of self-help DVDs. … And I don’t even like country music!

    You got to know when to fold, dude. IM-MMO has already lost its flashy, newness a couple or three years ago. Move on. Stay shiny.


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    SD Reply:

    @Mike ::

    Good luck with your site that hates its readers :: sounds like a super good plan … maybe Carl Icahn will invest in it.

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    SD Reply:

    @Mike ::

    So you thought this comment was such a gem :: that it needed to be pasted up around the webs?

    http://www.onlinerule.com/the-salty-droid/#comment-606

    Some of your best work maybe.

    So tell me “Mike” :: what is the best water filter?

    http://whatsthebestwaterfilter.com/

    Please tell me it’s Kangen …

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    Christoph Dollis Reply:

    @SD,

    Hm.

    They look like pretty good water filters.

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    Christoph Dollis Reply:

    @Christoph Dollis,

    I do remember signing up for a MLM water filter company over a couple decades back: National Safety Associates.

    I didn’t make a go of it (at least in part due to a lack of follow-through on my part), but I remember the company at that time placed a huge, huge emphasis on making direct retail sales to customers. In fact, my recollection is that was the recruitment strategy: get them using the product, then introduce the business opportunity, and either you have a customer or a new distributor, win/win either way.

    Now I’m not saying that that’s how their top distributors actually operated, just how I was trained both by official company materials and also the encouragement of the few levels of “upline” above me.

    If that focus ran through the company writ large, I can only conclude that is a legitimate business.

    (Profitable is another matter.)

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    Christoph Dollis Reply:

    Afterthought:

    NSA’s water filters at the time improved taste, so would have been certified to the lower NSF standard referred to in the whatsthebestwaterfilter.com website above. The company communicated to me very clearly that I could not make false claims in that regard.

    Apparently, the water filters on that “Multipure” site above are certified to actually remove a multitude of dangerous substances. Nothing wrong with that! As a libertarian, I’m sure you don’t have an issue with trade or direct selling or even online selling as such … at least, I would hope not.

    And seriously, with the amount they charge for bottled water these days and the amount people drink, I doubt a person who installed one of those filters and, due to both improved taste and comfort with the safety of their water, drank more of it would even lose money relative to not making the change. They — the customer — may actually profit in terms of savings and health.

    I’m not a fanboy here, I don’t even know that company; I’m just saying that in principle that product is a good product for a certain type of customer. Certainly no worse than $2 a bottle Dasani water, supporting the utterly evil Coca Cola company’s coffers.

    Is Coke MLM? No. Corrupt and generally horrible … and responsible for, easily, as much life-destruction as the MLMs (and probably much more)? Hell yeah!

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  • SD (author) said:

    Let’s let the spam through on this post :: in a special tribute to online success … and dog shit Louboutin … UggBoots … MP3 player … SearsCard.

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @SD,

    You once said stuff to the effect that this whole site was a bit like a work of art… or a testament to something or other.

    Anyway, as this page fills up, it’s already quickly turning into its own mini work of spammer art. It’s like all you had to do was put up a page specifically titled “… you can’t make money online” and Internet Marketing-Make Money Online spammers all flock to it like moths to a candle flame. It’s fascinating to watch.

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  • Richie said:

    I might be wrong, but I always felt like the salty droid was a free speech sight first, and an anti fraud site second?

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @Richie,

    From what I’ve read and heard Jason say and stuff, I believe the site simply started as a joke. Small time scammers just seemed like the abso-perfect target of scorn, derision, and good old potty mouth trash talking toilet humor.

    The scammers fought back. Kind of like a lot. Most of them have no morals, but most of them are/were more sane than Crystal Cox. So they attacked Salty all kinds of ways, and ultimately got him kicked off of just about everywhere.

    But saltydroid.info’s current hosting is one of those cool orgs that is not so concerned with profit, but is very concerned with free speech stuff.
    (Please Donate today!)

    And, you know, @SD’s operator is all educated and stuff. He knows the importance of free speech both in principle and in practice. And what with scammers coming out of the woodwork threatening legal action left and right, free speech protections became highly “relevant to @SD’s interests.”

    So.. there we are then. rah, rah free speech.

    { The above was, of course totally just my opinion and interpretation of stuff I’ve heard and read. I could be mostly or completely wrong. }

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

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    Francis the Talking Mule Reply:

    @Wyrd, Nope, the site didn’t start as a joke. It was the ANSWER to a joke – the ‘joke’ that anyone can make money online. Except the ‘joke’ didn’t have any punchline, and it wasn’t really a joke. Oh, and it hurt people and families and stuff.

    @Richie, More accurately, the site is one of the few that enables free speech ABOUT fraud.

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    R.I.P.

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    @Jack,

    I’m thinking that you meant to do this:

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @Wyrd,

    Yes, let’s all do online trading (sarcasm). Because why should the fat cat scammers have all the fun at the taking my money away? With online trading, I get to do it to myself! In real time! It’s just like gambling. Except there aren’t as many flashy lights and no one is comping any drinks. Also, and this is the dangerous bit, there’s the false impression given out that this kind of stock trading isn’t the same as gambling.

    Except, basically, it is. Unless, except of course if you have information no one else has or if you have huge resources and you’re able to do something like “pump and dump”. But then, those are illegal of course. So in those cases while you might have been able to make the trading itself nearly risk free, you are still taking on a substantial risk. You will have exchanged the risk of a losing trade for the risk of getting caught.

    At least that’s my take on the whole thingie. I think that it can be possible to make money at the stock market. But I don’t think online trading should get to count as “investing”. That’s just playing an elaborate, sophisticated game with your money. Like gambling.

    May the odds be ever in your favor!


    Furry cows moo and decompress.

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    Jack Reply:

    @Wyrd, I was thinking more about like this one:

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @Jack,

    That makes more sense I think. Yeah, I sorta posted that one link without really noticing what it was until after it was up already. My bad.

    MPHG is classic. It’s the furriest. :-D

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    Jack Reply:

    I’m sorry to hear about that you’re only getting the three emails with the identical comment because you are supposed to be getting 5 of them I think. I think it isn’t so possible for SD to remove you from the service, but maybe something to do is for him to add you on to send you many more comments from other posts so that it can be more interesting for you to see them.

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    @Jack,

    If they didn’t lamely try using an http address as a Name, that’d help. In the raw comment preview on the side of the page, and in my email, it shows up as @http … But in the processed comment that shows up here on the page, the @ line gets “eaten”.

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    @Hans Rostek,

    @Hans Rostek,

    Hi there, Mr. highestpayingaffiliateproducts.com . Do you seriously expect me to believe you make money online with that site?

    Click Bank, huh? I’m not really in the scene. But my understanding is that even half-way not scammy affiliates–those that we could call gray-hat or something–even those folks tend to steer well clear of Click Bank.

    As for the rest of your site–well, what can I say? It just looks hella lame.

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    see also @Jack’s posts. He makes good points.

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

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