Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

Anti-Douche-Bag Protocol


The Salty Droid is not programed to cause serious injury to innocent civilians. Insult sequences are intended to generate smiles and anti-oxidants. But, perhaps you still don’t like The Salty Droid because:

  • you don’t get it
  • the profanity is excessively overt and galling (god damn fucking right!)
  • sarcasm gives you migraines
  • you’re fragile and insecure because of the things your father didn’t say
  • robot metaphors are fucking done to death
  • you think The Droid is a not-funny hack bastard

Well … Touché! Go ahead and fuck str8 off then. Unfollow @SaltyDroid. Block. Give him the smack down on your way out. Your error in taste and judgment will be disregarded. The Droid will not chase you across the intertubes. Innocents are encouraged to flee like baby girls!

HOWEVER … The Droid also has an aggressive Anti-Douche-Bag Protocol. The ADBP seeks to mark and destroy humans who are making life miserable for others. Only unambiguous exploiters, cheaters, and liars will be singled out by the ADBP. If you are one of these people, DO NOT FOLLOW @SaltyDroid! It’s a big mistake! But if it’s too late, and your follow bot has already followed The Droid, you must avoid these ADBP triggers:

  • follow/unfollow repeatedly
  • tweeting about your scam
  • responding unimpressively to The Droid
  • blocking The Droid when your scam is mocked
  • refusing to follow The Droid’s instructions
  • coming to the defense of another** d-bag**
  • just existing

Once the ADBP is activated >> there will be NO mercy >> and NO place to hide