Operation Relocation
Salty Droid headquarters is being relocated due to an outbreak of bordomites. Bordomites :: in case you’ve never heard of them :: are a thing I just made up that force you to relocate. {sorry stalkers :: you’ll have to start all over}
Several days without the …. OMG … NO! :: I can’t say it.
PULL IT TOGETHER ASSHOLE!!
Several days without the Internet {tears}.
I hope I survive …
I hope you survive ….
I hope hope survives …..
>> bleep bloop
No related posts.
what??????????????????????????????????????
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Salty I hope you’ll be alright.
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You should auction off the old place, I’m sure plenty of d-bags would love to own a piece of history…
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If your internet withdrawal symptoms are drastic, go to internet cafes and buy cards for cash.
It may be the only way you can log on and do stuff in a way that cannot be traced.
Until things settle down, know we are all wishing you well.
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Good luck in LaJolla. Those d-bags will really have something to worry about now!
WINNER!! ::
+13
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-16
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That's why it smells Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
@Salty’s Hot Realtor Lady, So you copped a squat?
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So you copped a squat? Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-4
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That’s sad news,but wishing you the best.
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Good luck in the new Droid abode!
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I heard that the Droid was moving to a large mansion he bought in Beverly Hills.
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I have a feeling the Droid will rise again, bigger and stronger than ever. Best of luck to you, SD! (And there is life beyond the Internet, although for the moment I can’t recall where it might be.)
WINNER!! ::
+7
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So does that mean you are closing shop? No more droid?
…. did one of these gurus actually effectively sue/ litigate you out of blogging?
…. did they finally present a bribe big enough that was worth walking away? Did salty cross into the dark side?
What happened to this place? It’s so quiet.
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Enjoy your new place. Beautiful dog, SD.
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How are we going to survive without your Salty Droid parodies on a regular basis? Waaa! :-{ Must we create our own,though they pale in comparison to those of the Droid? Okay,then. Here’s one,which,btw,I posted under DeathRay’s 4th video.
7 F*c*-tors List
1-a Porpoise
2-some Venison
3-a Couch
4-a Prick Test (for allergies,guys)
5-Mentos (Bryan N’s idea,which was the inspiration for this list)
6-a Groupie
7-a Retweet
WINNER!! ::
+10
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Hope to see you safely behind the keyboard in your new digs soon.
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>> ping!
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Rafael Marquez Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 9:09 am
@SD,
Packets: Sent = 1, Received = 1, Lost = 0 (0% loss)
Just thought I’d reply to your ping.
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Good luck with the move SD!
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why are all kinds of people getting banned from the warrior forum for no reason and mobs of interwebz peeps are screaming “freedom of speech!”?
could it possibly be, that people are coming to salty’s blog here and starting to ask too many questions, make too many demands for refunds, or even *gasp* worse… they’re just not buying anymore?
?? ?? ?? ?? ?
[Reply]
Will Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
The “Worrier Forum” is a huge, huge waste of time. It’s like the “holding pen for newbies with cash.” It’s also a place where the talkers like to hang out and paypal each other back and forth instead of getting out in the real world. You might call it a “hangout for dysfunctional wannabe marketers.” Sad and pathetic. Smart folks avoid that forum like the plague.
[Reply]
Tom Porky Reply:
April 17th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
@Will,
And StomperNet is the paid version of the warrior forum
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Lance Reply:
April 18th, 2010 at 12:03 am
Hard to believe anybody these days would still PAY to join “Stompernet.” What a waste of money.
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Miss you Salty. The blogosphere (did I spell that right?) is just not the same without you.
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Maybe we could all pitch in and get Droid one very large Amazon gift card. Seems to work for others….
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I second that…Miss you Salty..It is just not the same without you..I always look forward to your JRI blogs..You have such a way with words..
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Oi fucker… get your ass back here and start doing shit around the place. You have missed Jason Moffatt blowing a fuse on Twitter and Facebook about some guy that didn’t like him
Mike Koenigs trying to pass off “tired old marketing strategies” like he never (and still doesn’t) promote them
Every asswipe and their mother talking about stupid their goddam ipad
WINNER!! ::
+11
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The sun is shining, I had a rumble under the sheets today and the Pinot Griglio is flowing =0> so I could really say I don’t give a chuff!
But what I will say is Jason… you keep well my friend… hope the move has been seamless, the bastards are off your ass… and I’m sure the future will be astonishing ;0>
Hope y’all’s having the most wonderfab weekend!!! =0>
Peace
JJ
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The Force is strong in that one…the Droid will return shortly!
Hey, where’s the magic unicorn? Can’t _Cartman_ ask the universal mine to return Salty to us?!
Seriously though SD, hope it’s all going well and normal Droid service will resume soon.
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
@Nikki,
OH man…I was in the middle of a huge transmission when I got the following….
connection reset by pear (the universal mine has been a little fruity as of late)….
“The universal mine is temporarily offline for routine maintenance, all requests made while offline will not be manifested. Please save your request, and resubmit them later.”
When the Universal mine is back up and running…I’m on it!
PS – For those who don’t believe in the universal mine. Undeniable proof….some may have red (yeah yeah…I add a little color to my writing), about hanging my chopper from a string to the ceiling that sits over my Vector W2 (and those who still use vision boards…..hello…this is the 10′s…where have you been…vision boards is so 00′s…visionprops(TM) are the future)….now where was I…..oh yeah….I was watching a movie “the island”….and needless to say there was a chopper following a car (that looked like a vector W2)….not to mention the yacht (correction:super yacht)….coincidence….I think not…..this is the first step the universal mine is taking to molester my dreams…it’s truly magical!!!
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I be missing ur posts much. Howevahs, since u’s posting don’t be keepin’ me in herez on the interwebs at lengths I discoverz a close second to ur lyricalz, satiricalz, always based on empiricalz postes du jours —- name of Die Antwoord.
http://www.dieantwoord.com/
[Reply]
Voorhees Reply:
April 17th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Just go here spoonface: http://snipurl.com/vfynj
[Reply]
hrm Reply:
April 18th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
@spoonfaceboy,
God damn… that dieantwoord site is the most annoying site I’ve seen in a long time.
I couldn’t take more than 4 seconds before I clicked the x, and not just a standard old clicking of the x, BUT WITH CONVICTION!
[Reply]
spoonfaceboy Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 11:05 am
@hrm, den u must be a hater … because deys better’n u r.
Just kidding — it’s the first line in the first track that plays on the site.
Die Antwword is extremely dirty and vulgar but, they’re performance artists and when you realize what they’re doing it’s funny. Really funny. And smart. I like funny and smart.
Further proof that the US doesn’t hold a monopoly on creativity or humor.
P.S. If you have a weak stomach don’t search for (or translate into Afrikaans) the title of the the song Jou Ma Se Poes En Fishpaste Jar. The pic on the group’s blog is tragically weird and tasteless (just like the title of the song).
P.P.S. It’s funny though.
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Good luck on your move!
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I know this is SO the wrong post to vault this topic on, and maybe it is so tired and I missed the ball coming back over the net…but the question HAS to be asked and should be well-known, answered and catalogued by now {I’m thinkin’}…so WTF?!
In consideration of us being surrounded by these lying D-Bags all the time with their rehashed hash-mark lies, why in the fuck does anybody keep buying it?
Yes, there are Noobs…but that is going to fade. So, that leaves people who must believe that what the Circle jerks are saying is Possible, Feasible…Do-Able…Something-able!!!
The bottom line is this {yep, here’s the real question finally, so wake the fuck back up!}:
Is ANYBODY making any kind of money online?
Is ANYBODY making serious money online that DOESN’T LIE to people or
isn’t Amazon.com?
Is what anybody is trying to sell in IM even FUCKING Possible. NOBODY can
seem to mobilize enough real people who will give a straight, honest,
Factual answer.
If we know it isn’t fucking possible, we can wipe ourselves off all
scumbag email lists (I did…I’ve never felt so clean ;P ) and
just spread the word and expose the Lies for what they are.
We are so afraid we are going to miss something…I totally agree. We may miss locusts, STD’s, feeling dirty, feeling robbed, I could go on and on! We WANT to miss what we might miss from those guys!!
When there is SPECULATION on the table :: can it, can’t it, can it, can’t it, he says Yes, she says No, they say you can make more money than Oprah, etc:: WHAT IS THE FUCKING BOTTOM LINE?!
If making money online is just a big fucking lie, WE’RE DONE PEOPLE. When we know the deal, we’re safe…so, among us fucking SD’ers, we can’t come up with the real Bottom Line here? I find that impossible to believe.
The people in this room – the real SD’ers – should be able to answer this question(s) and then get off the fucking bus to Scamville once and for all!
Let’s help people stop getting reamed by the Lords of the (Dingleberries) Rings Circle (Jerks)…if the party Sucks, let’s fucking Go Home!!
If you can’t make money online, we need to get the word out and that will throw a big fat stick of dyn-o-mite right up their asses…{I’ll hold the lighter…gladly!}
Until we can honestly and factually answer this question, Grey Area exists where you know the Circle Jerks will continue blowing each other and “spitting out” on you.
To all of y’all who think I posted this question in the wrong place…no fucking shit! Show me where anyone is honestly answering this {WITHOUT hand-jobbing themselves at the same time!! That’s my criteria…so deal!!} and I’m gonna go stand in THAT room because this is patently absurd. Those shitbags THRIVE on people being unable to get clear on this question!!
I hate launching this question in a totally unrelated comment area, so maybe the omniscient SD can figure out a better way. Maybe put us in a room with this question or set up a survey…I dunno…someplace we can all go to weigh in.
HOWEVER, if it is possible to make money online and y’all are actually doing it, the following rules apply:
If you can’t replace your job working online, the answer is NO!
If you are making enough dough online, are you killing yourself 24 hours
a day to achieve that? Is is sustainable?
If you only make a few hundred dollars a month, the answer is NO!
If you are pulling down serious G’s, hard and fast, the answer is YES (and please anonymously enlighten us on a ball-park if this is so).
We aren’t talking about whether you can make enough in a month for cab-fare to a movie now and then, we are talking about whether what these shitbags are trying to sell people is even remotely possible or if it would be easier to win the fucking lottery…
Since all we mostly know about is our own success (and the paths we took to arrive at it), we need to know if it is possible for many people, for any people, to do such things in this arena…
The U.S. Census should send out this Fucking Survey, if they really want to be useful!!
Is it possible to make real, serious money online? Yes or No.
If you think Yes, prove it, Dumbass. What’s your ballpark? How many G’s
do you consistenly pull down each month? Or even M’s? Anything below that doesn’t fucking count enough to matter!
This could help us compile a report that would blow the fucking lid off these guys and their scummy scamming once and for all.
LC
[Reply]
Austin Reply:
April 25th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
@LiarCrusher,
You can make good money online but NOT through “information marketing.” “Info marketing” may sound easy and convenient to some, but it’s really the hardest way to make it because there is no barrier to entry and too much consumer skepticism anyway.
However, you can make good money selling physical products that are actually useful and that people want to buy. I say that with certainty because I have sold millions of dollars worth of such goods online myself. But, it’s like any regular (real world) business, and you have all the headaches of any regular walk-in type business. It’s not instant wealth by any means, and it does involve work.
Most folks that are buying this guru stuff are seriously wasting their money. I say that with 100% certainty and experience. Those guys are selling you their experience about selling the same stuff that YOU just bought. In other words, it’s VERY disconnected knowledge, based on a very unique, non-mainstream customer segment. So naturally, when you try to apply that to regular customers (non get rich quick stuff), you’ll see different (or poor) results. With few exceptions just selling “information” is not a solid, sustainable business. The internet provides too many free alternatives, and people are frugal these days.
You can get an AWESOME real world marketing education online for under a few hundred bucks (membership to ppc forums, specialized industry sites, etc.). Plus there are some amazing free forums (go check out marketingexperiments.com, which is a free site that would be worth paying for if they charged). These resources can teach you a LOT.
Anyway, if you are disillusioned, GET OUT of the money making niche! It’s oversaturated anyway, and a great way to waste a lot of your time. Think about selling real stuff online. Start with ebay if you have no experience or limited resources. Then get your own site and shopping cart up and running. Choose a specific niche and overwhelm people with expertise and service. Tip: if resources are minimal, go to local or regional liquidation auctions, which right now are a good way to buy stuff cheap in bulk. Look for them online.
Few people hit the jackpot, but you can earn a nice living online if you’re honest, resourceful, and treat your customers right.
[Reply]
Liar Crusher Reply:
April 27th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
@Austin
Thanks, Austin, for that post…I think it’ll help anyone looking to canvas for solid online info.
I don’t have the issue, so this isn’t a response to a “personal situation.”
We need to compile a body of Surveyed evidence that can help keep the innocent out of the jaws of the scam-sharks.
If we know if it is possible and people are making serious money doing it (and weighing in with my own experience is NOT the body of knowledge a survey requires, understand?), then we can advise the flock, instead of just watching it get slaughtered by the Circle Jerk crew.
I think the Internet is the way of the future for commerce.
What the Jerks are trying to sell people as “possible” seems a little like, well, bullshit!! People need to know that unless they are, to use your example, willing to stockpile an airplane hangar full of shit to resell on EBay, no, it isn’t possible.
People need to know what works and what doesn’t.
The EBay dynamic has been popular for years and some people DO clean up on that, no doubt. Many people may not have the capital, the space, or the ambulatory capacity to go into the merchandise moving business.
I’m “educated” up to my eyeballs…really…but the rest of the world needs to know the real deal. I can’t gauge the world by MY experience. I know why I am doing what I am doing…but I doubt most people trying to enter the online marketplace do.
The more we can help them, protect them, guide and direct them to reasonable avenues, the better.
But, hey, that’s just my fucking opinion.
As for your own success, I am not sure that stockpiling liquidation goods to resell on EBay is possible for everyone. Think of Aunt Mildred in the wheelchair with emphysema needing to support her medications habit.
I do appreciate you sharing your path and ideas for success.
Hell, all information of an honest nature can help people decide what to do and what to avoid – so it all helps. I’ll be happy to add it to the list of Surveyed collecteds. Any particular thing you have been “moving in mass quantities” or has it just been general stuff. If so, how do you know WHAT to buy and what to resell, and WTF do you do with all the shit that doesn’t sell. (Man, you have a big pair!! That sounds major!) The paradigm you describe isn’t feasible for a lot of people in a lot of areas either, I imagine. Between purchasing, capital investment, shipping, hauling mass loads…that’s a lot of shit, Son!!
I do agree, an online business is a Business Business!!
LC
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Found this today and thought I was going to puke…so I thought I’d share with y’all…
“Hi, it’s Mike Koenigs, and I have this t-shirt…
It has a dinosaur with a megaphone on it. It’s white – men’s large. I get it dry-cleaned.
And today at 10am Pacific, 1pm Eastern, I’m going to show you my T-shirt LIVE in High Definition.
Hello? Still with me? :)
My little t-shirt buddy is called a “Disruptosaurus”. It’s (light up your incense now) sort of a philosophy that I believe in – disrupting the Normal – disrupting the “conventional”.
Essentially, it’s about making a difference by taking the path YOU want to take.”
Nauseating, isn’t it…they are really scraping the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the barrel they usually scrape for shitbag angles and ideas. They are running out of shit, folks!! Unfortunately for the world, that doesn’t mean they plan to stop.
Wow! That picture of Andy Jenkins with the Deepak Chopra book…was a bloated gasbag. He is more nauseating in that picture than I could ever have imagined. No wonder he his his skimey face under the glasses and baseball cap on his Video Loss pre-launch videos!!
So much for my appetite for today!!
LC
[Reply]
Jake Reply:
April 27th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
@Liar Crusher, yes, that is ridiculous. Saying you are being disruptive and being disruptive are two different things. Koenigs has yet to say anything I have not heard or would consider worth the effort to listen to.
I have seen NOT ONE SINGLE DISRUPTIVE (groundbreaking) thing come from ANY of these so-called gurus, EVER. And I’m a long time biz guy with some substantial experience and success under my belt (not in the money making field).
Most of these guys offer nothing more than vague “checklists” that they have then turned into bulky, overwrought and verbose crap courses at hyper inflated prices.
I think you can benefit from experts, but there is such a large percentage of bullshitters as compared to real world experts out there, maybe it’s best that people generally avoid anyone who claims to be an expert, outside of a local services person (accountant, attorney, whatever).
But Mike Koenigs…sheesh.
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
April 27th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
@Liar Crusher,
yeah…koenings is so full of crap….
Koenings (with his traffic geezer) is now trying to show “noobs” how he ranked for “la jolla house painter”….and not just one link on google page one, but four….
Actually there are 248 instances of the phrase (la jolla house painter), and all but the spam that followed his experiment, belong to Koening….
It’s really too fucking bad Koening “forgot” to mention that nobody searches for “la jolla house painter” (according to google keyword tool..that and the fact he was able to register http://www.lajollahousepainter.com …and the fact that “phrase” did NOT exist before he ranked for it)….so ranking for a worthless non-searched (non-existent) phrase is extremely easy (who knew)….but the truth makes no difference in Koening’s world….
Will Koenings POS software rank on page one (or anywhere close) for a real searched (highly competitive search term)…fuck no….butt…for ~$70/month (or whatever it costs), you can rank on page one for all search terms which nobody wants or do not exist….imagine ranking for the phrase “blue monkeys fly out of Mike Koenings butt”….with traffic geezer…you can!!! Praise cheesus!!!
And to make sure nobody penetrates his BS…well…he made his youtube “stats and data” private…wonder why….oh yeah….so it can’t be shown that the term he “ranked” for, doesn’t get searched…..and to hide where he is getting his youtube views from…
[Reply]
Frank Reply:
April 28th, 2010 at 4:09 am
Cartman’s right on the money. Teaching someone how to achieve nothing at something is still worth zip. Let’s see him go into a heavily competitive market cold and get some fast ranking using meaningful terms that have real volume. Isn’t gonna happen.
[Reply]
Liar Crusher Reply:
April 28th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
@_cartman_
LUIPMP !!! (Laughed until I peed my pants…okay, close to that! ;D)
I couldn’t agree more…they are wielding the opposite of “planned obsolescence”…I call it…”Nobdoy has any fucking interest in that shit anyway.” I spent a lot of time thunking up the name for it, like these ass-breathed loser “gurus”.
You know, I hated that word from the first time I heard it…I guess it was a premonition all those years ago!!! Just hearing it or reading it now makes my skin crawl and makes me want to…do impolite things to bad people.
I know, I knew as soon as I read Koenigs DBag shit – I just could not freakin’ BELIEVE anybody would try anything that lame. As usual, the Gurus prove me wrong! A two-year old could come up with something more marketing savvy than that. Now he is sifting thru his dirty laundry for ideas on how to make something to sell something that has a negative usefulness value?! A schizophrenic convention would be more cohesive and make more sense.
You’re right, Mike’s a total moron.
I recently heard a video where a Frank Kern hand-jobber you all well know is telling people not to get into the niche markets to tap, but to go into the three main “Big and Hot” markets instead – make $ online (fucking seriously?!), dieting, dating – and they write back in and go I get tons of traffic in these markets but no sales. Well fucking Duh, people!!
I am wondering if they are now trying to dissuade people from niche marketing because that is how most of these shitbags maintain their income streams. You know niches are a disappearing coastline, so maybe they are trying to evacuate the flock and keep the remaining beachfront for themselves.
Didja get Frank’s mail saying he is taking a year off (liar, someone forced him into that, he’s too greedy to do that himself – I smell FTC) to develop a business plan to tap into the entire marketing budgets of States?! Says Philadelphia has a $800 million ad budget…and you can just see the dollar signs in Kern’s black-souled eyes.
I think we should get together and beat him to the punch!!
er, maybe we should skip “the punch”? ;)
I am sure that he and his blowjob buddies as AssWipe Central are trying to figure out how to design a software to monopolize those markets. That could be bad. If the FTC doesn’t nail him on piracy, nobody is going to know the real Frank Kern when he starts going for State Advertising Budget Domination (you know he will…read between the lines…they are hot and heavy in development…the evil plan will be well underway and States conquered in a years time).
I really lose my appetite when I come in here and start looking at all this scummyness. Turns my stomach!
What a bunch of fucking idiots!
How do we use their idiocy against them is the question…more effectively than they are waging it against the innocent?
Has Kern really not robbed enough innocent people and made enough money to just slink off and leave them be already?
Despicable!!
LC
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So what’s up with the Sheltie? Whats his name? How old is he?
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