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Salty Droid

James Ray Trial Relocations :: May 4th

It’s an outstanding day at James Ray International :: in a parallel universe … or something. But back here in the 3rd dimension of realities things are still suck-balls for James Ray International and its chief officers James Arthur Ray :: James Arthur Ray :: and let me not forget … James Arthur Ray.

All the evidence in the trial continues to point overwhelmingly to Mr. Ray’s guilt/worthlessness. The defense is presenting lots of imaginary evidence :: all of which is super awesome except for the part where it’s imaginary.

It’s hard to watch :: trials are horrible spectacles of dysfunction. Don’t think just because you’ve featured here I’ll be covering your inevitable trial … I won’t. You’ll “literally” have to kill people first {please don’t}.

Anywayz :: in what hopefully is not to become a Spring ritual :: Droid headquarters is once again being relocated. I filed a motion for a continuance with the court :: but each member of the defense team wrote a separate brief about why I should be denied my constitutional rights to have the trial postponed for unrelated personal reasons.

Mr. Kelly :: Judge … there is no reason for this. My client has the right to a fair trial and this Droid character already had a pretty nice apartment.

SD :: Objection you honor … speculation!

etc …

My arguments were all epic genius {Mr. Li broke into tears and rushed off to the women’s room}. But the motion was denied over a technicality involving my fake secretary Debbie not actually existing …

– Rules of the Court –

fake evidence = yes

fake secretaries = no

So dubious connectivity and availability for me over the next couple of days. Maybe when I return it will be to a new land of unicorns :: rainbows :: pots of gold :: and a judicial process that services its function and its people.

… or not.

Now eat these tweets and don’t get fat!

– Ms Polk has decided not to call family members :: but if Mr Kelly wants to make foundation objections she’d be willing. #JamesRay defending! #

– Mr. Kelly admits some dirt. #JamesRay #

– The detectives were trying to determine how #JamesRay “caused the symptoms” he told participants to expect. #

– Mr. Kelly talks about how the crime scene tape area could have been bigger. #JamesRay #

– There really isn’t any traditional evidence at the scene of a manipulation crime :: Mr. Kelly wishes there was though. #JamesRay #

– Some people were cool like Rocky :: some people were dead. “Common sense” says it’s not toxins. Mr. Kelly objects to common sense. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly purposes preposterous hypotheticals about the vaporization of ant poison. #JamesRay #

– The heat explanation made more “common sense” because of the flap … and because duh. #JamesRay #

– The main problem with reconstructing the lodge scenario is that some of the test subjects would die and get kidney failures. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly asks Det. Diskin about the tarp nails in the logs that weren’t burned. Hammering home that kick ass “point”. #JamesRAy #

– Mr. Kelly’s chemistry degree predates science. #JamesRay #oldpeople #

– How much evidence did you take? … the flow chart. #JamesRay #

– Volatiles were present at 203 degrees :: so there’s that. Maybe it was 203 degrees in the lodge too. #JamesRay #

– Morning recess. Mr. Kelly goes into the hall to finish thinkin’ through his “trace chemical murder” theorem. #JamesRay #

– I guess baby killin’ mommas are more fun since they don’t implicate the corruption & complicity of the media. #JamesRay @InSession @CNNLive #

– Defense plays the phantom medic tape again over Ms. Polk’s objection. Ridiculous. #JamesRay #

– Det. Diskin is sooo not Mark Fuhrman :: the defense’s last hope slowly withers. #JamesRay #

– Ms. Polk makes a couple “asked and answered” objections :: could do that for most questions. Defense only has like 3 questions. #JamesRay #

– The words “trace” and “death” don’t belong together. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly asks Det. Diskin about the Haddow email. #JamesRay #

– Q: “The State was sanctioned for a Brady violation?” A: Objection! Sustained. Jury dismissed. #JamesRay #

– Ms. Polk pushing for calling Haddow as the remedy for the Brady violation. #JamesRay #

– “Mr. Kelly has gone far too far.” #JamesRay #

– Ms. Polk unusually adamant. #JamesRay #

– The defense has implied to the jury that the State is withholding evidence from them :: Ms. Polk won’t stand for it. Lunch. #JamesRay #

– We’re back :: talking about the situation with the flies. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly’s last question :: “this is the first homicide where you served as a case agent?” … #JamesRay #

– Ms. Polk admits exhibit #1002 :: it’s an ant zoom-in :: OMG ants! Run for your lives! #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly’s investigation flow chart left out approximately one full investigation. #JamesRay #

– Det. Diskin explains how he assess the credibility of a witness statement without reference to their beliefs in talking animals and such. #

– The Hamiltons cooperated with Det. Diskin … the defense not so much. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly makes an objection and requests the previously requested jury instruction in the presence of the jury. Classy! #JamesRay #

– Some talk on the blog about how much rat/ant cake you’d need to take a bath in or eat in order to die … #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly makes about 20 objections to wood questions. Defense has copyright on stupid wood questions. #JamesRay #

– Recess for some good time arguments. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Kelly argues that only God has the proper foundation to testify about whether or not wood is made of trees. #JamesRay #tedious Recess. #

– Det. Diskin lists off the various places {including food} where one might find 2-Ethylhexanol :: #JamesRay #

– Pursuant to Kelly’s objections Ms. Polk is using the word “belief” instead of “opinion”. Too bad belief is the more charged term. #JamesRay #

– Sidebar. Camera sweeps to #JamesRay :: he’s dripping with integrity. #

– belief = an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists :: trust, faith, or confidence #JamesRay #

– opinion = a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge #JamesRay #

– If only Mr. Kelly owned a dictionary :: or a Kindle. #JamesRay #

– Det. Diskin :: “I did not ignore any evidence in this case.” #JamesRay #

– Det. Diskin :: “This case was about the way #JamesRay did his sweat lodge.” Redirect complete. Jury questions. #

– Long sidebar :: defense prolly objecting to the juries questions as well. #JamesRay #

– Jury Question :: Are there results from Arizona poison control? A: No. #JamesRay #

– Det. Diskin continued the good work he started two years ago. #JamesRay #

– State calls Steven Page :: former detective … current analyst of some kind. Diagramed the crime scene. #JamesRay #

– I draw the line at blogging about geometry. #JamesRay #

– States geometry direct very brief :: Mr. Li … #JamesRay #

– Mr. Li :: “Why aren’t there any ants in these diagrams?” :: BOOM! :: tears off tie and walks out triumphantly. #JamesRay #imagination #

– 15 min on the percentage of dirt sampled for evidence. #JamesRay #

– Nothing is more convincing to a jury of regular “folks” than hypothetical maths. #JamesRay #

– Mr. Li rests his maths. #JamesRay Very short redirect. Mr. Page is given a moment to do A squared plus B squared equal C squared #

– Jury has no math questions. Mr. Page dismissed subject to recall. #JamesRay #

– This completes today’s justices. #JamesRay #

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