BlogWorld New Media Expo Cofounder & CEO Rick Calvert {he insists that you call him by his full title on all occasions} … was born in a small stupid town that sat right outside a slightly larger stupid town. Rick always wanted to live in the slightly larger stupid town {where all the good people lived} :: but his family was too poor … they could barely afford to keep the goats. Rick’s mother was an Oompa-loompa :: and his father a failed professional bowler … hopelessly addicted to sniffing shoe glue. …

Sonia Simone and Naomi Dunford are BFFs :: they bonded early {and often} over their mutual love of other people’s money. In a 2008 post on Sonia’s typepad blog :: celebrating her one whole year anniversary in blogging … she gave a shout out to the unlovely Ms. Spider Dunford …

The now-infamous Naomi Dunford found Remarkable Communication right around the middle of September and showed up for the first time in my comments. She proceeded to start a little blog on home business marketing that instantly trounced mine for traffic and subscribers, but …

Chris Brogan isn’t fond of bragging :: it’s just that bragging is what he does for a “career” so it’s become a bit of a habit … you know?
Chris wrote a post about The Verge’s Scamworld article :: from his home well inside Scamworld … because that’s how we fucking roll in Scamworld. Self-awareness is an impediment to crime-based-pseudo-success :: never forget that … but remember not to remember that you’re remembering it … or you might start feeling guilty about being such a major asshole.
The URL for the post …

I’m on vacation … so let’s just read some of my March emails together shall we? I think it will be fun because I won’t have to do very much work {I already wrote March’s emails} :: and you’ll think it’s fun because you’re easily amused like a methed-up gerbil.

BlogWorldExpo –

Jason,
My name is Shane and I’m the conference director for BlogWorld and New Media Expo. I wanted to reach out to see if you would be interested or would consider doing a keynote presentation at one of our shows.
We …

Do you want to attend SummerCamp with Naomi Dunford and learn all about how you can use full-body Spanx to make yourself look exactly like a chunk of chubby girl sausage?
I’m sorry that was mean :: Naomi doesn’t want me to be mean to women “bloggers” just because they’re destroying the lives of countless other women and children. But it’s really hard for me to heed the warnings of turnip headed turds :: and sometimes I just blurt things out. Please accept my apologies … you talking piece of garbage.
Well …

Life coaching is not a unicorn :: it’s fucking real.  Just ask life coach Tim Brownson. You can even say fuck when you ask him :: because as Tim tells us in his twitter profile …

I’m not your average Life Coach. I swear, I’m occasionally grumpy and I don’t take life too seriously. I’m highly experienced and very good at what I do though.

He swears :: all the big boys are doing it now. Dad says he shouldn’t :: but he does it anyway … fuck you dad!
Tim Brownson’s buy my life …

How you like me now Naomi Dunford?
Shit Storms happen!
 
It’s probably best not to do your own viral marketing campaign for my site during a run-up to a ShitStorm :: unless you have a “career” death wish {not to be construed as a death threat [allegedly]} … but maybe I just don’t know cause I’m not a problogger.
Above are the pageviews for the last seven days on the FakeRobot and ChubbySpider websites. Her views peaked on the 30th :: the day after her fake death threat post. But with a little {/lot} of …

Dave Navarro and Naomi Dunford are having an affair … they’re shagging … they both betrayed their families for a bunch of shagging …
… or something.
I guess :: that’s what everyone tells me … but thankfully I didn’t witness it myself.  Oh and also … I don’t give a shit.
Every person I asked about this situation immediately started in on the shagging. Haven’t you people ever noticed how I write about fraud rings?
I told Dave Navarro that I was coming to his cybertown :: and asked him if he’d like …

“I’m going to tell you a story and it’s very, very important. Please read it, all the way through. Women’s lives are at stake.”

One of my posts could start like that :: if I were a shit-trite writer … cause women’s lives are at stake. The after effects of protracted manipulation are regularly deadly … as Kirby :: Liz :: and Colleen might tell you if they weren’t already dead. And it’s not hard to imagine how often something like this …

… leads to a nice old{ish} lady deciding to …

Great black waves … {of allegory one supposes} … I think that’s where we left off.
ProBlogging :: you can do it! … in just 10 easy steps according to me.
And according to the professional blogger who calls himself ProBlogger :: Darren Rowse :: pro blogging is a six-figure type situation …

… apparently one of the secrets of six-figure blogging is book writing. Books are like blogs with all the convenience of a book … or something.
According to the professional blogger who calls himself Copyblogger :: Brian Clark :: if I want to be a …