Bottom Rocking the Planet

a short guy and his dream home ...

Not being an ass :: but Dean Graziosi sells better on camera than pretty much anyone on the planet right now … says asshole Dean Graziosi about himself … the loathsome and pathetic Dean Graziosi.

Better than anyone on the whole fucking planet! That’s how epic Dean is at the on camera selling. Planetary epic! If he does say so himself … not to be immodest or anything … but he’s the fucking best.

Sometimes though :: like maybe once in awhile :: or always :: he needs to use a couple boiler rooms just to make sure that people had the opportunity to realize exactly how good he truly was at on camera sales. Once they realize it :: they can haz their credit cards maxed out in appreciation.

Some people might call Dean Graziosi a front. A pointless puppet who struts around like he’s the main man :: while in fact not being the main man :: or any man :: at all. But I wouldn’t call Dean a front :: because I don’t think he’s tall enough to be a front … more like a nubbin.

The top nubbin of planetary sales is in the middle of a launch machine launch. Launch machine launches usually consist of four videos :: followed by a non-price-fixed price of $2000. Two thousand for nothing usually seems like a lot :: but in this case it’s a deal as Scammy Smurf explains on the final Rock Bottom Blueprint sales page …

“Separately, many of my successful students have paid over $15,550 for the above information and programs – but when you taken action today, you get it all and a LOT MORE for just a fraction of that! 30 days from now, as your doing your first deal and cashing a check for, $5,000, $10,000, $20,000 or more – you’ll know without a doubt what a STEAL the Rock Bottom Blueprint was for you.You’re ready to make this decision, I know it.”

Other people have been ripped off seven times as badly :: so this is really more like an investment … if you {snort a boatload of cocaine and don’t} think about it.

“When you believe in me (Dean), my entire organization believes in you. With expert help from my team, which you probably won’t need, but it’s there anyway, you can truly build the life you desire.”

Believeth in the Dean :: and The Truth shall set you free … or something.

“But maybe most important of all, you can stop relying on anyone or anything else but yourself for your income and the livelihood of your family. That struggle ends today.”

Four best-on-the-planet videos :: and an offer to end the struggle of poverty :: uncertainty :: and dependence … today.

So this frauduct launch will work :: no problem. It’s never failed before :: according to Irwin :: and Irwin has never been wrong.

But the cart opened :: and now short-stack :: short-bus :: short-stuff little bitch Dean Graziosi seems a bit worried …

“This is new to me but I am thinking sales for some of you are not hitting it as hard as you may be used to.

Could be that it is real estate, could be that they need to really see this can work for ANYONE. Well, here are a few things:

First: My team and I scrambled today and made some key changes that increased conversions by day’s end. We are going to see a jump there for sure.

Second: Live WebCast on Thursday and Saturday. I am literally flying in 11 insanely successful students who are going to show that ANYONE can do this when they follow what we teach.

Plus, going to have peeps like Frank Kern, Joe Polish, Brendon Burchard, David Bach, Mike Koenigs, Greg Habstritt, Greg Clement and other killer guests.

This is where I come to life and we are going to rock it. Doubts Be Gone!!!

So drive them to the Live web casts so I can get you the checks you deserve for supporting me. ;-)

I steal EVERYTHING from old ladies … lol … winking smiley face.

Top 10 as of last night:

1. Kevin Thompson

2. Brendon Burchard

3. Rick Dawson

4. David Bach

5. Don Fowler

6. Chris Howard

7. Mike Koenigs

8. Adam Black

9. Philip Tirone

10. Brian Tracy

I am going to rock the live web cast so push your peeps there. Like I said, I am guessing all your lists except one never got offered real estate so they need more proof. It is coming in those web casts.

Plus, even if you don’t hit record numbers, I am still stuck giving you fu$#ers killer ass prizes. ;-))

Ha ha ha!

Gosh this is fun and funny :: as long as your dead enough inside that you can’t hear the screams of suffering every fucking time you close your guilty as shit black eyes …

:-))

>> bleep bloop

44 thoughts on “Bottom Rocking the Planet”

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcttIt–JFI

    mr. Bach is really moving up world-wise since the amateur-hour shows at NBC, Yahoo Finance – first he got the Carbon Copy Pro good-deal

    I think we better tell him to update his Best investments over next 5 years column because he forgot to tell them to call the boiler rooms for the very best deals he can find them.

    The swear-words can’t do it well enough for me anymore, but I started thinking about the speedbag his nuts idea maybe.

    1. @Jack,

      Chorus:

      I’m forever blowing bubbles,
      Pretty bubbles in the air.
      They fly so high,
      Nearly reach the sky,
      Then like my dreams,
      They fade and die.
      Fortune’s always hiding,
      I’ve looked everywhere,
      I’m forever blowing bubbles,

      I’m dreaming dreams,
      I’m scheming schemes,
      I’m building castles high.
      They’re born anew,
      Their days are few,
      Just like a sweet butterfly.
      And as the daylight is dawning,
      They come again in the morning.

      I’m forever blowing bubbles,
      Pretty bubbles in the air.
      They fly so high,
      Nearly reach the sky,
      Then like my dreams,
      They fade and die.
      Fortune’s always hiding,
      I’ve looked everywhere,
      I’m forever blowing bubbles,
      Pretty bubbles in the air.

      When cattle creep,
      When I’m asleep,
      To lands of hope I stray.
      Then at daybreak,
      When I awake,
      My bluebird flutters away.
      Happiness new seemed so near me,
      Happiness come forth and heal me.

      I’m forever blowing bubbles,
      Pretty bubbles in the air.
      They fly so high,
      Nearly reach the sky,
      Then like my dreams,
      They fade and die.
      Fortune’s always hiding,
      I’ve looked everywhere,
      I’m forever blowing bubbles,
      Pretty bubbles in the air.

    2. @Jack, Ah, David Bach. Yet another example of a “guru” who started with perhaps good intentions and even produced a couple of books with sensible advice, some of which were bestsellers. But then he got caught up in the whole rock-stardom thing, and apparently felt compelled to keep producing increasingly simplistic and deceptive junk to keep the cash rolling in. This little piece from 2007 sums it up pretty well…
      http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/01/25/deconstructing-david-bach/

      …but of course it doesn’t tell the whole story. His association with these other scammers takes Bach down to a whole new level.

      1. @Cosmic Connie, I found out from the article-comments that Prosper strikes again. Ann said:

        “I know it’s been a while since anyone has posted on this topic, but want to chime in with my experience with David Bach and his coaching program through Prosper with the intention of warning anyone who might be considering getting involved with his program.What a nightmare!

        I take responsibility for the mistake I made in signing up for the coaching program, after expressing interest in Bach’s programs on his website. I was vulnerable after the death of my mother and wanted some guidance in dealing with a small inheritance.

        The more I engaged with the various people at Prosper, the more I felt I’d been completely scammed. Overpriced, simplistic e-courses, coaching that is nothing but more sales pitches, shady business practices…you name it.”

        Speaking of which, is this the common language for boiler-marketing room gotcha-waivers:
        http://bit.ly/qY0kZt

        This is same link but not with bit.ly:
        http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&site=&source=hp&q=%22Verbal+notice+may+not+always+be+provided+of+monitoring+or+recording.%22&pbx=1&oq=%22Verbal+notice+may+not+always+be+provided+of+monitoring+or+recording.%22&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=1472l2832l0l3208l3l3l0l0l0l0l833l833l6-1l1l0&fp=1&biw=1333&bih=606&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&cad=b

        1. @Jack, Wow… that google search is a real ‘who’s who’ of suck-sessful dog turds turned guru dog turds

      2. @Cosmic Connie, David Bach is yet another one of those characters who have been on Oprah. New rule of thumb: if someone has been on Oprah, STAY AWAY!

        Just think about all the DBs that have gotten Oprah’s “blessing”…pathetic. As far as I’m concerned, “O” has contributed to that “machine” and in so doing has become a part of it.

      3. @Cosmic Connie, Thanks for that informative link. Sigh. I once heard David Bach on a radio interview mention he does multiple media appearances EVERY DAY. I came away thinking, “Now there’s a guru who doesn’t mind putting in the hard work and hustle required to sell a crap-ton of books at a reasonable price; I respect him for not taking the lazy $2K frauduct launch route.” Alas, apparently I was mistaken. Tony Robbins. Brian Tracy. Now David Bach. The list of the fallen continues…

    3. @Jack,

      For 25 minutes their mouths were flapping, yet they managed to not say anything at all.

      Actually, they did manage to say the word “pessississm” whatever that is, and they gave us some gems like “get a real estate agent” and “buy low and sell high.” Amazing stuff that you have already heard on TV shows like “Flip this house” or whatever other real estate shows are on cable TV.

  2. Well, good heavens, this Dean fella sure is a piece of work. And by work, I mean SHIT. What kind of jackass would send an email out trying to get people to do something for him and calling them “fuckers?”

    “I am still stuck giving you fu$#ers killer ass prizes”

    I may be older than dirt but I know that $ is really a C and that # is really a K! That’s fuckers! You can’t hide cuss words from Madge Crikey!

    Well, he was being arrogant and disrespectful right there, but truth be told, those bastards are fuckers, just the same as he is! Mr. Crikey just agreed and said, “yep, fuckers, every one of them.”

    1. @Madge Crikey,

      LOL, oh you kill me, Madge! And I’m “older than dirt” too, but I don’t feel it (except all those aches and pains everywhere, but it could always be worse!), and hope I ain’t “hitting” the dirt any time soon!

      :) :) :)

    2. @Madge Crikey,
      Sadly, that is the most honest part of the letter.
      Anyone who buys this will be taking it in the ass, not my idea of a prize but it takes all kinds I guess

    1. @Scriobh, How can it be permanent again?

      I guess the word Smurf is just that badass.

      It’s like Final Destination 5…apparently it wasn’t that final.

  3. Everyone sign into his success-a-thon chat and say ..

    “nubbin”

    … until you get booted.

    I signed in as myself … but for some reason I wasn’t welcomed.

    1. @SD,

      Is there a link to the success a thon chat?

      I just want to see nubbin pop up a couple hundred times … nubbin … what a great word!

        1. @SD,

          Yeah they booted me :(

          It was entertaining for about 10 minutes.

          I got at least 10 nubbins before the boot.

        2. My research promptly determined that Dean doesn’t much like the link to this blog post typed into his chat window, for some reason.

          1. @Uncle Ralph,

            just use a “tiny” link….they will never know until it is too late…link directly to one of the two Graziosi stories.

            1. @_cartman_,

              I tried that and their system is set up to turn all links immediately into ***** … they had thought that one through already.

            2. @RT,

              Ahh okay…I assumed the statement “doesn’t much like the link to this blog post” indicated they allowed links and were filtering [[or removing]] saltydroid.info links.

  4. Got this email from support@frankkernhelpdesk.com as Frank was appearing LIVE with PMI’s Dean Graziosi …

    “People have been using “doom and gloom” to
    sell stuff forever …and it usually pisses me off.

    The reason why I’m against it is because typically,
    the “impending doom” is completely made up
    by people trying to sell stuff.

    And that’s not cool because they are deliberately
    hurting people in order to make money.

    How?

    Because FEAR = PAIN … and when they create
    fear in people (and thus cause them pain) based
    on totally exaggerated half-truths, well …they’re
    just being assholes.

    Especially if they’re doing it just to make a buck.

    THIS IS DIFFERENT:

    Ryan Deiss just released a very controversial
    document …”

    Words fail.

    1. @SD, wouldn’t that email from Frank Kern be considered ‘marketing out loud’?

      Hey, IM Crowd… Frank’s giving away the content he usually reserves for his ultra-platinum-mega-sapphire clients… for free!! … All you have to do is change one little bit, and you see his EXACT business model…

      “Because FEAR = PAIN … and when they create
      fear in people (and thus cause them pain) based
      on totally exaggerated half-truths, well …they’re
      just being — Members of the syndicate”

  5. @Jack, Is this Bach in the White shirt?

    Seems yet another smart ass, know-all with a peado mouth. I’m sure some of you know what I mean. Dont think too hard, all peados just seem to have a weird shaped mouth. Just an observation.

    BTW does Eben “Deconstructorizerer” Pagan have anything to do with this slick Dean Graz-
    bollox, as I believe he was in real estate?

    Sent from ip

  6. I couldn’t watch past the “it’s never been this easy to make money in real estate.” What an idiot… and what a couple of crooks.

  7. I wonder who would win a street fight:

    John Beck backed up by MOA and Strategic Financial or Dean Graziosi backed up by PMI and The Tax Club

  8. Well… Well… Well…

    Looks like the syndicate is having a bit of problems… at least over in John Reese’s neck of the dark forest… check out this little diddy of an email I got earlier… Looks like opportunity.com (known internally as unicorn central) is shutting down… Awww… what a pity, and it was providing such a valuable service, but poor old John Reese with all his successes caint find time to simply keep a site which sells you the opportunity to find up-to-date affiliate programs… up to date!

    Ha!

    ****

    Hey all,

    Just wanted everyone to know that we’ve decided to shutdown Opportunity.com.
    It was great for awhile as a directory for finding all sorts of affiliate programs, but
    ultimately that information changed so rapidly that it was impossible for our staff
    to monitor and keep up with the changes — leaving much of the directory out-dated
    at times.

    None of our customers have been billed for many months even, though, we’ve
    continue to allow everyone to access the site because of this issue. And now we’ve
    decided to finally just shut the service down rather than fighting this “quickly outdated”
    information issue.

    Thank you for everyone that was a member of the service, and we hope you got
    a lot out of it when thousands of the affiliate programs WERE up-to-date; unfortunately,
    we couldn’t control when programs closed or changed their information.

    Rest assured that you will not be billed again and the past few months were free
    of charge. If you have any questions, please contact Mercy Sanchez in our
    Customer Support department at mercy@marketingsecrets.com.

    Yours For Online Profits,

    John Reese

    1. @How Does This Happen?,

      “but
      ultimately that information changed so rapidly that it was impossible for our staff to monitor and keep up with the changes”

      It’s the super-star business guru-man who doesn’t know how to manage a business where things change quickly such as any real business in the entire universe

    2. @How Does This Happen?,

      Sell your f’kin Lamborghini then Reese and put more bodies onto the cause. Idiot!

      Do they even know how to run a business these muppets?

    3. @How Does This Happen?,

      I think the only “mercy” he needs is to learn that one of the best “marketing secrets” is to use proper grammer, spelling, and punctuation!

  9. If this product is crap, then the people marketing it to their lists and pulling out all of the stops with giveaways and webinars in order to get them to buy $1,997 worth of crap should be held accountable too.

    1. @Blah, They should also be held accountable not just for a crap product, but for any FALSE or EXAGGERATED CLAIMS made to induce those sales as well. The FTC looks at those things and goes a step further: they evaluate “What would the average person expect,” which means they are on the hook for everything they do applied to customer expectations.

  10. So – Brendon Burchard is #2 on Dean’s affiliate list according to this post.

    Burchard is also the guy promoting himself as a #1 New York Times Best Seller for his book Millionaire Messenger.

    But here are the inconvenient truthinessess:

    March 27, 2011: Millionaire Messenger debuts at #1 on NYT Bestseller for … “Paperback Advice & Misc.” (I must have missed the hardback release) :)

    Also in the top-10:

    THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, by Gary Chapman.
    WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING, by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel. CRAZY LOVE, by Francis Chan with Danae Yankoski.
    THE HAPPINESS PROJECT, by Gretchen Rubin.
    THE EAT THIS, NOT THAT! NO-DIET DIET, David Zinczenko with Matt Goulding.
    RADICAL, by David Platt.
    5 VERY GOOD REASONS TO PUNCH A DOLPHIN IN THE MOUTH, by The Oatmeal.
    THE NEW ATKINS FOR A NEW YOU, by Eric C. Westman, Stephen D. Phinney and Jeff S. Volek.
    MADE TO CRAVE, by Lysa TerKeurst.

    April 3, 2011: Millionaire Messenger is still #1!!!!! for … “Paperback Advice & Misc.”

    Also in the top-10:
    THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, by Gary Chapman.
    THE HAPPINESS PROJECT, by Gretchen Rubin.
    WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING, by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel.
    CRAZY LOVE, by Francis Chan with Danae Yankoski.
    FOOD NETWORK MAGAZINE GREAT EASY MEALS, by the Food Network Magazine staff.
    5 VERY GOOD REASONS TO PUNCH A DOLPHIN IN THE MOUTH, by The Oatmeal. EVERYONE LOVES YOU WHEN YOU’RE DEAD, by Neil Strauss.
    THE EAT THIS, NOT THAT! NO-DIET DIET, David Zinczenko with Matt Goulding.
    THE KIND DIET by Alicia Silverstone.

    April 10, 2011: Millionaire Messenger is still # … oopsy – not in top-10 for … “Paperback Advice & Misc.”

    However these are in the top-10:

    NOW EAT THIS! DIET, by Rocco DiSpirito.
    THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, by Gary Chapman.
    THE HAPPINESS PROJECT, by Gretchen Rubin.
    WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING, by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel.
    CRAZY LOVE, by Francis Chan with Danae Yankoski.
    FOOD NETWORK MAGAZINE GREAT EASY MEALS, by the Food Network Magazine staff.
    RADICAL, by David Platt.
    MARTHA STEWART’S NEW PIES AND TARTS, by the Martha Stewart Living staff.
    NOW EAT THIS!, by Rocco DiSpirito.
    EVERYONE LOVES YOU WHEN YOU’RE DEAD, by Neil Strauss.

    Hmmm…Brendon Burchard’s Millionaire Messenger went from #1 and #1 to not in the top-10??

    There are no marketing gimmicks here, folks – Brendon said it himself in his Total Product Blueprint Launch that he was #1 (paraphrase) because people read it and then started telling their friends about it.

    So, why the abrupt halt, Brendon?? Did God deliver a Tower of Babel on your ass and your readers could no longer speak-y the same language and recommend your book?

    Very strange how the usual suspects in that top-10 stayed relatively stable, yet you were from #1 #1 to … not top 10???

    I seem to remember you giving the book away for free + some nominal (less than $10 shipping and handling)…

    ;)

    1. Burchard scored a MASSIVE publishing deal out of that…

      Here’s how it played out…

      He created Millionaire Messenger a few months before launching his Total Product Blueprint product. He then called around to his mates (Kern, Johnson, Walker, Pagan, etc) and told then if they sell his book their list, all of those leads would be pre-cookied for his upcoming launch.

      Ok, not wrong so far…

      Then when he released the product and the hype machine kicked into gear MANY of those people who were pre-cookied bought the product because Burchard had them on his list or OTHER people mailed them about it and they bought. As they were pre-cookied to Burchard’s book friends they all got the commission without having to do really anything.

      If the person who bought the product wanted to buy it from someone else (bonus or they offered better unicorns) then the customer had to send an email to Burchard’s people asking for the change. That’s a pretty high barrier.

      In the end, they all got a lots of commissions they probably didn’t deserve and Burchard got a big fat ass book deal.

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