Professional Marketing International

Death of a Tax Club

Funny story :: one of Utah’s largest boiler rooms … is located in New York City. That’s the end of the funny part of the story :: I hope you laughed your ass off … because the rest of it is fucking terrible.
The Tax Club :: Earning more than your trust
Or as the FTC :: and the New York […]

Utah’s Shit in a Box

This fucking freak is gonna eat your granny :: hard … not in the sexy teen vampire way … that plus the Utah Arts Festival in this week’s Salt Lake City Weekly.

Phone Predators is the third of three Eric Peterson articles about how the “this is the place” founded by Brigham Young {for his multitudinous wives} has become “the place” for flagrant […]

Swallow Hard

Utah’s Deputy Chief Attorney General :: John Swallow :: wants to replace Mark Shurtleff as the biggest fucking disgrace in the American legal profession … and as the chief legal representative of Utah’s rotting fraud vortex.

Of course the Attorney General is the state’s top legal enforcer :: tasked with prosecuting criminals rather than representing them … but that was […]

Boiled Gnome

You know I hate me some gnomes :: the hats :: the tiny dumb dancing :: the chirp chirp singing … and of course the fucking scamming. Maybe it’s not fair to judge all gnomes based on my limited experience with them :: but so what … I don’t have to be fair to gnomes. Fuck you gnomes :: […]

But Death and Tax Clubs

The Tax Club just wants to help people … it’s all about helping. That’s why The Tax Club CEO Michael Savage went on the Fox & Friends to offer up his fancy inauguration tickets to river pilot Sully Sullenberger. It was quite a touching moment of selfless self-promotion.

Paying your taxes can be complicated :: especially when your fake business […]

The Greatest Douche in the World

I want to tell you about The Greatest Vitamin in the World!!

Well :: I mean :: I don’t wanna tell you about the vitamins of course :: because you can just go buy some of those down at the store for like five bucks or whatever. No :: I’m talking about the opportunity to sell people on the opportunity to sell […]

The Shit Scale

Remember how horrible that scamming real Debbie audio was?


OMFG even.

It was like a 6.66 on the Shit Scale :: one of the highest SS-numbers ever registered on the fake robot blog.

The Shit Scale is a very scientific {trust me} measure of something’s FUCKING TRUTH in relation to the hype-truth / cult-truth / lie-truth to which it relates. High Shit Scale […]

Scamming Two Debbies

My fake secretary Debbie is quite susceptible to scams.

D-bags often call headquarters looking for an opportunity to suck-up to me and my divine stylings in authorship :: but I usually can’t take their calls {because fucking idiots are boring} … and they end up selling Debbie on some blueprint to international bestselling good fortune instead.

I call her names :: like ding-dong and bat-brain :: […]

Band of Bothers

Utah based Professional Marketing International is a proud member of the Alliance for Lifelong Learning. According to The Alliance …

“Consumers can be assured that Members of the Alliance for Lifelong Learning maintain the highest level of integrity; employ experienced qualified instructors, coaches, and mentors; and follow strict standards and practices.”

Utah’s stellar Attorney General Mark Shurtleff helped to set-up The […]

Dean Graziosi Rocks the Bottom

Dean Graziosi thinks anytime is a good time to sell you on the idea that now is the right time to make an unjustifiable fortune flipping real estate. It’s a great opportunity for stay-at-home moms and people on disability to get out there and take action … I guess.

You know what they say about real estate … it only goes up. […]