The Frank Kern Christmas Special

Merry Christmas Motherfuckers!

I wrote you a poem …

Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the house,

NO … I didn’t!

Fuck that :: I don’t write you poems. And this isn’t the homemade crafts store either :: so don’t ask me where the fake pine cones are.

Mike Koenigs was about to launch a frauduct :: so he and his Rocket went to see The Irwin. The Boss was also in attendance :: looking for opportunities to lick up Frank’s seed and/or slobber. Trey Smith was there too :: doing the same :: but with more of a twang.

Koenigs is so enamored with Frank’s fake wisdom that he records the meeting :: AND types notes. Why do both? Why do either?

I’d ask Mike those questions if I gave a crap about his answers … but I don’t.

The recording was sent to me anonymously by someone who loves freedom and going to heaven.

Today’s Christmas Eve smack down is just part one of an [insert number] part series based on this most elucidating conversation. All Frank Kern and his Syndicate are able to dictate is :: what to sell :: and what to sell it for. No big dealz {except for the crime of it}.

But today’s festive video focuses on ..

• getting false testimonials

• staging false testimonials

• giving misleading disclaimers regarding your false testimonials

• masturbating on people who gave you false testimonials {as a team}

No rest {one hopes!} for the wicked.

>> bleep bloop

UPDATE :: the full audios are avialable … here.