The StomperNet Letters {a fake robot family tradition} are like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are written by evil stinking demons. But they aren’t like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are non-literary and authored by ignorant fucking idiots.
Sometimes The StomperNet Letters are about Mark Shurtleff and {in vain} sucking up to The Droid. But usually they are about how StomperNet started not paying its bills :: and then never stopped not paying its bills. It’s just like a real business … except for not.
Per the usual :: the …

I hope you enjoyed StomperNet LIVE 11 :: it was the best LIVE event ever! Because it was canceled six days before it was scheduled to happen.
{tears of infinite sadness}
Gosh :: I’m going to miss printing incredibly lame StomperNet emails … it’s like a fake robot family tradition.

Hello ,
We know how much you were looking forward to StomperNet LIVE 11 next week in Phoenix. But regrettably and due to circumstances beyond our control we are canceling StomperNet LIVE 11 and the SEO Pro Bonus Days in Phoenix next week June 21-25, 2011.
We …

Two lawyers walk into a bar ::
Lawyer 1:  Let’s call The Salty Droid and –
Lawyer 2: Thanks for the beer, see you around {sound of saloon door swinging on its hinges}.
Lawyers :: you see :: have an aversion to fake robots … and risks … and technologies more complicated than blackberries {the fruit} … and things that can’t be classified into check-box forms and filed alphabetically.
So when lawyers do call in on the fake robot hotline :: they’re wanting favors not troubles :: and they usually start off just like …

Fake Robot on trial duty.
Syndicate so happy.
Something must be done.
Solution = Short Shots™
Still fucking mean … but short.
Still fucking damaging … but short {like a gnome}.
The full BrAndy Jenkins StomperNet X audio :: now with 1000% more nauseating panting. It’s a $2,997 perceived value :: yours free just for giving up 30 minutes that you’ll never get back …
BrAndy Bad Breaths
Breaths Bad Brandy
… be sure to return for this Thursday’s Syndicate Short Shot :: under 100 words :: guaranteed widespread pant shitting …
>> bleep bloop

StomperNet is {and always was} failing … weekend edition.
Before Kim and Sandy :: there was Brad and Andy.
They broke up.
The break up was messy :: and full of santorum :: but they put on brave and loving public faces … because they were both in the same French for trade union.
It’s almost 9/9/09 :: Brad is going to relaunch StomperNet because “perpetually declining customer base” turns out to be a nose snortingly bad business strategy. It’s going to be an affiliate launch :: a Syndicate launch :: but StomperNet doesn’t pay affiliates …

Sometimes I write the posts around here :: and sometimes Brad Fallon’s stupid little girlfriend {and StomperNet testimoanializer} Julie Swatek writes the posts …
… and by “sometimes” I mean today :: and then never again …

From: Julie Swatek
Sent: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 2:01 PM
To: StomperNetMod
Subject: [SNMod] Status of Moderator Pay
Hi everyone!
I know you are anxiously awaiting your checks. I wish I could tell you they were on their way. They are not.
Maybe you are aware, maybe you are not, but StomperNet is in trouble. It’s been in turnaround mode for …

Kajabi Scam Fraud Review Sucks Refund.
Dot com.
I should do a review of The Syndicate’s latest frauduct Kajabi :: for the good of the “community” and the “industry” … ready :: set :: go!
{beginReview}
1. Kajabi is a scam.  Hello?  Duh!
2. Why in the name of fucks fuck would you put your business data on servers owned by Andy Jenkins? Forget about him misusing it :: maybe he’ll make it public to the entire web and it will end up with me! Is that what you want? You see what a freak …

{smoke still clearing}
Hi again!
So badguys … how you like me now?
The Internet Marketing Syndicate post {plus comments} currently has a word count of 54,000. The first 1500 words are fucking priceless {natch!}. The quality of the remaining 52,500 is … let’s say … highly variable. So :: for the second time :: the comments are the post.
Congratulations on the epic honor of making the cut … your fake check is in the mail {no it isn’t!}.
@Cosmic Connie ::

“Good work, SD. You have illuminated the apparent business model not only for …

Did you hear that Brad Fallon and Andy Jenkins are mega-fucking-douche-bags? Yep! You did. You’re welcome.  And it wasn’t just one or two of you now was it?  Oh no … it was fuck near all of you.  The hush curtains are coming down … and the shit heads have NO IDEA what to do about it.  Rolling on ……..
1.  Brad and Andy are henceforth “BrAndy” :: cause they hate each other :: so that shit is funny.
2.  That photo is unaltered {by me} :: and not …

Sometimes cornucopias come stuffed with all kinds of lame ass fruits and yams and shit :: and no one is very interested.  The lame-a-tude of the cornucopia killed the still life as an art form :: a tragic fucking loss that we all still mourn.  But cornucopias may well experience a renaissance if more people stuff them full of delicious insider info about disgusting pig scammers.  I’ve just used cornucopia in four str8 sentences :: don’t like it? :: suck it!
The Droid has been smacking the crap out of StomperNet …