Frank Kern :: Pissy Plotless Plotting
The Salty Droid has caused the alarms to sound at d-bag headquarters. The alarm system is old and rickety :: and it’s never been sounded before :: so the sound is tinny and inconsistent :: reminiscent of a gut-shot Christmas Clydesdale bleating out its last. It’s like the tell-tale heart after a couple years of heavy crack use {side of meth}. It’s enough to make a “man” make mistakes :: many many mistakes :: stupider and stupider mistakes. Fucking mistakes :: that’s all you assholes have shown me so far :: it’s not very intimidating.
It’s no secret that the lunatic monkey brigade has been fixated on finding {and destroying} The Salty Droid for many months. But finding me proved to be a huge disappointment :: because {oh my great fucking god} I was telling the truth the whole time. That flies in the face of much silly silly talk by many over confident fools. They weren’t just wrong about who I was :: they were wrong in the face of the truth on a plate. I told them who I was … and what I was doing … but they chose to believe everything but. It pretty much sums up most of their lives.
I didn’t want to tell this story :: it’s too ugly to be fun. But I’m compelled … so fuck it here goes.
For the past several months Frank Kern and Andy Jenkins have been cynically manipulating Karin Hiebert to try and get information about me … or to try and get some control over me … or whatever the hell.
Karin has been a commenter on this blog for a long time {in Internet years}. Her first comment {on a post where I predict the future .. suck on that numerology!} was on April 2. Over those months she has been caught up in much shenanigans :: and twice {uno :: dos} ended up being a part of the story.
Karin also had a tendency to say things like this in the comments …
“(Might be time for a chit chat My Sweets…it’s been a while…talk soon!)
Hugs!”
“… when you hang with people long enough you start sounding alike and taking on their mannerisms…sometimes even their accents.”
“Friends are friends, are friends~ it is just the way it is!”
“{Oh, Jason I wanted to say that the “Pinky Swear and you keeping your promise” meant a lot!} Luv ya Babe!”
… that’s a stiff glass of familiarity. I warned against this BS repeatedly :: as she mentioned herself in another comment …
“To set the record straight, Salty told me not to stand to close to him…(he was protecting me back then) it was the best advice I never took! (I ain’t sceered!)”
But it was never just about being brave :: as I told Karin May 11 via email …
“Also, it’s likely a comfort for them to think that I’m somehow related to you. Their only hope is that I’m some insider … and when they figure out who I am … it will discredit me as a scammer and hypocrite who is pretending to be moral to attract business … and that will be that … the end of me. Like, for instance {no offense} if I was you … or someone like you …”
Lo and fucking behold :: that’s exactly what they did. They allowed themselves to believe that they could gain some small measure of control over the situation by using Karin as a proxy. A much :: much :: less intimidating proxy. Karin has received MANY freaky late night phone calls about how The Droid should shut his pie hole :: The Droid has received ZERO. Bullying Karin is somewhat satisfying :: Bullying The Droid is terrifying to the point of impossibility.
This September Karin went to a fund raising event for PAVE and The Angela Shelton Foundation :: ostensibly to do hair. A not coincidentally short time later :: Karin receives an email from IM’s main man Frank Kern! OMG Frank! He’s such a great guy … let me lick him! {whatevs! sheep!}
Frank opens like this ::
“Hi Karin,
Hope you’re well.
I’ve read your blog posts about being a survivor of abuse and I was wondering if you’d help me.”
He needs a recommendation for a woman’s charity he can donate to :: Google hasn’t been helpful :: and he just happened to remember that Karin {the supposed BFF of the anti-christ} is an abuse victim. Frank proceeded to explain why he’s got such an interest in the cause :: giving WAY too many specific details about horrible things that have occurred to members of his own family. Whether the stories are true or not :: it was a completely inappropriate conversation for for an “introduction” email. I felt icky all over after reading it … and I’m not going to reprint it for the same reason. Let’s just say that it was grossly manipulative :: and leave it at that. Karin has Angela Shelton and her “celebrity” hair on the brain :: and recommends Kern give her the money. Frank publicly claims to make a large donation to Shelton.
Meanwhile :: Frank and Andy start talking to Karin about iWorks :: and how they are the “real scammers” I should be going after. You know :: no pressure :: they’re just sayin. Andy tells Karin he needs to speak with me. I decline … a couple of times … because I don’t deal through proxies. I can’t understand his motivations for approaching Karin first :: my email is out there … and I’ve already responded to enough “gurus” for Andy to know exactly how to reach me. Andy and I have an email conversation :: and I win. I could have strung him along and made him say all sorts of terrible stuff about Brad :: but there are lots of people willing to say terrible stuff about Brad {because he’s a massive bastard} :: and Andy’s completely disingenuous tone irritates me. So I snarked the conversation to a close. A few short minutes after I pushed send on the final message :: Andy forwarded the whole email chain to Karin in indignation. WHAT THE HELL?? Why would he do that?
Karin also thinks it’s strange that Andy forwarded the email chain :: and she tells me about Kern and Shelton :: and about how they’ve already been pushing the iWorks links on her. Ah … now shit makes sense. I suggest it’s highly probable that Kern and Shelton had been acquainted before Karin “introduced” them :: and that the mere fact that Kern has been calling her is highly suspicious. They don’t really care about her :: they are just angling at me {poorly}. But Karin was excited about the attention {especially from Kern} :: which is what makes this tactic so hurtful :: and I could tell that my message of painful truth wasn’t quite getting through to her. But I published Andy’s email :: which I felt made it pretty clear what I thought about that tactic … and nicely illustrated just how ineffective it was. Game over me thinks.
But alas :: Karin keeps talking to Kern. She tells me that he’s an okay guy {no he isn’t} :: and that maybe they are becoming friends {seriously doubt that}. Then this in my comments on Dec 10 ::
“Thank you to my friends HERE and to friends like Mike Young, Jason M. Jones and Frank Kern… just to name a FEW cool people who have YET to prove me wrong in my choosing of this small circle of friends…”
OMG! I’m in the same sentence as Frank Fucking Kern?!? You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s a fake testimonial for Frank Kern on my blog! What in the crap? Apoplectic Android!!
On Friday I learned :: from Karin :: that she has received a substantial amount of cash from Kern over the last couple of months. Lump sum PayPal transfers. On the one hand :: Karin no doubt needs the money. On the other hand :: Yuck!
{end investigation}
Now I don’t care what happened. I WILL NOT be associated … in any way … with cash transfers from the bad guys. It’s impossible. The FIRST TIME I say “pay up and I won’t write” :: I FUCKING LOSE. Then I’m just as bad as them :: or worse :: because I’m cloaking myself with righteousness. People who fight for ethics :: have to first have ethics. Way above average ethics. Holy shit everyone is watching me ethics. Money transfers and cryptic comments about “the truth coming out” fall well short of those standards.
So for the record …
1. I never demand :: and won’t take :: money from badguys {unless I sue them}.
2. Karin doesn’t :: didn’t :: and won’t ever speak for me. Had I known about the money transfers … I wouldn’t have allowed many of her comments over the past couple months.
3. Karin’s relationship with me was never of enough substance to justify these espionage attempts. She didn’t know anything :: and never had any influence over me. I suspect that she just played you while you were trying to play her {which I do find somewhat amusing}.
4. As of now :: Karin has no relationship to me whatsoever.
I’m just a lone soldier :: and a sad robot.
>> bleep bloop










Now you’re just flattering yourself.
I can feel the top tier of your readership shaking their heads.
[Reply]
Neil Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 am
Top tier??
What a bizarre comment to make.
I assume that you include yourself in this mystical grouping.
What kind of pompous arse would group themselves above others, regarding blog reading?
[Reply]
.nate Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I would explain it to you, but it would be more offensive than what you have already pointed to.
Your assumption that it was regarding “blog reading” is incorrect.
Salty knows what I’m talking about and the comment was directed at him, so the communication was successful.
[Reply]
Anonymous Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I don’t think I could stay awake long enough for you to explain it to me. Narcolepsy’s a blessing sometimes.
If you are communicating directly with “Salty” why not just email him, and spare us/me the, cards close to your chest, talking in riddles, cool as fuck act.
Anyways – Happy “Holidays” everyone. Hope your appointed seasonal gift vendor is good to you all.
You as well @.nate
[Reply]
.nate Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Nah, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. I’m a terrible actor.
Happy Holidays to you and yours, as well.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
@.nate
Whoever that comment was directed at :: it was inaccurate. They scheme disgustingly {and constantly} against my silly jokes :: and they are willing to use and abuse obviously fragile people in the process.
Every mention of myself on this blog has been by compulsion not choice .. so “self flattery” is a particularly un-apt description of events.
[Reply]
.nate Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:47 pm
We’ve sorted this out between us already. And yes, your stand is very clear without additional explanation.
We can all move forward now. :)
[Reply]
Hmmm – how ironic: “Truth and lies exposed dot com”.
[Reply]
I think it’s great and all that Mr. Salty Droid wants to call out people that are being disingenuous scammers that are just out there making the internet a shitty place with a bunch of spam, forced continuity, shady practices, etc…
However, it kills credibility among more informed readers – and in my opinion is a disservice to the general less-informed public in general – when you make blanket statements like “Goodbye Internet Marketing”. This whole blanket attitude that Internet Marketing in itself is the devil, is really just sending the wrong message.
If you’re truly trying to bring ethics to the forefront here, then I’d assume your intent is to target people that are using effective marketing techniques (copywriting, persuasion, their persona or fake persona *cough Kern*, fake testimonials, etc…) to invoke a buying reaction, and then deliver what is more or less garbage content that does the buyer no good.
The reality is though, many people compile information that does work – and does help people to get the result they want saving them research time – and they charge money for this. What’s wrong with this? When you make a blanket negative attitude towards “Internet Marketers”, this is really bad in the eyes of the informed. The fact that you have a firm grasp on creating intellectual prose only amplifies the influence you have on the uninformed, which I feel is unfortunate.
When you think about it though, there are many abuses of marketing and persuasion in everyday life. You see in every form of media, not just internet marketing. The TV itself is filled with GARBAGE COMMERCIALS that have you call an 800 number and get you on some nasty rebill. Yes, the internet is filled with assholes trying to make a quick buck with very manipulative persuasion techniques, littering the place with garbage spam. Yes, probably less than 10% of the “Internet Marketers” would deserve to stay if there was a grand purge of the undeserving that really aren’t providing anything of value.
I just feel it’s unfortunate that there’s not more objectivity in your writing. It’s like a racist saying “all *INSERT RACE HERE* are bad”, when the reality is that every group of people has their scumbags. You’re giving off this absolutist vibe that’s turning away a lot of intellectual readers in my opinion, and it’s becoming like watching some boring old Rebuplican vs. Democrat with us or against us bullshit.
My 2 cents. Take it for what it’s worth.
[Reply]
Myrra Reply:
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
You yourself say that probably less than 10% of “Internet Marketers” would deserve to stay if there was a grand purge. That doesn’t really help your self-interested argument here. Any industry where less than 10% of practitioners are legitimate is an industry that might as well be put down (ya, I’m looking at you Congress). And any industry that is so easily used by sick fucks for their own corrupted purposes has something seriously wrong with it – good bye and good riddance. Rather than grieving it up with Salty, why don’t you focus on fixing the problems with your chosen career field so that “Internet Marketing” stops being synonymous with “Scamming Huckster Dirtbags”. If you are an internet marketer, tell thieving bastards like Frank Kern to go put their balls in a paper shredder. Seems to me like everyone out there is all too eager to give Frank and his ilk a reach around rather than call his bullshit.
P.S. There is no such thing as an “intellectual reader” who thinks Salty should be more fair and balanced in his Internet Marketing attacks. Me thinks you may fail to grasp the point of this site…
[Reply]
IMer Reply:
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
That’s not about industry, that’s about, so to speak, the buying culture and about how buyers implement the knowledge. The majority of those who buy another “make $xxx,xxx.xx in a week” product are just addicts, who need another dose. And people like Kern and the crowd serve them that dose for a huge price. These buyers will never implement anything inside the course (no matter, if the course is solid or not).
I do not support outright scammers like Belcher or Kilstein, but peeps like Kern, Walker, Reese have some decent info in their courses, as I’ve watched lots of them. But the price can be justified only if their courses were bought by successful marketers who can leverage that knowledge. For newbies that’s a total waste of money. The bad thing that most of IM “gurus” seem not to care. They just tell through their sales pages: “This pill is what you need to get high. Give me your money now.”
As for Salty’s attitude to IM, I can’t say he’s totally against the very idea of Internet Marketing (correct me, Salty, if I’m wrong), as it’s not only “make-money-online” niche that IM is about. But by doing what he does, Salty “tells” me that honesty and integrity is the best weapon to be used to win in the Internet Marketing battle.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
@IMer
I mostly agree with you … but I disagree about Kern, Walker, and Reese. If the prices are non-market … then the value of the product is moot. If the world price of oranges gets fixed at 20% above the market price via sham tactics and collusion … then the world is being victimized … even if the oranges are still yummy.
@Hmmm
I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I defend the idea of Internet Marketing … and the many good people who are a part of it … all the time. I never said “Goodbye Internet Marketing” on this post … or any other post.
I just don’t like all the predator bullshit :: and I’m not alone.
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
“These buyers will never implement anything inside the course (no matter, if the course is solid or not).”
This is another variation of “90% of the people who buy the course don’t use the product” post. The same old rhetoric, used to explain the higher then average failure rates in the “industry”.
The “excuse”, everyone buys no one uses , sounds a lot better then a 90%+ failure rate (more like a 99%+ failure rate). And the 1% who don’t “fail”, use “creative” tactics to sell the “truth”.
I have already dissected Maria A. Andros “truths” to shreds, showing proof, after undeniable proof how deceptive she is. Also, noone put words in her mouth, and she stated publicly who her mentors are; Kilstein (who’s ass she almost licked clean with the praise to him), Karganilla, Davis, Filsaime, Kern, Pagan, Schefren, Belcher, Koenig, everyone of those clowns were happy to accept the “gurufication” of themselves (to further their “carears”) even if her success was completely fabricated. Every word out of her mouth is a lie, and as she stated over and over again…she owes all her “success” to her “mentors”.
Granted she may emulate her mentors poorly, but the fact is she does emulate them….which means that as she is…so they are (like people naturally gravitating towards each other because of common interests, aka new age law of attraction)….and none have “cut” the ties (so to speak) to indicate they have any honesty or integrity and choose not to be ASSociated with such a blatant liar, which indicates (even if only by inference) they are in the same boat.
More telling is the steps they attempted to take to silence Salty, that in itself speaks greater volumes then your non verifiable claim.
So give that “people buy but don’t use rhetoric a rest” nobody here is falling for it. Actions (and silences) speak louder then empty words. EOM.
[Reply]
IMer Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 2:04 am
@_cartman_
Why non-verifiable? I told that from my own experience. I know two simple tactics that have been taught through paid products (I know 2 popular related Clickbank products) and free forums and blogs for more than a year and a half. And yet I managed to start making $30+ a day within a week after I started using one of them a couple of weeks ago. I know that is not a lot, but considering the fact that I spent only a week and for the majority of newbies that’s pretty good money, that’s a good start for that particular site. That’s a tactic that at least a couple of thousand people know about. And the competition there is still little to none.
Another tactic I mentioned is not easy to make money from now, but it was 6-8 months ago when it was discussed everywhere by everyone.
Why? Why people do not implement what they know? I think partly because they have too much knowledge and have no time and/or money to implement everything they know (my case now) and partly because they give up when they do not see immediate results (once that was my case too).
I can tell that the majority of $77-97 Clickbank products related to “make money online” niche have enough information to get people started in Internet marketing (I’d name a couple of them, but I don’t want to get Salty angry at me :) ), but buyers have to work a lot to succeed.
There are also decent marketers (not very famous) that sell solid products in $100-1500 range but you need your own product, or a subscriber list, or a successful site, or ten thousands of dollars or so to implement that knowledge, so those products are definitely not for newbies.
There are overpriced “newbie-proof” Kern’s, Schwartz’s, Walker’s, Johnson’s and the crowd products that have some good info, but that info either can be found in cheaper products, or cannot be implemented by newbies, or should be taught in a form of a private consultation to justify the price.
And there are scammers in every price group like Kilstein, Chia, Belcher, and so on. They should be avoided by everyone.
But the thing is that nowadays free blogs and forums (I’ve read a lot of posts and threads where people tell how they manage to earn $100-200 a day in 3-6 months and reveal everything they do) have more than enough information for people to start making money online if they really want to, but they continue to spend millions of dollars each month to get a “magic pill” from another “dream dealer” — a pill that can be found for free elsewhere.
That’s why I believe that people “will never implement anything inside the course (no matter, if the course is solid or not).”
[Reply]
Karin’s posts always annoyed me. Every post she made always went back to her and her life no matter what the subject was. She has the same type of ego as those idiot IM’ers.
Sit on it Potsy. Sheesh. Get over yourself.
Karin, I have news for you… none of us come to this blog to hear about you and your life’s story. It’s just blather. You’re just a small insignificant footnote.
Glad we won’t be tortured anymore by your off-topic posts of egotistical self-absorption. The way you tried to position yourself as someone who knows the big names in IM, (and by association is thus big in her own right)yet is not tainted was admirable.
You should join up with aloha arleen and maria andros… that’d be funny reality tv show of big useless egos.
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
You mean Maria A. Andros, “super star”? Despite her beautiful rock video (in that one video, “video series”), she is only remembered for her fake testiMOANials, her transparent attempts at deception, and her “ego”….. and no doubt….soon to be the maven of tennis….
“my tennis lesson was magical SO much fun and my instructor said I was amazing considering i havent played in ages & it was my 1st lesson :) 6:12 PM Dec 18th from web ” – Maria A. Andros
You pay this guy, what do you expect him to say?…imagine for a moment that he said to you….my blind german sheppard plays better…would you take another lesson?…my guess…not so much…
Speaking of Andros fake testiMOANials…has anyone noticed that Oliver Turner (aka Talamayan) who used to go under the handle oliver_turner on twitter(which had 64k followers…followers that allegedly made him $5-$10K/day) is now gone
http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:bLHKSbteT1AJ:https://twitter.com/Oliver_turner+twitter+oliver_turner&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ca&client=firefox-a
http://twitter.com/oliver_turner
http://twitterholic.com/oliver_turner
Just disappeared……and couple of weeks back he took down his twitter page….his “business” no longer in business (not that it ever was, but now not even the illusion of it is gone). I wonder who he is hiding from…
On a side note…I would like to shout out a thanks to the young lady for asking the “magical” (figure I should stick with the “magical” theme) question;
“@mariaandros Hi Maria, you mentioned that you made over $100,000 a year on ebay. Can I get your ebay username to confirm that?”
I am awaiting with bated breath (or perhaps that may be baited) to see if it will be answered (my guess…it won’t…it was never answered for me or any of my puppets…or the answer will be “it was deleted”)….should be interesting if she will pursue the question when the answer is not forthcoming…
[Reply]
Ryan Healy Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Adam Ginsberg is another ex-ebay seller who claims to have made $20 Million plus a year. He then left his ebay business (like Maria Andros) for Internet marketing.
I wonder why?
You don’t just leave a $20 Million a year business. You either sell it or hire somebody to manage it for you.
Anyway, seems like not all of Adam’s story lines up…
http://dogpuss.com/adam-ginsberg/
If you ever talk to a real ebay seller, you’ll find out what it’s really like. And it’s not as easy as it seems.
Gross revenue looks impressive; but net profits are usually very low, sometimes negative.
Ryan
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Good point you made about Ginsberg abandoning his business. I wonder if any of the “students” buying his ebay training program wonder about that themselves…He probably gives the standard….”I want to give back” line…The real issue with Ebay (or selling online), is sourcing products with enough margin to make a profit (competition is high and margins are tight…and most “wholesalers” and “dropshippers” which “normal” people have access to make their money through fees and their prices are far from wholesale (the biggest scam is DOBA…their prices are near and sometimes above big box retailers).
The funny thing about Andros…if you listen to her speak about ebay, she talks like she doesn’t have a clue (about something she claims to have done). I wish I could remember to quote her exactly, but to really appreciate it, it must be heard.
And while I am on the topic..
an Update…not a promising one..but one nonetheless
Maria went on twitter, ignored Lisa’s tweet, and answered others….Today lisa tweeted the same question and then asked what products she sold on Ebay….
While Andros did not respond, a mysterious twit (who retweets EVERYTHING Maria Tweets) did (the question is under whos direction, unless he did an @mariaandros search he wouldn’t even have known about the tweet from Lisa)…
RT @LisaRoarke: @mariaandros Lisa u 4 Real??? -HAHA… Maria Rocks, She’s a Top-Earner Everywhere, i dont think she needs to show proof! about 12 hours ago from TweetDeck
This fool “shaqir hussyin” peddles carbone crappy pro (and so did Andros…flooding youtube with dozens of the exact same video with different descriptions…time of the administrative feature I spoke of earlier), and who is front and center in Shaqir’s youtube subscriptions, but Dennis Kargorilla (original mentor to Andros..the one who made Andros Mentorly Retarded)…
http://www.aboutus.org/TeamAndros.com
[Reply]
Rezbi Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 10:25 am
I never trusted Ginsberg. I don’t know what it is, but something about him just says, ‘fraud… liar… etc.”
[Reply]
Salty Droid has always been honest and respectful of me. He has never made himself into a guru or a superior person towards me. He has always backed up what he said. On the other hand, I cannot say that for the others here. That is all I can go by.
[Reply]
I’m speechless and a little confused about this. I kinda feel like Karin and I are from the “old guard” from the way back days when you had a twitter account and were hosted on wordpress.com.
Are you ending, or did you end, your friendship with Karin?
[Reply]
SD Reply:
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
@Rafael :: I think “friendship” is a strangely meaningless word on the Internet.
I’m just saying :: explicitly :: I no longer speak to Karin privately. So there is no sense trying to approach me from that angle.
She is still welcome to comment here.
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I am here to give a hearty vote of support to the droid.
I am not only someone who admires his cause militant – and wholly supports it. I am also one of the good guys when it comes to above boards internet mktg.
I support the Droid 100% in his pursuit to cleanse the world and the webbertubes of charlatans.
No child of the Light need fear the droid. Now, scum bags and snake charmers… they should, indeed, fear the Droid.
[Reply]
Oh – and one more thing, Droid –
Don’t spend too much time or energy worrying about the commentariat trolls. Lots of waaaay damaged ppl out there.
[Reply]
Whatever Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
It’s interesting to me that whenever someone brings up a dissenting perspective…or even a question that IMPLIES a dissenting perspective (no matter how politely, rudely, intelligently, or stupidly), then the dissenter is dismissed as “damaged goods” (just like Enoch_balls), or they are “missing the point” or cryptically viewed as “one of them” (the marketers).
I’ve seen several commenters ask just what the fuck draws the line between the scammers and good IM’ers out there (as many people reading this blog are in the Internet marketing community, and would prefer to stay the hell off this blog). There have been some vague references to price point, other references to industry (the health/wellness and make-money community is especially disdained). But no real answer.
So Salty – I’m not damaged goods. And I’m not a fucking troll. I’m looking for you to clarify this issue, and would appreciate it if you could weigh in without being a total fucking asshole about it.
And fellow commenters – I could give two shits what your opinion is. Please don’t answer for Salty, as you don’t know his opinion. He doesn’t need a d-bag brigade speaking up for him – he seems to be perfectly capable of defending himself.
You say you’re an advocate for change – that’s great. Who the hell isn’t? Define what specific types of changes a marketer could take that would (in your opnion) raise the bar of integrity in this industry. And see if you can do it without using wording like “they need to stop doing X” – use verbiage that allows marketers to make proactive changes in how they do business.
You provide “how-to” info on making a proactive change, people will do it. You leave them to figure it out on their own, then your cause will always be dismissed as giving a voice to whiners, intellectual (but lower-middle class) snobs, and degenerates getting sweet revenge against the perceived “in-crowd” (because who doesn’t like seeing the popular high-school jock getting his ass kicked?)
[Reply]
Enoch_Balls Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
“Whatever” (if that is your real name) – I don’t know why you think i was referring to you.
I was, in actuality, speaking about she-who-cannot-be-named.
I dont know what the “in crowd” is.
As for Interactive Mktg – since you dont want my opinion about what can be done – and to a large extent has been accomplished in the the field since the early-mid 00s, then I wont give you any.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
@Whatever :: if you are waiting for me to issue regulations and standards … you are going to be waiting forever. I’m an attack dog sent to punish and exile the wicked :: not your Uncle and loving mentor.
I think it’s obvious what I’m writing about … but I’ve noticed that lots of you lame brains think you might be next on my list even though you meet NONE of my criteria. Ha! Good. Suck on it. Non-targets thinking a little bit harder about their actions is a positive externality.
But here are some hints ::
1. Don’t kill people.
2. Don’t ruin the lives of everyone you meet.
3. Don’t lie and break the law with the VAST FUCKING MAJORITY of your actions.
4. Don’t be such an obvious con that an above average 6th grader could call you out.
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:28 pm
He doesn’t need a d-bag brigade speaking up for him
I’m not speaking on behalf of the Droid when I say that the above line disqualifies you both as a person to engage in a conversation with as well as a person to buy anything from.
Treat any person like a potential customer. That’s my advice, and it is delivered to you for free.
[Reply]
X-Ray Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 4:45 am
Guess who is behind “Whatever”? It’s none other than John Reese (compare his writing style here to his email and blog posts) – Hi John, Does salty have you worried enough to ask for advice?
Are you just asking for yourself? Or are you asking for the entire group of slimebags known as “the syndicate”? You know, you, kern, walker, filsaime, johnson, deiss, fallon, jenkins, pagan, brunson – the entire sleezy cartel you are a member of.
Here, here for Salty! It brings a big smile to my face knowing your scared enough to be asking for guidelines to stay out of his cross-hairs. Here’s some advice… (for you and your fellow syndicate members) How about doing what’s right, moral, and ethical?
I know it’s a big leap from where you are now, but you can do it. Heck, you did a million in a day.
Salty, I am glad you are exposing these guys for who they are. And thanks for the heads-up on Kern.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
@X-Ray ::
Do you know that was Reese … or you are just guessing? It’s a pretty good guess I think.
“The Syndicate” huh? I can’t imagine what you’re talking about … of course … that is the name of a category on this blog. I wonder if there is a connection? I wonder if that would explain my targeting in a way that even Million Dollar Baby John Reese could understand?
If there is a syndicate :: I’ll make them three suggestions {free} …
1. Don’t call yourselves “The Syndicate” … because that is ridiculously stupid … try choosing a name that doesn’t define the crime for the jury.
2. Make sure that from 2006 – 2008 you aren’t constantly bragging about it like you’ve fucking accomplished something. Cause if you do :: then in 2009 an amazing little robot might accidentally stumble on your BS and change his life around in order to stop you.
3. Run!
[Reply]
Yes, Karin was always weird on the posts – can anyone say borderline personality disorder???? yep. Seen it before.
Salty You are {almost} GOD!!!!
Go Go Go Go – Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill! (figuratively, duh!)
Ruin these assholes that take people’s money and then take it some more.
You know – there COULD be a real way to learn how to do REAL internet marketing that provides REAL skills for REAL people and REAL businesses – but no. I guess the world is not ready.
And while you’re at it – I know I keep harping on this – but USA SEO PROS – those guys, too! All those outfits that promise to “rank” you on google and take people’s money…that’s JUST as bad.
You are doing the world a favor, dude!
Keep it up keep it up keep it uuuuuuupppppppp alllllllll nigggghhhhhttttt!
[Reply]
The old saying of “follow the money to the truth” comes to mind.
Keep it up SD: I have paid thousands of dollars into that circle jerk of gurus. I make decent money now but in 20/20 retrospect; I probably got more from the (free) thirtydaychallenge and “the 4 hour work week” (hardcover $19.95).
Kern sure is sexy and I did catch a $50 egg at Mass Control so it wasn’t like it was totally worthless.
[Reply]
“The old saying of “follow the money to the truth” comes to mind.”
I think that applies to all of these idiots. They are untruthful in many areas and the most prominent is with MONEY. They are obsessed with it and measure their success by it which is the opposite to what they try to teach. They are all a bunch of wankers.
[Reply]
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-7
[Reply]
Aylana Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
What a silly comment! That rumor is laugh out loud stupid (and trite) on its face. I’m sure once it’s obvious this rumor is false, you’ll just make up another one to pretend to be outraged at – try to be creative next time, because we don’t come to this site to be bored. Here, let me help you out: “Droid, I just heard a rumor that the reason you don’t post on the weekends is because you spend Saturdays and Sundays killing kittens and sewing their skins together to make a life size furry Not Doctor Kilstein doll. Say it ain’t so!! I have been a fan of yours for years, I have wallpapered my room with your photos and planned out our destination wedding, and now I find out you are just another one of those kitten murdering slime balls. SOB. Well, this easily manipulated fan girl is going to find another hilarious, snarky robot blogger to read, so suck on that, you D-bag.”
Merry Christmas Droid – please keep the funny coming.
[Reply]
Unicorn Army Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
I *knew* it – and now I see how the kitten-killing rumor is on the INTERNET, so it must be true.
A “Salty Droid” product? That would be hilarious, but I’d bet my children that it won’t happen. Of course, my kids, you know, they’re kind of a pain sometimes, so…
[Reply]
Enoch_Root Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
yeah – you can have my kids too. Product or no.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
@SayItAintSo
… it ain’t so.
You shit eaters wish it was about “controversy” :: It’s NOT. It’s about TRUTH. You can’t use truth as an angle for price gouging. That’s a business model with built in self destruction.
And this blog hasn’t gone “viral” you rejects. It’s had steady :: old fashioned :: arithmetic growth. Which :: unlike lucky-virus moments :: is infinitely sustainable and gains energy as it moves.
If you bitches want to call yourselves Internet experts :: you should really try to get a grasp of the basics.
[Reply]
Steve Reply:
February 8th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Who is in this “Syndicate” that you keep mentioning?
[Reply]
i heard the Droid was the subject of Dan Brow’s forthcoming novel. He’s writing it in conjunction with Al Gore and Michael Moore.
The premise is that the Illuminati, headed by a blind albino, kidnap Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, stuff him into the Grinch’s sleigh and steal away to the catacombs of Rome – the Vatican, Actually.
There, Leonardo Di Vinci comes to life through some ancient rite of the Mayans and leads the gang to the tomb of The Magdalene – which the EVVVVVVIIIILLL Catholic Church has been hiding from the NWO and the royals since the beginning of recorded time.
From there, we find that the only way to slough off the fetters of the EEEVVVVVIIIIILLLL Pope – who is discovered to be a certain female deity of Egyptian legend – is to halt man-made globular warming by pouring concrete into all of the volcanoes. In so doing, a race of Aquarians are found living in the deep sea trenches of the mid-Atlantic.
It is only then that the truth is revealed that the Salty Droid hates kittens and has been sacrificing them in the cover of darkness at the pyramids of La Luna and El Sol.
If this is true, which I assume it is coming from Brown, Gore and Moore (esteemed intellects as they are!!!!), then the Droid must be stopped at all costs!
Do it for Teddy Kennedy!
[Reply]
Hey, wasn’t this post about Kern? What, are you guys afraid of dishing the dirt on this shitweasel?
[Reply]
Marc Karin's Husband Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
This post was not about Kern. It was a post about Karin and a sad attempt at quieting her about the Truth she was about to share.
Isn’t that right SD? You knew she was about to reveal something. You panicked.
Isn’t that why YOU called her? i know, i gave her the message to return your call. You demanded in an email that she call you. Quote “it’s now or never”
She chose now. How dare she not comply with her friend the droid’s scare tactic and threat of never.
[Reply]
Doc Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Have you stopped following the directions on your prescription medication?
[Reply]
[...] you won’t owe anything on your taxes. But if you were an attendee at the Mike Koenigs and Frank Kern 2008 Paid for Life fund raising spectacular :: then you probably made heaps and heaps of delicious [...]
Salty. When are you going to post Frank Kern’s Federal conviction papers for us all to see with his blatant violation of the law? And his tax evasion.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
January 15th, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Boom!
http://saltydroid.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Kern-Sucks.pdf
[Reply]
Good stuff, love the writing style. Has me laughing, which means you may be something of an English Major?? ;P
No, but seriously good stuff. Am curious though, if someone wanted to contact you directly, are they able to or does it stay blocked?
[Reply]
Phil Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
The Droid’s email address is all over the blog. (saltydroid@gmail.com) He actually responds. I emailed him once and got an autographed 8×10 a week later.
[Reply]
Taylor Marek Reply:
January 18th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Sweet!
[Reply]
This is my new favorite blog to read. I’ve been looking for a blog like this for a long time. There’s so much toxic waste blogging going on I had stopped reading all blogs.
I used to think that all these internet marketing ‘gurus’ must really have talent or something but thanks to SD i now see that they’re all liars of the worst kind. Good thing I haven’t given them any money in years, but I confess that I did buy some of their stuff…
[Reply]
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-7
[Reply]
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-4
[Reply]
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-8
[Reply]
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-13
[Reply]
SD Reply:
February 7th, 2010 at 4:15 pm
@Karin ::
Don’t make me be a dick about it … and please stop emailing me. I said no more private communication for good reason … as you flagrantly abused that privilege last time. I’m not the sort of dude who changes his mind about such things.
I wish you peace … but your peace is not my job.
[Reply]
Marc Karin's Husband Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-8
[Reply]
Marc Karin's Husband Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 9:06 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-11
[Reply]
Bleakerman Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
You obviously could use some help. Why don’t you contact Frank Kern and ask him for help? He’s a friend, right? Maybe he can help you. After all, that’s what friends are for. If you need to get anything else off your chest, I think he also has a blog.
[Reply]
Zowie Reply:
February 7th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Who loosened the buckles on her jacket?
[Reply]
208-577-6210 Reply:
February 7th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
I suppose everybody who’s ever been inconsiderate enough to be a victim – do they not realise that Karin has to shoulder their pain far more than they do?
What’s she meant to do in these situations? Make an obligatory 5-line reference to a sweat lodge survivor in the middle of a war-and-peace essay about her stainless steel dishwasher, iPod, house, wedding, book, and plasma TV screen?
Er…Yes
WINNER!! ::
+8
[Reply]
Dear Karin,
The wedding commissioner you hired is an elderly and saintly man. You viciously slandered him on the Internet and accused him again today of being a child molester. In Canada, the laws are very simple. You tweeted about it and now you’ve posted about it after warnings.
Karin, you have violated the law. Canada is not the United States. You were warned but you are out of control. Now you are going to have to pay.
Your lies have made your life misery. It will never stop. Stop libeling an old man.
[Reply]
Marc Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 8:20 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-6
[Reply]
Enoch_Root Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 9:16 am
then drop it already.
suspense is for pussies.
[Reply]
Clem Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Won’t the surprise be limited to your permitted “visiting hours?”
[Reply]
You ARE irrelevant Karin. NOBODY cares about you or your life. I guess you can’t function if you’re not talking about yourself at every inopportune time? I guess you think you’re very important… so important, we must know every stupid detail about you every time you post on subjects that have nothing remotely to do with you or your life. Stay on subject, DUMMY!
Again, (since you have a hard time understanding) who are you? NOBODY. So do yourself a favor and stop talking about yourself as if we care.
Here’s the SECRET you missed in your Dale Carnegie books… you’ll never get anywhere in life until you stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on others. Why? Because nobody cares about YOU. :)
[Reply]
Marc Karin's Husband Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-5
[Reply]
Scram Reply:
February 13th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
How about caring SOMEPLACE ELSE besides this blog? You’ve usurped this blog way too many times to be welcome here. Nobody is interested in what you have to ramble on about over and over and over, Karin. Seek professional help and if advised, get medication!
[Reply]
Frank Kern’s real name is Irwin!!?
Yes, I followed the link above to see the FTC charges against Kern. Not exactly pleasure reading, but I have a feeling Irwin F. Kern would not sell as many products as good ol’ boy Frank.
He can be hypnotic when he’s selling stuff. But I find just thinking of him as “Irwin” breaks the spell.
[Reply]
hrm Reply:
February 10th, 2010 at 8:35 am
Well, he couldn’t just shorten it like Ebenezer Pagan.
[Reply]
Paying off / bribing / donating… whatever you want to call it is a pretty common tactic with online Reputation Management Companies. People don’t normally do it themselves though.
Thing is… Frank Kern has had success with the personal touch method before.
Some guy named Malcolm Lambe had blogged a few years ago about Kern’s FTC Bust. The Google Gods saw fit to rank that article pretty well. Good old Malcolm ranked number one for – Frank Kern FTC – and – Frank Kern Con Man – and a bunch of others.
September 2009 rolls around and Kern is in the middle of his lovefest with Tony Robbins. By a strange coincidence Kern also decides to use this time to give a tell-all(propaganda) my-side-of-the-story (sales pitch)about the saga.
Naturally Kern wanted his blog to rank for the keywords – Frank Kern FTC – and so on.
What’s an Internet Marketing Guru to do??
Simple:
1) A Handjob (metaphorically speaking).
2) A Paypal cash dump.
And low-and-behold what was once a damning article of Kern becomes nothing but the original headline and a link to Kern’s blog.
The super-retarded part of this tale is how it got out.
Malcolm starts name dropping the new Kern association as a way to sell his own services.
You can read all about it here:
http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-special-offers-forum/129018-riding-shotgun-frank-kern.html
WINNER!! ::
+8
[Reply]
Malcolm Lambe Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 12:18 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-7
[Reply]
bullshit detector Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 2:03 am
@Malcolm Lambe: hey prickless prick. So you took down your posts about Frank Kern’s FTC bust (where HE freely signed a CONSENT ORDER), and then you conveniently got paid by him. Seems pretty clear cut right there. Case closed, mother fucker.
“You’ll notice I recently posted on the Warrior Forum…” Uh, no we won’t, because unlike you, shit for brains, we don’t piss away our lives begging for cigarette money in bullshit circles.
Interesting pic you have, slick top. Still playing with dolls, or is that something you shove up your ass for kicks when you aren’t scoring loose change on the warrier forum?
Pass our regards on to Frank, the next time you give him a shine. Be sure to tell him all the folks over at Salty Droid sent you, when you come up for air, dipshit.
[Reply]
Malcolm Lambe Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 2:14 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-7
[Reply]
bullshit detector Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 2:37 am
@Malcolm Lambe: Your “copywriting” prowess is something else, brown nose. Way to impress (a five year old). Why don’t you really “wow” us with some of your finest writing, maybe some magazine copy for butt plugs? I’m not too concerned about “how you sort things out where you come from” because I don’t find bunny slippers and pink tutus particularly intimidating. Even your dollie looks more manly than you, gloss top. How many Barbies do you have?
[Reply]
Jay Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Check out Malcontent Lambe’s “profile” here:
http://www.google.com/profiles/MalcolmLambe
He states his occupation as: “copywriting at Miserable Productions.”
That sounds about right!
What’s he doing in the picture on his profile? Being breast fed BY a baby?
Under “companies I’ve worked for” it says “J. Walter Thompson.” Must have emptied a lot of dust bins.
[Reply]
Malcolm Lambe Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 6:18 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-5
breath smells worse than gingivitis Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
@Malcolm Lambe, Malcolm said:”meet me behind the bike-shed after school and I’ll show you how we sort things out where i come from.” Here’s the “sort”: First, Malcolm blows you. Then, you ram it in Malcolm’s arse. And on Tuesdays and Thursdays, reverse the order.
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 10:35 am
@Malcolm Lambe,
“You’ll notice I recently posted on the Warrior Forum about a potential PHP exploit in his “List Machine” script – unknowingly on the launch of his “List Control” thingey.” -Malcolm Lambe
notice how?….when I go click on the “link” ewe show (in another post)….
http://www.warriorforum.com/main-internet-marketing-discussion-forum/189562-frank-kerns-list-machine-script-serious-php-4-exploit.html
I got the following….”No Thread specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator”
“That could have done some serious damage to his credibility and to his launch. Again he was less than thrilled but handled it with style. ” -Malcolm Lamb
it could have done damage…thank gawd the thread was removed……the style of a fraud having his “exploits” covered up…so no one can see….
Malcolm, were you responsible for having the thread removed (for compensation…that would be the second time for ewe)…or was Fraud Kern responsible for having it taken down….
This is also one of your posts….
————–
“I wonder if the good ol’ FTC would find Frank’s WF signature amusing -”
Quote: Get on my list and you will make a billion dollars instantly. http://www.frankkern.com”
Me? I love it.” -Malcolm Lambe
—————
http://www.warriorforum.com/copywriting-forum/189738-another-great-example-copywriting.html#post1866955
What do you love about it? Is it the fact that it embodies the type of integrity you show in your sales copy?
[Reply]
Malcolm Lambe Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 6:27 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-5
[Reply]
_cartman_ Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 11:10 am
@Malcolm Lambe,
“You patsies see “conspiracy” in every fucking thing don’t you.” -Lamb
Conspiracy?….don’t flatter yourself….cover-up….yeah….no emails from Frank were forthcoming about any issues with that “software”.
“Threads on Warrior Forum get yanked all the time” -Lamb
Warrior forum could have locked the thread, and deleted any “individual” offending posts (they have done it before), while leaving the thread (and their integrity…I made a joke) intact.
“Yes I find Frank Kern’s signature pretty funny. It’s against the TOS of Warrior Forum for starters and it’s also thumbing his nose at the FTC. None of you dopes would see the humor in it. I get that. ” -Lamb
Kern’s signature is a caricature representation of his (and others) practices (I get that…hahaha..funny)…but he isn’t thumbing his nose at the FTC…he is thumbing his nose at the individuals who buy his crap (no different then his creative “interpretation” of a “24 hour period”)…
“Go ahead – have a field day on my choice of “Nazi”.” -Lamb
?Copynazi? You probably saw the soup nazi episode of Seinfeld and used the idea…
“Here’s the “integrity” I show in my sales copy, as you put it – http://www.thecopynazi.com” – Lamb
I tried pulling up your site through google….you are not archived….so I went to netsol to check out registration….you registred it on April 2, 2010…you created the site just for us?….hmmm….i’m curious about the type of integrity you would show on a site you created just for us….butt…not that curious…
Domain Name: THECOPYNAZI.COM
Created on: 02-Apr-10
Expires on: 02-Apr-11
Last Updated on: 05-Apr-10
http://www.networksolutions.com/whois-search/thecopynazi.com
[Reply]
Sheldon Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
@Malcolm Lambe, Why don’t you try offering your “Nazi” copywriting services to the Holocaust Museum? What a prick! What were you even thinking? Not only is your copywriting doubtful, but you show a serious lack of wisdom. Why don’t you use the business name, “Fuck You Copywriting.” That fits your style (but nobody else’s).
[Reply]
Malcolm Kern Reply:
April 2nd, 2010 at 12:15 am
Besides being Kern’s bitch, it looks like Malcolm Lambe is a jackass of all trades. Here’s a shitty article he wrote on “how to design and make your own poker chips.” What’s next? “How to design and print your own currency?” Or maybe, “How to marry a rich doll.”
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Design-and-Make-Your-Own-Poker-Chips&id=3431412
[Reply]
Charles Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 4:10 am
Malcolm Lambe…you said:
“I approached him after reading his side of the story about the FTC bust – which I tend to believe – and apologised and offered to take my posts down. I then did a writing gig for him – at book rate. Which I capitalised on in a blatantly off-the-wall I-couldn’t-give-a-shit-who-knows style.”
Let me get this straight:
YOU approached Kern, then you took down your posts because you “believed” his story, upon which you received a copywriting gig from him, and instead of regular copy, you delivered him “I don’t give a shit” copy (your description).
So either: 1.) you got paid off, or 2.) you fucked Kern over, or both. Regardless, you are an asshole, and you made that very clear in your own words.
In reality though, Kern got what he REALLY wanted, which was those posts removed. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about your copywriting (you’re a nobody after all), so you didn’t actually fuck him over. However, the fact that you THOUGHT you did, and boasted of it, still makes you an asshole.
You’re also a dumbass, because ultimately you didn’t have to write a damn thing, and you and your dolls probably could have gotten even more.
WINNER!! ::
+7
[Reply]
Malcolm Lambe Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 5:54 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-8
[Reply]
Malcolm's Blow Up Doll Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 8:44 am
@Malcolm Lambe,
When trying to make a point about how much you fear/hate lawyers, quoting Shakespeare isn’t the way to do it unless you’re an anarchist.
The character who suggests all lawyers be killed does so as a means to pave the way for a revolution to overthrow the government. If anything, Shakespeare was complimenting lawyers.
As for Jason not replying to your emails, get over yourself. You’re not that important and there’s no law that requires email replies.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 4:25 pm
@MalcolmLambe ::
1. No one in this convo is hiding behind a proxy. Do you even know what that means? If you did then you’d know that you aren’t in a position to make that determination.
2. Interesting how you took your Kern post down after I commented on it. Funny how often that happens.
3. I know you think you are using some “rebel without a clue” :: “I don’t care who knows” super copy style. But you just come off like a snake and desperate whore. “Riding Shotgun with Frank Kern?” :: seriously?? It’s Harlan Kilstein levels of pathetic.
And getting bought-off/jerked-off because you are sad and poor is one thing … but leaving the post up just to shill for him after you cave … and then bizarrely bragging about it as though it were a selling point … is maximum lameness. It’s like bragging about being a bitch. Congats on being a bitch! I’m so proud of you … here’s a $1,000 … please write something shitty for me.
4. I believe I did return your first set of emails. Would you care to discuss them out here? Cause I would love to.
[Reply]
Malcolm was X'd Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
@Malcolm Lambe, I believe it’s “Whoop-de-do” you stupid fuck. It sounds stupid when you say, “Whoopy-do”
[Reply]
R.J. Reply:
April 9th, 2010 at 6:13 pm
LOL. Malcolm is obviously a sophisticated copywriter…NOT!
Malcolm Spongepants Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Here’s some “Worrier Forum” bullshit pitches from Malcolm Lambe (aka “The Copy Nazi,” which is almost as impressive as “The Copy Hitler”). Notice how he reframed his one-time bullshit “copywriting” gig with Frank Kern to make it look like he IS a “copywriter.”
http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-special-offers-forum/167238-copy-nazi-we-have-ways-making-your-salespage-talk-blitzing-competition.html
http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-special-offers-forum/129018-riding-shotgun-frank-kern.html
http://bullshitguru.com/how-to-get-free-money-from-frank-kern.html
What a pathetic sad sack.
[Reply]
@Black Mamba: Very interesting! Who does this “Malcolm Lambe” think he’s kidding? Now he (incorrectly) thinks he’s hot shit? It just smells like plain old room temperature shit.
[Reply]
Malcolm Lambe Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 12:20 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-8
[Reply]
Louie Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 3:07 am
Malcolm Lambe’s picture looks kind of like a penis smoking a cigarette. Don’t penises know that smoking causes cancer? If he ain’t gonna quit for himself, he should quit for the sake of his doll.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 31st, 2010 at 5:38 am
@Louie ::
Seriously :: I mean hasn’t the doll been through enough already? Why have dolls if you’re not willing to put them first in your life?
[Reply]
sour mash n tart picklez Reply:
April 1st, 2010 at 8:06 am
@Malcome , don’t worry about these jealous people. They can’t stand to see you happy with with your doll. I mean why get a real woman who only mouths off if you can get a male doll who will keep on giving silently.
Btw are your “business” clients dolls too?
[Reply]
Malcolme Reply:
April 2nd, 2010 at 12:00 am
Here’s Malcolm Lambe’s favorite doll, and the only person in the world who truly “understands” him:
http://snipurl.com/v7jk6
[Reply]
Sidney Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 1:43 am
Malcolm Lambe, alleged copywriter and Kern bitch, mumbles on and on about how he supposedly made half a million dollars in “one day” in his smelly underwear:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMtZu5Pw0rk&feature=related
Maybe he borrowed the kid from somebody so as to appear more stable.
[Reply]
sour mash n tart picklez Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
@Sidney, oh wow..I checked out this Malcomb guy’s website and it was quite disturbing. The guy seems to love to throw the word nazi out over and over. His icon even looks like a nazi skinhead. I certainly would not hire this man, not just because he uses the nazi thing, but his copy just eminates hostility.
[Reply]
Sidney Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 8:01 pm
@sour mash n tart picklez, yeah, that “copy nazi” web site is ridiculous (thecopynazi.com). His navigation has these entries: blitzkrieg, dumkopf, and From the Bunker, among others. I’m surprised he doesn’t have a category called “crematorium.” I mean…wow! How more offensive can someone possibly get? He actually expects that approach will generate paying customers? Maybe he’s aiming for skinheads or something. Just kind of nutty, really.
[Reply]
sour mash n tart picklez Reply:
April 17th, 2010 at 10:39 am
@Sidney, I seriously doubt any real and legitimate business owners are contacting the copynazi to write ads for them. The whole Spiel of the copy on his page comes off as a nutcase with an affinity for being called nazi.
Malcomb is not making a dime online, unless it’s through lies and deception…he has way too much time on his hands as you can see when he comes online and posts pure garbage all day long. Dolls don’t count as clients and real paying customers, although I imagine you do make your dolls…errr I mean your “clients” pay you in one way or another ehh?
That chic is nuts. I hope you never gave her your address.
[Reply]
SD
You’d make a bloody good critic.
Check out my blog, please, and tell me if it sounds scammy at all.
If so, tell me which parts and I’ll take them down… because it’s not intentional. :-)
[Reply]
Rezbi Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Why on earth would anyone mark down a comment like this? It’s not likke I’m critising anyone else.
Whoever did this is a muppet. A cheesy green muppet. And Miss Piggy is his girlfriend.
[Reply]
Malcomb is another liar and deceiver, on the levels of Piggy Belcher, quite skilled in lying and deceiving, but too mentally unstable and schizo to relate to normal people.
Snagged this from Malcomb Lamb site.
http://www.welcometowallyworld.com/youtube-vlog/
” How To Get a Million Hits on Your Crap YouTube Video – in 24 Hours
231239-987494-thumbnail.jpg
Cock-in-a-SockYou’ve got a great idea for a viral video on YouBoob. You’re going to tie your naked mate to the roof-racks of a Sixties Mini and fang down the High Street while some other clown films you. What a laugh. Bound to get you a few hits. But if you really want it to go ballistic there’s a trick you should know. A trick that’s been around for awhile and now every man and his dog is flogging it. But it stills works. Bigtime.
What you need to do is put a boobie thumbnail picture up – a Triple-D Cup that will get all the horny little YouTubers out there going Phoar! and reaching for their…well…mouses…to click and play your crappy video. Yes it’s false pretences but it works a treat.
How do you do it? Just put a still frame at the centre of the video and YouTube uses that as the default thumbnail image.”
http://www.welcometowallyworld.com/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fcockinasock.jpg&imageTitle=231239-987494-thumbnail.jpg <—–this must be him posing naked for his youtube frame shot to get people to click his copywriting videos LOL LOL
[Reply]
Kenneth Reply:
April 18th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
@sour mash n tart picklez, Whoa, that sure is deceptive! Not only that but he even talks about the Belcher button in one of his videos, so obviously he is inspired by that convicted felon. What a DB, huh?
[Reply]
An Aside:
@Whatever
Look, Einstein, what separates the Scammers from good IM’ers…well, fuck, if you have to ask that, you won’t “get” the explanation!!
Hint: It’s the same magic trick as is in the movie, The Replacements…how can anyone ask such a daft thing?
IM is murky water from it being pounded by too many spammers/scammers, so it has a murky past…then you get the trailer-trash-kern-els shitting in the pool and nobody wants to really swim in it anymore, right?! Sorry, I know it’s graphic, but I’m trying to s-p-e-l-l it out so it is ez to comprehend…
What makes agood IM’er? I’m not outing the good one’s with that blueprint, so it can be mapped by dumb-fucks like Kern who will riff off it…the good ones know who they are… I can spot one from outer space…they aren’t hiding!! Geez! When are these folks gonna wake the fuck up?!
Coming out of a digression and back to my points:
ROFLMAO…
IRWIN KERN…How will I sleep tonight when I can’t stop laughing over that one…Irwin Kern in his single-wide trailer (yup, folks…true)
Between the Andy-Kern-Karin circus, it sounds like bunch of tantrummy brats in a sandbox…and not all of them are (any of them?) playing with a full deck, but it sounds like everybody has a load in their pants!!
Who cares. Let them all wet their pants and run into walls…like Katt Williams say, “Your job is to get your 7 laughs a day.” Think of these dipshits as being there to amuse you and…well, have they failed to deliver so far? Not that I’m seeing. Stop getting your fucking money near them! Be Smart!
BTW, the Karin thing…God, I just got here and I’m sick of it…my dad was a cop in may places after ‘Nam, including a big-city stint as Undercover NarcoVice…here’s how you deal with crazy and unstable (deranged, unhinged, loco, mental, whatever the fuck you want to call it):
1. Pick a single sentence that is blanket. Repeat only that sentence to them. NEVER ever say another thing to them BUT that sentence (actually, I devised that strategy and it works like a charm so far!!!). Even the wackiest of whack-a-do’s will get bored and walk away. It is an application system that Works. Try it on the next nut you can’t get rid of. It’s a slow Kryptonite effect. In short, unlike Kern’s stuff: It works. Period.
2. If you want someone who feeds on drama to Go Away…STOP smacking the hornets nest! In other words, when she posts here, thumbs down it and ignore it. NOBODY respond to it or you are feeding fuel to the fire and wondering why it won’t go out. Salty, if she emails you, block her address or trash the email. Simple. NEVER respond. Decide if you want to be friends with her. If no, NEVER RESPOND. Simple right? I love simple. If you want to be friends, Respond. Crazies will go find drama-lovers they can STIR. When you become UNSTIRRABLE, you become REPELLENT to them. (I almost became a counselor…instead I get to comment on how to dump whackos in Salty’s blog…ahhh, how far they fall ;)
Seriously, these tactics sound simple and easy but they are Powerful and
Effective…unlike Kern’s crap.
Another tip: If you don’t want crazies around you, stop getting dragged into their childish dramas. Just Press Ignore!!!! Find something better to do with your time. Many make themselves responsible for the world. STOP doing that…it’s God’s job, NOT yours.
Let It Go.
Hopefully she won’t return but if she does, y’all now know how to roll it out…Stay Silent if you want her to…capisce?
As for the snivelling and scumbag tactics of someone (Frank Kern) who lived in a trailer (Irwin Kern…really, I’m going to wet my own pants giggling over that one) and likely learned some “not so elegant” methods for relating…Never forget that Kern will do whatever it takes…that is what a Trailer-Trash mentality imparts…a burning drive never to live in a trailer again, and a deep and often-hidden desire to take revenge on the society who kept them in that condition. I didn’t say it was glamorous, but it is hard to escape that poverty mentality…it gets hidden, but it bubbles up if you know what you’re looking at…IRWIN KERN himself did say that “Dealing with people sucks….” Now he’s dressing in a white shirt and beard with long hair playing the Messiah role…just another costume for Irwin Kern…NEVER think he won’t throw Everyone under the bus to avoid being a trailer-rat again…I gaurantee you, he will…He is always a wolf in sheeps (Messiahs?) clothing…
Remember the Crying Game…”It’s in his nature…” What people hide still holds incredible power to motivate them. Irwin is nothing more than a desperation-driven trailer-rat that is determined to make it any way he can…he will take down anyone he can, by any means, to do his bidding.
His tools – Pay Attention (though I think you know them all yourself, especially at some level):
1). Getting under people’s skin…getting into a SIMPATICO position (Karin)
The story doesn’t need to be real; it’s job is to exploit, get in
emotionally and muck about. Hence the Joe-Blow pitches. Hypnotism.
2). Frank Kern is an act. He has watched others and riff’d on their
personas, especially Eben and Tony Robbins…he has no heart…
he Doesn’t Care.
3). All of what Frank “shares” with those puppets who buy into his
Amazing-Frank-ness, that is ALL other people’s marketing teachings.
COME ON People, the title is called MASS CONTROL. He isn’t hiding his skimey-ness…why would anything scummy he does cause anyone to waste a moment on his trailer-trash shenanigans.
I do hope Salty doesn’t Bother wasting any more time in life with lunies of any flavor (Life’s too short as it is…way too short for nut-jobs and con-jobs…but hand-jobs can stay…sorry, I’m incorrigible).
He tries to hide it, but Frank Kern is nothing. He learned his shit from the same people anyone of us can (and did) and he is less than 1% the man any of them were. Anything Frank Kern does should be laughed at. STOP giving him your money. Get off his FUCKING LIST!! Well, he is supposedly
Retired now according to his website…maybe the FTC is wrapped, finally and firmly, around his jugulars now (I’d sleep better!)
Remember, your job is to sit back, watch the crazies take each other out, and laugh your ass off, preferably with a drink in one hand…fuck ‘em…none of them are anything…but amusement…
For anyone who thinks I’m full of shit, here’s the link:
http://www.masscontrolsite.com/
Anothers tidbit on whackos in general (Heads up!):
Borderline Personality Disorders’ and people with mental health issues pan for people with Empathy the way miners pan for gold. If you don’t want to be made personally responsible for their life, stay out of it. That is the best I can recommend. The signs are there for some serious issues with the Karin situation and it REALLY is no one’s job here. Let it go…keep it gone…No Responses to her and she’ll go elsewhere to get her drama…NOT your job…
Sorry you had to put up with that crap, Salty…I’d have been sitting there with a margarita, laughing until tears rolled down my face…sounds like a Three Stooges episode…
Grossly manipulative…Irwin Kern?! WHAT a Surprise…
Keep your eyes on those long teeth…threatening someone’s family is indicative of someone who lacks propriety or basic codes of decency…and anyone giving money to those scumbags may as well be paying someone to rob them on the way to dinner!!
{DISGUSTED}
Keep your eyes open, Folks, just don’t forget your real job: laughing your ass off daily.
BTW:
Ethics aren’t something you have because everybody is watching; ethics are something you have when Nobody is watching, when nobody fucking cares, when nobody fucking notices you exist, when nobody acknowledges who you are, what you’ve contributed, what you are willing to do for them, and when nobody appreciates you. Ethics are what you have in the dark. Well, that and Malcombe’s blow-up doll. (Whoopy-do…that is too funny…you guys crack me the fuck up…luv ya’…now fuck off and finish already, will ya’!)
Gurus aren’t made; they’re measured. They are DEFINED and only created by the value they provide others, NOT by their own declaration! Did Mother Theresa go around calling herself a guru? NO, because a true one has compassion and humility. You know, I have hated the word GURU for years…and now I know why: apparently it was a nauseating premonition…or a premonition of being nauseated, to be more precise…
Guard your wallets, your safety, and your emails, Folks…Irwin Kern the Trailer-Rat is still at large…for now…maybe I’ll pull some family favors and go join the FTC…THAT would be a sweet victory for yours truly…but if we take him out, his scumbag cronies (cron-jobs, con-jobs, who can keep ‘em straight anymore…) will live on, preying on the innocent adn manipulating them out of their hard-earned cash (or, worse, debt). This con-fest HAS to be brought down and stopped…Seriously!!
Thanks for a handful of laughs, as usual…”Whoopy-do…you stupid fuck”…ROFL…I’m hitting the hay on that high note of laughter
Out,
LC
[Reply]
I need to start doing thing rather wacthing for ther windows, see pople walk and so on
owcnhgkhy owcnhgkhy
Very nice blog eh
[Reply]
well here’s the thing. Everyone likes to call Chris Farrel and honest marketer. mmmm right well take a look at this, read Chris Farrel has written and then what the people have written, but also notice where Chris Farrell STOPS replying, strange:
http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topic-forum/410472-open-apology-warrior-forum.html
[Reply]
Lanna Reply:
March 4th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
@anon,
He had to ask for help multiple times to make an image a link, and now we are supposed to buy training from him? Internet Marketing is such a joke.
[Reply]
Jack Reply:
March 4th, 2013 at 5:10 pm
@anon, Post 49 they all cried out:
http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topic-forum/410472-open-apology-warrior-forum.html#post4219684
[Reply]
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