Mark Shurtleff SEO Congress Twitter Am I Not A Man?
Something wicked this way comes.
Mark Shurtleff is not my father … SEO.
I’ll hint to you about secrets if you listen close. {closer} … {closer}
Mark Shurtleff mostly uses his Twitter account to illustrate his old man ignorance.
That’s not the hint :: that was just a sentence about Mark Shurtleff’s ignorance :: Mark Shurtleff’s Twitter ignorance to be more specifically SEO.
There’s a battle looming in the salt flats … it’s gonna be like Armageddon with 3.2% “beer” and the missionary position. If you care about hating badguys :: then follow me to Utah {did I just say that?}.
Am I Not A Man? Dred Scott was man that’s for shizzle. But I think I’m more like a fake robot metrosexual … which is why the LDS Church excommunicated me and all of my future-possibly-gay robot babies {did I just say that?}.
Maybe we can’t agree on everything. Maybe you think I’m a bad robot {frowny face … wait for it … wait for it … THE FINGER}. But I hopes we can all agree that corrupt politicians are a fucking soul suck :: who are increasing the scalability of fraud :: and they must be eliminated from the system if any of our hopes for better futures are to be realized.
So I’m SEOing Mark Shurtlef :: can U tell? Oops did I just misspell his name? Oh well … these things happen.
Wanna play a game?
Say a little something something about Mark Shurtleff being a scumbag on your own spot on the Interwebs. Link to various things that will help searchers learn what Mark Shurtleff is really all about. Here’s one suggestion of an article that I think is top notch :: Mark Shurtleff :: Attorney General of MLM :: I’m not sure I care for the profanity … but otherwise I think it contains important information that Utah’s Attorney General doesn’t want Utah’s Google searchers to find out about.
I’m also quite keen on this Mark Shurtleff is Fucking Corrupt category page :: it contains so much great information about Mark Shurtleff’s corrupt leg and his midlife crisis motorcycle accident … SEO.
Oh look :: our friend @CosmicConnie is already playing … she called him boiler room buddy Mark Shurtleff as her anchor text … so now I’m going to link back with the same text. It’s a strong signal to Google’s robots … the most important robots in the global conversation.
Link in :: and I’ll link back in the text of this post. Temporary truce with anyone and everyone :: link in and I’ll link back … and Utah Attorney General Mark Shurlteff will consider following Hosni Mubarak str8 to hell.
Link swarm!
You can do it for fake :: with a bunch of crap links from crap sites like J.C. Penny was doing writ large :: or you can do it for realz … with real sites full of real people who are all like …
“NO! … fuck this Mark Shurtleff … fuck this!”
… or something.
Guess which strategy is more powerful?
Politicians only care about issues that can cost politicians their careers.
Mark Shurtleff SEO.
{am i not a man?} >> bleep bloop
More fabulously hilarious writing ::
- Tim Lawson Fixes Mark Shurtleff Mark Shurtleff and Tim Lawson are super best friends...
- Mark Shurtleff Hearts Jeremy Johnson Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff fucking loves Jeremy Johnson....
- Mark Shurtleff :: Attorney General of MLM I want to be your mentor :: because I...
- Ready :: Aim :: Tweet June 18 was a solemn day for Utah Attorney...
- In Defense of Jeremy Johnson “I’m not guilty!” Squeals Jeremy Johnson in re Jeremy...
:: read one now before you die of stupid.
Hey Salty,
I am in Park City, UT snowboarding.
If I see him around I’ll give him a kick in the balls but I am not
sure he has any.
Well, back to the slopes!
WINNER!! ::
+7
[Reply]
SD Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
@Dave Johnson ::
Look for him at the Sandy and/or Provo Olive Garden …
boom!
burn!
first!
[Reply]
“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Happy Valentines day, mr. sHurtleff.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 3:15 pm
@Jack ::
… never heard of him :: but he sounds smart.
[Reply]
A little bird told me that Ed Dale has an operation in Utah that he is using to peddle his latest piece of crap. Here’s a link to it. He’s recruiting a couple bloggers to push his latest system and one of the operational bases (his words, not mine) is in Utah. Maybe he’s connected with Shurtleff, don’t know. All the same to me!
http://www.watch.ly
It’s another Kajabi scam from Ed and that twat who takes his clothes off for publicity Dan Raine.
Google Ed Dale Dan Raine naked and see what happens – there’s a youtube video of these hucksters somewhere where Raine takes all his clothes off to prove that he can make billions on the internet. Or something.
It’s also a complete rip off (design wise) of this – http://www.6wunderkinder.com/ – an innocent software company. These fuckers are scum. They can’t even design their own scam pages.
[Reply]
bohica Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 12:56 pm
@Ed Dale Scam,
holy shit… is that fucking Comic Sans/Felt Tip on their splash page?
“Oooo… Its the Big One… You hear that Elizabeth? I’m comin’ to you, I’m comin’ home to Georgia!”
[Reply]
If its to be done? Vary the anchor text… or dear old Google will treat this little game as ‘link bombing’ and it will all be for naught!
Be reminded of Bush and the term ‘Miserable Failure’.
You can take this advice with a ‘pinch of salty droid’ if you wish?
-catbum
[Reply]
Hal (the original Hal) Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 7:50 am
@Catbum,
Link bombing? I don’t see any. He is varying the anchor text and linking to on topic sites with real content. Even including misspellings like Mark Shurtlef. Forget Shirtlef, but hey we need to do our part to expose the protector of Utah MLM fraud.
These SEO exercises are way more fun (and funnier) than any WSO on the Warrior Forum.
:)
WINNER!! ::
+7
[Reply]
SD Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
@Catbum ::
That’s another thing you don’t need to worry about when asking real people for help :: instead of fucking zombie swarms.
The zombie swarms don’t and won’t support me … obviously. But they’re probably donating to Mark Leonard Shurtleff :: and his Am I Not A Man? page is probably going rank #1 for “Martin Luther King Jr.” :: “Civl Rights” :: and “dresses”.
[Reply]
U came, Utah, U conquered. U rock, Salty!
I’ve also been playing on Twitter, tagging certain relevant Tweets with #DredScott It’s the least I can do to help celebrate Black History Month and educate eager readers who might want to learn more about the author of The Great American Drivel.
@Ed Dale Scam: One can only hope there are no Shurtless pics of Utah’s corrupt attorney general on the Interwebs.
WINNER!! ::
+9
[Reply]
SD Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 3:35 pm
@Cosmic Connie ::
I think you should have to read it. 4 duty!
I know it’s racist :: and stupid :: as shit but I just don’t have the fucking fortitude to cast mine eyes upon it.
I’ll buy it and send it to you.
{then you buy two books and send them to me :: then I’ll buy you three books :: and so on and so forth … and pretty soon we’ll both have huge libraries like Thomas Jefferson … win – win}
[Reply]
scammed Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 4:18 pm
@SD,
For shame, Salty! I am most grievously disappointed in you. I know it’s off-topic, but imagine the horror I felt when I innocently took my niece to the movies, only to see the evil gnome, Mike F**ksaime, playing a role in the new ‘Gnomeo and Juliet’ CHILDREN’S movie!
To what levels will they not stoop, Salty? Ensnaring the young when they’re (even more) gullible and impressionable (than we adults are)? It’s like the old Camel cigarettes campaign–get ‘em while they’re young, yes? Why did you not warn us, oh wise Droid? (I did TOO take my meds today.)
[Reply]
SD Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Gnome Swarm!
[Reply]
Jack Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 6:31 pm
@scammed, I guess also this is off-topic to the other off-topic, but I did notice about that you can rearrange Shurtleff to spell “Hurt Elfs” – although I guess you’d have to do something with that leftover “f” like maybe “f’ him!”?
[Reply]
Hal (the original Hal) Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 7:10 am
@scammed,
Was that Eben Pagan in the flower outfit at the end of the clip?
[Reply]
DeezNutz Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 7:15 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-7
[Reply]
Cosmic Connie Reply:
February 15th, 2011 at 5:14 pm
@SD, See if it’s available used on Amazon Marketplace.
I already have a huge library (5,000 books or so) but there’s always room for more!
[Reply]
Dave Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 3:44 am
@SD, Hey! Can I get in on this deal? I just can’t stomach reading some middle-aged white guy’s (Shurtleff)interpretation of what slavery was like, so how about sending me something a little lighter first.
Got any Shakespeare left over? I’ll share my comic books….
[Reply]
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
LOSER!! ::
-8
[Reply]
what?? Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 9:32 am
@DeezNutz, a/k/a Christopher Mollo
I wonder if you bore yourself as much as you bore everyone else.
[Reply]
Mark from Just Accountants Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
@what??,
Nope, he’s boring me more than he could possibly bore himself. His self-importance prevents him from boring himself, which is a) good for him and b) very bad for b1) the interwebs and b2) his family and, indeed, subsection b2 a) anyone who has ever met him.
[Reply]
Frank Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
@DeezNutz, Aka Chris: So, Mr. “Successful,” how come you are still living with your mommy in Tempe, Arizona at the age of 36? Does she still spoon feed you and change your diapers? Why don’t you get a job, Chris? Maybe you can get a job doing something you are good at, like shoveling shit.
[Reply]
Jack Reply:
February 17th, 2011 at 2:23 am
@Frank, Also we should try to know why his “Best Traffic Secrets” site has the number 1,984,829 in Alexa. Is it because he needs to keep the site a secret?
[Reply]
Frank Reply:
February 17th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
@Jack, Exactly. I think his mother may be the site’s only visitor, and even she probably hasn’t opted in.
[Reply]
Lucy Montrose Reply:
February 17th, 2011 at 11:18 pm
@DeezNutz… *facepalm*
Why don’t you stop bitching about people who actually have a life…
You mean, like YOUR life?
Oh… you mean the super-rich MLM lifestyle. The kind where someday, after I’ve kissed enough asses, sold enough unnecessary shit, and recited a script about “selling dreams” for the 39,147,354th time, I too will have my very own McMansion and Lexus and seven figures in the bank.
Isn’t it strange how MLMs seem to do best in states where right-wingers and evangelicals dominate? They all subscribe to the same “troll for recruits 24/7/365″ strategy.
[Reply]
[...] Mark Shurtleff is Utah’s MLM Boiler Room Attorney General. He discribes himself on his Twitter account profile as: As Utah Attorney General I protect children, families and the resources of Utah; enforce the rule of law; establish justice; and defend constitutional rights. [...]
[...] The Salty Droid, a one robot task force against the worst of the corrupt and despicable Multi-level marketing world has a post discussing Mark Shurtleff, Boiler Room Attorney General of Utah. [...]
Mark Shurtleff SEO awkward and uncomfortable writing…
“That old
Moses sho’ ’nuff wouldn’t have to part the Mississippi like he done the Red Sea to lead
his people to freedom…
Misspelling words to convey dialect is a big no-no, SEO. Only J.K. Rowling writing Hagrid can get away with that. SEO.
SEO? O SolE miO?
… ¿SEO?
… ¡SEO!
[Reply]
I asked my writer to put a post up about that asshole, and add links to all of the Salty posts – http://discountvouchers.org/hot-stuff/mark-shurtleff-utahs-ag-protects-scammers-and-fraudsters/
She added all the links that I requested… and a [Note: Language alert on the Salty Droid blog.] that I didn’t.
[Reply]
[...] Tweeted each step of his involvement in the execution of a killer! Of course, that’s not the only time Shurtleff has ‘Tweeted’ his way into the halls of infamy. Again, I ask the Yanks and [...]
http://www.bestbeatsbydrdreonsale.com vuzp
http://www.bestbeatsbydrdreonsale.com oolz
[Reply]
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