Jeremy Johnson :: The Christ-like Ginger King of the Mormon Mafia … in The New York Times.
It’s good … but it’s bad.
In Utah, a Local Hero Accused
Seems like a pretty fucking annoying headline :: because JJ is so obviously not a hero … but he was in fact a local hero. It says something scary dangerous about the particular local.
Here’s Utah’s sitting Attorney General at the time :: Mark Shurtleff … accepting the Best of State Humanitarian Award in the stead of “his friend” Jeremy Johnson.

Shurtleff fucking tweeted it :: so …

Utah’s new {but already fucking corrupt} Attorney General John Swallow is a “real conservative” :: not some fake ass conservative like Mitt Romney … or Hitler. “Real conservatives” make home-craft-sunset-word-art for Republican nominating conventions :: fake conservatives move to Berkeley and get AIDS … simple as that.
… or something.
It’s lucky for Mr. Swallow that he’s a “real conservative” :: because he’s certainly not a “real lawyer” … having had no real legal experience before becoming Utah’s chief legal officer. Unless you count losing elections and lobbying for the payday loan …

Jeremy Johnson is totally innocent :: just kidding … he was going to accept a plea deal that had him only doing 10 years in prison rather than the 12,000 years he’d need to do in order for his time to be commensurate with his fucked up crimes.
But he’s innocent according to this little propaganda video he had made about his innocence …

… I’d tell a joke about it :: but I’m sure you’re already laughing.
The plea deal fell apart :: with Johnson wanting a list of people the government would agree …

Utah is a pretty great state … if you’re a fucking scammer.
You should move there … if you’re a fucking scammer.
You won’t even have to join the local religion :: which is approximately as old as Sears … although think of the networking opportunities you’d miss. Some of scamworld’s shrewdest regular offenders are regular attenders of the Latter-day Saint sunday seminar series. While Texas scammers might be teaching you to invest all your money in silver :: Utah scammers know that the key is burying the silver in the ground … it’s the …

The hippie hipsters at The New Yorker liked Joe Flatley’s Scamworld epic. Says they :: between sips of green tea and shit …

Another fun piece, with a marvellous and innovative Web layout, is Joseph Flatley’s “Scamworld,” from The Verge, about the dark, wacky world of Internet con men.

It really was a fun and innovative layout. Did you notice there were no links? So many subtle touches signaling that the piece was something important … something different. The Verge really is doing amazingly creative things with layout and design :: if …

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?
Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes article about the move …

“In Internet years, AOL has grown long in the tooth and seems incapable of playing nice with the toys it buys. There is a great deal of …

You know I hate me some gnomes :: the hats :: the tiny dumb dancing :: the chirp chirp singing … and of course the fucking scamming. Maybe it’s not fair to judge all gnomes based on my limited experience with them :: but so what … I don’t have to be fair to gnomes. Fuck you gnomes :: go away and fix some stuff with your dumb little tool sacks.
The Gnome I know is in The Syndicate :: has terrible ideas for family vacations :: has anachronistic disrespect for the …

I’m fucking against the SOPA :: and the PIPA … and the Santa Maria. I just blacked out my whole glorious fake robot site to prove it {and for fear of defying Wikipedia}. According to The Times of New York :: the protests and bellyaching are working … and the stupid old men of the stupid old man Congress {which is like a series of intestinal tubes} are caving.

“A freshman senator, Marco Rubio of Florida, a rising Republican star, was first out of the starting gate Wednesday morning with his …

Year 3 of the fake robot :: boom … done.
The year in pictures :: via video … thanks to super fucking awesome Vancouver folk rocker Dan Mangan for not suing me. Don’t call a song “Robots” or I’ll pretend to own it.
Spiders :: and Gingers :: and Homiciders … oh my!
Jason’s voice :: no less than twice.
Zero lawsuits … again.
Zero fight backs … again {unless you count fake death threats … I don’t … thanks for doubling my stats Spider Bitch}.
Zero man ups :: as always … and forever.
Popular Mechanics …

Jeremy Johnson is fighting back against the injustice of he himself and him not being allowed to perpetrate wanton injustice upon those less fortunate than himself and his mommy’s mommy.
He’s fought back before :: because like many spoiled Chihuahuas :: he’s all snippy and just wants to pee wherever. Last time he told us about how he couldn’t be guilty because Utah’s very own Attorney General was on his side …

As further testament to I-Works efforts to be in compliance we invited the Attorney General of Utah, Mark Shurtleff, in …