Am I Not A Lawyer?

Mark-Shurtleff-Troutman-Sanders-plus-cake

Every motherfucking horror show on display-archive here :: can be traced back to Mark Shurtleff via a not-fun not-drinking game I like to call … Six Degrees of Rotten Bacon. The Internet has scaled a local corruption type problem :: into an epic global mindraping mega-scam type problem … which The New York Times doesn’t seem to care about.

Eternity in Mormon hell would probably be just enough time for Mark Shurtleff to repay the debt he owes to the universe for his direct personal contribution to a great black cloud of human suffering :: but given his rank in The Church … I guess he’s actually more in line to become the god of his own planet … a planet that he’ll be obligated to populate by banging spirit ladies.

So far :: he’s come out almost just as well via Earth’s weak ass system of injustice … landing a post AG partnership with big D.C. law firm Troutman Sanders. Says them about themselves :: in a self-congratulatory press release a couple of months ago …

“Mark’s addition will strengthen and enhance Troutman Sanders’ state regulatory expertise in a number of areas, including privacy, data security, state consumer protection issues and matters involving the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau,” said Ashley L. Taylor, Jr., the leader of the firm’s State Attorneys General team as well as its Regulatory Compliance and Government Litigation practice.

Mark Shurtleff knows privacy :: like tweeting an execution …

Mark Shurtleff knows data security :: like texting his Senate candidacy plans to Twitter before he’d announced them …

Mark Shurtleff knows consumer protection {gag!} :: like he told the Richmond Times Dispatch in his “I’m a partner at Troutman Sanders now!” profile …

“Career Goal: Zealously protect consumers and the American free market system by representing corporations and associations before state and federal regulatory agencies.”

Protecting consumers by :: zealously … representing corporations.

I guess it’s a slight moral step forward from protecting consumers by :: zealously … representing {and extorting} straight up scammers.

… or something.

Before the Troutman Sanders partnership mysteriously appeared from magical nowhere :: Mark Shurtleff had planned on becoming a bestselling author of slightly racist historical fiction … in spite of his “zealously” obvious lack of authoring skillz.

He had a fail proof marketing plan for his first book :: “Am I Not A Man?: A white guy pretends to tell the Dred Scott story” … namely … extorting straight up scammers. Eric Peterson provides some deets on Shurtleff’s Book Club in Salt Lake City Weekly …

Author and Tea Party activist Candace Salima says that when then-Attorney General Mark Shurtleff approached her in spring 2009 about publishing his historical fiction novel with her Valor Publishing, he told her that he hadn’t finished writing the book—but that he could guarantee a pre-sale order of 1 million copies.

Salima says that the company that Shurtleff told her was willing to buy 1 million copies of Am I Not a Man?: The Dred Scott Story—which, Salima says, would result in more than $2 million of royalties being paid to Shurtleff—was Pre-Paid Legal, a multi-level marketing company and longtime Shurtleff campaign supporter. At the time, the company was being investigated by the Federal Trade Commission for making misleading statements to its customers.

Wows! :: a million copies … wouldn’t have expected the MLM dipshits at Pre-Paid Legal to be so fucking enthusiastic about reading.

Now imprisoned fraudster Marc Sessions Jenson says that Shurtleff finished “writing” that slightly racist book while vacationing at his home :: on his dime … and then offered him the chance to purchase $250,000 worth of the book himself {presumably to pass out to all his slightly racist friends or whatever} …

“I’m telling you right now: They were extorting me, and they were from the very beginning,” Jenson said in an interview Wednesday at the Utah State Prison in Draper.

Totally.

But if all this out in the fucking open corruption and extortion is good enough for the devil {and The Mormon Church} :: it seems … then it’s good enough for big-time-fancy law firm Troutman Sanders.

Fake robots :: much like real robots … don’t cry. There’s no crying in robotics. But last year when I heard {from the always knowledgable Eric Peterson} that Mark Shurtleff would be landing on his corrupt feet :: with a full partnership at a supposedly prestigious law firm like Troutman Sanders … it definitely caused some … let’s call it … orifice leakage.

I mean :: seriously?!?

I know big law firms aren’t exactly bastions of ethics :: but are there no fucking ethical standards at all? No depths to which they refuse to sink?

The answers to those important questions :: I’m afraid … are no and no. Because things are even worse than they appear on first glance. This from a January 2013 Salt Lake Tribune editorial titled :: Shurtleff’s Sad Exit: AG becomes what he once opposed

Once party to a lawsuit that was pushing Bank of America and its subsidiaries to obey the consumer protections found in Utah law, Shurtleff the other day did a huge favor for that same giant bank, agreeing to a settlement that could let BofA off the hook for much of its alleged wrongdoing in Utah…

Shurtleff declined to seek re-election as attorney general, and his term ends Monday. He will then join the international law firm Troutman Sanders LLP, which boasts Bank of America as one of its most prestigious clients.

Please pause for exactly six hundred sixty-six seconds to let that soak it :: before it gets still worse … ready? …

Troutman Sanders is now done with Mark Shurtleff :: which is funny … but totally not funny.

“I resigned,” Shurtleff confirmed Saturday. “Commuting to D.C. and all the [national] speaking was just too hard on me and my family.”

“My family” is the excuse Shurtleff makes for all his personal failures {which have been multitudinous} :: but no egoist asshole like Shurtleff has ever given up a lucrative law partnership voluntarily {without a backup plan} … in the whole {slightly racist} history of egoist assholes. That’s just more total bullshit.

It looks for everything like Troutman Sanders hired the country’s most obviously corrupt Attorney General while he was still in office :: got exactly what they wanted from him {fucking over Utah’s citizens in bulk} … and dumped him like the soon to be indicted toxic waste that he is. Then rather than issue a statement about it :: or god fucking forbid an apology … Troutman quickly and silently sanitized their websites of any mention of Shurtleff.

I guess we’re expected to believe that the US Department of Justice investigation into Shurtleff’s shenanigans was a big surprise to the overpriced attorneys occupying Troutman Sanders’ world headquarters {conveniently located at Bank of America Plaza}?

Maybe we’ll find out all about it when fake whistleblower :: and total fucking blowhole … Julian Assange finally releases the data from that alleged Bank of America leak that he teased but never produced?

Or maybe the big :: and the bad :: and the ugly … will just keep fucking the rest of us over while we sit around idly worrying about Kim Kardashian baby names?

Though we sing in our chains like the sea.

>> bleep bloop

87 thoughts on “Am I Not A Lawyer?”

  1. Salty Droid: I very much agree with your mission and I agree that something needs to be done about these blatant scammers. But, please note that Mark Shurtleff has no official standing in the LDS church and some of your comments are offensive to those of the LDS faith. Members like myself see these things going on, but, there is little we can do. The enormous majority of Mormons are kind and caring and would never participate in scams like this. I hope that you could not judge an entire religion by the actions of a few bad apples.

    1. @Derek ::

      I feel ya :: but … you might want to fact check this …

      Mark Shurtleff has no official standing in the LDS church…

      … because I don’t think it’s accurate.

      And I’m not sure the church’s hierarchy is totally innocent :: see e.g. the huge sums of {last I checked still unreturned} blood money that they accepted from the likes of Jeremy Johnson. Approx $1.3 million more than Shurtleff himself accepted. Or see the current activities of the son of former Quorum of the Seventy member Clate Mask Jr. Where is their voice on this? Where is their leadership?

      But I got less than no problem with regular old church going Mormons :: who are just people trying to get through this life in their own way … like all other people.

      1. @SD, I did look, I can’t find any reference to him. If you have a link to some reference of an official position in the church, please post it.

        Additionally, you are referencing the “son” of a past church leader. You wouldn’t impeach President Obama if one of his daughters committed a crime. His son is an adult I’m sure. Our church doesn’t make a habit of punishing parents for the actions of their children or calling them out on it since, I promise, they feel pretty terrible about it anyway.

        I’m not saying that leaders in the LDS faith are always infallible, but I think the picture you are painting of a systemic problem of corruption within the church is very inaccurate.

        I can tell you that treating others how you would want to be treated and living a life of integrity and honesty and strength of character is very strongly stressed in our church from the top to the bottom.

        1. @Derek,

          I’m glad that you agree with where the Droid is coming from.

          Personally — and this is said in a friendly voice — I think the best that you can do for your church is distance yourself as a Mormon from Shurtleff and condemn his actions. I for one am happy to read and consider your comments here, but I hope you are prepared to go on the record elsewhere too, condemning Shurtleff in at least as many words as you use here.

          1. @Yakaru,

            Yes, I agree, I would definitely distance myself from him. But I of course don’t know him. It should be noted that the Mormon church is not a “Utah” church. It has over 14 million members (less than 2 million of those in Utah) and the majority of those 14 million are not even in the United States. For the majority of us Mormons that don’t live in Utah, we see this as a Utah problem, not a Mormon problem. Especially since the government sets the rules and enforces the laws there, not the church.

            Here is a good link that summarizes the church’s teachings on honesty and integrity. You will notice more quotes from church leaders at the bottom. https://www.lds.org/youth/for-the-strength-of-youth/honesty?lang=eng

      2. @SD, and as far as returning money from ill-gotten gains, I don’t know anything about the specifics of that, but I can tell you that the church is sensitive about those kind of things. For example, we are even instructed that if a member was to win the lottery or any money in gambling, the church does not want members to make donations or to tithe from those winnings because that money is considered ‘dirty money’ (for lack of a better term).

        1. @Derek,

          For example, we are even instructed that if a member was to win the lottery or any money in gambling, the church does not want members to make donations or to tithe from those winnings because that money is considered ‘dirty money’

          I’m not a member of the Mormon faith. My words are general, not specific.

          Generally, when I try to get a sense for how any large, powerful hierarchical organization works, what I almost always see time and time again is that the rules for the individual members at the “bottom” are followed more assiduously than they are for the individuals at the “top”.

          For some orgs, it’s not always a discrepancy serious enough that one could fairly name it “corruption” as such… But whatever you call it, it’s probably not truly fair.

          Just see if you can find the answer to this two part question first: Is it the case that Jeremy Johnson has contributed substantial sums of money to the LDS church? If so, how much? (Remember that it is technically possible for a person to donate anonymously. But let’s assume that most or all of his donating would not be anonymous.)

          Ok, once you’ve got that, second point: Has the church given back any of the money?

          That would be unlikely. But if the church hasn’t given back any of the money then there is Trouble In Paradise.. ‘coz Jeremy Johnson has a heart as black as sack cloth. {figuratively} Either that or he’s the bizarre example of a sociopath trying to do Good Werks. *shrug* In either case, he’s done a lot of evil and he keeps not wanting to answer for it.

          Furry cows moo and decompress.

          1. @Wyrd, I don’t have the information to answer either of those questions. Since the church is a private organization, donations are not made public. Additionally, if a donation was returned or rejected, that would definitely not be made public.

            The church does have a policy of returning ill-gotten gains so I am confident that if requested through official sources and proper documentation, the church would return it.

            1. @Derek, isn’t it interesting that other American religious institutions exist that have no problem with open financial records?

              Why not COJCOLDS?

              Where there is secrecy, there is fraud.

              You are as naive and trusting as the victims of the scams featured on this blog, my darling.

            2. @2+2=4, I believe you may be the naive one here. A great deal of religious institutions in the US and worldwide do not release their financial records. Any worldwide church would be justified in keeping this kind of information private. And since almost no one in the LDS church is paid a salary and even those that receive a stipend live modestly and don’t drive nice cars and show no real outward sign of wealth, there really is nothing to worry about for most members of the church that have any skills of observation. I personally know some people high up in church leadership and they receive nothing more than coach class plane tickets when they travel on church business, no salary, no stipend, nothing.

        2. @Derek,

          “a small group of bankers–particularly E. Parry Thomas, head of Valley Bank–funneled deposits from the Mormon Church into the huge loans that fueled Las Vegas’ explosive growth in the 1950s. “If a single entity, beyond the Syndicate, financed the first great expansion of modern Las Vegas…it was–wittingly and unwittingly–the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,” the authors write.”

          http://www.businessweek.com/stories/2001-04-01/las-vegas-confidential

          No way it’s still going on and about today between Mormon Church & Vegas then is what you tell us?

  2. I always wondered about the Mormon Church accepting tithing from the Marriott family. You know, the ones who own the Marriott Hotel chain. Many billions in revenue and hundreds of millions in profits. Presumably the Marriott family, being Mormons and all, tithe 10% of their personal profits to the church, from the those hotels they own. That sell porn on the TVs in those hotel rooms. Which they do.

    (Hold on, Schlubby is yelling something at me from the living room where he is watching MacGyver reruns and eating his THIRD pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie…)

    He says the porn they sell on the pay TV at the Marriotts is just soft porn, they don’t show any poonani, so it doesn’t count.

    1. @Mother Kilstein,

      From the Salt Lake Tribune:

      “Utah is No. 1 – for online pornography consumption”

      “Utah has the nation’s highest online porn subscription rate per thousand home broadband users, at 5.47, while the nearby states of Idaho and Montana showed the lowest rates of 1.98 and 1.92, respectively, according to the study.”

      http://www.sltrib.com/ci_11821265

      “Marriott is a major pornographer,” said Burress. “And even though he may have fought it, everyone on that board is a hypocrite for presenting themselves as family values when their hotels offer 70 different types of hardcore pornography.”

      The company’s Mormon chairman and CEO, J.W. “Bill” Marriott Jr., defended the pornography policy in a letter to Bill Johnson, executive director of the Michigan-based American Decency Association.

      “The in-room entertainment operators who provide our systems rely upon a certain volume of movie types in order to be economically viable,” Marriott wrote. “If we were to eliminate the ‘R’ and non-rated offerings, the systems would not be economic.”

      http://www.wnd.com/2007/07/42565/

      Mormons love their porn.

        1. @Derek,

          I think you need to do more reading on the subject of LDS members and porn. Here’s one source:

          The LDS Stake Medium Council blog excerpt:

          “A recent study showed that when subscription data to online porn websites is analyzed, Utah shows a higher incidence of usage than any other state. This statistic would probably not be surprising to any LDS who had been listening to General Conference (and local) talks over the last few years, where the problem of pornography addiction among LDS has been repeatedly addressed. My stake recently had a Saturday evening session of Stake Conference where our SP spent almost an hour on the subject. Every Bishop or SP that I am friends with seems to have, at one time or another, told me “You have no idea how bad it is.”

          Rowboat and Marbles blog on pornography and the LDS Church:

          “… I have found what countless Mormon men are dying to find but failing: complete sexual sobriety. My wife has found what so many Mormon women would give up everything to have: a sexually sober husband….We want to see LDS husbands and wives with confidence in each other. We want to see Latter-day Saint women who trust their husbands, who don’t cry themselves to sleep at night, who don’t wonder what happened to their “happily ever after.”

          Mormon Monsters:http://mormonmonsters.com/2010/09/mormon-addiction-to-porn/

          “The LDS Church frames the consumption of pornography much as it does the other problems seen within Utah — high anti-depressant usage by Utahns and high suicide among Utah teens — as problems in themselves to be addressed. But I suspect that these issues, including pornography use, find their roots in the Mormon culture.

          The problem, I believe, begins with the Mormon marriage ceremony itself. While being endowed preparatory to being sealed, Mormons are given a pair of “temple garments” and told to wear them both “night and day”. These garments share characteristics of the nineteenth century Victorian clothing styles they sprang from — solid fabric modestly covering the body from the knees to the shoulders. The garment is, in my experience, the antithesis of sexy lingerie. Couples are counseled, through anecdotes and command, to wear the garments “at all times and in all places.” For most Mormon couples, this includes bed.
          Additionally, there was the formal and informal restrictions on the sex act itself. In an announcement on January 5, 1982, the Church’s First Presidency stated that it “has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice.”

          I cannot believe there would be so many websites and blogs devoted to the problem of pornography and the LDS Church if it were not a genuine issue.

          1. @Barbara,

            Additionally, there was the formal and informal restrictions on the sex act itself. In an announcement on January 5, 1982, the Church’s First Presidency stated that it “has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice.”

            I’ve got to hold on!…. MUST.. BE.. STRONG.. Must.. have.. tact.. must.. resist… urge to respond… with..

            Rocky Horror Picture Show…
            https://www.google.com/search?q=rhps&safe=off&tbm=isch

            1. @Wyrd,

              Get a grip on yourself. Next thing you know you’ll be pelvic thrusting while dancing the Time Warp.

          2. @Barbara, Oh, definitely an issue, but only because the church considers the viewing of pornography to be immoral, whereas many in the rest of our culture do not, so a lot of emphasis is placed on avoidance. My point is that just because Utah sees a higher rate of viewership, it doesn’t mean that Mormons do. And you have provided conjecture, opinion, and anecdote. The link I provided cites an actual study that controlled for religion and found that religion did not necessarily contribute. You should look up causation vs correlation, it will help you avoid using anecdote to feed your bigotry.

    2. @Mother Kilstein, Referring to the Marriott chains offering of porn is a common refrain even among members of the church, many see it as hypocritical. But, as far as the church accepting tithing money… I think it is not so simple. The Marriott hotel chain is a worldwide, respected, and legitimate business. It would be very difficult for a church to become so involved in the details of the source of every dollar they receive. Additionally, I believe Marriott has since dropped adult offerings from their tvs. source: http://money.msn.com/top-stocks/post.aspx?post=b5cb3a59-5d90-4677-be62-0b2a2fab999b

  3. Mark Shurtleff is the type of politician and human being that fills me with despair for the future of this country. Rarely has such a lying, cheating, dishonest public figure gone unscathed by law enforcement, the press and the citizenry for so long.

    As for his book, here are some excerpts from a glowing Amazon five-star review:

    “Finally….. a work that provides true meaning to a tragic portion of our history, and yet avoids the modern revisionist historian’s prolific penchant to trash great men of the past, (a penchant no doubt based in their desire to justify their own moral lapses).”

    “Finally, after reading this book I actually felt a deep regret that I had never had the privilege of knowing or speaking with Samuel (Dred) Scott and I still hope as I write this, that one day I may be afforded that privilege ……Perhaps on the other side of Jordan.”

    What do we know about the author of this fine review, other than the facts that he is overfond of ellipses and of the word “finally”? And of course that he wants to get to hang out with Dred Scott after he’s dead?

    We know that his name is D. Shurtleff and that he has written a whopping two reviews on Amazon. This five star review and a single star review of “The Joseph Smith Papers: Journals, Vol. 1: 1832-1839”. Even though the Joseph Smith Papers has the approval of the Mormon Church that’s not Mormon enough to suit D. Shurtleff, he accuses the authors of selling out to academia. Shurtleff claims in the comments after his review that The “casual reader” might be injured by this volume and have their “tender faith destroyed”.

    You know, D. Shurtleff, that the truth will set you free, don’t you? But it looks like you won’t take any chances on that happening.


  4. It looks for everything like Troutman Sanders hired the country’s most obviously corrupt Attorney General while he was still in office :: got exactly what they wanted from him {fucking over Utah’s citizens in bulk} … and dumped him like the soon to be indicted toxic waste that he is. Then rather than issue a statement about it :: or god fucking forbid an apology … Troutman quickly and silently sanitized their websites of any mention of Shurtleff.

    Well the dumping Shrtleff part actually comes as a bit of a relief. I read that first part where you said they hired him and I’m thinking… “wait.. evil multinational law firm… hires him!? wtf?” You temporarily shook my faith in the shrewdness of evil law firms.

    But then you said they dropped him like a rock after they got their best buds BofA off the hook and now it makes more sense.

    Yes. It’s horrible. Yes. It makes me wanna leak orifice fluid. But it makes sense now. Shurtleff is such a fuck-tard… the only time he ever looks competent is when you compare him to John Swallow.

    Maybe Wolfram & HartTroutman Sanders knew about the impending indictment, maybe they didn’t. But surely they must’ve been planning their sudden-but-inevitable-betrayal (from Shurtleff’s perspective) of Shurtleff from the moment they considered hiring him because with all that shit with John Swallow coming out, and with Shurtleff writing that that slightly racist (and deeply stupid) book–I mean with skillz like that it’s sort of more a question of when will some charge finally be leveled against him not if.

    It’s a bit curious that no one was ever able to get traction against Shurtleff while he was still in office, isn’t it? What changed I wonder…

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    The Banks. The fucking banks. Ownership is 9/10ths of the law. Money is power. The banks own everything and they hold all the money.

    Absolute power… etc…

      1. @Wyrd, @SD, why does this whole thing seem like the plot to a John Grisham novel? Maybe he could use it for his next one.

  5. Candace Salima of Valor Publishing Group has an interesting, (and scammy), sideline in selling essential oils.

    http://candacesalima.blogspot.com/search/label/doTERRA

    “The dōTERRA home-based business opportunity represents a part-time income for many Independent Product Consultants who share their personal enthusiasm for our products with friends and associates via in-home demonstrations and by referring people to personalized web shopping sites. Others enjoy significantly higher sales commissions with a fulltime commitment to building global customer organizations and by sponsoring and mentoring other Independent Product Consultants for which they receive additional sales bonuses.”

    Candace says it’s an opportunity to develop a second income and features on her blog a video claiming essential oils stop seizures and prevent emphysema, because there’s nothing dishonest about that, right Candace?

    She is also the author of “Oregano Oil” which can be bought on Amazon for as little as 43 cents in good used condition or $4.46 brand spanking new.

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1580544754/ref=dp_olp_all_mbc?ie=UTF8&condition=all

    I’d have to say that Mark Shurtleff found exactly the right publishing group to represent him.

    1. @Barbara,

      When you said, “sideline in selling essential oils,” my mind went immediately to the street vendors selling scented oil out of a bandolier of tiny plastic bottles. Classy!

      http://www.flickr.com/photos/only-connect/5855601768/

      (That’s the only photo I can find, and Flickr user only-connect holds the copyright. Please forgive my transgressions!)

      That’s pretty scary that dōTERRA’s claiming their essential oils can stop seizures since every essential oil or other aromatherapy product sold in regular retail outlets (Target, The Body Shop) has a warning that people with seizure disorders should not use it or use it with caution because it can trigger seizures. Maybe, inversely, there’s a logic to finding a scent that bypasses the buggy neural pathways instead of triggering them, but would you allow an Independent Product Consultant to figure out which is which through trial and error?

      1. @Lanna,

        That’s pretty scary that dōTERRA’s claiming their essential oils can stop seizures since every essential oil or other aromatherapy product sold in regular retail outlets (Target, The Body Shop) has a warning that people with seizure disorders should not use it or use it with caution because it can trigger seizures.

        From a super-quick googling, it looks to be one of those hyper-nebulous nobody-really-knows-much kind of things.

        Except that probably everyone agrees that sniffing certain essential oils is virtually guaranteed to trigger seizures in certain epileptic people.

        My “resources”, such as they are:
        http://www.essentialoils.co.za/epilepsy.htm
        http://www.livestrong.com/article/13214-prevent-epileptic-seizures/

        I don’t trust either of those sources over-much. But then, on medical info, I have a hard time trusting any source completely, even when they’re a highly reputable source and when they’re not making extraordinary claims that, if true, would contradict all known physiology. (the above sources aren’t doing that–but a lot of the alt. med stuff does. Or else it just skips over the whole physiological thing by shrugging and just saying: “it works! We’re sure!” They should check out the Pragmatism fallacy.)

        Maybe, inversely, there’s a logic to finding a scent that bypasses the buggy neural pathways instead of triggering them,

        Maybe. But that sounds less like the L- word to me and more like a sort of anti-sympathetic magic. Even if it works. I feel “logic” should feel less like guessing and more like knowing.

        but would you allow an Independent Product Consultant to figure out which is which through trial and error?

        No. World of no.


        Furry cows moo and decompress.

    2. @Barbara, That’s funny and sad. I live in Utah and on my drive to work which is long I see at least 6 different MLM companies office buildings one being Doterra. And who knows how many more I pass that are MLM’s that I haven’t heard of yet, but I’m sure I’ll be pitched on them shortly. And I did have a friend in Doterra that said using the oils it got rid of his cancer, no joke.

      1. @InTheKnow,

        Cancer?! No kidding? I hope he was seeing an actual medical doctor in addition to his undoubtedly highly skilled doTerra practitioner. (heavy sarcasm included)

        Unbelievably they quite openly make claims on their official website and blog of curing a multitude of cancers, here’s just one example of many:

        A story about an individual with terminal liver cancer – from doTERRA Experiences blog

        “I met a woman in Long Beach, and I’d like to share her story. Last November, her husband was told to put his affairs in order. His liver cancer had progressed so much so that the tumors were far too large for surgical removal. He was given six months to live.
        She was introduced to the power of doTERRA’s frankincense shortly following the diagnosis. He applied it topically over his liver and under his tongue daily. On their next visit with his physician, they discovered his tumors were miraculously shrinking.”

        http://www.miracleoils.ca/2012/12/frankincense-essential-oil-and-cancer.html

        They also mention cures of breast, lung, bone and other cancers including what they amusingly call “prostrate” cancer.

        “Prostrate Cancer Story – From Everyday in Every Way”

        1. @Barbara, Found out from another friend that knows him also that he never had cancer but hey, great way to get the word out about what a great product it is! I’m afraid to ask where the oil is put if someone has colon cancer.

  6. Mark Shurtleff doesn’t even see how grotesque he is announcing an execution by firing squad in the same manner he announces this:

    “Meet my 5th Grandchild Hudson Shurtleff, 8 pds. 13 oz. & 21.5 inches! Another Beautiful Boy. Congrats Heath/HayLee! pic.twitter.com/WZAfIfb2RT”

    Do you think someday Hudson will realize his birth announcement was done in the same format Grandpa used to announce he had killed a man?

    1. @Barbara ::

      … may god grant him mercy.

      Love the abbreviation “pds.” … I guess maybe the standard “lb” was too long for the twitters.

    1. @2+2=4,

      The Shurtleff-McBride-Robbins-Jenson article in the Salt Lake Tribune was informative and strangely funny. In addition to the “Bizarro World” reference there was this:

      “I’m in the plea-in-abeyance [period],” Jenson said, “and they’re going to come down there spending my money, taking my time and it’s not bad enough to buy everything in the pro shop [at the golf course], they ask me for $2 million?”

      I wonder if they bought a couple of these at the low, low price of $148?

      “Men’s 1/4 Zip Cotton Suede Pullover
      Perfect for those chilly days, this heavy-weight sueded cotton zip pullover offers an ultra soft feel for added comfort. Already pre-washed and pre-shrunk, it’s ready to go when you are. It comes in either charcoal with white logo or sand with brown logo.”

      https://www.shoppelicanhill.com/catalog/f56507ab-b0fc-4f8d-b004-0183df00b4af.aspx?categoryID=9

      It’s ready to go when you are, Mark Shurtleff, whether you’re extorting people at a resort or commuting to a Washington D.C. law firm. It’s what the well-dressed crooked scammer is wearing these days.

  7. It is amazing to me that you connect the dots like you have as a civilian (Not Paid Law Enforcement) and that this dude is not in prison..

    Can the state of Utah undo the B of A deal? The payoff is so obvious, don’t get why the media doesn’t pick up on stuff like this and hold people accountable when the bureaucracy doesn’t.

    1. @realestateguru,

      Can the state of Utah undo the B of A deal? The payoff is so obvious, don’t get why the media doesn’t pick up on stuff like this and hold people accountable when the bureaucracy doesn’t.

      It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? I figure TV casts a pretty powerful perception filter spell, that’s all I can think of.

      1. @Wyrd, @realestateguru,

        *Can the state of Utah undo the B of A deal? The payoff is so obvious, don’t get why the media doesn’t pick up on stuff like this and hold people accountable when the bureaucracy doesn’t.

        It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? I figure TV casts a pretty powerful perception filter spell, that’s all I can think of.*

        Or, just for fun, here’s another theory:

        http://abetterkuwait.wordpress.com/2011/08/19/1984-vs-brave-new-world/

        Orwell versus Huxley

        The theocracy of Utah is definitely the Orwellian world of 1984, history rewritten, truth suppressed, minds controlled. No question there.

        But…Mainstream American culture = Brave New World? Minds distracted, too much to divert our attention? As the Droid wrote:

        *maybe the big :: and the bad :: and the ugly … will just keep fucking the rest of us over while we sit around idly worrying about Kim Kardashian baby names?*

            1. @2+2=4,

              Yeah and sixty-two thousand four hundred repetitions make one truth.

              Been there. Done that. And if they’d made a T-shirt of it, I’d have that as well.

              Definitely Panopticon effect notwithstanding, we in the west take after the Brave New World model of dystopia far more than the 1984 model. (Note: remember Apple’s commercial from the actual year 1984? There’s a heck of a joke there about how they’re kinda like facilitating Big Government (brother’s) spying now for anyone that wants to take it.)

              But actually, if you check out what the public defenders have to saw on their “blawgs” it seems like the police state is right here already. It’s just 1) it mostly doesn’t directly encroach on free speech (much) and 2) it mostly hits those with the least power a lot more than the middle or upper classes. (Therefore we’re often not aware of it.) But then, I guess that’s been that way since forever. There’s probably something about that in Ecclesiastes.

              It’s all doubleplus ungood. (yes, yes–I know that’s 1984 not BNW. BNW had more fun with language than BNW did, IMHO.)

              I have to say though–I didn’t like the “savage” character in BNW. His values are not up-to-date with modern values. But, then again, might not that mean that Huxley’s prediction has already happened? Mostly I’ll say: yes, except… except on the sex thing. The BNW position that “Promiscuity is a citizen’s duty” might be taking things a bit far, but the notion that the “savage” was in any way justified in hollering “Impudent strumpet!” over and over again when the female person made a pass at him is totally bogus IMHO.

              Now talking of dystopian novels who here is familiar with this little rhyme?

              (from memory)

              Christ, Marx, Wood and Wei led us to this perfect day. /
              Marx, Wood, Wei and Christ all but Wei were sacrificed. /
              Wood, Wei, Christ and Marx gave us lovely schools and parks. /
              Marx, Wood, Wei and Christ made us humble, made us good.


              Furry cows moo and decompress.

            2. @Wyrd

              dangit. On some, subconscious level I can always tell when I’ve got some missing/mangled tag or spelling error yet sometimes I still don’t check before clicking Submit. I’m never sure why. Oh well.

    1. @Rafael Marquez,

      God Damn I hope not. That would be very bad.

      ————————————————————

      I dunno–maybe more like The Banks are the sentient machines and we’re all “copper-tops” jacked into the Matrix.

      They keep us content–more or less–so they may feed off us.

  8. from the Salt Lake Tribune:

    “It was 2009, and there was Mark Shurtleff, touting his forthcoming book about Dred Scott, praising the healing powers of a Lehi company’s products and lauding the multilevel-marketing model.

    “That’s a great business model, and I support it 100 percent,” Utah’s then-attorney general told a Green Tea Co. gathering at Salt Lake City’s Alta Club.

    “You have to have a really good product, that’s key to me in law enforcement, and you do, you’ve proven that,” added Shurtleff, crediting Green Tea products with helping him focus his writing while recovering from leg surgery after a nasty motorcycle crash. “I’m convinced it helped me be more lucid.”

    Here’s one reason his lucidity was suffering:

    “During what turned out to be an extremely painful 18-month recovery, the attorney general became dependent on painkillers. He returned home from work one night to find his wife, M’Liss, had flushed his OxyContin and oxycodone. He protested that he was tapering, but she insisted he go cold turkey.” (Deseret News)

    I wonder if Mark Shurtleff would share his recipe for a green tea/oxycontin cocktail? What would you call the mormon version of a Brompton cocktail?

  9. While this doesn’t change the point of this article – it should be noted that the pre-sales figures have been modified.

    “Editor’s Note: City Weekly originally reported a different number of pre-sale copies and a different royalty estimate from Salima. After a version of this story was published online May 31, Salima told City Weekly that she had discovered that the figures were different than those she’d originally and repeatedly told a City Weekly reporter. The numbers have been corrected in this story.”

    1. @Eric ::

      Duly noted.

      But seeing as how Ms. Salima is a piece of crap liar :: and “one million” sounds much funnier … I won’t be making the same change. No take backs!!!

      Expecially because both 1,000,000 :: and 100,000 … are both orders of magnitude of ridiculous … showing that neither Shurtleff nor Salima knew the first fucking thing about book publishing. A first time fiction author would be {very} lucky to sell 10,000 copies.

      As way of example :: J.K Rowling’s first book :: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone … had a first run of 1000 copies.

      1. @SD,

        OMG, I’d missed that bit!

        Just last week I heard the fantasy writer Brandon Sanderson say on a podcast that he’d first hit the NYT bestseller list at (I think) 5K copies, and that most people don’t realise how relatively few books are sold in comparison to, say, a movie’s viewing figures.

  10. @Derek,

    Many American churches do have open financial records.

    Yes, some of them do get it, that secret finances are prone to abuse and it is a travesty for a church that teaches ethics to be anything less than scrupulous in reporting the money it collects from members and disburses.

    Don’t let the Mormon leadership tell you that this can’t or shouldn’t be done by a church. On the contrary, it can and should be done by any ethical organization. Don’t let yourself be manipulated. Don’t be a sheeple.

    Here is one example…there are other nonest churches that take the same approach. There are lots of resources on the tabs at the left or bottom of the main page:

    http://www.elca.org/Who-We-Are/Our-Three-Expressions/Churchwide-Organization/Office-of-the-Treasurer.aspx

  11. @Derek,
    Read this too:

    http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/index.php/discussions/viewthread/37191/

    I only offer this story because it was fairly freshly posted…there are scores of other similar stories out there. Lots of red flags about COJCOLDS financial practices….and first and foremost is the lack of financial transparency. One can hardly take them seriously as a legit operation due to the secret finances alone.

    Another point….

    You talked about a “Utah” problem, like the problems are confined to Utah.
    If Utah has the highest concentration of Mormons on the planet, and Mormonism is so effective in getting people to be honest and ethical, shouldn’t we find paradise in earth in Utah? Instead, in Utah we find many troubling things. We find there the MLM capital of the US. We find horrible boiler room call centers. We find some of the highest rates of fraud and personal bankruptcy in the entire country. Something isn’t adding up here. I think that it is quite fair to call out the mormon leadership on some fishy goings on. They have a lot of explaining to do,

    I am sure that you, an individual who belongs to the mormon organization, are honest and ethical and an extremely nice guy. Most mormons are. But one does need to maintain one’s critical thinking capacity in life. You must always think for yourself and consult your own conscience, not allow an organization to do that for you. Allowing someone else to do your thinking for you is the definition of…. naïveté….immaturity…a totalitarian state. ..all of the above?? Anyway, it is not healthy for the individual or a free society.

  12. @2+2=4, I’ll agree that it is a Mormon problem because of the high concentration of LDS in the state, but with a lifetime in the church, I can tell you that there is nothing in the teachings or doctrines of the church that would encourage or tolerate fraudulent behavior.

    There are so many factors I think that go into the fraud problem in Utah. One being the very homogeneous culture that exists in the state due to the church. People within the state are more susceptible to fraud I think because they wrongly choose to trust people based on their common religion.

    Additionally, Utah has the highest concentration of cold call / sales talent in the world due to all of the return missionaries. They spend 2 years going door to door honing their skills. Sadly, some are fooled by these bad eggs into selling for them. You can’t have a boiler room without a bunch of sales people so this concentration of young, gullible talent is bound to attract some monsters.

    And as for finances, sure, they don’t open their private financial records to the public, but as a member, you more or less see where it is spent and where it is not. If I saw leadership cruising around in Bentley’s and flaunting gold jewelry and the like, I would definitely be worried, but that just isn’t the case. Here is the home and apartment of the current president of the church: http://www.moroni10.com/prophets_homes/Thomas_Monson.html

    So, plenty of people accuse the church of fraud, but to what end? Where are the super rich lds leaders and their families? Where are the mansions and the private jets? So, use your critical thinking skills, if money is being defrauded, where is it going? If it is used in investments that pay back to the church, how is that fraud?

    1. @Derek,

      You sure do have a way with euphemism! Way to sugar coat it, baby!

      “There is nothing in the teachings or doctrine that would encourage or tolerate fraudulent behavior.”
      Hmm…maybe the fact that the whole organization was founded by a group of 19th century conmen, Smith, Rigdon and Cowdery, might, to the more thoughtful of us here, have significance. I find an obvious, couldn’t-possibly-make-more-sense-or-be-more-direct connection between the foundations of Mormonism and fraud. It’s hard wired in it’s DNA. That is what it is, it is an equivalency. Nothing could be more clear. There is literally a Mount Everest of evidence to support my assertion…I know, I know, you can’t see it…maybe if you took off your Umim and Thummim you’d find that you’d be able to see things clearly for the first time. It’s a beautiful bright world out here! With no pressure to give us money! Join us, your fellow humans on this planet! We like you, buddy!

      “And as for finances, sure, they don’t open their private financial records to the public, but as a member, you more or less see where it is spent and where it is not.”

      Oh, you mean like the $5 billion they spent on that $2 million mall in SLC? They can see that…kind of, I guess.

      Or how about…from the Postmormon link I provided above:
      Of the $115,126,701 collected in tithing in Canada for the period sampled, $102,900,000 (89.38%) was funneled to BYU.

      Do the Canadian tithe-paying Mormons really understand that? Do those poor Canadians get much back in return from all that money that was sent directly to Salt Lake? Besides the warm fuzzy feeling they get because the quorum of twelve, the bishops, the home teachers, the Ensign, etc endlessly exhort them that giving money to COJCOLDS is what makes you worthy in the sight of gawd? The mormon organization famously doesn’t pay even for janitorial service for their facilities, and uses member slave labor to cover that as well, after accepting their tithing monies. In contrast, look at the ELCA treasurer’s reports, linked above. In the handbook for local congration’s treasurers, it says no expenditures should be kept secret from the congregation. If I’m reading the pie chart correctly on the Where the Money Goes page, more than 90% of money collected with a local congregation stays with the local congregation (the locals are also allowed to hire janitors BTW, lol). No money laundering through St. Olafs College, or whatever their college is, happening there.

      Yeah, SLC headquartered COJCOLDS is world-wide tithe collecting organization…. just like the churches of Amway and Herbalife. It has outposts everywhere it sees an opportunity (though in Islamic countries the organization has met it’s match in an equally ultra controlling culture and it’s unable to get it’s foot in the door, this amuses me no end) . This international situation gives us a an opportunity to peek into some of the financial information because other countries don’t give religious groups a pass on financial transparency the way we do here. Here’s a link with some interesting reports: http://www.mormonthink.com/tithing.htm#howdoes

      “If I saw leadership cruising around in Bentley’s and flaunting gold jewelry and the like, I would definitely be worried”

      Oh yeah, they’re not playing it that way, this is one slick operation and of a different character than say, Michael Johnson making $80 mil a year or whatever his deal is. But it is the same genre, only the myriad details are different. (And BTW, I think I read that Monson is noted to wear a pretty fine watch for a prophet of gawd). The apostles all have multiple homes in Utah, http://mormondisclosures.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-spirit-testifies-of-all-things.html (on-going story), their extended families are all provided for, tuition is covered, cell phones, transportation, etc. etc. etc. Generation after generation after generation in the mormon hierarchy. Almost two hundred years now. They take the long scam view. They have a lot invested in this and. all their little perks add up to a very comfortable living for them and their kinfolk. Not to mention the power and adulation. Then there are all the connections to uber wealthy mormons like Mitt Romney, who prides homself on exploiting any loopholes in the rules. I’m sure they don’t miss any golden opportunities utilizing donations, the tax free status and the convenient financial veil. Who the heck knows how that whole end of it is played…the mind boggles.

      Just out of curiosity, do you think Scientology is a fraud? Do you think Branch Davidianism is a fraud? Do you think Warren Jeff’s is a fraud?

      Do you work for COJCOLDS?

        1. @2+2=4

          Nicely put. Joseph Smith was, of course, himself a convicted fraudster. The events surrounding the “discovery” and “translation” of those mysterious tablets suggest he also never became a “reformed” fraudster, just a more effective one.2+2=4,

      1. @2+2=4,

        “If I saw leadership cruising around in Bentley’s and flaunting gold jewelry and the like, I would definitely be worried”

        Oh yeah, they’re not playing it that way, this is one slick operation and of a different character than say, Michael Johnson making $80 mil a year or whatever his deal is.

        Yeah I just wanted to chime in, in support of this point. In the Danko book “The Millionaire Next Door”, the whole philosophy is about how these self-made millionaires do it by slowly accumulating wealth over the course of their lives by being frugal. The book rips apart the idea that ostentatious displays of wealth are the same as actually having a lot of money.

        Briefly: there is only a slight correlation between amount of income “indicators of wealth”. A person might have all the signs of being wealthy, and a six figure salary, and still be living huge-paycheck to huge-paycheck. Contrariwise, a person might run their own dry cleaning service or plumbing service and be slowly accumulating a huge pile of cash.

        … or so goes the book. It seems like that’s similar to the Protestant work ethic which is, maybe kinda-sorta-ish similar to the Mormon work ethic.

        But it’s easy to accidentally change from

        INDUSTRY
        to
        “industry”

        Furry cows moo and decompress.

      2. @2+2=4,

        “According to U.S. law, religions have no obligation to open their books to the public, and the LDS Church officially stopped reporting any finances in the early 1960s. In 1997 an investigation by Time used cross-religious comparisons and internal information to estimate the church’s total value at $30 billion. The magazine also produced an estimate that $5 billion worth of tithing flows into the church annually, and that it owned at least $6 billion in stocks and bonds. The Mormon Church at the time said the estimates were grossly exaggerated, but a recent investigation by Reuters in collaboration with sociology professor Cragun estimates that the LDS Church is likely worth $40 billion today and collects up to $8 billion in tithing each year.”

        July 18,2012 article:
        http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-07-10/how-the-mormons-make-money#p2

        1. @Jack,

          “Tithing, is the Church’s tax system: a way to generate funds for expanding its reach. It requires the membership to pay 10% of their income to the Church, or else they will not be allowed to have full membership privileges (ie. Participate in temple work, uphold callings, etc.). If one cannot enter the temple, then their spiritual salvation is in jeopardy, and so the pressure to pay for membership status is enormous in the eyes of a true believing Mormon.

          The Church doesn’t disclose what these tithes are funding, beyond the obvious maintenance of Church buildings and temples, and funding charitable work.The Church doesn’t have any transparency and therefore, has no accountability. It’s free to take the tithing money and spend it on funding political campaigns, buying property, building multi-billion-dollar malls,36 or paying its leadership astonishingly high salaries.37 Those who live in a democratic society would never stand for a government who kept its financial books and intentions completely hidden, so why do Mormons allow the Church to hide its own books? If they weren’t hiding anything insidious, they wouldn’t have a problem disclosing their records (at least to its membership). I find it ironic that Glenn Beck, a conservative libertarian and Tea Party activist, would choose to become a Mormon, and be subject to the exact totalitarian rule of which he is so fearful.”

          36 The current construction of the LDS-owned City Creek Mall [and surrounding redevelopment] in downtown Salt Lake City, is currently estimated at a cost of $8 BILLION. [The Mall itself if estimated at $2 Billion. For more information, read this article found in Bloomberg Newsweek entitled, “Latter-day Lucre, How the Mormon Church Makes Its Billions”]

          37 Though the LDS Church has never made its payroll public, leaked information has estimated the Prophet’s profit to be up to a million dollars per year, with additional benefits (such as an expense account, private plane, multiple homes, etc.)

          http://progressiveexmormon.wordpress.com/my-apostasy-story/#37

          1. In the thread below, people who have been members of the Mormon organization describe how the money flow works, from their wards to SLC and then back to their wards. Unlike many churches, in Mormondom, all the member’s collected money is sent immediately to Mormon HQ In SLC. SLC sends back a Very small percentage to the ward/stake for expenses. Who the eff knows what HQ does with all that money? It is not being used for humanitarian aid…outsiders have estimated that at less than 2% of what they take in (but when they do help out the needy, they are sure to publicize it!…so like Herbalife or it’s ilk!). One report estimated that Walmart gives more generously to charity than the mormon organization ( see Mormon Think\tithing section).

            Maybe COJCOLDS is using the money to build some huge mormon (one true religion®)safe house at the bottom of the ocean where they plan to retire when the mormon jaysus alights on earth for the mormon apocalypse.

            Note there is regular tithing but you will also see reference to other offerings such as “fast offerings” which are on top of tithing. One guy in this thread below says 100% of fast offering stays local, but I saw that contradicted just today on the recovery from mormonism board by someone who says only 30-40% of FOs stay locally in his ward, so I would take that comment with a grain of salt.

            Mormons will tell you tithing is voluntary, but as @Barbara noted, psychologically manipulative methods are used to enforce tithing (you SD readers are wise to those games) and there is a huge, suspicious over-emphasis on tithing in this organization’s teaching materials, magazines, conferences, and overall culture. Over emphasis on the $$$ is always religious red flag número uno…

            Here is the archived thread:

            http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon565.htm

            1. Also just want to add a note about the price of the City Creek Mall recently built by COJCOLDS in SLC, the reported cost estimates are all over the place (that $8 bil referenced above is higher than I ‘ve ever seen anywhere else) and it is a multi-part redevelopment deal, with condos and other stuff… adding to the confusion. The lowest estimate for the mall itself that I personally have read is “only”1.4 billion. Other reports say the number was higher.

              But what is interesting is that some people look at it and say, how could that have cost over a billion to build? It looks like it should have cost only in the few millions. Of course, this is just opinion…and I have never seen it personally. However, such assertions make people like me, who like equations to tidily add up, just even more curious about COJCOLDS.

              2+2=4

            2. @2+2=4,

              Because there is so little known about how much money is collected, where it goes, who gets it, etc. that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to arrive at a dollar figure on any project with which the Mormon church is involved.

              Some facts are known, such as:

              “Until the 1990s, wards—the Mormon equivalent of parishes—kept some donated member money locally to distribute for aid and activities as they saw fit. Today all money is wired directly to Salt Lake City.”

              “A study co-written by Cragun and recently published in Free Inquiry estimates that the Mormon Church donates only about 0.7 percent of its annual income to charity; the United Methodist Church gives about 29 percent.”

              The Mormon church is beginning to look more and more like any MLM scheme, a great deal of money for those at the top, very little trickle down to those at the bottom.

              “The businessmen who run the church’s for-profit arms, by contrast, likely hold salaries comparable to what they’d receive in the secular world, says Quinn. In some cases, individual General Authorities augment their salaries by serving as board members of the church’s for-profit companies.”

              We all know what CEO salaries are like in the secular world, in one word, obscene.

              http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-07-10/how-the-mormons-make-money#p1

  13. From the Department of Strange Bedfellows:

    What’s Shurtleff’s association with Scientology?

    “The Utah Meth Cops Project is treating around a dozen former and current police officers at taxpayers’ expense, using a regime devised by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard at a Bio-Cleansing Centers of America facility in Orem, Utah.

    State Attorney General Mark Shurtleff brought the project west after seeing it used to treat emergency workers in New York who were injured working at Ground Zero following the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.”

    The Utah program — funded with an initial $50,000 grant from the state — is being run in conjunction with a $500,000 study into the causal link between chemicals in meth labs and respiratory ailments suffered by around 110 ailing meth cops in the state.

    “Anecdotal stories, to me, is enough, I mean cops who say they couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without stopping to breathe now can,” Shurtleff said.

    Shurtleff shirks off any taxpayer worry about the cost of the program. He plans to appropriate an additional $140,000 to complete the treatment for 20 of the worst cases and hopes to raise private money to finance the rest of the treatments for the others.

    Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/story/2007/11/21/utah-foots-bill-for-ailing-cops-controversial-scientology-based-detox-treatment/#ixzz2XicHmJ83

    And what is this amazing therapy the Scientologists have designed? A B vitamin cocktail and a sauna. That’s it, the whole magical program.

    And how do we know these “meth cops” are indeed suffering from some form of latent meth poisoning? Blood tests? Nope. They say their sweat smells like cat piss.

    Couldn’t the mormon church have come up with a scam like this? Why is Shurtleff willing to cut the scientologists in on the money? Maybe he was promised a visit with Tom Cruise.

  14. “The Internet has scaled a local corruption type problem :: into an epic global mindraping mega-scam type problem … which The New York Times doesn’t seem to care about.”

    It all feels so futile.

    For fucks sake, even Apple, makers of the “iShit” so many fucktards in “The Syndicate” use, is accused of wrongdoing.

    Apple is being sued by the US Department of Justice for price fixing.

    Price fixing!

    Sound familiar?

    That’s the same shit “The Syndicate” is accused of having done.

    When a company that’s as well known and “respected” as Apple is being sued for price fixing, it suggests that fraud is pervasive.

    When it comes to moral turpitude, is there REALLY any difference between Apple and The Syndicate?

    I’m not sure there really is, but am open to being persuaded otherwise.

    It’s sorta depressing because if Apple is a fraud, whose hands are clean?

    1. @Pervasive Fraud, …looks like you chose the right name.

      Apple a real company that sells real products that a very large number of customers like and enjoy.

      The Syndicate is a collection of pyramid scammers that sell a crock of shit designed to rip people off. There are no ‘customers’ for the syndicate. Just affiliated scammers, the syndicate themselves, and then people who are brainwashed / duped / sucked in.

      But you seem to equate The Syndicate to Apple – my guess is that you are exactly a Pervasive Fraud.

      1. @Random stuff,

        “Apple a real company that sells real products that a very large number of customers like and enjoy.”

        I agree! Look at the lines of people waiting around the corner of an Apple Store whenever the company spits out a new version of whatever. I get that part.

        “The Syndicate is a collection of pyramid scammers that sell a crock of shit designed to rip people off. There are no ‘customers’ for the syndicate. Just affiliated scammers, the syndicate themselves, and then people who are brainwashed / duped / sucked in.”

        DUH. I read this blog, too. The evidence is overwhelming that “The Syndicate” were (are) engaged in malfeasance of the worst kind. NO FUCKING ARGUMENT ABOUT THAT! I totally agree.

        “But you seem to equate The Syndicate to Apple – my guess is that you are exactly a Pervasive Fraud.”

        Apple is being sued by the US Department of Justice for PRICE FIXING. Hello?! That’s the same shit The Syndicate is accused of doing! Can ANYONE on this blog SERIOUSLY say with a straight face that “price fixing” is okay when Apple does it?!

        Let me be str8 up — I’m not defending the fucking “Syndicate” — fuck ’em! Never liked them, never will. If this case goes against Apple, and they lose, and the court determines they WERE price fixing… then for fucks sake, WHOSE HANDS ARE CLEAN?!

        1. @Pervasive Fraud,

          Can ANYONE on this blog SERIOUSLY say with a straight face that “price fixing” is okay when Apple does it?!

          Well, I’m not. And then there’s that bitter feud between Samsung and Apple about who invented what regarding smartphone technology.

          Let’s not forget that Microsoft was once sued by the DOJ under anti-trust laws.
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Microsoft_Corporation
          And then again with the European Union
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Union_Microsoft_competition_case

          I think there’s plenty of fraud and scamminess to go around. Where does one draw the line between full-on, scammer and legitimate company that has done some scammy things? I don’t know.

          for fucks sake, WHOSE HANDS ARE CLEAN?!

          I dunno. But certainly not the DOJ’s. IMHO, they have much to answer for regarding their stance on drones and the handling of Aaron Swartz’s case (which, IMHO probably shouldn’t even have been a case).

          Let he who is not guilty prove as much by redressing the harm done by ignoring the principle of habeas corpus for the gitmo “detainees”.

        2. @Pervasive Fraud ::

          Seems like you’ve got a pretty serious case of the false equivalencies :: you best have that checked out by a logic doctor … or something.

          “WHOSE HANDS ARE CLEAN?!”

          No one’s … no doubt. There is no such thing as purity.

          Apple {like most of corporate America} doesn’t pay their fair share of taxes either … very naughty even if it’s all right and proper.

          But the difference between Microsoft fucking over Netscape with monopoly practices :: and Frank Kern or Jeremy Johnson fucking over your grandma so hard she commits suicide … is so large as to make the comparison meaningless/moot/harmful.

          “Apple does it too …” is a fucking cliched defense used by these assholes to justify their dark deeds. If you’ve never noticed that :: then maybe you don’t read this blog as much as you think.

          DUH.

          1. @SD,

            “Seems like you’ve got a pretty serious case of the false equivalencies :: you best have that checked out by a logic doctor … or something. ”

            I looked up false equivalencies because I didn’t know what it meant. And I see what you’re saying, and maybe there’s something to what you’re saying in this context. Apple (presumably) doesn’t have meetings in which they plot to fuck over their customers. Maybe (and it’s still a maybe, because the case is still in court)… but maybe Apple price fixes. That’s a per se violation. Does the Syndicate price fix? You’ve provided a shitload of evidence that suggests YES, they do. Apple price fixing and The Syndicate price fixing… it’s really fucked up all the way around.

            “No one’s … no doubt. There is no such thing as purity. ”

            This is where I get hung up. I need a doctor to fix my brain from seeing things so black-and-white. You’ll see what I mean in a second.

            “Apple {like most of corporate America} doesn’t pay their fair share of taxes either … very naughty even if it’s all right and proper. ”

            I get that, I mean, they’ve got teams of tax people who are instructed to follow the letter (and not the spirit) of the tax laws. That’s an easy fix. Just change the tax code. But who is responsible for that? Oh that’s right, the same fuckers who collect campaign contributions by the truckload from the companies dodging their fair share.

            “But the difference between Microsoft fucking over Netscape with monopoly practices :: and Frank Kern or Jeremy Johnson fucking over your grandma so hard she commits suicide … is so large as to make the comparison meaningless/moot/harmful. ”

            If THIS is REALLY what we’re dealing with… documented evidence where people are LITERALLY killing themselves as a result of the harm they’ve been caused by “The Syndicate”… then yes, that’s RADICALLY different than Apple fucking over their customers with higher prices or colluding with publishers to price gouge e-book buyers.

            Remember a moment ago where I said I see things in black and white too often? I need help when it comes to this issue… because if it’s true people are literally KILLING THEMSELVES as a result of the shit that “The Syndicate” are doing, and nobody in government will do anything about it despite your repeated efforts… I dunno, I just don’t understand how a sane mind responds to a situation like that. Again, this is assuming people are actually DYING. Not metaphorically… “fuck, I’m ‘dead’ broke again because I bought that latest Syndicate frauduct…” but rather, more like DEAD as in gone.

            That’s why I think it’s easier for me to cope by painting the entire world as being filled with pervasive fraud. You said it best yourself once.. the long war against the long con. You’re persistent. I think I get fired up, believe there can be change that happens quickly (especially in the face of OBVIOUS evidence) and then get *REALLY* fucking discouraged when, as far as I can see, “The Syndicate” just keep rolling along.

            Then I start trying to tell myself that maybe those guys really aren’t that bad and that YOU are the one who is all fucked up. When that doesn’t work (because the evidence is so overwhelming), I look around and see “pervasive fraud” in the rest of the world. Priests fucking kids. Politicians lying. Apple being sued for price fixing. So then EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is a fraud. Another coping mechanism.

            What I got to understand is that taking a principled stand against OBVIOUS fraud is noble and courageous. It often gets results, too, because we still live in a world where the majority people are fundamentally good. I have to understand, however, that the success comes from working to effect change. Not from the change itself occurring (because it might never occur).

            I also need to take a “chill pill” because coming in here and ranting and raving like a fucking crazy person just feeds into the perception that already exist that people who are against OBVIOUS fraud are all “losers” and a bunch of “haters” …. when really, the goal is to stop vulnerable people from being taken advantage of by OBVIOUS fraud.

        3. @Pervasive Fraud,

          SD’s point sums it up.

          Plus Apple is not yet convicted of price fixing, and looks like they might not be…

          http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/apple/10133485/Apples-day-of-reckoning-arrives-in-ebook-price-fixing-trial.html

          If you want to pretend that Apple is at the same level of malfeasance as the Syndicate – you are just pretending…. or do you really equate a professionally published e-book bought for an iPad to a ‘product’ of the Syndicate?

          You might want to find a valid example of how the Syndicate are as bad as everyone else (and therefor not as bad???).

          Hint “str8 up” : you can’t.

          1. @Random stuff,

            “SD’s point sums it up.”

            Ok, I’ll reply to that in a second.

            “Plus Apple is not yet convicted of price fixing, and looks like they might not be…”

            Who the FUCK has convicted “The Syndicate” ??? Last time I checked, those motherfuckers are still at it! The only thing close to a “conviction” was when Frank was sued by the FTC, and he settled. But he’s still at it! Just like Apple will “still be at it” even if they lose their case. NOTHING FUCKING CHANGES! Same shit, different fucking day.

            Just do a search for the latest Syndicate launch, called “Video Genesis” – even our main man Frank Kern makes a cameo appearance! These fucking people are LAUGHING their way to the goddam bank. It’s beyond infuriating.

            “If you want to pretend that Apple is at the same level of malfeasance as the Syndicate – you are just pretending…. or do you really equate a professionally published e-book bought for an iPad to a ‘product’ of the Syndicate?”

            Price fixing is price fixing. It’s the SAME shit that the Syndicate are accused of!

            “You might want to find a valid example of how the Syndicate are as bad as everyone else (and therefor not as bad???).”

            According to what I’ve read on this blog, “The Syndicate” is bad because they charge ABOVE market prices for their shit and market it to regular people, and because they engage in price fixing. Hmmm. Apple seems to charge WAY more than eMachines for a fucking computer that does the same basic shit. And now Apple is on trial for price fixing. Apple also targets ordinary people.

            “Hint “str8 up” : you can’t.”

            And you CAN??

            1. @Pervasive Fraud,

              Taking the point from your response to SD…

              “If THIS is REALLY what we’re dealing with… documented evidence where people are LITERALLY killing themselves as a result of the harm they’ve been caused by “The Syndicate”… then yes, that’s RADICALLY different than Apple fucking over their customers with higher prices or colluding with publishers to price gouge e-book buyers. ”

              …but to my mind using brain washing techniques… http://saltydroid.info/sheeple-part-5-mind-raping/ and then emptying vulnerable’s peoples bank accounts, and then maxing out their credit cards, to the point of destitution, is far more serious than Apple arranging for a bit more to be charged for an genuine ebook. But also, frankly, if it is Apple’s exclusive platform they should be able to decide what prices books sell on their platform. They are not telling, as far as I am aware, what prices Amazon must sell at on their Kindle platform. If Apple is pricing too high – then the market is open for other people to put a cheaper better platform up and charge less.

              Re suicides…

              http://saltydroid.info/who-killed-colleen-conaway/

              …and you say you read this blog? One suicide is enough. That there are more out there to my mind would go without saying. How many documented cases of suicide would you want in order to understand the point. And please don’t start talking about suicides in Apple contractor factories: that is also henious. So is war. So is child abuse. It should all be stopped. The problem is that the syndicate’s crime is easier to hide – and mainstream journalists are just not interested, or lack the insight to understand.

              The Syndicate should be prosecuted way in advance of Apple.

              The problem with the Syndicate is that they execute silent crime on large numbers of individuals who have been brainwashed into blaming themselves for failure, and therefor take it without understanding that they have been abused.

              Apple provide products that people buy because they enjoy them. Putting Apple in the same bucket as the Syndicate is not correct from my perspective by any stretch of the imagination.

              The Syndicate – every single last one of them – should be fined to penury, or put in prison. The fact that they continue to operate with impunity, is a blatant and shameful failure of justice systems. The problem is that their crime is based firstly on the removal of freedom of thought – making the concept of ‘caveat emptor’ no longer relevant – and justice systems are not geared up for crimes that create and then abuse mental weaknesses.

              Ranting about the syndicate is understandable.

              Putting Apple in the same bucket as the syndicate is just plain wrong, and creates the illusion that the sydicate is just guilty of price fixing…. which is really the very least of issue. Your argument is disingenuous – whether you mean it to be or not.

  15. Candace Salima is a lying sack of shit. Her Valor publishing company that brought out Shurtleff’s sorry excuse of a book also publishes what Candace claims will be the next J.K. Rowling. Here is an excerpt from Candace Salima’s “honest” review of a Valor published title, “The Armor of Light”:

    Most Helpful Customer Reviews ***** Five Star
    A Skillfully Woven Story by New Author, Karen E. Hoover
    By Candace E. Salima on January 27, 2013

    “I’m not a huge fan of fantasy and science fiction, but I have to admit, Karen E. Hoover has me thoroughly hooked, anxiously awaiting the next book, The Emerald Wolf, which is rumored to be released within the next few months. I can not only recommend The Armor of Light to everyone, I can safely say your children will devour this book, I know I did, and I’m 49. It can’t be long before Hoover’s books find their way to the silver screen. They are that good!”
    ***************************************************************************

    “Rumored” to be released in the next few months, Candace? Rumored? You are the goddamned publisher, you know exactly when it will be released. Nowhere in this glowing review does Candace Salima ever admit to being the publisher of this book and having a monetary interest in its book sales.

  16. 0 of 4 people found the following review helpful
    A Must Read for Every American, October 22, 2009
    By
    Candace E. Salima “Lioness SA5” (Utah, USA)

    “Am I Not a Man? The Dred Scott Story” is a must-buy for every home, school and public library.”

    *****************************************************************************

    Yep, it’s a must buy, as Candace says, but of course she never discloses her relationship with the author, never states that she publishes the book and has a financial interest in the book’s success.

    I reported the review as inappropriate to Amazon but I have no hope that they’ll remove it, they’ve published the complete dishonest reviews of Harriet Klausner for many years now.

  17. What a rabble rouser and liar:

    “But the difference between Microsoft fucking over Netscape with monopoly practices :: and Frank Kern or Jeremy Johnson fucking over your grandma so hard she commits suicide … ”

    $27 from Jeremy Johnson’s Grants really makes someone commit suicide. NOT!

    Want to argue? Look at Ripoff report. All the complaints are under $500. That does not make someone commit suicide. As crooked and sleazy the guy was, you are still a liar.

    Or $3000 from Frank selling advanced business material where everyone loves his products.

    Want to know what makes people commit suicide? BANKS that were given a bail out by your “You got this” happiness.

    What an idiot this guy SD is. Dude you are such an OBVIOUS shill for big government.

    1. @Alex J ::

      “$27 Grants” has almost nothing to do with what lead broker :: and piece of shit fucking pond scum … Jeremy Johnson was all about. The out of touch peeps in our “big government” might not understand that :: but I certainly do … so bite me.

      This is what JJ is all about …

      http://saltydroid.info/scamming-two-debbies/

      And just so you know chuckles :: The Man is just as afraid of me and my unpredictable nature … as JJ and his posse of mud eaters.

      Got any other dumb things to say? Because people saying dumb things is how I get most of my calories.

      PS :: The banks are worse than the scammers :: but that’s gotta be someone else’s department … I’m already busy.

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