Am I Not A Lawyer?

Every motherfucking horror show on display-archive here :: can be traced back to Mark Shurtleff via a not-fun not-drinking game I like to call … Six Degrees of Rotten Bacon. The Internet has scaled a local corruption type problem :: into an epic global mindraping mega-scam type problem … which The New York Times doesn’t seem to care about.

Eternity in Mormon hell would probably be just enough time for Mark Shurtleff to repay the debt he owes to the universe for his direct personal contribution to a great black cloud of human suffering :: but given his rank in The Church … I guess he’s actually more in line to become the god of his own planet …

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Fuck You Leonard Coldwell Motherfucker

Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Leonard Coldwell :: board certified PHDoctor … has had enough of me. Last time I talked to him :: and he didn’t have the man-sack to talk back to me … I was calling him Barbara. He loved it :: in a sexual way … allegedly. But I guess it’s not fun to threaten someone who offers to die in the streets :: and let’s face it …

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Crystal Cox’s 5th Amendment Rights

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into …”

… said some peeps from Crystal Cox’s past and present after I slapped her a couple times across her puffy dumb dumb face.

Whatevers :: says me :: you peeps got no idea what I’m already into … this one is nothing to me.

Crystal Cox’s freaknuts bullshit predates the Internet :: just ask anyone who has ever come within sniffing distance of her grandma pants.

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WikiFreaks and PoserGeeks

Julian Assange has been stuffed into a rape box :: and now mean old Uncle Sam is sticking his Jr. Henry Kissinger into the glory hole …

… or something.

It’s not totally clear what the pasty little shitweasel meant yesterday when he said …

“Five-and-a-half months we have been in a condition where a black box has been applied to my life. On the outside of that black box has been written the word ‘rape.’

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Julian Assange :: World’s Worst Screw

Have you heard about how my new hit movie is coming out just in time for the holidayz?  It’s going to be quite gay {but not in a gay way!}.  All of our favorite characters/bastards will be there :: even wannabe Jesus {Irwin F. Kern … not in a manger} :: so that should be fun and festive. Buy some popcorn :: a Survival Seed Bank :: and get ready for a Christmas Miracle …

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