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Salty Droid

SaltyDroid vs. WikiLeaks

Julian Assange has RasputinEyes™ :: it’s not a fucking compliment.

Grigori Rasputin is famous for nothing. He was a mystic :: or a healer :: or a prophet :: or a monk :: blah blah bullshit … he was a creepy fucking poser that made everything :: and everyone :: around him worse. The plague of sociopathic narcissists has been percolating for centuries. It’s always in the eyes.

Ms. Assange is the founder of WikiLeaks :: which like Rasputin :: isn’t quite exactly anything. But the magical power of self-proclamation that proved so effective against the Romanovs still works on the web :: and WikiLeaks has mystically become …

… synonymous with free speech.

They are “opening governments” …

… see … they made that picture to prove it. Science!

According to Princess Ass-ange

“I am the heart and soul of this organization, its founder, philosopher, spokesperson, original coder, organizer, financier, and all the rest …”

And if you don’t like it … you can get the fuck out.

If you’re a nerd {and you probably are} then you’re genetically predisposed toward liking WikiLeaks. Your nerdy little mind is telling you that WikiLeaks is just like Wikipedia … but for leaked documents. Concerned parties can contribute controversial documents anonymously and have them published on the web for all to see. The site agrees to protect the publication :: come hell or oily water :: in a way that lone individuals never could. Maybe throw in a dash of crowd-sourcing for labor intensive tasks like tagging and categorization … and openness may be marginally increased. Openness is good. Truthful information is good.

But your nerdy little mind is wrong :: WikiLeaks is nothing like that. According to their About page

“When information comes in, our journalists analyse the material, verify it and write a news piece about it describing its significance to society. We then publish both the news story and the original material in order to enable readers to analyse the story in the context of the original source material themselves. Our news stories are in the comfortable presentation style of Wikipedia, although the two organisations are not otherwise related. Unlike Wikipedia, random readers can not edit our source documents.”

  • “Random readers” not allowed

  • Collaboration not allowed

  • Editorial judgement exercised about what to print :: when to print it :: and how it is “significant”

That’s not new :: or cool :: or Internet hip … it’s just the same old shit {except worse}.

WikiLeaks is not a neutral conduit finally facilitating the freedom of raw data {which would be very interesting} :: it’s just one of the tens of thousands of outlets editorializing the world through its own skewed perspective {not particularly interesting}. Long term :: it will be exactly as valuable as the organization and people doing the editorializing. Unfortunately :: at the “heart and soul” of WikiLeaks there is a stinking :: rotting :: pale white turd who doesn’t deserve to be listened to … or taken seriously.

Julian’s first “big story” tells the whole tale of the non-value of his editorial voice. The story is based on forty minutes of leaked footage showing an Apache helicopter killing people in Baghdad. It’s gruesome … and horrible … and hard to watch. Among the dead are numerous civilians :: and two Reuters reporters … Saeed Chmagh and Namir Noor-Eldeen.

Lots of civilians die in wars. Millions in past wars … hundreds of thousands in the more current varietals. If this is news to you :: then you are a moron. The United States of America fired bombed Dresden and Tokyo into ashes … intentionally killing most of the civilian population. We carpet bombed in Vietnam :: Cambodia :: Laos :: and Korea. Oh … and there was that whole thing with us dropping the atomic bomb … TWICE.

What constitutes “murder” in the context of a war … where massive death is the desired outcome … and the loss of innocent life inevitable?

I don’t fucking know. That’s the answer. I don’t know :: and neither does Julian Assange. But that didn’t stop him from calling this video … and its associated website … Collateral Murder.


Fuck you :: you pasty nobody!

As The New Yorker points out …

“In the month before the video was shot, members of the battalion on the ground, from the Sixteenth Infantry Regiment, had suffered more than a hundred and fifty attacks and roadside bombings, nineteen injuries, and four deaths; early that morning, the unit had been attacked by small-arms fire.”

People are trying to kill them. Their friends are dying. Many have suffered intense brain traumas that they’ll never recover from. They are overworked :: and underpaid :: and are separated from their families for fucking years at a time. This war was NOT their idea. If any group of people deserve the benefit of the fucking doubt :: and the absolute guarantee of due process BEFORE judgment :: it’s the dudes we send to die by rockets and bombs so that we can commute sixty miles each day to Stepford Wives Villas where our fat :: spoiled :: children won’t have to brush up against any black people.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t rules :: or that crimes can’t be committed on the battlefield. But the calling out of an individual soldier must be done with extreme delicacy by those who have been afforded the luxury of not being fucking soldiers. “Collateral Murder” is appropriately delicate in the same way that Madonna is appropriately chaste.

But some good did come from this tawdry and immature framing of one of society’s most complex issues :: RasputinEyes drew attention to himself :: and raised money for himself. Tweets he

What the fuck? Seriously! What the fuck?

Hey douche bag :: real journalists fucking DIED in that video footage you just exploited for your own gain! They were walking around the streets of Baghdad in 2007 with their cameras :: along with sketchy characters who were carrying weapons :: and they got gunned down by 30 mm cannon fire {holy shit!}. I’m no journalism expert :: but that seems like pretty heroic levels of “doing it” to me. Have some fucking respect you ridiculous bastard!!

One thing real journalists are not allowed to do is question WikiLeaks :: or its useless twit/twat of a leader. After The New York Times ran an unflattering story about what a self-absorbed asshole Assange is {paraphrasing} … Julian tweets

That “tabloid” profile was written by John F. Burns :: who has only won TWO Pulitzers for his brave journalism in shithole situations all across the globe … including Iraq and Afghanistan where Mr. Burns has apparently been wasting his recent years not “doing it”.

When US Defense Secretary Robert Gates was critical of WikiLeaks release of unredacted documents :: possibly exposing intelligence sources to danger :: WikiLeaks squeals

He killed thousands? He was an intelligence officer in the CIA :: the Director of the CIA :: and then the President of Texas A&M University. When did he do all his killing? And a petulant tweet is how you respond to serious criticism from the more than gentlemanly Secretary of Defense?

You think I’m irresponsible? –> Well then you’re a mass murderer!!!

The Apache footage :: the Iraq war documents :: the Afghanistan documents :: and the most recent State Department cables … all seem to have come from one massive leak by US Army intelligence analyst Pfc. Bradley Manning. Assange claims that he didn’t assist or solicit the security breach {which would probably have been a crime} :: he’s just benevolently passing it on in a way that’s sure to change the world into a magical fairy wonderland where the White Witch of Anarchy brings peace to all the peoples … happily ever after amen {vomit!}.

And naturally :: his royal highness doesn’t have time to do any reading or writing about the documents :: what with all his personal appearances :: applause acceptances :: constant begging for them monies :: and Swedish boob rubbings. If you want to learn anything about what’s in these precious documents … you’ll have to read the “tabloid” reporters who don’t believe in “doing it” like the queen does.

So he doesn’t go get the information :: and he doesn’t write about it in any useful way … what the fuck does he do?

Well :: he begs for money … and talks about himself in preposterous terms

The old “Person of the Year” protection that did so much for lucky 1977 winner Anwar Sadat {assassinated in 1981} :: or even luckier 1963 winner Martin Luther King Jr. {assassinated in 1968}.

Vote Julian for Person of the Year :: he emailed some documents {that some other dude emailed him} to The New York Times … oh and also he made a YouTube video.

Winner!! I hope Jules and 1938’s winner :: Hitler :: are very happy together.

“But Droid :: he doesn’t do nothing … he provides a secure/anonymous channel for leakers to submit information” :: says someone who still uses Windows XP.

What the hell are you talking about Windows XP? You’re dumb. Anonymous submission is an already solved problem. People submit all sorts of crazy stuff to The Salty Droid anonymously :: the webz is awesome like that. And while Julian might be good at talking up his mad encryption skillz … it seems maybe he’s not so good about the actual delivery.

According to

“On June 12, Wikileaks’ secure submission page stopped working after the site failed to renew its SSL certificate, a basic web protection that costs less than $30 a year and takes only hours to set up …

A May profile in the New Yorker reported that Wikileaks had been receiving about 30 document submissions a day when it was fully operational. With its Tor Hidden Service down, and now its SSL submission page missing, the average Wikileaks leaker would seem to be blocked.”

I’ll bet my nuts-n-bolts that the 30 leaks per day figure was a lie. The number of brave people in the world who are willing to risk their ass/assets is infinitesimally small :: it’s a miracle that such people exist at all. And if you were going to put your ass on the line … why would you rely on this little dirt bag? His most prominent source is currently facing 52 years in prison according to a report on boingboing that contained this kickass graphic …

WikiLeaks pledged to help Pfc. Manning with his legal costs :: but they still haven’t :: fucking ghetto. Future leakers are advised to send their documents directly to actual journalists … cut out the white monkey brigade middleman.

The same New Yorker article that Wired mentioned also had this interesting tidbit …

“Before launching the site, Assange needed to show potential contributors that it was viable. One of the WikiLeaks activists owned a server that was being used as a node for the Tor network. Millions of secret transmissions passed through it. The activist noticed that hackers from China were using the network to gather foreign governments’ information, and began to record this traffic. Only a small fraction has ever been posted on WikiLeaks, but the initial tranche served as the site’s foundation, and Assange was able to say, “We have received over one million documents from thirteen countries.”

But they “received” it by hacking a hacker? The Tor network is how many people and operations :: including WikiLeaks :: attempt to maintain their privacy. If WikiLeaks pulled one million documents from a Tor stream … then they likely have all sorts of sensitive material that has nothing to do with government imperialism or mass murderings. Just people’s regular old private stuff. Privacy may be less important than speech :: but it’s still fucking important. It’s still a good :: and a virtue :: and something that we’ve all agreed upon.

But Julian doesn’t believe in other people’s right to privacy :: and naturally :: Wired is crap

And hows come the Knight Foundation won’t give WikiLeaks one of their $500K grants to support digital age journalism? Could it possibly be because there were other worthy candidates? Nope

Knight Foundation sucks crap! How dare they find impact elsewhere?!? Just another stooge of the mass murderers I suppose.

Oh and by the wayz :: WikiLeaks is DOWN!

He couldn’t even do that one fucking thing. All this bullshit talk ahead of time about rotating mirrors inside unstoppable bunker flux capacitors :: but come crunch time … he’s down like a bitch in the first round. He was dropped from PayPal :: from his DNS server :: and then from Amazon hosting after pressure by the US Government.

So the plan was to piss all over the American government :: insult the egos of most of the world’s other leaders :: and then host all that shit on the servers of one of America’s largest {and awesomest} companies?

Worst :: plan :: ever.

But Julian will have his tweet vengeance

Oh snap! If Amazon was a nine year old girl she would so be crying right now.

Speaking of nine year old girls … this whole Amazon situation makes the EFF {an advocate for free speech on the web} have a hissy fit

“Suddenly, WikiLeaks has become the Internet’s scapegoat, with a Who’s Who of American and foreign companies choosing to shun the site.

Let’s be clear — in the United States, at least, WikiLeaks has a fundamental right to publish truthful political information. And equally important, Internet users have a fundamental right to read that information and voice their opinions about it. We live in a society that values freedom of expression and shuns censorship. Unfortunately, those values are only as strong as the will to support them — a will that seems to be dwindling now in an alarming way.”

You’re alarmed that Amazon bowed to pressure from The United States of America? was removed from BlueHost after pressure from Chris Zavadowski.



Let’s be clear – the corporate web is ready to banish anyone :: without notice or process :: at the first whiff of trouble. It’s not in their financial interest to host sites that have passionate haters :: and there is no penalty for refusing to host someone’s lawful content. It’s a dreadfully important and serious issue :: because the Internet could enable a revolution of free speech at the fringes. Speech from the previously unheard :: from the disenfranchised :: from the abused customer :: the recovering cult victim :: or the part-time activist … that’s the shit that matters. Holding up :: and propping up :: uber-poser Julian Assange will only make things worse.

The Government has the right to take an idiotic public stand against WikiLeaks in the same way that WikiLeaks has the right to take an idiotic public stand against the government. There’s no clause in the Constitution that says Senator Lieberman can’t bitch and moan about stuffs. If the government tries to bring criminal charges against Assange for the simple publication of the information :: then a stand for principle in spite of specifics is probably warranted. But if no such actions are taken :: then let Julian Assange drown in the mud hole that he’s dug for himself.

I fanatically support free speech :: I support transparency and openness :: I support punk fucking rock Internet awesomeness … but Julian Assange and his RasputinEyes can definitely BiteMe!

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