Mark Shurtleff :: Orange is the New Green

Shurtleff-Swallow-Utah-Mugshot-MLM

Two former attorneys general of the scam state of Utah :: Mark Shurtleff and John Swallowhave just been arrested.

Wow :: OMFG … that felt so good to say. I wanna do it again!

Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow … have just been arrested.

Holy shit! :: felt just as good the second time.

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Suck and Swallow

Swallow-Resigns

irt bag :: piece of shit :: fuck stupid cog in the sick machine … John Swallow … may be set to resign as Utah’s Attorney General.

The Deseret News

Embattled Utah Attorney General John Swallow has cut a deal with the lieutenant governor’s office to resign in order to avoid facing criminal charges, a source told the Deseret News…

In lieu of the criminal charges,

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Emmediate Political Solutions

John-Swallow-has-friends

This Salt Lake City Weekly cover story is fucking amazing :: in a “sticking it to the badguys” kind of way … and fucking depressing … in a “this is how it’s going in our society” kind of way. Bad Company: An ex-con who says he raised funds for John Swallow is nowhere to be found on the AG’s campaign records. Eric Peterson :: “crushing it”… to use a totally pointless phrase popularized by someone totally pointless who I fucking hate.

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Am I Not A Lawyer?

Every motherfucking horror show on display-archive here :: can be traced back to Mark Shurtleff via a not-fun not-drinking game I like to call … Six Degrees of Rotten Bacon. The Internet has scaled a local corruption type problem :: into an epic global mindraping mega-scam type problem … which The New York Times doesn’t seem to care about.

Eternity in Mormon hell would probably be just enough time for Mark Shurtleff to repay the debt he owes to the universe for his direct personal contribution to a great black cloud of human suffering :: but given his rank in The Church … I guess he’s actually more in line to become the god of his own planet …

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Krispy Kreme Konservatives

Utah’s new {but already fucking corrupt} Attorney General John Swallow is a “real conservative” :: not some fake ass conservative like Mitt Romney … or Hitler. “Real conservatives” make home-craft-sunset-word-art for Republican nominating conventions :: fake conservatives move to Berkeley and get AIDS … simple as that.

… or something.

It’s lucky for Mr. Swallow that he’s a “real conservative” :: because he’s certainly not a “real lawyer”

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