The Seed Hedge
A fine piece of {shit} Internet Marketing recently featured on The Colbert Report. Congrats to Bill Heid for being mocked on cable :: an honor for which there should be an associated medal or something.
Bill has been running commercials during Glen Beck’s totally reasonable show for his totally reasonable product :: The Survival Seed Bank. $150 for some seeds that will finally allow you to plant that “Crisis Garden” that you’ve always dreamt of in your nightmares {Disclaimer: The preceding should not be interpreted to imply that a “Crisis Garden” is an actual thing. Any similarities between the words “Crisis Garden” and actual things are purely coincidental}.
“You don’t have to be an Old Testament prophet to see what’s going on all around us. A belligerent lower class demanding handouts. A rapidly diminishing middle class crippled by police state bureaucracy. An aloof, ruling elite that has introduced us to an emerging totalitarianism which seeks control over every aspect of our lives.”
You don’t HAVE to be an Old Testament prophet :: but it would seriously help. For instance :: if you’ve recently spent any amount of time living inside of a giant whale :: then you’ll likely have an easier time “seeing” things from this paint huffing perspective.
But Bill’s not some sissy liberal vegan fag :: he knows that even during an apocalyptic crisis patriotic Americans will need to eat them some meat. That’s why he also sells the $200 Crisis Cooker :: which utilizes his patented FireIzHot system in combination with the proprietary HeatRises™ technology in order to effectively transform food into its highly desirable non-raw form.
But remember {actual quote} …
“P.S.S. Don’t forget to start buying bags of charcoal while you can. Buy a few bags at a time so as not to grow suspicion.”
Seriously people :: grow crisis gardens :: not suspicion. Suspicion requires far too much fertilizer :: and only yields empty calories that go right to the beer gut.
Not convinced that Obama is going to usher in the {Charcoal and Arable Land Still Available} End Times? That’s cool :: then rather than buying this horribly worthless shite :: you can sell it to folk more fearful than yourself by signing up for Bill’s affiliate program :: tactfully called Huge Wads of Money …
“I’ve worked with some of the biggest names in direct response and was copywriting legend Gary Halbert’s business partner for the last 10 years of his life …
But it wasn’t until the economic crisis began in 2007 that I found a vein of pure gold. As the world economy came to a screeching halt and the credit markets shut down, I stumbled upon the most successful formula of my 30 plus in direct marketing, and this is your lucky day, because I’m about to share with you exactly what that secret is.”
Spoiler Alert :: the secret is fear mongering. And with fear mongering {unlike many other kinds of mongering} you can sleep well knowing that …
“In addition to earning a great passive income, you’ll have the knowledge that you are providing solutions with real value, not just digital products with questionable worth.”
Exactly :: because if the problem doesn’t actually exist :: then any “solution” has “worth.”
“It doesn’t matter whether you share the same world view as these customers or not… but you’d be a fool to ignore the birth of a massive new industry right before our eyes!
And the worse things get, the better you’ll do, because many consumers are just now becoming aware of their dependence on a way of life which may be gone forever and which will require a dramatic process of education and preparation.”
Because if you can’t exploit people when they are afraid and down on their luck :: then when can you exploit them? If not now :: then when?
Oh and one last thing {speaking of digital products with questionable worth} :: Bill reminds you to HIDE YOUR FUCKING GUNS :: OMG!! :: Hurry … fake time is running out!
“If you’re shocked by straight talk about the nature of the crisis facing our country, this book may not be for you. And if you’re a liberal and are offended by talk about God and country, this is definitely not for you.
However, if you fear the direction our country is headed and you are the kind of patriotic American who wants to take responsibility for your loved ones, read on…
In Hide Your Guns, I explain exactly how you can use creative techniques to hide things, even if you’re renting your house or don’t want to do any major remodeling … As the crisis facing our country grows more serious by the day, the need for a weapons or a food cache outside of our homes becomes more necessary.”
Act Now before the Blacks n’ Jews find your Luger P08 :: and Hitler is forced to roll over in his grave.
>> bleep bloop
-------------More fabulously hilarious writing ::
- Russell Brunson Rocks the Kasbah It’s a bird :: it’s a plane :: it’s...
- BluePrint to Cult Riches Mind Control Made Easy or How to Become a...
- Syndicate Scarcity I’m sorry :: do to higher than expected demand...
- The Syndicate Presents James Arthur Ray Why am I failing? Have you ever asked yourself...
- Copyblogger :: Six Figure Commenting Fourscore and yesterday :: at 3 am Robot Standard...
:: read one now before you die of stupid.
Would this be the same “William R. Heid” who got nailed a few years back for a diet scam? http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2005/himalayan.html
I’m glad you’ve turned your loving attention to the “doomer-porn” marketers, SD. Here’s another one, whose site looks almost identical to Bill H’s (Courier typeface and all): http://www.stockpilefood.com/
The Stockpile Food guy is a regular advertiser on the web site for the Kevin Trudeau Radio Network. KTRN is a rich mine; along with Law of Attraction/New-Wage stuff you get ads to help you cope with the End Times. http://www.ktradionetwork.com/
True-dough, of course, has claimed a big share of the doomer-porn market — it’s a natural tie-in to his shtick of selling the secrets that “they” don’t want you to know about.
But…shhhh! Don’t tell anyone.
WINNER!! ::
+14
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:26 am
@Connie ::
Awesome! :: that’s the same d-bag for sure. Here’s a classified ad for it {isn’t google’s scanning project the greatest?!}
http://bit.ly/ctMqc5
And the web archive of the page it directs to …
http://web.archive.org/web/20031010135218/http://www.orderhdb.com/
… and “doomer-porn” is pretty high-larious.
[Reply]
Cosmic Connie Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
SD, and Dave: I wish I could claim credit for coining the term “doomer-porn” but I can’t. It just seemed kind of appropriate here, though.
And Dave, thanks for bringing up Blair’s One Sentence Persuasion Course. I sure miss seeing Blair’s wit online.
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Good grief. This kind of crap deserves some serious eye-rolling. I wonder if some of those seeds are Cuban Gold….
The whole thing draws to my mind Blair Warren’s one sentence persuasion concept:
“People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions and help them throw rocks at their enemies.”
Guys like this turd understand this concept perfectly well, and use it with malicious effectiveness.
The fact is, right, left, guru, whateva’, people taking advantage of fear and vulnerability to make a buck are despicable. For the trolls, yes, I mean ANY person, organization, affiliation, etc.. They deserve nothing but contempt.
…and a swift kick in the jimmy. Can’t forget that.
WINNER!! ::
+12
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@CC – “doomer-porn”? That’s fabulously hilarious.
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Quick Question….
Is putting D-bags out of business like this dude REALLY helping the people who would by this crap?
Seriously, maybe we need to get the customer lists and offer some type of help because I don’t think taking the product off the market is going to change them or make their situation any better. We are trying to help them RIGHT… save them from themselves so it seems?
No wipe off the sarcasm for a sec… and what is the answer? In all seriousness.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
@TrainWreck ::
Everything linked to there is stupid and abusive. End of story … in all seriousness.
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Watching The Train Wreck Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
@SD, Your absolutely right. Stupid and Abusive. The guy is obviously scum. Absolutely no disagreement.
But how does he even have a market? That I don’t get. I am just looking for some open exchange.
… without people buying this shit, this guy doesn’t exist.
They are ultimately the victim right? So how do we help them change?
[Reply]
Cosmic Connie Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
@Watching The Train Wreck, You ask legitimate questions, IMO. Here’s my take on it: This Heid guy may be small-time, but he’s feeding into big-time paranoia. (And he seems to be a repeat scammer, judging from the diet scheme he had going a while back.) If he’s advertising on Glenn Beck’s show, as SD indicated, he has a pretty wide audience, I would think. And as I mentioned in one of my previous comments, let’s not forget Kevin Trudeau — who is anything BUT small-time and has also tapped into the paranoia (or doomer-porn) market in a huge way.
WINNER!! ::
+7
[Reply]
mirele Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
@Cosmic Connie
If he’s advertising on Glenn Beck, he has to have some (possibly ill-gotten) money…o wait…Beck’s been the target of an ongoing campaign to get his advertisers to go elsewhere. So maybe this sekrit garden dude is getting his advertising for cheap. And what an audience! Beck’s listeners are rather undiscriminating in their beliefs, no?
[Reply]
evpstud Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
@Watching The Train Wreck,
You get people to change by inviting them to this blog…DUH
Education is the only way to help people change their own minds, because anybody proved wrong against their will, remains of the same opinion still.
People need to know the truth. They need to spend less time watching these losers peddling their stuff and doing real due diligence on what they buy. As famed truth seeker Fox Mulder believed… “The Truth is Out There”, right?
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
@TrainWreck ::
This kind of marketing is the same as all the other kinds discussed here :: it seeks to {and does} feed the very neurosis that it claims to offer “solutions” for. “This guy” does exist without people buying this shit. Because he’d find some other place to free ride off of other people’s suffering. The “helping victims change” discussion isn’t going to happen here … because it’s stupid.
[Reply]
Watching The Train Wreck Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
@SD,
Your frustrating me…
I am not in anyway trying to defend the guy. I think I need to broaden by definition of “SHIT” to include all of the types of products you have been harping on here… not just this guys magic seeds.
Given this broader definition… these guys don’t exist without buying the SHIT. Still a true statement.
But we are “protecting the victims” but we don’t want to help them.
How is that a stupid discussion. The fact that you say and believe that troubles me. Do you really care about them or don’t you? I am not so sure now.
[Reply]
Fred Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
There is no need for complexity here. SD has said before his primary goal is to make his chosen targets squirm. What happens after that is really left to the universe. Too many variables. It’s not realistic anyway to expect him to cover all bases and be all things, and he has pointed out the folly of trying to do that. I think some people expect an “all encompassing” plan here, which is virtually impossible. SD is stirring up the pot, and that produces ripples. There’s a lot to be said for that.
WINNER!! ::
+7
AnnAustin Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
@Watching The Train Wreck, People are people. They are going to have their insecurities. I don’t think you can stop people from being insecure about certain things, though the trigger isn’t the same for everyone. I think what Salty is trying to do is to expose those playing on the insecurities for profit. Worried folks don’t do the best research. Exposing the D-bags is really the only option.
WINNER!! ::
+9
Unicorn Army Reply:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
@Watching The Train Wreck, the Droid is a snark-firing machine – doing one thing really well. He hasn’t put anyone out of business, but he’s got a lot of people looking at how they sell and a lot of ‘em making changes. Maybe out of fear, maybe out of enlightenment, but who cares. Change is change.
stoic Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
@Watching The Train Wreck,
I’d buy a crisis stove, it looks quite a nifty gadget and I’m a sucker for the Armageddon scenario— but not at that ridiculously inflated price.
Those things are mass produced in China for a probable retail price of $30.
The real problem is the way these things are sold and the stupidity this type of persuasion, with no critical countering, is fostering in the populace.
We seem to have been on the eve of destruction my entire life, and I’m quite old.
Duff Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Satire itself is excellent medicine.
[Reply]
This guy is a huge advertiser on the GCN network which is where Alex Jones broadcasts his show. If you think the survival seeds stuff is awful, it’s only the tip of the iceberg.
[Reply]
Cosmic Connie Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
@Jon, Alex Jones seems to be a big fan of Kevin True-dough too. It’s a conspiracy!!!
http://www.infowars.com/billionaire-elite-want-two-thirds-of-the-dumb-people-wiped-off-the-planet/
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Kev sounds as if he’s channeling David Icke and the Bilderburg lizard people in that article.
[Reply]
When I first saw this post, I thought it was a joke..just Salty’s way of having fun. The Crisis Sees Garden is the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen. I think I’m going to write a post called:
10 Things Soon to be Advertised on Glenn Beck…
the only problem is the truth is funnier than anything I can come up with.
I’ve got “Gold by the Mile” so far…
[Reply]
Carlon Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 6:37 am
Finally, products that will make me a fortune once advertised on Beck http://bit.ly/cQConW
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That’s weird… he looks just like the guy I traded my cow for back when I was a kid.
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He’s a nut. But it is NOT paranoia to see that things are getting really bad and are likely to get worse. Everything is NOT going to be ok.
Check this:
http://www.oftwominds.com/Survival/Overreach-InequalitySP.pdf
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
@Ross Jeffries,
Things will go through a down cycle, we are probably in for some tough times but the previous prosperity bubbles were stage managed and unsustainable.
One thing the human race excels at is adapting to changing circumstances, it is the secret of our longevity as a species. We will adapt and survive.
Meanwhile I’m going into the ‘cover your bases but not-quite-a-crisis stove’ business.
My first product will fit into your coat pocket and cook up a breakfast while the world disintegrates around you, only $297 with an ebook of gourmet hexi recipes and a DVD of how to first catch and skin your breakfast:
http://www.winfieldsmegastore.com/Highlander-Hexi-Stove-&-Tablets-p-SF003-c-NOT-APPLICABLE.html
(I can probably get them even cheaper wholesale from the army surplus depot)
[Reply]
oh christ I leave this site and come back to seeing that sack of filthy hot feces, ross jeffries all over the place…makes me almost as sick as frank kern
but yea doomer-porn is classic… Kevin Trudeau is also someone who needs to be azz blasted
[Reply]
Ross Jeffries Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
@sweetiecakes,
yummm…filthy hot feces! With lingonberry jam please, a Swedish breakfast classic. Mumsfillibaba and delicatosa!
Hej Da,
RJ
[Reply]
hrm Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
@sweetiecakes,
Hey now, Ross Jeffries is the bringer of HA-PEENUS.
[Reply]
Look:: I am a huge fan of marketing. I live, sleep, and eat the stuff. Marketing makes the world go ’round.
That said, in my opinion $150 for seeds is just wrong:: the only caveat I put on that statement is:: it’s only wrong if people don’t see they are getting an advantage from the $150 version that they can’t get in the “several cents” version and/or the $150 version fails to perform as promised. Granted:: the guy peddling this stuff is far from being a saint. And I am sure his seed really isn’t one that should be sown. His non-hybrid, 100% pure inbred seed is bound to create two-headed children –eh, I mean cabbages.
Yes, this guy is probably not someone you want your daughter to bring home, knowing, talking to, or thinking about:: nor is he going to win any humanitarian awards. Yes he is playing on fear (not unlike nearly every insurance company in the world, combined with a few dentists, doctors, and chiropractors who all make their living selling an ounce of prevention). Yes, he is creating false scarcity:: a direct violation of the FTC’s recent decision. Sure, you can argue about target market and marketing techniques. And you’d be right.
But really, what is the role of marketing? To get people to perceive wants as needs, in order to drive them to buy, consume, rinse and repeat as often as needed ::need being a subjective word, of course:: . Do you really think that if you drink Coors Light, despite the fact you’re a hairy-backed unemployed introvert, you’ll be suddenly and mysteriously be surrounded by young attractive nymphomaniac women in a semi-inebriated state (a most opportune situation for you oh hairy one:: how lucky indeed). Granted that would be one hell of a USP/UVP if that were the case:: and they’d probably sell a lot more of that swill:: But the reality is they use the situation of beautiful drunk people to suggest that if you drink/use/buy product X, you too will have the same experience (go beer goggles!).
Here’ the reality. Coke and/or Pepsi are poison (just soak a steak in one for a couple of days:: bye-bye steak), cigarettes will kill you, and cell phones cause cancer. Yet, people seem to continue to consume/use these things:: because they are convenient, it’s what their parents did, or it’s what they have been trained to do:: by society/marketers. Every day people like you and me are trading known and unknown risks for immediate pleasure or to avoid the possibility of pain. People run from pain:: they will jump off of cliffs to avoid fear.
Where we are all stunned and amazed that this guy is charging $150 for seeds:: and more so that people will pay for it:: it’s $150 for SEEDS!?!:: And while that’s certainly abnormal behavior on both sides of the equation; I don’t think anyone is screaming about Kevin G. Boyd’s bottled water “Bling,” which sells for around $40/750ml bottle or Kona Nigari water, which is around $33 for 2, yes count them, 1–2, ounces. It’s water people!!! It has two hydrogen atoms for every one of oxygen:: it falls from the sky:: 2/3 of the world is covered in it. It freely bubbles from drinking fountains in nearly every public place (even airports give the have free drinking fountains and they try to charge you for breathing). People are screaming about $4 gas and yet drop $30 per gallon of reverse-osmosis filtered “spring” aka “tap” water. I am not sure this is different than $150 for seeds:: or the now famous $1,000 iPhone app “I am Rich,” which did absolutely nothing:: Or the ever-popular, weasel-shat coffee bean Kopi Luwak, which goes for a mere $600 per pound.
The reality is, if you can’t afford this stuff:: don’t buy it. As a matter of fact:: as a general rule thumb if you can’t afford stuff –despite what your neighbors have, your friends say, or what you think you are capable of or “deserve”– don’t buy it. This includes, but is not limited to, the following: cars, houses, health care, cosmetic surgery, food, trips, video games, alcohol, water, and most specifically seeds:: those little bastards are pricey.
Please, please, please understand, I am not defending this nutter, nor what he has done. But where does it end? There is a market that is addicted to doomer-porn. It’s how they’re wired. They go around wearing tin-foil hats, have bomb shelters in their back yards, and know how to survive off or rodent feces and pencil lead:: like some apocalyptic zombieland MacGyver. Sadly and strangely this has become a legitimate market. Now the claim that “non-hybrid seeds can be worth more than gold or silver” is a HUGE leap in logic. Not since the Dutch tulip-craze have seeds/bulbs been worth so much. So yes, if we are attacking his misleading statements and or claims, I completely agree:: crucify this useless festering sack of fermented scat. But if we’re complaining that he’s got a product he can make/produce for X and sell for 1500X:: that’s business:: and it’s likely one we should all be very jealous of.
The fact he’s found a market that will pay:: well that’s just a miracle in and of itself. Everyday it’s more apparent the world is made up of fools, idiots, and morons. Thankfully Salty is here to help winnow the wheat from the chaff. Finally, if we’re attacking him for going after the foil-heads:: I say let him have them. If those who worship Reynolds enough to ensconse their craniums with his greatest creation somehow believe seeds shoved in a plastic tube burried deep in the earth so the Feds can’t hope to find it, so when the world goes to hell they can dig it up and have something to eat a mere 3-6 months after they plant the is a good thing:: and they’re willing to blow $150 to per seedy-bank:: then let them stock themselves silly. That said, if the world is not going to end and these people never have to use their seed:: don’t we all win? Again, and I need to make this perfectly clear, misleading advertising is VERY VERY bad.
Since we’re on the topic of misleading advertising:: let’s talk about the greatest single source of false advertising in the world today:: it’s one practically every man has fallen victim to and something must be done about it. Please help your fellow man. Let’s make a change right now.
The scam I am talking about is the existence and use of the push-up/wonder bra. Talk about a scam. Women (and men such as MeatLoaf) who would normally have a pair of knee-knockers now have repackaged their droopers to appear more young and perky. But when the packaging is removed and gravity takes over:: well it’s a very different story. Right now every man and more than a few women are nodding:: there’s something that can be done. What? I don’t know:: but I know I have been mislead more times than I care to imagine. It must stop. But marketing makes the wolrd go ’round:: and sex sells.
All the best::
DD
WINNER!! ::
+10
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 3:38 am
@DroidDisclosure,
If anyone is interested in how this situation came about, the Century of the Self is an informative and eye-opening history lesson.
Its a four part documentary, made for the BBC and now free to view in many places on the web. I’m informed PBS declined to air it, vested interests in the US would probably not wish it widely shown. Its four hours long but fascinating, illuminating and well worth watching.
[Reply]
hrm Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 5:26 am
@DroidDisclosure,
Look. This place can make for an entertaining read at times.
But…
There’s 1 big neon sign above all of the pro-salty arguments at this site that says the following: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROPOSED SOLUTION?
Because, at the end of the day, we’re bitching about marketing techniques designed for COMPLIANCE.
We’re talking about people willingly putting in their credit card numbers for products and services.
If the aim of the site is solely to enlighten the population to be more smart and less susceptible to asshat marketing, I’m all for it.
If – on the other hand – people have a position that there needs to be more government regulation and laws written to prevent compliance and influence techniques that evoke a voluntary reaction to buy, then that is the stupidest shit in the world, and I’m moving to mars.
Just saying, I get that gist from a lot of people around this site. Yeah, some of the people salty calls out are douchebags, but at the end of the day, they’re just doing marketing (i.e.: Eben Pagan).
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 5:57 am
@DroidDisclosure,
There’s probably a small but thriving niche market for fans of ‘droopers’ and ‘knee-knockers’. Why not? there seems to be a market to be exploited for just about every other thing.
Human ingenuity, doncha just love it.
[Reply]
I’m going to play devil’s advocate because it seems the commenters here are more upset about people who are afraid than the products being sold to them.
If you believe that a crisis is possible or probable, it makes total sense to be prepared.
The commenters here seem to think everything is going great, no crisis is imminent, no need to be prepared. There are people who think otherwise. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? More importantly, who cares?
There’s a lot of talk here about taking advantage of people with fears, insecurities, etc. Guess what? Every human being on planet earth has them. No exceptions.
And most of us are willing to pay money to solve problems.
Solving another person’s problem in exchange for money doesn’t make that person a scam artist, douche bag, or any other derogatory term you come up with.
Am I a scam artist if I sell makeup to women who are insecure about their appearance and want to look better? Does it really make a difference whether I charge $10 or $50 or $100 for my makeup so long as my customers are satisfied?
Or am I scam artist if I sell fire escape ladders to people who are afraid of their homes catching on fire? What if I charge $200 for my escape ladder when another guy is selling a similar ladder for $100? Is that wrong?
To call somebody a scam artist for solving a person’s perceived problem is ridiculous.
If it’s the price of the product that’s got you all worked up, then consider a few things:
1. What’s expensive to you might be cheap to somebody else. It’s all relative.
2. In every market, the same product is sold for a wide range of prices. A 2010 BMW M6 is going to cost $108,000 while a 2010 Hyundai Elantra will cost me $14,000. Does that mean BMW is running some kind of scam?
The price of a product is based on its real AND perceived value. Some people pay more for convenience than others. Some people pay more for status than others. Does that mean it’s wrong to charge for convenience or status or other intangibles? I don’t think so.
******
DroidDisclosure says: “Now the claim that ‘non-hybrid seeds can be worth more than gold or silver’ is a HUGE leap in logic.”
DD – If there was a famine, would you rather have silver/gold or seeds? Personally, I’d rather have seeds. I bet you would too. Where’s the leap in logic? If you’re starving, you’ll want food or a means to grow it. Simple as that.
If you fail to see the logic of this, then if and when a famine hits, let’s trade: I’ll give you my silver, you give me your seeds, foodstuffs, etc. Deal? ;-)
Ryan
[Reply]
Duff Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
@Ryan Healy,
The scam is that farmers already have seeds and know the fair market rate of such. Meanwhile people who are paranoid who would succumb to such a sales pitch don’t have a farm.
I understand defending marketing, but come on–this guy is a transparent con man.
[Reply]
Burpin Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
@Duff, Evidently you have not read Jack and the Beanstalk. There are seeds, and there are MAGIC seeds. I bet those farmers you mention are just working with regular seeds.
[Reply]
Ryan Healy Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
@Duff, I guess that’s my point.
“Fair” market value is relative. Who defines what “fair” is?
Some people may not want to do the research on seeds or find out where else they can obtain them in similar quantities or varieties. They’re more interested in convenience, being prepared as soon as possible, etc.
Last I checked, most Americans are not farmers, nor do they have farms. One government site says, “Fewer than 2 percent of Americans farm for a living today.” source: http://www.csrees.usda.gov/qlinks/extension.html
If more people were in the farming or seed-selling businesses, then perhaps prices would adjust. But right now, farming is unpopular indeed. (Which also explains, in part, why the U.S. imports 15% of its crops based on volume.) source: http://www.ers.usda.gov/AmberWaves/February08/DataFeature/
If I bought seeds from SurvivalSeedBank.com, then I would be doing so because I felt it was worth the money. Even if I could cobble together the same set of seeds for $10 or $20 does not mean I would want to invest the time to figure that out.
I dealt with this all the time in the homeschooling business. Homeschool moms would be “outraged” that the company I worked for charged a few hundred dollars for a year’s worth of curriculum.
Why? Because they could invest their time and buy those same books used or check them out from the library and save a couple hundred bucks! In light of this, how could we charge such prices?
The answer is, we solved a problem! Not everybody wants to shop used book sales, track auctions on ebay, or spend their time checking out books from the library.
And the “savings” those moms achieved was because of their time investment. You could say that the time/work invested paid off. But I certainly wouldn’t want to do that work myself.
So it’s a choice. Each person has to decide when and how they invest their time.
To sum up: There is always a cost involved, whether it is your time or your money (which represents time/labor that has already been invested).
Ryan
P.S. In debate, definitions are critical. So how do you define “con man”? Here’s my definition, in case you’re interested:
http://www.ryanhealy.com/how-to-spot-a-con-man/
[Reply]
Duff Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Here’s another way to spot a con man–see if he’s been busted by the FTC for conning people like this dude has!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kerry-trueman/seeds-of-strange-beckista_b_496706.html
[Reply]
DroidDisclosure Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
@Ryan Healy,
Tell you what sweetcakes:: what you’re talking about isn’t food:: it’s potential food:: just add water, dirt, some effort, and a shit load of time and you MIGHT have food:: in fact, if you act now, you only have to wait 3-6 months for it to turn into something worthwhile(a true comfort to someone who is currently starving). That’s like giving a begger a $5 US savings bond that won’t mature for 20 years –a hellova lot of good it does now.
But your rebuttal was “in a time of famine” I’d rather have the seeds. Well fruitcake, seeds might be nice:: but famines are typically periods WHEN THINGS DON’T GROW. So you can sit grinning knowing you are safe and sound with your big pile of useless saftey seeds.
So yeah, I’ll trade you silver for seeds any day:: it’s a fool’s bet. Why? Because if the world has truly gone to shit to the degree you can’t buy food, you probably can’t grow it, let alone afford to wait for it to grow either (so smile big with your little silver seed packets full of hope).
But if you truly embrace any of this doom crap, your one real solution is this: go get a gun. Now, that will likely be hard for a felon like this joker who is selling his “wonder-seeds.” But for the rest of us more law abidin’ type folk:: protection and procurement come fairly easily with a trip to the local sporting goods store.
For while food (or in your case happy seeds) is good, but it’s the man with the gun that eats and everyone else sits quivering in a corner wishing they too had a gun. So, go stock up on your seeds, and the more logic-driven people in the world will sit back comfortably with their guns and bullets:: I guess we’ll just have to wait to see who comes out on top.
And I must be out of my mind to think that his magic seeds are worth $150 for a seed bank. Hell, why sell a bank:: he’s obviously thinking too small. Let’s go for the whole “seed treasury” for $25,000 plus a monthly $5,000 just to secure your seed treasury investment. The tin-foil headed folk are now frothing at the mouth at that opportunity. Well, here’s the order link: http://bit.ly/aDv4RD.
Go read a cryogenics catalog:: you and Ted Williams would make great friends.
[Reply]
Ryan Healy Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
@DroidDisclosure, Calling me “sweet cakes” probably isn’t helping your argument.
Anyway, I get the point that seeds are potential food. That’s why I said, “If you’re starving, you’ll want food or a means to grow it. Simple as that.”
Famines generally don’t strike overnight. They take time to develop. Rising food prices, for instance, may signal a coming food shortage. These signs give people time to plan and prepare.
You suggest that famines happen when things don’t grow. If that were the case, a famine covering the entire U.S. would be impossible. Certainly, there are localized “famines” when crops won’t grow because of a lack of rain. But the U.S. is too large to have a long-term nationwide drought.
In other words, it’s always raining somewhere in the U.S., which means something is always growing.
As E. Parmalee Prentice and Cornelius Walford point out, the REAL cause of famine is “human folly and ignorance.” They say there are four primary causes of famine:
1. The prevention of cultivation or the willful destruction of crops;
2. Defective agriculture caused by communistic control of land;
3. Governmental interference by regulation or taxation;
4. Currency restrictions, including debasing the coin.
Take the time to study history (as these guys did), and you’ll discover the true causes of famine.
How is the U.S. doing? We’ve certainly got three out of the four requirements for famine (1, 3, and 4), and maybe all of them. (The U.S. government loves to pay farmers to do nothing.)
R.J. Rushdoony says these four causes add up to one word: socialism. He writes: “The more severe the socialism, the more severe the famine.”
Droughts don’t cause widespread famine; rather, men cause widespread famine. As such, it can be predicted. And if it can be predicted, then seeds are valuable.
Now, about your guns and bullets comment…
Are you saying that you’re basically a criminal who will steal another person’s food at gunpoint? If so, you’re one messed up dude — and far worse than the so-called “nutter” you’re attacking.
Ryan
[Reply]
Carlon Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
@Ryan Healy,
I don’t know about your sources…but at the risk of making this too serious…what about the Potato Famine? Socialism? The British decided to let the free market decide the matter. And decide it did. Millions starved while the market was deciding.
So, you are right about “men” making famines. But I don’t know anyone who thinks that the policies in Ireland under the British were “Socialist.”
And as an aide, R.J. Rushdoony? Isn’t he one of those holocaust deniers? I’m surprised you’re quoting him and at the same time asking others to study history.
[Reply]
Ryan Healy Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
@Carlon, I haven’t studied the Potato Famine, so I can’t comment on that right now. Would probably be worth studying. I’m guessing it’s not as simple as you’ve made it out to be. But I could be wrong.
I think Rushdoony had some very good things to say, although I don’t agree with all of his positions. Is there anybody on planet earth you can agree 100% with? Not likely. Yet we still quote people.
Was Rushdoony a “holocaust denier” as you say? Not from what I can tell. Reading his original writing, he says the stated figures of Jews who were killed during WWII was overstated.
He makes this claim based on the work of the French Socialist, Paul Rassinier, who was himself a prisoner in Buchenwald. Rushdoony’s claim is also based on the work of Paul Hilberg. Both Rassinier and Hilberg concluded that the number of Jews who were killed during the holocaust came to between 900,000 and 1.2 million. These are much lower numbers compared to the 6 million regularly quoted in history books.
Does this make Rushdoony a holocaust denier? No. He just disputes the figures for the number of those who were killed by the Nazis.
I’m pretty sure that calling Rushdoony a “holocaust denier” was an ad hominem attack designed to get people to turn off their critical thinking skills and ignore his work altogether.
Ryan
[Reply]
Carlon Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
@Ryan Healy,
Ryan…Paul Rassinier? Paul Rassinier?
He’s the frickin’ father of the Holocaust denial movement!!! Look it up.
I call R.J. Rushdoony a holocaust denier because that’s what he was. By every definition of holocaust denial, he sure was.
I’m not saying you agree with that. Heck, I quote people who are right on one thing but I feel are wrong in another.
However, you’re quoting Rushdoony as some historical expert. I think his Holocaust denial is not ad hominum, but is very telling as to his historical methodology.
As to his numbers claim…even the Nazis themselves said that 1,274,166 Jews were killed in 1942. It’s in the history books.
stoic Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 7:05 am
@Ryan Healy,
About the potato famine, it is that simple. The Brits decided to let the Irish starve and blocked any relief getting through. PM Tony Blair made a full confession and apology (easy to do after 150 years)
Tony Blair has issued a statement on the Irish Potato Famine 150 years ago which amounts to the first apology expressed by the British authorities.
“At a weekend festival in County Cork to commemorate the famine, which claimed one million lives, a letter was read out from the Prime Minister in which he blamed “those who governed in London” at the time for the disaster. The statement was read to an audience of 15,000 at a concert by the Irish actor Gabriel Byrne. In it, Mr Blair said he was pleased to join in remembering those who had died and suffered during “the great Irish famine”.
He went on: “The famine was a defining event in the history of Ireland and Britain. It has left deep scars. That one million people should have died in what was then part of the richest and most powerful nation in the world is something that still causes pain as we reflect on it today. Those who governed in London at the time failed their people.”
Ryan Healy Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 8:53 am
@Carlon, So I looked up Paul Rassinier. He is not the father of the Holocaust denial movement. But, as Wikipedia reports, “He was viewed by Holocaust deniers as the father of their belief system.”
Rassinier was a prisoner at Buchenwald and was tortured so badly by the S.S. that his kidneys were severely damaged. According to Wikipedia, he was an invalid the last 22 years of his life because of the damage that had been done to his organs.
And while Rassinier’s writings were controversial, and it seems his scholarship was at times dubious, I find no clear evidence that he denied the holocaust. He simply felt that the atrocities of the holocaust were overstated. He was a victim of the holocaust and a witness to it; how could he deny that it ever happened?
So: You claim both Rushdoony and Rassinier were “holocaust deniers.” You still haven’t explained what you mean when you say somebody is a “holocaust denier.” And you still haven’t provided a shred of proof for your position.
I’ve read through a few articles from different sources (including some that are against Rushdoony and Rassinier), and I still cannot find evidence that either one said or believed, “The holocaust didn’t happen.” On the contrary, it seems both believed it did happen — but they didn’t completely agree with the popular historical accounts of what happened.
By the way, I have not held up Rushdoony as an historical expert as you say (although he is better qualified than most with 69 books to his name). I did quote one brief sentence: “The more severe the socialism, the more severe the famine.” If you disagree with the statement, then attack the statement rather than the man who said it.
Lastly: Saying, “It’s in the history books” doesn’t really prove anything. History books have generally been whitewashed and filled with propaganda anyway. Especially history books about America — many of the blemishes in our nation’s past have been airbrushed out.
Ryan
stoic Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 9:34 am
@Ryan Healy,
One of the ways denial works is by ‘minimising’ after the fact.
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad, only one million Jews were killed, the potato famine in Ireland killed just as many and that was a natural catastrophe.”
“I was beaten every day as a child and it never did me any harm, now stop whingeing and lets go beat up that wimp down the road.”
One of the gobsmacking wonders of the Nazi death machine was its efficency, and the anal insistence on recording and improving the ways and means of delivering death. The numbers were recorded.
If you really want some metrics, 27 million Russians died for the motherland during the Great Patriotic War.
But in the end suffering is subjective, when you are reduced to eating the dead in Leningrad its kind of hard to worry about the troubles of some foreigner in a camp somewhere.
Carlon Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 10:39 am
@Ryan Healy,
Let’s get a few things straight.
#1 Holocaust denier: defined as someone who claims that there was no systematic attempt by the Nazis to wipe out a race of people (the Jews).
#2 Raissner: look up this guy’s stuff. In The Drama of the European Jews, he claimed that Nazi Germany never set out to exterminate the Jews. This Is Holocaust denial.
He never denied Jews were killed. He just happens to think that “stuff happens during wartime”. To deny that there was a systematic attempt to wipe out Jews is Holocaust denial. Raissner did just that.
Arguing against the death toll is a common tactic by Holocaust deniers. Stoic hit the nail on the head with that one.
Also, I told you to look up the number in the history books because it’s there–it’s a primary source, Ryan. The number is from the Höfle Telegram. Look it up. The Nazis were quite thorough in their killing process. They documented quite a lot.
#3 As to Rushdoony, he thought the number of Jews killed was lower than 6 million (about 892,000) and those how died mostly died from epidemics…even though Nazi documentation says that in 1942 alone more Jews were exterminated than Rushdoony claims? That doesn’t sound like Holocaust denial to you?
I think by noting the Potato Famine it is enough to wipe out Rushdoony’s socialism view. Your response was that you don’t know about the Potato Famine. Well, look it up. Then, tell me I am wrong to say that Rushdoony’s claim about socialism=famine is complete crap. And for full disclosure, I can’t stand Communism or Socialism. But famine existed way before socialism.
And it’s not the man I am attacking but the man’s historical leanings. He agrees with the Holocaust denier. This shows that he looks for facts that fit his preconceived notions rather than searching for truth.
Let me end with this: Ryan, I like your blog and you seem like a decent person. But it seems you are not so familiar with the Holocaust denier movement or their tactics. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt here.
Like you, I use my name here. No need to hide. I hope that I have made clear what Holocaust denial is and how I feel Rushdoony fits in that category.
Ryan Healy Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 11:01 am
@Carlon, Thank you for using your real name. I appreciate your willingness to stand up for your views without the help of an anonymous alter ego.
You said: “It seems you are not so familiar with the Holocaust denier movement or their tactics.”
You’re right. I’m not familiar with the movement at all; I’ve never had a reason to look into it before.
I plan to take some time to read up on the subject. Always good to be informed of the different viewpoints that are out there.
Thanks,
Ryan
Wendel Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
I don’t think DroidDisclosure meant that he would steal someone’s food at gunpoint, just their seeds.
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 7:22 am
@Wendel,
If DroidDisclosure were a really smart exploiter, he’d hide in the woods while Ryan Healy(a great Irish name) dug and planted and watered and fought off the hungry mob wanting his little crop, then he’d fire up his crisis oven, take his stockpiled gun from its hidy-hole in the book and liberate those carrots and radishes by force, godammit.
[Reply]
DroidDisclosure Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
@Ryan Healy,
Sorry:: didn’t mean to call you sweetcakes, cupcake (I get my delicate pastries confused):: let’s talk about this for a bit:: just ’cause it’s raining somewhere, doesn’t mean 1) you’re there or 2) your fairy land meets harry potter plants will sprout big and tall providing sustenance for you and yours. Point and case:: I am sure during the 80′s those poor Ethiopians would have been just fine had we just sent over all your special seeds:: sure the seeds would just wither and die in there piss-poor, water-starved soil:: but at least those poor bastards would have had something to keep themselves entertained with.
Besides, your whole argument originally hinged on “if there is a famine” not “if you perhaps performed the requisite trend analysis to ascertain the inverse slope of the CPI of the average would-be seed grower lined up properly with the decline in waffle house franchises.” So again, yes, in a famine, I would prefer the silver:: that way I could at least pay to get the hell out of wherever this famine was. Silver will get you a bit further than say a ham and Swiss on rye (although I hear that can open some pretty amazing doors too).
Rain, or more to the point “water,” is only one part of the magical seeds=food equation. You’ve neglected to properly address the remaining parts of dirt, effort, and time (and of course the fairly improbable requirement that other hungry people will leave your shit alone).
From your idealistic comments, it seems you’ve apparently always had a pretty easy life and have likely never planted a garden or understand the kind of attention that draws, particularly when everyone around you is starving:: I remember my grandfather telling stories of they lived through, and what was taken from them when the Soviets “liberated” them from German occupation. He would have willingly traded a wheelbarrow full of your shitty seeds for a gun:: why? because the “liberators” who coincidentally were liberating his food from his farm –leaving him and my grandmother to starve– all had guns:: and they wanted (and coincidentally took) what he had BECAUSE of their guns. But that will never happen here in America, the land where people are so concerned about one another that they’ll make each other spend themselves into oblivion:: So you can keep living in your “sunshine and lollipop” world and the rest of us will deal with the reality of life. I hear there’s a surplus of tin-foil:: if you hurry you just might be able to stock up. Just think of all the pretty hats you can make.
As for your next point, given my families experience I am certain even you can ascertain I am not condoning the stealing food or seeds or anything else for that matter, let alone at gun point. The point, simply put ::because you seemed to miss it last time:: if the world has gone to hell in a hand basket, and people cannot buy food either due to scarcity (legitimate government-tested, FTC-approved type of scarcity) or cannot afford it due to price (e.g. the Irish potato famine where all the food was shipped off to Brittan because they could pay the higher prices) the world is screwed in more ways than you can imagine. Assuming all of the growing conditions are right for the seeds you’re buying:: Where everyone would like the possibility to maybe, hopefully, one day, eat some of the fruit of their crazy-gardening labor, if the world has truly gone to pot, the odds that YOU will be able to enjoy what you’ve planted are pretty slim, that’s not to say someone won’t appreciate it .
Rest assured, it’s happened to my family once:: it won’t happen to mine again.
Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. ~George Santayana
*******
Wendell:: why wouldn’t you want their seeds? don’t you know they paid over $150 for them?!? Those things are worth mountains of silver and gold:: enough to make Burl Ives sing about Yukon Cornelius’s obsession! :-)
[Reply]
Ryan Healy Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 10:27 am
@DroidDisclosure, Name calling might make people laugh, but it doesn’t help to win an argument — unless victory is measured in chuckles.
I use my full name here because it keeps me accountable. You, on the other hand, comment anonymously so you can hurl insults without repercussion.
Therefore, I think it’s time for me to bow out of this discussion. Later.
Ryan
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 11:14 am
@Ryan ::
Not sure “bowing out” is allowed after you start off saying “devils advocate” :: and then drop those crazy names. The devil doesn’t punt.
Let me give a further kick to the “socialist famine” idea by pointing out :: the Mao and Stalin “famines” were about tyranny … not socialism. It’s dangerous to equate the two. Socialists in most modern countries tend to be manageably incompetent pussies. Tyranny can come from the left or the right :: but always depends on citizens willing to put unexamined group ideologies ahead of reason and rationality.
[Reply]
Listen nut-jobs ::
1. This blog isn’t about marketing. I’m not going to get drawn into a debate about it on every fucking post. Is it a scam to exploit and increase female insecurity to sell make-up? Or to use puppies to sell Jack Daniels? Or cartoons to sell cigarettes? Nope. It’s well within the current rules. But that doesn’t give it some kind of supernatural blessing. IMO :: those things are all bullshit. Capitalism is in the DNA of complex social systems. It arises naturally and trying to fight it will always lead to doom. BUT :: consumerism is a CHOICE we’ve made. We could think harder about it … about what we are doing to each other … and to the weakest amongst us. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.
2. But this d-bag is different. He doesn’t have a product that he wants to sell. He’s just concocting lies for the purposes of exploitation. He’s not selling “seeds” … that’s ludicrous. He’s selling bullshit. If a seed company saw the economic crisis as an opportunity to sell more seeds … that would be weird … and somewhat dubious … and they’d risk damaging their reputation with the people who actually buy seeds {aka farmers} … but that would be a question about “marketing.” This ain’t that … this guy is scammer … selling nothing.
3. Hello :: I’m a humorist! Jesus H. you people take me way more seriously than I take my self. How could I pass up IM being on Colbert? He made a joke using a screen shot of Domain Tools … that’s fucking hilarious. Crisis Garden :: Huge Wads of Cash :: Hide Your Guns :: I mean come on! That’s stuff is all super funny.
Ever notice how the FTC doesn’t make a new rule every time I make a joke about something??
Calm down people … god damn.
[Reply]
Maria Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
@SD: Very $exy your EYE!
[Reply]
Cosmic Connie Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
@SD, I get you. I’m not really outraged by most of the doomer-porn stuff myself. For the most part I think it’s highly entertaining. Granted, I sometimes find it frustrating that serial con artists keep getting away with their their cons, but as long as they’re not cooking people to death or inducing psychoses that lead to suicides, I’m not totally steamed.
So I understand quite well that snarking and moral outrage don’t always go hand-in-hand, though they sometimes can and do. With apologies to the good Dr. Freud… sometimes a snark is just a snark.
[Reply]
Duff Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 10:55 am
@Cosmic Connie & @SD,
Right-o. This post was about the lulz. I found the “hide your guns” page a few months back myself and thought it was hilarious. Some people just parody themselves.
[Reply]
Unicorn Army Reply:
March 18th, 2010 at 6:49 pm
@SD says: “This blog isn’t about marketing. … IMO :: those things are all bullshit. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.”
That’s the key point “they” don’t get. They still think it’s about marketing.
But what if it’s not? What if it’s about BULLSHIT? That makes it easy, no?
Marketers… don’t ask, “is what I am doing illegal?” Ask yourself instead, “is what I am doing complete and utter bullshit?”
For example – if you say “I’ve made a lot of money with my potato gun web site,” but you really mean “I’ve made a lot of money by convincing people that I make a lot of money with my potato gun site” – then that is complete and utter bullshit.
See the difference?
Selling the secrets of potato guns – marketing. Lame and strange, and you need a better hobby/life, but still just marketing. Pretending you got rich by doing that, so you can get rich by pretending that you got rich – that’s bullshit.
Trying to intimidate or DMCA a jokester into silence? Also bullshit.
Thank you, that’s all, carry on.
WINNER!! ::
+10
[Reply]
Duff Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Hey, don’t go knockin’ potato guns. My high school chemistry teacher had one built out of PVC pipe. But he didn’t sell us the secrets–we had us figure out the chemistry, then we could fire it across a football field at a billboard.
[Reply]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kerry-trueman/seeds-of-strange-beckista_b_496706.html
[Reply]
Duff Reply:
March 19th, 2010 at 11:00 am
LOL:
“…seeds need an airtight, but not airless environment…if you take away all the air, you will kill the seeds.”
And then there’s this:
“Glenn Beck has made a fortune by stoking his viewers’ sense of persecution and their fear that shadowy, corrupt forces are hard at work conspiring to rip them off.
And he’s right, of course; there’s no shortage of greedy, dishonest individuals and companies eager to profit by preying on people’s worst instincts. Take Bill Heid, the guy behind the Survival Seed Bank. The Federal Trade Commission fined him $400,000 “in consumer redress” back in 2005 for making “false and unsubstantiated claims for the “Himalayan Diet Breakthrough.” “
[Reply]
LOL… I almost missed this. Spring is here, and I was busy planting my crisis garden.
BTW, I’m a black christian jew republican and still think this guy should be put in jail.
[Reply]
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