187 Comments »

Dave said:
“Modeling :: like pole dancing and prostitution :: has a mandatory forced retirement age”
Very nice.
WINNER!! ::   +14
[Reply]

Maria AndrNose Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 8:43 am
@Dave, Joe Vitale is darn sexy isn’t he? Just get a tickle in my pickle looking at his delicious hairy moobs, almost as tasty as Evil Jowls’ moobs….. but nothing beats the stunning movie star looks of Pat O’Bryan with his camel toe pants…OMFG. These two sure are quite a fashionable pair with all their millions they keep it very “modest” and choose to dress in the Goodwill-Salvation Army style of our day.
Just curious, aside from noticing that many of these IM guys are dead beat dads and husbands – leeching off the hard work of good women, most of them seem to be grossly obese food addicts. They go on diet roller coasters, lose a few pounds, only to end up fatter and uglier than before. Case in point: Harlan Kilstein, Joe Vitale, and Andy Jenkins.
They also tend to grow their hair long and uhm…wear pink fluffy things. Why?
Muchly debated. What do you think?   +5
[Reply]

Curious Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 9:13 am
@Maria AndrNose, don’t forget Rich Schefren in that diet line-up, lol.
  0
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Gayguys Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 3:40 am
Almost as delicate and delish as Cosmic Connies editted version of Joe Vitale and fat arse mate David Schirmer from OZ. Little dicks and datelesses, fat arses and baldies, hairy boobs and fuglies. Some much awesomeness the sames.
  +2
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 6:41 am

RevRon said:
Aw, c’mon, Salty. Tell us how you REALLY feel! :-)
It’s obvious that you’re just jealous because your rip-off facsimile of the Russian Wish Dolly didn’t work for you the way Joe’s rip-off facsimile of the real Russian Wish Dolly claims to work. Perhaps if you were able to get a set of the actual instructions from the woman whose idea Vitale usurped, at least you’d be the beneficiary of a first-hand (and relatively harmless) delusion, rather than a fleecing by (unauthorized) proxy. Moral: Beware of used tooth-fairy salesmen.
  +4
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
@RevRon ::
On the contrary … I am the true Law of Attraction / Wish Dolly expert.
Says me to Universe: “I desire and deserve badguys so overwhelmingly stupid and unambiguously evil that the jokes just write themselves while I spend most of my time fucking off.”
Poooof!!! Like magic :: thank you LoA …
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 7:00 am

David said:
Hey,
Funny / enlightening post as usual.
My only thing though is I know people who are what other people would call successful (they make what’s considered a lot of money) and they trace their success back to listening to guys like Vitale in the Secret.
And I know quite a few of them.
I personally used to be really into The Secret but I’ve grown a lot since first seeing it. And the other day when I tried re-watching it, so see if I got that same boost of inspiration – I had to turn it off in the first five minutes.
It was just too suffocating to watch.
But anyway, what do you think about the first part of my post – about the people whose lives are “turned around” by watching The Secret and guys like Vitale?
David
  +2
[Reply]

Curious Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 8:32 am
@David, if the people you know are successful FOR REAL, like you’ve been to their big house, driven with them in the Mercedes and seen that their business is not a HACK that’s letting them sink into massive debt… they’re not giving THEMSELVES enough credit.
Nothing that these guys “teach” can actually be applied to generate an income UNLESS you got the “spark” to repeat the Cycle of Con. The JNL coaching is a perfect example.
My suspicion is that some of your “friends” are hidden behind computer keyboards and are actually a lot POORER and IN DEBT than you know.
WINNER!! ::   +7
[Reply]

Gayguys Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 3:45 am
@Curious, I couldnt agree more. These guys are milking HOPE for as much as its worth which makes their efforts even more criminal and very deceitful. The universe works in mysterious ways (or does it) these guys are getting exactly what they gave. The same arsewhipping arrogance is coming right at them.
  0
[Reply]

Yakaru Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 9:57 am
@David,
Happy to see that David from http://unexpectedways.net/ is a long time a fan of Salty Droid.
Your claim about knowing lots of people who trace their success back to Vitale is rather vague. If you are interested in actual reality, rather sales propaganda and believing spurious testimonials, here are a few things you should find out about these people before you make such a claim:
- Do they have a financial interest in promoting Vitale or products similar to his, or in trumpeting their “success”?
- What was their financial situation beforehand, and if there was a sudden spike in their finances what other factors were involved (credit, inheritance, new business connections etc)?
- Are they honestly representing their finances and income?
Count up the cases where such factors can be excluded, and there you have the number of people you know who found success with Joe.
Post the details here, and we can compare them with the failures that Droid posted in the article above. It will only be a small sample, of course, but I think a more reality-based picture will start to emerge.
If you can’t provide those details, then I’m afraid you can’t back up that claim.
  +4
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
@David ::
Success in life is about building stable long term relationships with people that matter to you … people you love … that love you back. IMO :: measuring success by income level is insanity. It writes off the majority of Earth’s population as unsuccessful! Bullshit.
Learning :: via high priced products :: to be EVEN MORE of a narcissist than you already were cannot help you “succeed” by any reasonable standard of success. People who define themselves based on last month’s paycheck are :: by definition :: not successful.
[Reply]

Ultra Valerian Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
@SD, Success is what you say it is in terms of human value, but it also might be more. Great contributions to technology, conservation or the well-being of people in general for instance. Some of those who are successful do pull down great big paychecks. Others who are successful may pull down moderate or low paychecks. Part of the trouble is when “success” is measured by the luxury items one can “afford”. Conspicuous consumption for its own sake or to prove something to others is just stupid and smacks of insecurity. I’m talking to you Joe Vitale and your stupid Rolls Royce. It’s one thing to have one because it makes you happy. It’s another to trot it out as evidence of your bullshit “success.”
  +5
[Reply]

Duff Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:15 pm
“Anyone who rises in a world that worships success should be suspect, for this is an age of psychopathy.”
~James Hillman
  +4
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Duff Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
That said, a broken clock is right twice a day. Focusing on what you want (“the secret”) can be helpful for those stuck in depression or other habits of mind not conducive to mental health or worldly success.
  +1
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 8:03 am

Nikki said:
Suddenly my Thousand-Dollar Throne idea doesn’t seem so unlikely…which is worrying.
  +6
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Martypants Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
@Nikki, I, for one, am looking forward to sitting down and flushing my way to millions. Can’t wait for your infomercials.
  +2
[Reply]

Yakaru Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
@Martypants,
Infomercial? This isn’t quite the same, but it’s not far from it. There is megabucks in this completely pointless and rather dangerous New Age practise.
http://www.ener-chi.com/colema.htm
Click on the video. (Don’t worry, it’s computer animated, and weird rather than disgusting.)
  0
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
@Nikki ::
… it never seemed unlikely.
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 8:08 am

Curious said:
Gratitude Seashells.
ROFL
  +5
[Reply]

Zippy the Pinhead Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
@Curious, Better yet, for ingratitude, you can send people this:
http://www.mailpoop.com
  +1
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 8:26 am

fractal geometry said:
“The Secret” bastardized a core philosophy. Word’s can’t do justice to that truth, but if you had to simplify it then you could say that everything that happens in your life points back to you and that a part of you that you are not aware of is responsible. This philosophy also states that what people call God is actually a part of themselves within, not outside of themselves.
We can all agree on the fact that there are portions of our minds that we have yet to realize and consciously use. Based on that premise the ancient belief systems of “As within so without|As above so below” you have the saying “like attracts like”. What these hustle dorks failed to include is that “law of attraction” is not a straight line and that there are deeper levels of that whole way of belief that are closely related to chaos. There is a level of mind that defies all logic. To say that people attract cancer, freak accidents, or abuse into their lives by their “vibration” is an insult to both the core truths and to the people who are listening to these fakers.
The Secret worked on people’s laziness and greed. It packages universal philosophies as a kit that can help you get something for nothing. Life is not that way and neither is “law of attraction”.
WINNER!! ::   +14
[Reply]

Timmy Ferrets Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 8:40 am
@fractal geometry,
“The Secret worked on people’s laziness and greed. It packages universal philosophies as a kit that can help you get something for nothing.”
Careful now. You’re treading into the dangerous waters of the something-for-nothing 4-Minute-Workweek Kool-Aid drinkers.
  +2
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spoonfaceboy Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 9:14 am
@fractal geometry,
There is a level of mind that defies all logic.
Yeah, it’s called insanity.
  +3
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Duff Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
@spoonfaceboy,
Insanity and creativity are both non-rational. Some studies I recently saw found correlations in brain activity from schizophrenics and highly creative people.
There are many ways to access the non-rational aspects of the psyche. Every night in your dreams a portal opens to the realms of the non-rational. The same things happens if you watch a Johnny Depp movie.
  +4
[Reply]

spoonfaceboy Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 12:23 am
@Duff, I get your point. I was sorta just joking. But, now that you’ve made me think about it …
Another way to access the non-rational aspect of your psyche is through faith.
However, as someone exposed to the evangelical/ charismatic/holiness movement at an early age, I can tell you that Sunday night holy roller sessions leaned more toward insanity than creativity.
One of my favorite ways of accessing my own creative side or bringing out creativity in a group comes from a yellow and black paperback book purchased from a used bookstore for tree-fiddy. It’s called Lateral Thinking – Creativity Step By Step.
Lateral Thinking techniques are based in logic and reason and are great for finding creative solutions to problems.
Mind maps are great for opening the creative flood gates too. I can’t prove it but, I believe laying out and visually documenting the structure, organization and hierarchy of objects and complex concepts relaxes the mind and allows the energy that might be spent trying to remember tiny details and how things fit together to be used more progressively. Whatever the heck that means.
And, I regularly watch episodes of 21 Jump Street when I’m creatively constipated.
  +4
[Reply]

Duff Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
@spoonfaceboy,
Mind maps are great. I love making them. Taking the ideas and actually acting upon them…well, at least I’m good at the first half of creativity.
  +5
[Reply]

froylein Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 10:39 am
@fractal geometry, ““As within so without|As above so below” actually is a principle of Medieval architecture, but coming to think of it, does that mean that the majority of people described on here are not short but halfway below the ground?
I didn’t have to watch Diego Amando Maradona during the past World Cup to learn that being a short male past one’s physical prime does not make a good coach.
  +4
[Reply]

Duff Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
@fractal geometry,
Unfortunately like does not attract like, at least on the physical plane:
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/f-cking-magnets-how-do-they-work
But yes, there is a Western esoteric tradition with a long history of rebellion from Christianity on the one hand and selling out for profit on the other hand. For a more deep introduction to the subject, I found The Inner West enlightening and accessible:
http://www.amazon.com/Inner-West-New-Consciousness-Reader/dp/1585423394
  +2
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 8:29 am

Pffft. said:
of course people are told up front the car isnt even his, right? he leases it.
http://www.markjryan.com/blog/2009/12/creating-the-rolls-royce-mastermind/
WINNER!! ::   +12
[Reply]

TheRevealer Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 10:05 am
@Pffft., I love Mark Ryan’s “revelation” about Dr. Joe’s “business acumen”:
“I knew Joe was ready to take it over by himself. When I was driving, he would proudly explain to others how he came up with the idea all by himself. At first I was a bit upset, but I knew that is Joe’s way of reclaiming his power.”
Stealing people’s idea are now known as “reclaiming your power”?
“I knew he was telling me he was ready to try doing masterminds more by himself with others riding along. And I guess I don’t blame him. He was paying me half of the profits, and I am sure he could pay others less. After all, it is business, right?”
Fucking partners out of deals is now known as “business, right?”??? But don’t blame Dr. Joe, he could pay others less. WTF?
  +1
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
@TheRevealer, @Pffft: It is interesting how Mark R’s story about the origins of the RR Masterminds differs from Mr. Fire’s…
“…after I bought the Rolls, I began to think even more prosperously…
…A Rolls is a symbol of great opulence and affluence. Sitting in it gives the aura of royalty. It affects how you think and feel.
“Within a day I came up with the idea of a Rolls-Royce Master-Mind. People would pay $5,000 each to sit in the car and brainstorm with me as we rode and went to dinner.
“Would anyone be interested?
“I sold out of the first one within a day. I had to announce a second one. Then a third. Then a fourth.
“When you make a decision to do something, even when it seems risky, the decision alone kick-starts a button in your mind.”
http://blog.mrfire.com/meet-the-phantom/
  +2
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Unicorn Army Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
@Pffft., buying it wouldn’t be a good idea – he probably writes off the monthly payments as a business expense. Yet he still says he “bought” the thing in his marketing…
  0
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Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
@Unicorn Army, Perhaps even more frequently, he says he “attracted” it, pandering to the magickal-thinking crowd, I suppose. In his original blog post about the car he said he wasn’t expecting to “attract” yet another car but it just happened. He implies that this was because he is Awakened and, unlike most people, is no longer stuck in a state of victimhood. (Kind of reminds me of that drama triangle Duff brought up in another thread…)
  +1
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
@Pffft. ::
“reclaiming his power” :: god what a bitch!
where have all the cowboys gone?
@Unicorn ::
there’s no way that’s a legit write off :: but he’s taking it for sure
[Reply]

Unicorn Army Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
@SD, it’s part of a large corporate fleet, I’m sure… and since when has the validity of a deduction been important to a scammer?
  -1
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Feather Boa-Constricter Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
@Pffft., I was waiting for proof of this! It should be obvious to anyone that with the “hourly fee” to ride in it, he could easily rent or lease any car he likes and still make mad profit.
  +2
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RunBrunsonRun Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 6:49 pm
“Our salesman, Bill, had some things to do and told us to go for another spin in the car, so we did. Then it came to me. I remember Joe telling me something about how he had recruited for Rajneesh Majaraj (Osho) in Houston for 7 years and had ran a center for him there as well. While this guru was not popular in the United States because of his tactics, I remembered the reverence Joe had for Rajneesh. I appealed to that side of Joe, because I knew if he listened to me he would have a much needed source of income for both him and myself.”
I think the last sentence says it all about Millionaire Joe.
  +2
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 9:03 am

Cosmic Connie said:
LOL about that “coaching” application and the questions about vaginal delivery and “sever” medical conditions. (In the latter, is she asking if someone is an amputee?)
I’m guessing that Jennifer the Fitness Model probably paid that big money to go on the ride not so much for bidness inspiration but rather for the ABC publicity op, not to mention for Joe’s mailing list. Of course I’m just speculating here, but it’s noteworthy, I think, that Ms. Fit just happened to be the one chosen for the Rolls-Royce session filmed by ABC. Notwithstanding Salty’s observation about mandatory retirement ages, she’s a bit more photogenic than most of the more ordinary looking souls who go on these rides. She’s at home in front of the camera. (I’m too polite to say “publicity whore.” Wait, I guess I’m not.) And she already had a successful business, or at least one that kind of looks successful on the surface.
It’s also noteworthy that Joe does not own the Rolls; he leased it for, I would imagine, considerably more than most people pay on their mortgages. My guess is that he kinda over-extended himself on that one, and perhaps got a bad case of buyer’s remorse, but bravely swallowed his doubts and decided to go forth with the RR “Mastermind” sessions. Just a guess, though.
In any case he breezily — and, IMO, disingenuously — wrote on his blog about his new acquisition, insinuating that on a day (back in 2008) when the stock market all but tanked and everyone else was wringing their hands, he waltzed right in to the dealership and plunked down $375,000 for his new luxury ride. He used this tale over and over as yet more “inspiroof” (as our friend Carlon would say) to promote his Attract A New Car infoproduct.
And, of course, he fell in love with “Eleanor”:
http://blog.mrfire.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/phantom-joe-kissing.jpg
Finally, when reviewing the Phantom Hall of Fame it would be a shame to overlook Barry Thomas Bechta, who, as it happens, got taken for a ride at the same time as the above-mentioned Wendy Young. Apparently this was the high point of Barry’s life.
http://tinyurl.com/2be44la
(Scroll down to “I paid five grand to ride in a Rolls, and all I got was this dumb blog.”)
Sad, really.
WINNER!! ::   +8
[Reply]

stoic Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
I’m told that Joe’s mailing list gave a kickstart to quite a few of todays top gooroos who would partner with him as a sort of loss-leader. The aspiring gooroo does all the work, writes the ebook etc and Joe takes up to 100% of the profit for the use of his list. The gooroo gets a publicity boost and starter-list for the next product, which if he has any sense will not have Joe anywhere near it.
  +1
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
@Cosmic Connie ::
Jennifer Nicole seemed kind of like a set up to me. Wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t pay full price :: or got some sort of assurances about future whatevers. He couldn’t have his normal clientele in the car with a camera :: here’s Jerry Sr.
“As a side venture of Dr. Vitale and O’Bryan I was sold on their Hoshun concept, I employed the very concept because I had borrowed the funds required to travel to San Marcos plus pay Dr. Vitale for this wonderful event.”
ABC Producer :: So Jerry what are you hoping to get from this Phantom Mastermind?
Jerry Sr. :: I’m hoping to learn how to attract the money to pay for this event.
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
@SD, The imagined ABC interview with “Jerry Sr” kinda reminds me of what probably happened with Phantom rider Barry Bechta, who presumably spent five grand plus transportation and accommodation to go on a Rolls MM ride with Mr. Fire, and then a couple of months later blogged about not being able to scrape together less than $800 to attend one of Mr. Fire’s Attract Wealth events. But Barry apparently decided that just thinking about the Attract Wealth event and making up his mind not to be upset about not being able to go would enable him to “Be Abundance and See Abundance.” And to this day he plies Joe with praise on Joe’s blog posts.
At least Jerry Sr. implied that he was able to pay back the money he borrowed for the great event. I also noticed that right after his testimonial there is a link to the “Disclosure” page… http://www.mrfire.com/legal-disclaimer.html
…which contains what is easily the most honest part of the whole site:
(1) Disclaimer Regarding Expectations of Results – Please be advised that due to the nature of the products which Hypnotic Marketing Inc. (“HMI”) and Joe Vitale are selling, there is no possibility of substantiating any claimed results made or supplying any objective evidence, whether financial, business related, spiritual or otherwise. It can be assumed that no results are to be expected as a result of one’s purchase of these products. HMI and/or Dr. Vitale do not and cannot make any representations, promises or guarantees of the effectiveness of his products. That being said, HMI, Dr. Vitale and his associates, partners and affiliates firmly believe in the effectiveness of hard work and the power of positive thought and that, more than anything, is what he is selling and teaching. Joe believes, that if you believe, anything can happen.
###
And yeah, SD, I’m pretty sure the Jennifer Nicole thing was a setup. Mailing list ops, joint venture ops, photo ops… and as I recall, JNL just happened to have a suitcase full of “Dr.” Vitale’s books and other infoproducts, which she brought along with her on the Mastermind evening for him to sign. When blogging about it, Joe made it sound as if she already owned the materials and brought them with her. Maybe she did. But judging from some of the enthusiastic testimonials I’ve seen from other “Phantom riders,” it seems that Joe presents all attendees with his entire body of published work.
I can imagine the ABC crew just rolling their eyes…
@stoic, what you heard about aspiring-gooroo/mail-list deals sounds about right too.
  +2
[Reply]

Feather Boa-Constricter Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
@Cosmic Connie, Y’know, the vagina thing could be that she plans on crawling her fake baked ass right up there a la Kenny McCormick from South Park, and solving her clients’ problems from the inside out (depending on how “sever” the issues are!). Male clients are already properly “widened” due to the reaming they’ve probably already sustained from the other grand wizards of gooroodom.
  0
[Reply]

Joe Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
@Cosmic Connie, vaginal questions on a coaching application? Sounds like a Kilstein prodigy.
  0
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# 14 July 2010 at 9:55 am

Pffft said:
alexa makes a widget for firefox that puts the alexa ranking of the page your visiting right on the bottom of the screen. if the domain is in the top 100,000 it gives a traffic graph, too.
so its easy enough to check out most of these sites in the time it takes for the site to load. my experience with my own domains-some of them i have abandoned but the registraton hasnt run out yet-shows anyting with an alexa ranking higher than 1,000,000 is essentially abandoned–no traffic worth speaking of, not even the owner.
  +2
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
@Pffft ::
Yep. Sadly :: none of those are real websites. A couple of them aren’t even indexed. Gratitude Seashells has all their text as graphics … etc.
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 10:26 am

the voice of reason said:
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Okay, Salty, you may be a corn holing super socialist shit stain scumbag loser, but I’m not above doffing my cap when you deliver up a good post, and this one was great. Not your writing style…that’s as fucked up and incoherant as ever. But, shining light on this bizarre “product” was very well done.
Vitale got this idea from Frank Kern, who has been driving his Platinum Club members around La Jolla while doling out his pearls of “wisdom” in his Rolls Royce for the past year. One of his pre-launch videos for his List Control course detailed his use of his Rolls Royce “secret weapon.”
But, Kern doesn’t make it the center piece of a “pick my brain” session, though. How retardly stupid–doling out $5,000 for a car ride while Vitale is trying to offer up sage advice while negotiating traffic. Good lord.
You know, some asshole shit stain mocked me when I mentioned that I have looked at pretty much every product these gurus have ever released, without, of course, paying for them—”Ooooo…you’ve discovered torrents…bravo.”
Yeah, that’s right, fuck stain–if you’re still reading this site–I have. Mass Control, List Control, Guru Mastermind, Product Launch Formula, Business Growth System, Seven Figure Formula, Traffic Secrets 2.0.
Unlike Salty super socialist Salty, who divides his time between railing about guys daring to make money and jerking off to picture of his hero Barry “let’s see how fast I can destroy America” Obama, I actually speak from a position of knowledge about these products.
You can’t feel sorry for someone dumb enough to pay $5K for a car ride with Vitale. What the sweet fuck could this guy possibly say in that hour to make that sum worthwhile? In ten minutes, these guys could have everything Vitale has ever written, all his courses, all his seminars. The guy isn’t entirely full of shit, but to spend money on his stuff in this day and age? When it’s now so readily available (no different than libraries making copywrited info available)? Why?
LOSER!! ::   -5
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
@the voice of reason, I’ll ignore your inane political rants and insults to Salty, and just mention that Joe started his Rolls Royce masterminds in the autumn of 2008. He’s been doing it for considerably longer than the year that you say Frank Kern has been doing his own Rolls gimmick…closer to two years. I think I believe Mark Ryan’s version of the story over your claim that Joe got the notion from Frank Kern.
Also, Joe doesn’t do the driving/traffic negotiating. He usually takes one of his cigar buddies to do the driving.
Oddly, I do feel sorry for at least some of the folks who have shelled out so much money to go on those rides, with such high hopes. But not so sorry that it keeps me awake at night.
  +3
[Reply]

RevRon Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
@the voice of reason, If imitation (even an awkward attempt at imitation) is the greatest form of flattery, obfuscation (such as turning every conversation into an opportunity to vent one’s political spleen) is perhaps the greatest form of ass-hattery. Congratulations for succeeding on both points!
BTW – You might want to re-check the timeline on Kern’s cruises.
As to the “success” achieved as a result of riding with Joe, I suspect – as has been noted – that the real motivation behind springing for the rides is the chance to get one’s hands on JV’s mailing list, or to pitch him on a joint venture. In all my years in business and PR, I’ve yet to meet someone who has the authority to spend that kind of money who is stupid enough to spend it on a ride around Wimberley sucking pearls of “wisdom” out of Joe’s… never mind. A cute hooker in a 5-star hotel room, perhaps…
WINNER!! ::   +8
[Reply]

Grumpy Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
RevRon is right on the money. These are probably mostly people looking for a hookup, such as Vitale’s mailing list, connections, or endorsement. So there may be a little bit of “junior apprentice bullshit” involved. They’d get more mileage from straight “gifting” him with stuff he likes…cigars, amulets, or perhaps large piles of food.
Here’s hoping Joe’s future “mustermind” sessions will ultimately take place on a city bus, with Joe paying.
  +1
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
@RevRon & @Grumpy & @Stoic ::
Agree that this is mostly people paying for the opportunity to present Joe on their opportunity.
Why pay Joe when you could pay Ryan?
http://saltydroid.info/ryan-deiss-endometriosis/
Cause Ryan is a Christian don’t you know? So you can trust him. He’d never wear devil worshiping love beads like Joe.
And like Ryan’s scam :: if you have a good idea then Joe can steal it. Which reminds me :: Mark Ryan :: Meg Ryan :: Kevin Bacon.
[Reply]

Babbs Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 3:16 am
Evidently, Ryan Deiss isn’t so much of a Christian that he won’t ply affiliate marketers with mail-order booze:
Matt Bacak commented on Twitter:
“Wow.. I just got a surprise package in the mail – It was Dom Perignon from Ryan Deiss.”
2:22 PM Jul 13th 2010 via web
  0
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 12:01 pm

Burned By Fire said:
It would be interesting to take a look at Joe Vitale’s Miracles Coaching **TM** beyond the Rolls Royce Mastermind. Actually, the Miracles Coaching program costs nearly as much as a Rolls Royce Mastermind, but instead of one-on-one time watching Joe Vitale suck down a steak his wannabe sycophant named after him (you can cut a Vitale steak with a fork, did you know), the Miracles Coaching victims (I mean, participants) don’t get any face time with their hero. They pay nearly that much and they get a recent college grad type person sitting on the phone with them with a study group person from “Prosper Inc.” Adding insult to injury, the miracles coaching victims then endure neverending upsell calls from Prosper for more of the same.
Compared to what I have been told from participants in miracles coaching, the Rolls Royce Mastermind appears to be a bargain.
  +6
[Reply]

Grumpy Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
@Burned By Fire, Once he taps out the declining “people who still have available credit” market, maybe he’ll release an “economy” Joe Vitale downloadable image for the masses to commune with. Unlike Hoshun, I hope instead of blank eyes, it will have a mouth that needs to be penciled in. I’d recommend not penciling it in.
  +3
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
@Burned By Fire ::
Noted.
This is but the beginning …
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pm
@Burned By Fire, Yeah, you’ve dug up some pretty good info about that Miracles Coaching scheme. My understanding is that the entire reason for the existence of Joe’s Attract Money Now book is to promote Miracles Coaching. Oh, I know Joe says that he created the book as a gift to all of us, to help us through these trying economic times. But there’s a live link to the Miracles Coaching web site on every page of the freEbook of Attract Money Now. And on Joe’s blog, when you click on most photos of people or anything else that’s not a pic of a product, you get a link not to an enlargement of the photo, but to the Attract Money Now web site that sells the not-free print version of the book. He is aggressively pushing this latest incarnation of his Miracles Coaching setup, which apparently is currently handled by the Utah-based company Prosper Inc.
http://www.prospering.com/partners/joe_vitale.php
  +4
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Unicorn Army Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
@Cosmic Connie, you’d be surprised (not!) at who else uses the same company to provide “coaching.” In fact, they and their clients all deserve a little “anchor text” from the Droid.
  +4
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
@Unicorn Army ::
Wow that’s quite a list of “partners” on that link of Connie’s. Have they replaced one Mormon Boiler Room with another?
God that’s creepy weird.
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 10:08 pm
@SD, @Unicorn Army
Prosper seems to be a Rogue’s Gallery, all right. And it has earned some dissatisfied customers, apparently…
http://208.86.2.178/showthread.php?p=790453
http://www.friendsinbusiness.com/board1/index.cgi/noframes/read/161495
  +2
[Reply]

Burned By Fire Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Here’s another very interesting explanation of what happens in Joe Vitale’s Miracles Coaching sales process:
http://inthelimelight.net/2010/07/01/joe-vitales-miracles-coaching-hypnotic-marketing-at-work/
I am pretty sure that FTC wouldn’t be very happy about the misappropriated testimonial mentioned at the bottom of that, either.
  +3
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 11:59 am
@Burned By Fire, Very interesting! But not at all surprising.
  +1

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 7:23 am
BTW, for anyone who might be puzzled about Salty’s reference to a “Mormon Boiler Room,” here’s a link to more insight:
http://saltydroid.info/russell-brunson-rocks-the-kasbah/
  +2
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Rafael Marquez Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 9:02 am
@Cosmic Connie, He looks like a little troll in that picture. I half expect him to bust out with a “My preciousssssss”
  +2
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Jack Reply:
December 3rd, 2011 at 11:37 pm
@Cosmic Connie, I just found now about how to go get the attraction-money, but when I looked down for the bottom of the AttractMoneyNow.com place it told me to go on to Harmonic Web Designs at http://www.harmonicwebsites.com/ which maybe was best help from mr. Vitale, because it got me scared from the idea that my new teacher’s harmonic-website-maker was having to go about using the Animoto video maker against TOS by not being able to give the Animoto people the $39/month for getting commercial-licenses for using around the business, but maybe it’s just that he keeps giving all the money to mr. Vitale to find out some new ways to attract greater and bigger money from all about us.
  +2
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# 14 July 2010 at 1:26 pm

Wham Bam said:
Here’s a GREAT Joe Vitale background thread for anyone who hasn’t read it yet. If Joe ever reads this, he might wet himself (again):
http://saltydroid.info/tellman-knudson-running-for-cover/#comment-9526
  +1
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
@Wham Bam ::
“A half a million won’t make a difference – it won’t save a whole lot of dying kids.”
[Reply]
# 14 July 2010 at 1:44 pm

Jean D said:
Is it just me or do these guys all look and sound like mobsters? Hell, the “get in a go for a ride with me” is straight out of The Godfather,Goodfellas or a Sopranos episode.
  +2
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SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 3:58 pm
@Jean D ::
They’d take that as a compliment.
I’m reminded more of “the short bus” :: or of “Smurfs Gone Wild”
[Reply]

Jean D Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 7:27 pm
@SD, You’re right. They like to think of themselves as ‘Ballin Gangstas’. So,I did a search and found the correct movie poster: Ray in jail clothes,Kilstein with his big board,and Vitale,well,he’s the little guy.
http://bp3.blogger.com/_qPJ_r1EhCKI/SDMrqT4pRdI/AAAAAAAAAKk/141WcdKJP5M/s1600-h/Surf-Monsters-SMALL.jpg
  +2
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# 14 July 2010 at 2:21 pm

Duff said:
Hey, is that pink Unicorn for sale? Screw the Rolls–I wanna grab life by the horn!
  +1
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SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
@Duff ::
I might be willing to sell Lil’ Pinko if the price was right. If you’d like to make me an offer you’ll need to attend my $15,000 {because I’m more popular than Joe} PiggyBack Mastermind.
FYI :: unicorns shit gold.
[Reply]

Duff Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
@SD,
If I cut the Unicorn open will I get all the gold turds at once? ‘Cause I’m in a bit of a hurry.
  +1
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SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
@Duff ::
O – M – G!!
Someone call the unicorn humane society …
[Reply]

Dodo Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 5:22 am
@SD, I”m kinda in a hurry too why arent these guys behind bars?
  0
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Unicorn Army Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
@Duff &@SD,
It’s precisely that sort of ignorance that has caused the noble Unicorn to be hunted to near-extinction.
1) Only male Unicorns poop gold, females merely fart Magic Pixie Dust.
2) It is only the “blessing of the sphincter” which compresses the feces into gold.
3) When we get *really* backed up we sometimes poop diamonds.
Carry on.
  +6
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# 14 July 2010 at 4:08 pm

jobe said:
Dr Joe must be real and genuine, because he appeared in schirmers “Succeed Magazine” (http://www.thesucceedmagazine.com/archives/191). However the “Succeed” Magazine must have “FAILED” because the last issue was in 2008. Vitales association with schirmer sums up what he really is.
  +4
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
@jobe ::
Joe never met a co-promotional opportunity that he didn’t want to rub between his sizable moobs.
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 10:11 pm
@SD, @jobe:
In happier times…
http://tinyurl.com/2ehka5u
  +6
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Boris Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
@Cosmic Connie, LOL, they look so chummy. Where’s Joe’s other hand? I can only imagine he’s using it to shove his cigar up Schirmer’s ass, and they both seem to be enjoying it.
  +5
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SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Hopefully they’re sterile :: that’s one hybrid the world surely doesn’t need.
[Reply]

Dodo Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 5:20 am
@SD, That Schirmer guy is one ugly mother fucker isnt he. He looks like he’s giggling about something and one can only imagine WHAT! Hehehehe give me some more names and addresses and you can do that all you loike.
  +1
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Gayguys Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 3:42 am
@Cosmic Connie, LOL yes yes yes now thats a splendid inmage.
  0
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Joe Reply:
July 15th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
@Cosmic Connie, how dare you post that god awful pic, dontcha know Joe’s already Pat’s little wife.
  +2
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# 14 July 2010 at 8:22 pm

Velithaene said:
Well, as a real “philosopher genius,” let me just say that your assignment of Joe Vitale to out little group of nerdy brainiacs is appalling. We are all scrubbing ourselves down with special existentialist soap made by Proctor & Gamble. Like any *actual* philosopher genius, I am dead broke – but even if I were as rich as the privileged sad sacks who go for Joe’s pitch, I wouldn’t pay $10 for a ride in his Rolls. $5, maybe… But no more. I mean, really, exactly how much can I learn from obnoxiously scented leather and Joe’s fat guy body odor/bad breath? About as much as I can learn from watching “The Secret,” which at $4.95 will save me five cents.
  +5
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# 15 July 2010 at 1:34 am

shameless said:
Guys like Vitale and Schirmer and Ray all have spent their recent lives of hype and hoo ha claiming to be the person they are not in every thinkable way. How could it be that no-one wants any of their crappy products any more. No wonder their dream homes and cars are all disappearing as quickly as they came, undoubtedly all bought on crazy amounts of finance and feigned achievements. The whole charade is a bunch of fake dreams and these sad sacks are the only ones left saying wonderfully unbelievable things about themselves. Pretty funny really.
  +5
[Reply]
# 15 July 2010 at 9:20 am

Rafael Marquez said:
Seriously though, just about everything that L’il Joe pitches on all of those websites seems like something that the FTC warns about on their dot cons page.
Here’s the dot cons page: http://ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/tech/tec09.shtm
Check out this little gem:
Business Opportunities
The Bait: Be your own boss and earn big bucks.
The Catch: Taken in by promises about potential earnings, many consumers have invested in a “biz op” that turned out to be a “biz flop.” There was no evidence to back up the earnings claims.
The Safety Net: Talk to other people who started businesses through the same company, get all the promises in writing, and study the proposed contract carefully before signing. Get an attorney or an accountant to take a look at it, too.
Good advice from the FTC, n’est pas?
Kudos to Mike Young for pointing out that link.
  +3
[Reply]
# 15 July 2010 at 9:32 am

Brad said:
thank goodness it’s time for Vitale to get some bot time.
  +3
[Reply]
# 15 July 2010 at 1:50 pm
» Pat O’Bryan :: Your Portable Empire Strikes Back said:
[...] seminars :: bogus coaching :: and $7,500 rides in leased automobiles … that’s what Pat O’Bryan is all about. That’s the [...]
  +1
# 15 July 2010 at 6:43 pm

E=Mc^2 said:
Joe Vitale sure has a lot of fans, most notably burned by fire and the young Russian girl. That’s pretty damn low for two grown men to steal from a young kid in poverty. Joe Vitale and Pat O’Bryan you are the scum of the earth. You both deserve what’s coming to you. Shame on you!
  +1
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# 16 July 2010 at 8:39 am

Clark said:
Did Joe make any money with something that doesn’t include telling people that they will become really rich if they’re happy and don’t do anything that makes them unhappy, like working hard on sth that actually has value?
Doesn’t the fact that Napoleon Hill said the same stuff years ago, yet died in poverty?
  +2
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Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 7:26 am
@Clark, Joe makes virtually all of his money telling people how they can be rich and happy and healthy and have fulfilling relationships, just like him. As for Napoleon Hill, I found this bit on the Amazon page for the abridged audio book edition of a Hill biography.
“From Publishers Weekly
Hill (1883-1970) was the author of several early self-help books-Law of Success, 1929; Think and Grow Rich, 1937; Mental Dynamite, 1941-all promoting an inspirational philosophy of personal achievement that, if followed, purportedly would lead to wealth and success. Although Hill died a prosperous man, he spent most of his life jumping from one get-rich-quick scheme to another and experienced long periods of poverty. Landers, a freelance writer, and Ritt, former executive director of the Napoleon Hill Foundation, have put a good spin on Hill’s contradictory life. Yet their account does not provide any real insight into why a man whose books were able to motivate others nonetheless deserted his wife and children several times to follow his dreams and left their financial support to others. After his wife finally divorced him, Hill married two more times. This is a public-relations bio marked by stilted writing.”
###
URL: http://www.amazon.com/Lifetime-Riches-Biography-Napoleon-Hill/dp/1932429190
Re Napoleon Hill’s life of inconsistencies: Kind of a familiar story, no?
  +2
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oh noez Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 7:32 am
@Cosmic Connie, oh noez! Not Napoleon Hill, he’s a classic, he’s an ancient idol!
  0
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Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
@oh noez, Life is full of disillusionment and disappointment, isn’t it? I’m sorry for shattering yet another idol.
  0
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# 19 July 2010 at 3:40 am

camel toe said:
Joe Vitale, I would love to know more about your ties to the infamous Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh/Osho cult. Is Rajneesh the same “Jonathan” you mention betraying you in your book?
By the way “Bhagwan” means “God”, so in essence it’s safe to say that you once viewed a mere man as God, right Joe?
Rajneesh/Osho was convicted of fraud by the Feds and in fact he denounced his own religion close to the end of his life. After Rajneesh/Osho was deported, “the community’s assets – including 93 custom-built Rolls Royces – were auctioned off. Thirteen of his lieutenants were convicted of crimes ranging from attempted murder to wiretapping.”
Seems to be a pattern of a previous history of involvement with strange cults and IM.
Joe Vitale? Pat O’Breakdown ? Please do explain. We need answers. Inquiring minds want to know.
  +4
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
@camel toe ::
I think “Jonathan” was someone other than Rajneesh. That story is just on the horizon. I think Joe will be pleased when I help him come to more clarity about those events. Right Joe? Looking forward to that are you? I like to start soft … and build … like a fucking freight train … so good luck to you.
[Reply]

Yakaru Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 11:02 am
@camel toe,
I don’t know anything much about Vitale, but I doubt that there’s much dirt on him to be found in his involvement with the Rajneesh movement/cult.
In fact I imagine the main reason why he dropped out of it was because he couldn’t climb up the hierarchy – which was not for anyone with a weak stomach. (Encounter groups, psychological demolition of dissenters etc.)
Funnily enough, the top dog among the therapists at that time is still going and is currently trying to flog himself off as a “personal life coach”.
http://www.paullowe.org/index.html
I guess times have changed from the days where you could pull the customers with alien crystal implants and breatharianism.
  +2
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Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
@camel toe & @Yakaru I can tell you with 100% certainty that “Jonathan” is not Rajneesh. “Jonathan” was very much a part of Joe’s post-Rajneesh (but considerably pre-Secret) period.
Joe has never really gone out of his way to make a secret of his former involvement with the Rajneesh cult, though it’s not something he necessarily uses as a marketing tool these days. He was with the cult for seven years and from what I understand, he became disillusioned with Rajneesh for several reasons.
He writes about it in his book, “Adventures Within: Confessions of an Inner-World Journalist.” If you don’t want to buy the book you can read the gist of it here (along with some stuff about Joe’s experiences with est):
http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2010/03/self-help-regulation-necessary.html
(Scroll down to “Going back in time: a little ‘historical’ perspective”)
Joe is really no different from many if not most self-help gurus; he has been involved in a very long series of cultish things in one way or another.
  0
[Reply]

Yakaru Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Thanks for the link, Connie. I read it when you first posted it, and was looking for it before I posted the above comment but didn’t find it. I’m surprised Vitale stuck it out for so long with Rajneesh. I am still surprised he got involved in the first place. Rajneesh’s teachings have always struck me as being the polar opposite of everything Vitale and his Secret mates teach (but these things can be rather subjective). And I can’t imagine someone like him wanting to do an encounter group – great for getting laid or getting screamed at by incompetent therapists, but terrible for learning how to screw money out of people which seems to be his prime directive nowadays. It seems like the only thing he acquired was a taste for Rolls Royces.
  +2
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SD Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
@Yakaru ::
It’s freaky that you mention Paul Lowe :: cause I just watched this non-objective “documentary” called The Workshop … about his freaky “get naked and fuck who ever you want” cult the other night on Netflix.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0939684/
So Lowe came out of the Rajneesh cult?
[Reply]

Yakaru Reply:
July 20th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
@SD,
Yup, he was the top therapist there for many years, under the name Anand Teertha. I understand he was actually a properly qualified psychotherapist, having studied under Will Schutz, one of the developers/promoters of encounter therapy.
I never met him, but friends of mine knew him fairly well and report a ruthless psycho-basher of innocent and emotionally wounded people. Talented therapist, apparently but evil, mad and has worked out that people will do anything to get laid (duh) and structures his therapy groups accordingly.
  0
[Reply]

Anonymous Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:29 am
@SD, holy hell I just watched this thing halfway through, couldn’t go any further, was very uncomfortable. Frightening the damage someone can do with other people’s minds.
  0
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# 19 July 2010 at 8:26 pm

Cosmic Connie said:
Oh, my Goddess. While all of us critics and haters and losers were down here in the Salt mines jawing about the World Cupple (Joe+Pat), it was business as usual for Joe and friends, who are still apparently doing their part to try to transform the planet. Among other things, Joe was preparing to attend the annual summer gathering of the Transformational Leadership Council, or TLC, which was held in Santa Fe, NM this year. (TLC also holds an annual winter gathering in January.) The summer meeting ended this past weekend, and the joyful participants were on their way back home as of yesterday.
And yes, despite all that has happened with the stars of The Secret, the members of the TLC are apparently still trying to convince themselves and everyone else that they are part of a very, very special group that is striving to elevate humanity. (If only humanity would quit resisting, snarking, criticizing, or — most nervy of all — croaking under their tutelage.)
Has it really been a whole year since the TLC gang gathered in Bermuda, and Personal Development for Smart People site creator Steve Pervlina tweeted madly about being part of this elite group, which also includes his new b.f.f. Joe Vitale? Time does fly. I blogged about that meeting on July 26 of last year — the day after Colleen Conaway had met her tragic end at a James Ray event in San Diego, although at that time I was of course ignorant of this tragedy. And Sweatgate was still two and a half months in the future.
James Ray, as most of you may know, was a founding member of the TLC, though his name doesn’t appear on their web site any more. At any rate he apparently wasn’t at last summer’s TLC meeting because he was busy destroying lives in San Diego. And he wasn’t at this year’s, either, because he was busy buying hats on Venice Beach or something. Some might say that the real reason was that he’s not a TLC member any more, but I’m not entirely convinced that he has actually been dropped from the TLC membership rolls, despite his name not being on the site. Of course I could be wrong.
As he did last year, Steve Pervlina is once again boasting in his falsely modest way about what an honor it is to be a member of the Transformational Leadership Council. What he both loves and hates about the TLC, he says, is that everyone there is so darned AUTHENTIC. They have all the dirt on him — his D/s activities, his past career as a thief, and so on — and by golly, they still love him.
He seems to be quite enamored of Joe Vitale, writing, “Joe and I have something in common in that we are both content machines. He’s authored 52 books, for instance, and he’s constantly giving birth to new products. I haven’t been working in this field as long as he has, but I’ve authored a respectable 1000 articles in less than 6 years, which is enough to fill about 25 books… not to mention getting one actual book published as well.”
Perv loooooooved Joe’s talk to the TLC on the topic of inspiration, gushing, “He was simply brilliant.”
Pervlina’s blog post about the TLC contains so many gems it’s hard to know where to start. He ‘splains the exclusivity of the TLC gatherings this way: “One of the most important elements is that we do this away from the public eye, sans fans and critics alike, so we can keep the energy very positive and loving but also honest and real.”
About his fellow members he says:.
“I can’t say I’ve encountered anyone there who does this kind of work for the money. If such a person exists, I’ve never met him/her. Even the ones who teach about wealth and abundance seem to be primarily motivated by the love of the work and the desire to contribute. The truth is that it breaks their hearts when they see people suffering from lack, and they want to do what they can to alleviate suffering and spread more happiness and abundance.
“I think if you got to know the people behind the scenes as I have, you’d feel immensely grateful for them. Even when they’re dealing with major personal and professional challenges, they just keep giving, giving, giving. Maybe their contributions aren’t perfect, but they do the best they can.”
Truly gagworthy. But don’t take my word for it; go see for yourself: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2010/07/an-inspirational-week/
  +2
[Reply]

Carlos Reply:
July 28th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
@Cosmic Connie, That makes me absolutely want to vomit. Do they all meet up in their covered wagons and trade people-recipes?
  +3
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Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 28th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
@Carlos, Maybe so. But we’ll never know because they keep it all so seekrit. I do know they trade frauduct ideas along with their hugs, laughter, and tears.
One of the things Pervlina was boasting about on his blog post was that he impulsively decided to offer an hour’s worth of coaching (from him) on eBay. At the time he was writing about it, the bid had gone up to $1,000! He wrote that bidding closes on July 30.
But when I followed the link to the listing just now, it had been removed.
  +3
[Reply]

Carlos Reply:
July 28th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
@Cosmic Connie, Pervlina now has a post talking about how they pulled his ebay offer, I guess because he was selling something “intangible.” You can say that again! That is one guy who really creeps me out.
  +1
[Reply]
# 28 July 2010 at 4:19 pm

Reveview said:
Have a question:
Is in the USA allowed to use the title “Dr” (as in Doctor) by someone who Never actually went to a University/College as “Dr. Joe Vitale” is using?
Couple of years back when “Mr. Fire” suddenly started using his “Dr.” title I Personally asked him Which University/College did he attend – as he claimed Dr. in Psychology – so we may be “colleagues”.
As it turned out he didn’t get his title from any of the regular schools, but from some private “Institute” where he finished some short course which – supposedly – gave him the right to use the title “Dr.”
Well, so much for us – other Stupids who spent Years of losing the time of our lives to study hard –
when we could have it in just couple of weeks!
Long live America! The country of “Unlimited Possibilities!”
IF you know How to do it!
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
@Reveview, Doctor Mister Fire did go to a real university, Kent State, for a while, but did not graduate. Today, though, he has two “doctorates”: one in metaphysical science from the University of Metaphysics/University of Sedona; and an honorary doctorate in marketing, based on books he has written, from the unaccredited online Belford University.
http://www4.vindy.com/content/local_regional/321867189382959.php
Until 2007, both the University of Metaphysics and Belford U. were on the state of Texas’ s–t list of educational institutions. That is, they were deemed illegal by the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board (THECB) — making it a possible Class B misdemeanor to use “degrees” from these institutions “in a written or oral advertisement or other promotion of a business; or with the intent to: obtain employment; obtain a license or certificate to practice a trade, profession, or occupation; obtain a promotion, a compensation or other benefit, or an increase in compensation or other benefit, in employment or in the practice of a trade, profession, or occupation; obtain admission to an educational program in this state; or gain a position in government with authority over another person, regardless of whether the actor receives compensation for the position.” [Texas Penal Code (Section 32.52)]
However, in 2007 the U of Metaphysics was removed from the THECB list because they determined that it is a non-secular institution, and the accreditation issues with which they are concerned only apply to secular institutions. Separation of church and state, y’know.
http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2009/05/good-news-on-faux-degree-front.html
More than likely, as long as people aren’t trying to use their faux degrees to practice therapy or counseling they’re not running afoul of the law. But that doesn’t make the phony degrees any more real, and it doesn’t make gurus’ use of these degrees any less insulting to those who study for years to earn genuine credentials. And while I’m not discounting the years of study Joe or anyone else may have done on their own, it seems kind of smarmy to exploit fake or questionable degrees in an effort to boost one’s credibility.
BTW, I’ve blogged about the phony degree issue several times, and just out of curiosity I typed “Whirled Musings phony degrees” in Google. Well, the first three results were links to my blog posts about the topic. But the fourth result, amazingly, linked to a site owned by none other than the Wanker of Oz, David Schirmer:
http://www.thesecretrevealed.net/how%20to%20apply%20the%20secret/rhonda-byrne-phony.html
His Web people have apparently busied themselves ensuring that all roads, including critical roads, lead to his site.
  +4
[Reply]

mop head Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
@Cosmic Connie, I so enjoy reading your comments. Such a refreshing personality with lots of food for thought. :)
  +2
[Reply]

RevRon Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
@Reveview, what would you expect from someone who has alternately given himself titles like The Buddha of the Internet, the Charles Atlas of the Internet, and the original farce, Mr. Fire? IMO, his adoption of the phony “Doctor” moniker is actually a step backward on his grandiose path. And if the suckers swallowed all the other self-applied “titles,” there’s no reason to believe they have the sense to question his latest phony credential. Heck, it probably even gets him laid once in awhile, which I suspect has long been a significant element in his motivation to so adorn himself.
  +3
[Reply]

Bill Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
@RevRon, Joe just doesn’t get it, that all this posturing and pretense makes him look like an absurd cartoon. I still laugh when I see him using the phrase, “The Vitale Estate” next to his address. Even the truly wealthy don’t use self-aggrandizing verbiage like that. Only insecure wannabes.
I guess Joe will never comprehend that all his posturing does is emphasize that he has a small penis, not the large one he wishes he had.
Sooner or later some mainstream media is going to trip over the truth and report it (and by trip over, I mean totally by accident, because you know there is no such thing as investigative journalism any more). Joe better re-enroll in community college now so he can catch up with his educational projections.
  +2
[Reply]

SD Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
IMO :: if what you are selling is essentially your personal credibility or experiences … then the things you say about yourself are in fact the “the claims” of your product. Which goes back to the discussion we’ve had in many other places about government regulation. I continue to believe that whole discussion is false. You already aren’t supposed to be able to misrepresent yourself or your product in commerce. Yet they ALL do it … and not very cheekily either.
The question isn’t about new laws … it’s about sensible enforcement. New laws might help clarify things … but if the enforcement isn’t effectual … it won’t matter. Similarly :: if we could get pimped out enforcement … then a massive dent could be made without a single new law.
Joe isn’t a “Dr.” If he wants to tell his mom that he is … or some chick he’s trying to pick up in a hotel lobby … fine. But if he wants to sell goods or services … then “Dr. Vitale” is an unacceptable misrepresentation.
[Reply]
# 5 August 2010 at 11:04 am

Kim said:
I’ve had a run in with good old Dr Joe-he was flogging a website that was being investigated by the FTC-my reply when emailing him?
“Its just marketing”
This fucktard that would go to the opening of an envelope should manifest himself himself a fucking treadmill!
Should anyone really want to be truly enlightened than may I respectfully suggest the author Stuart Wilde.
Oh and here’s my “secret”
Work fucking hard
Read a lot-positive shit forget the consensual media
Eat well and exercise everyday
Count your blessings there’s always some poor cunt worse off than you
Thank your God of choice for what you HAVE everyday not for what you don’t
Stop your whinny bitch moaning and get on with the job
Treat others good or Jesus will kick your arse when it comes to judgment day and you’ll be right back here as a fucking cockroach
And my fucking favorite drink good wine and don’t forget to go camping!
  +4
[Reply]

Anonymous Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 8:52 am
@Kim, you forgot one point: Stop trying to get something for nothing people!! Life doesn’t work that way.
  +1
[Reply]

Stoic Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
@Kim, An interesting discourse on Stuart Wilde’s latest expensive scam:
http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,82773,page=1
  +3
[Reply]
# 27 August 2010 at 8:09 am
How to Take the Plunge into Complete Narcissism: on Steve Pavlina’s Subjective Reality | Beyond Growth said:
[...] guru. What could possibly go wrong? He might just have sex with everyone he can, or maybe just bilk his dream characters out of money through elaborate schemes. Or maybe, just maybe, people might die because of it. And why would he care? It’s only a [...]
  0
# 21 October 2010 at 10:14 pm

Christopher said:
I’ve always said to myself, “This Droid character has a very Woot-esque writing style.”
That thought combined with my feeling that The Secret is someone’s sick plan to turn everyone into a Don Quixote clone made this little ad selling a JVC camcorder on Woot even funnier than it would have normally been:
http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=14851
JVC Everio Full HD Camcorder with 20x Optical Zoom
WOOT by Wootbot on October 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
The Power Of Positive Insanity
Fantastic morning, winners! Are you ready to use the secret science of positive attraction to bring you the JVC HD Camcorder you’ve always dreamed of?
I’m Robb Gurdmann, and I’m here to tell you you can have anything you want! Love! Money! Success! A live woolly mammoth! Negative people might tell you “woolly mammoths have been extinct for thousands of years.” And you know what? They’re right – if you believe woolly mammoths have been extinct for thousands of years. But if you can train your mind to really believe in that mammoth, if you make a space in your life to receive that mammoth, anything is possible!
Let me tell you a story about how my life was changed. When my left eye was blinded by a railroad spike in a juggling mishap, I realized that it wasn’t an “accident.” The magnetic power of my own negative thought patterns had attracted that spike to my eye! I could’ve whined about losing half of my sight. Instead, I understood it was an opportunity to see the world a whole new way!
– Read the rest here: http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=14851
  +1
[Reply]

stoic Reply:
December 4th, 2011 at 5:53 pm
@Christopher,
Forget the camcorder, I’ll take a bobcat.
  0
[Reply]
# 22 October 2010 at 6:20 pm

Cosmic Connie said:
Well, people are still being scammed on the Interwebz, the US economy is still in a shambles, and there is much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth — but all is right in the world, by golly, because Mr. Fire just bought himself a $30,000 watch! He originally bought a $10,000 watch but it turns out that the $30,000 one was what he really wanted; he just had to clear away some negative gunk in his thinking, and crash through his own “ceiling of deservingness,” in order to realize his goal.
http://blog.mrfire.com/the-30000-gold-watch/
And our old friend Barry Thomas Bechta, the “Phantom Rider” I mentioned way up there on my July 14 comment, is right up there bowing and scraping and praising Joe for his profound insights, though Barry apparently still has yet to achieve anything remotely close to the level of “abundance” his idol has reached. Maybe one day he’ll wake up to the fact that brown-nosing Mr. Fire is not the path to riches.
  +2
[Reply]

_cartman_ Reply:
November 13th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Fire just bought himself a $30,000 watch!
That is a universal coincidence….I just bought a $30,000 watch…only it wasn’t $30,000 it was like $30…it’s a Patek Phillipe…
wait a minute…NO…it’s a Phillip Patel…WTF…”made in india” [[is that another name for geneva...I don't think it is]]??…I’ve been robbered!…damn you universal…
actually I just found a nice picture of 180K watch…cut it out of the magazine and taped it around my wrist…sweet…it’s only a matter of time now…..
matter of time…get it….two funny
  +2
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
November 14th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
@_cartman_, Congratulations on your new almost-watch, and thank you for sharing yet another example of the Law of Attraction inaction. Funny thing is, I keep reading that watches are all but obsolete among the tech generation, who depend upon their cell phones or other electronic devices to give them the time of day. Wearing a watch is supposed to be a sign of impending geezerdom rather than a status symbol, no matter how much one shells out for that accessory.
I’m neutral on the subject myself. Though I’ve worn them in the past, I’ve never much cared for watches, because time and I don’t get along very well. (Thyme and I do get along, though I prefer tarragon in most cases.) I do have clocks all over the house — cheap Wal-mart products for the most part; I’m such an underachiever — but I try not to look at them any more than necessary.
But remember, Mr. Fire says it’s not about the $30,000 gold watch; it’s about what it represents. And I think he’s right, although I also suspect that most of us here have an entirely different idea of what it *really* represents than he does.
  +1
[Reply]
# 13 November 2010 at 1:57 pm

Kim said:
I’m shattered! I’ve plunged to the depths of despair after reading that.
To think that I made do with a second hand Rolex(the datejust)when I should have manifested a platinum version worth at least 20K. Well I’ve been put well and truly in my place now.
Joe expect a VERY large order for every damn course,book,CD,DVD and whatever else you own.
Seriously although I have no problems with prosperity and spirituality being
used in the same sentence I wander sometimes with all the material possessions filling up Joes life,with all the washing,polishing and dusting associated with keeping all these trinkets all bright and sparkly how he actually has anytime left for anything else(Ahem…like using a treadmill!)
  +2
[Reply]

Chip Reply:
November 13th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
@Kim, Just guessing, but Joe probably only uses his treadmill as a form of transportation (maybe to get from one pile of donuts to another).
  +1
[Reply]

Kim Reply:
November 13th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
@Chip, heh heh….You”ll see further up on this thread my opinion of Dr “I’d go to the opening of an envelope if I thought I could make a quick buck” Vitale.
All the cars,all the clothes,all the BS don’t hide the fact that he’s a fat rip off merchant. Hey Joe baby wasn’t it your favorite person PT Barnum that said there’s one born every minute?
Like David “squirmy Shirmmer mate I would’nt give you the steam off my piss on a cold day!
  +2
[Reply]
# 13 November 2010 at 2:37 pm

Velithaene said:
“Only one person receives any actual benefit from these sessions. That person is a short :: fat :: mean little fuck who knows full well that he’s hurting people.”
I agree. He HAS to know these people aren’t going to get anywhere with these lousy ideas and craptastic sites. He has to know that – and he pumps them full of sunshine and takes the huge payment anyway.
That’s what happens when you aren’t troubled by a conscience. The REAL secret of all secrets in business is that lack of conscience is the number one best and fastest way to get a Rolls of your own.
  +2
[Reply]
# 20 November 2010 at 3:38 pm

Cosmic Connie said:
Oh, Good Goddess. Now Mr. Fire is comparing himself to Abe Lincoln.
http://blog.mrfire.com/chasing-dimes-or-the-divine/
He defends his Miracles Coaching program, which (as has been discussed here previously) is yet another “Mormon boiler room”: “My Miracles Coaching program, for example, has about 300 people involved in running it. Obviously I can’t give it away for free. Those 300 people also have bills to pay.”
He also writes: “Am I serving or selling? It depends on the lens you look through. You have a choice. For me, I promote what I love and think will be of value to you. It’s of the purest intent.”
In other words, all of the “squabbling” critics are just looking at him through a distorted lens.
  +4
[Reply]

Frank Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 1:05 am
@Cosmic Connie, Abraham Lincoln? That’s funny, I’m more inclined to compare Joe to a piece of shit.
  +2
[Reply]

422 Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 8:30 am
@Cosmic Connie, can’t he work a miracle so that he won’t need 300 people for the coaching?
  0
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 11:05 am
@422, Who needs miracles when you have aggressive sales tactics, such as grilling people about their credit limit and then offering them a coaching program that, coincidentally, costs exactly as much as they have available on their card?
http://tinyurl.com/2eat24f
(The link above is for the benefit of those who might not have seen it yet. Be sure to read the comments, which contain other useful links.)
Here is another interesting quotation from Mr. Fire in the “Dimes or Divine” blog post I cited earlier:
“I can’t control what you think, and I don’t want to even try. I do the best I can, based on my passion and my connection to the Divine.”
That seems kind of at odds with Marketing Joe, who is all about selling “hypnotic” marketing techniques that “Will Get You Massive FREE Web Traffic, Deeply Seduce Your Prospects, And Give You Forbidden Persuasion Techniques That Will Put Your Customers Into A Buying Trance!”
https://www.hypnoticmarketing.com/
Then there’s this one:
http://www.mrfire.com/corporate/index2-hi-res.html
At least someone named “Linda” (and no, I’m not “Linda”) is really calling him on his crap on his “Dimes or Divine” post.
http://blog.mrfire.com/chasing-dimes-or-the-divine/#comment-178649
  +3
[Reply]

Frank Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
@Cosmic Connie, Joe can be so delusional. In his response to “Linda,” he said: “BTW, I noticed the self-promotion in your comment.” Now, that’s ridiculous, and obviously Joe’s idiotic attempt at veiled insult. She made a totally anonymous comment without any connectable info or link. That makes self-promotion impossible. Joe is such a jackass.
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
@Frank, LOL. Ron and I both noticed that. It’s not the first time Joe has employed the veiled insult/passive-aggressive response. I noticed he ended with a smiley icon instead of his former characteristic “blessings,” though. In fact he hasn’t used “blessings” much at all lately; I guess he got tired of the snide comments from people who saw through it.
I also noticed a comment from one of Joe’s defenders, “venus 2025″:
“…I learned from you how not to pay attention to criticism and opinions of others. I am surprised you even wrote this blog [post]. I am a great fan of yours and I would not pay attention to that person’s comment and I am sure there are many others like me.”
Eye-rolling stuff.
  +2
[Reply]
# 12 December 2010 at 5:37 pm

Kim said:
Koolaid anyone?
  0
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
@Kim, Nah, Koolaid is so yesterday. Make it Youth Juice, or a Fit-a-Rita.
  +2
[Reply]
# 13 December 2010 at 1:59 pm

Cosmic Connie said:
As one who has been under a lot of stress the past few days because of mandatory evacuations due to wildfires in my area — and we’re still not out of danger, apparently — I was kind of relieved that at least “Mr. Fire” had refrained from making any of his usual ludicrous statements about the cause of the wildfires. I even expressed that relief on Facebook. Well, I spoke (or wrote) too soon.
Today I saw this:
http://blog.mrfire.com/a-texas-wildfires-solution/
As I noted on Facebook, this latest blog post is basically just a rehash of his ludicrous messages about Hurricane Rita, and then later Ike, few years ago. And those “scientific studies” he cites about how intentions influence stuff like fires, hurricanes, etc. are ALL from the Maharishi/TM cult.
When reading his Texas wildfires blog post I noticed that Joe was concentrating on the Central Texas wildfires, which is the area where he lives. I don’t think he is even aware of the really horrible stuff that is going on in my neck of the woods (Waller-Grimes-Montgomery counties).
WINNER!! ::   +7
[Reply]

mojo Reply:
September 10th, 2011 at 4:50 am
@Cosmic Connie,
Hmmm. If “These fires probably represent our own inner anger”, ummmm, what does the moniker “Mr. Fire” represent, I wonder?
If indeed “These fires probably represent our own inner anger”, then that also explains all the torrential, monsoon-like rain WE’VE been getting here in the northeast. Because I tend to be a fairly happy and contented person, and I assume, in this whole spirit of taking-our-lame-metaphors-way-too-literally, that rain is the opposite of fire.
If my neighbors were planning a barbecue or a day at the beach, well, sorry. I’ll try not to be so goddamned happy next time.
WINNER!! ::   +7
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
September 10th, 2011 at 9:28 am
@mojo, Oh, silly girl. The rain can be likened unto tears. Perhaps there are too many sad and depressed people in your region, or too many negative thinkers in general. I’m not saying that YOU, personally, are sad and depressed — at least not on the surface. But what about all of that unconscious muck, the stuff beneath the surface? It sounds to me as if you need some expensive Miracles Coaching or some other frauduct or flopportunity to uncover and release your inner sadness once and for all. Meanwhile, could you PUH-LEEZE send some of that rain our way?
  +6
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
September 10th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
@Mojo, looks like I was right about rain representing tears.
http://blog.mrfire.com/a-texas-wildfires-solution/#comment-220603
  +2
[Reply]

KG Reply:
September 13th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
In the event my question/comment gets deleted from Mr. Vitale’s website (since it is awaiting moderation), I will post it here as it will not likely get deleted:
“I’m curious as to whether you would have the guts to look into the eyes of the parents of the woman with the 18 month old who died in the fires, and tell them that it was her “inner anger” that likely caused the fires.
Prayer is wonderful, however compassion is also needed in this situation.
Your blog sorely lacks this virtue”.
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
September 13th, 2011 at 9:19 pm
@KG, Good comment. I saw he did publish it and he protested that his post was all about compassion, and that he’d said *collective* anger was a possible cause, not any individual’s anger. He noted we can all help but that “ridicule is not one of the choices.” Sez who?!?
I also noted that he published a link to a story that said the wildfires are coming under control. You can be pretty sure that he will correlate that development to his love-bomb campaign, just as he did with Hurricane Rita, which went from a Category 5 to a Category 2 after he sent out his email blast.
Meanwhile, as I type this it is after 10:00 PM local time, and the fires in my area are flaring up again. And so it goes.
  +2
[Reply]
# 9 September 2011 at 3:16 pm

Kim said:
Joe “These fires probably represent our own inner anger.”
Yep I’d be pretty upset I’d been scammed by joes “miracles coaching”course or one or the other of his money grubbing scams.
Perhaps those people could apply one of joes “visualisation techniques”
Could go something like this:
Visualise sending heat,visualualise joes genitalia warming up,getting hotter,send feelings of great warmth to joes nether regions visualise joes face getting redder….LOL
  +4
[Reply]

Roy Reply:
September 10th, 2011 at 1:44 am
@Kim, Just focus your visualization on Joe’s bladder. His bullshit may never have failed to fill his greasy wallet, but his bladder has let him down:
http://saltydroid.info/tellman-knudson-running-for-cover/#comment-9656
  +2
[Reply]

4222 Reply:
September 13th, 2011 at 9:38 am
@Roy, you are so wrong for that LOL you know that’s a very sensitive trigger for Joe.
  +1
[Reply]

Roy Reply:
September 13th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
@4222, You say that, but then you go and bring up Joe’s trigger. Granted, it’s probably a very small trigger.
  0
[Reply]
# 9 September 2011 at 3:34 pm

Citizen Noir said:
Hi hate Joe Vitale – ’nuff said he is a liar and a cheat and anyone who believes in HIM can kiss my butt ’nuff said
  +3
[Reply]

Watson Reply:
September 12th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
@Citizen Noir, There is no way I’d ever argue with that.
  +1
[Reply]
# 11 September 2011 at 5:53 am

Cosmic Connie said:
Will the circle jerk be unbroken
Buy and buy, Lord, buy and buy
“I got rich and you can too, dude!”
Is a lie, Lord, it’s a lie.*
http://www.instantmanifestationbook.com/
You will see some familiar names in the “incentive” package that was put together to help propel Mr. Fire’s latest opus to Amazon bestseller status. The book, which was released yesterday (Oct. 11) and is based on Joe’s blog posts (how easy is that?), has indeed been in the top 100 on Amazon for a couple of days now, thanks no doubt to aggressive email and social media marketing. It was produced by Joe’s pal Pat O’s new self-publishing service, Portable Empire Publishing. Authors have to pay to have their books published by this company — at least most of them do; Joe, probably not. (But shhh! Don’t call it self-publishing.)
Now I’m heading back to the current thread about Spider Woman. Just thought this worth a mention.
* Okay, I wrote the chorus. Y’all can write the verses if you’ve a mind to.
  +3
[Reply]

_cartman_ Reply:
October 12th, 2011 at 2:01 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Good job on the chorus!…but that song is !very difficult! to manipulate…so I “created”/altered one that fits Joe…
Twas the night before Fruition, when all through the land
The LOA’ers were manifesting, something quite grand.
Their visions were hung over the chimney with care,
In hopes that the universe soon would bring there.
Our cats were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of tuna danced in their heads.
My wife in her ‘kerchief, not buying the crap,
Had just closed her brain to all this claptrap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my surprised eyes should appear,
But a short little fat man, drinking a beer.
A little mad hatter, so defensive and sally,
I knew in a moment it must be Vi-Tale.
More rapid than spam his offers did come,
he whistled, and shouted, and called me pure scum!
“now Manifest! now Create! a reality so lucid!
buy all my coarses, and stop being stupid!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
give me cash, give me cash, give me it all!”
And then, in a moment, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of this stupid goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Vi-tale came with a thump of a sound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
the clothes of a pimp all tarnished with soot.
His bundle of coarses he had flung on his back,
And was like a dealer, just peddling his crack.
The end of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,
the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a plump face and a fat round belly,
That shook when he cackled, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, with a hubris old smell,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of this hell!
In a wink of an eye he gave me his pitch,
I had no reason to believe, this son of a bitch.
Joe spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all my stockings, with spam like a jerk.
Joe ran up the stairs to try selling my wife,
not being amused, she pulled out her knife.
He ran down the stairs, and called me a whore
and away he proceeded right out the front door
Joe sprang to his car, giving his driver a shout
put the peddle to the metal and get the hell out.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Manifester my future, and I’ll have a good-life!”
  +6
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
October 13th, 2011 at 10:02 am
@_cartman_, Awwww. Now I’m feeling all Christmas-y and sentimental!
  +3
[Reply]

Anonymous Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 9:26 am
@_cartman_, brilliant, you’ve got such talent. Joe Vitale should be honored.
  0
[Reply]
# 12 October 2011 at 11:02 am

Cosmic Connie said:
Oh, my stars, it’s the end of an error. I mean, an era. Mr. Fire recently revealed that he has “sold” his Rolls-Royce Phantom. See item number 3 in today’s blog post:
http://blog.mrfire.com/7-ways-to-get-clear-to-attract-faster
(I apologize in advance for any unpleasant visuals about that whole massage routine.)
He doesn’t say exactly when he “sold” his Rolls, though presumably it was quite recently. And while he may indeed have announced the “sale,” as he claimed in the blog post, I didn’t see that announcement anywhere.
Joe acquired the Rolls-Royce in San Diego in September of 2008. As noted several times in earlier comments on this thread, Joe leased the car so he could get a better write-off. That’s according to a former friend of his who was with him at the time he acquired the car.
So now, approximately 36 months after *leasing* it, he’s gone and “sold” it. In any event, he no longer has it. I’m sure that thousands of would-be Master Mind Phantom riders are weeping over the lost opportunity to ride their way to riches with Mr. Fire in his Rolls. But really, they’ve nothing to weep about. He is still offering plenty of opportunities for folks to throw their money away; Miracles Coaching comes to mind. And there’s always that proposed $50,000 weekend on Richard Branson’s heart-shaped isle.
The Rolls Master Mind site is still up on the web, so if people reading the site and not knowing that Joe no longer has his Rolls decide they want to “invest” five grand, and they contact his office to sign up for a night of luxury and masterminding, there’s a chance they can be talked into wasting their money on something else.
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I should add that the Paypal links for Phantom rides costing from $5,000 to $7,500 are still apparently functional, so presumably someone could drop thousands of dollars without even speaking with someone in the office first and finding out that the event no longer exists. I’m not necessarily suggesting anyone would be that foolish in today’s tight economy, but then again, you never know.
  +4
[Reply]

stoic Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 3:47 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
I’m sure that opportunist Joe has finally figured out that if his paypal suddenly sprouts big monies from a person needing a quick mastermind session, he can rent a limo by the hour–maybe even a Rolls.
And the vicious circle rolls on ..and on ..and on…
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
@stoic, LOL. You’re probably right. OTOH, maybe he’s just saving up for a private jet, since he has also mentioned the possibility of a private jet Master Mind.
  +3
[Reply]

Tex Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 11:15 pm
@Cosmic Connie, I’m hoping for the day when Joe will offer to let people walk alongside him for spare change, while he pushes his broom cart.
  +2
[Reply]

stoic Reply:
December 13th, 2011 at 11:15 pm
@Tex,
Do you really think he’ll ever be homeless, Tex, while the vicious circle rolls on?
Loyal to no-one maybe, but homeless?
which reminds me of a great tune I came across, a bit banging for the tender-eared, but it works for me,
edit:: Nope, still cant post, that dang man in the box,
Dropkick Murphy’s doing Amazing Grace, its on Utube (let your fingers do the walking–you know the drill)
NO FUCKING SLACK
  +1
[Reply]
# 12 December 2011 at 2:10 pm

Mike said:
So it’s $7500 for a car ride? I’d heard of this scheme but did not realize the price tag. C’mon, all humor aside….how much is enough. I guess the $7500 tag produces less refunds than the $997. I mean ask Andy Jenkins…
“Ah, I’d like to see you slap a $2000 price price point on it” or “Yap, that’ll mean it’s the Magic Bullet”
Incredible.
  +2
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 9:18 am
@Mike, He supposedly charged $7,500 only for those who chose to ride alone with him and another renowned “expert” — generally a member of his famous Wimberliars Mafia, which apparently is no longer quite the Mafia that it was. If another gullible soul joined the party, the price dropped down to $5,000 per person. (Although celebrity fitness model Jennifer Nicole Lee claimed that SHE spent $10,000 for her ride, highlights of which were filmed by ABC News.)
But apparently Joe no longer has the Rolls (see my comment above, (# 12 December 2011 at 2:10 pm)). He wrote on his blog that he “sold” it, but since he had actually leased it in the first place (according to a former buddy of his who was with him when he acquired the car), my best guess is that the three-year lease simply expired. But I suspect that the demand for the Rolls Masterminds had dried up some time prior to that. On the Phantom Mastermind site, there doesn’t seem to be any mention of a ride that took place after March 2010. And there doesn’t seem to be a link to the Mastermind site on his blog any more, although of course he is still aggressively pushing his Miracles Coaching boiler room scheme.
  +3
[Reply]

Mike Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 10:37 am
@Cosmic Connie,
I wonder if I can talk him into letting my Spirit ride shotgun for only $1999. Hey, if you’ll agree to go in on it with me, perhaps the price would drop to $997. I mean after all, one only lives once.
I’d just have to request some clearing music to be played in the background. :-)
  +3
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 10:42 am
@Mike, Wow. What an offer. Unfortunately, I’m not even welcome on Joe’s blog any more, and he has blocked my email address, so I don’t think my Spirit would be welcome on his Rolls Royce ride. OTOH, money is money, so if we were actually paying him, he might consider lifting the ban temporarily.
  +5
[Reply]

Dale Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 8:46 pm
@Cosmic Connie, I was thinking what a jackass Joe has become, but then I realized, he’s always been a jackass. He’s just not doing as good a job at hiding it.
Honestly, I’ve seen the comments you’ve made on his blog. They aren’t over the top, or mean, or unreasonably aggressive. The fact that he can’t deal with them, and resorted to banning you…what a hollow, shell of a “man” he is.
  +5
[Reply]

Jack Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 12:19 am
@Cosmic Connie, He’s not much of the fan of the Detractor Factor, eh?
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
@Dale, I think what JV found most problematic was that my comments always included a link to my blog, which does not exactly paint him in the most flattering light. And I often provide links in my blog posts to Salty’s blog, which is even harsher on Joe and his buds than I am.
@Jack: JV may not be a fan of “The Detractor Factor,” but he is apparently a believer in the Law of Redaction. http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2011/08/mr-fire-and-law-of-redaction.html
  +2

Mike Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 9:27 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Well after some diligent and rigorous research, I have learned that the mastermind now takes place in Joe’s hot tub. For one person the cost is just $1997…now for between 2-3 people the cost is dramatically lower @ only $997…he said that he wanted to reach more people and this was his way of giving back to the Universe.
Now here’s where it gets even better…for the bonus Joe will allow you to watch him chant…”I’m sorry..I love you…please forgive me and thank you.”
I mean how could you say no?
  +4
[Reply]

Woody Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 4:21 pm
@Mike, Does “ecology-minded” Joe power his hot tub naturally (by say, having Pat sit off to one side and eat burritos)?
  +2

DownPlunder Reply:
January 21st, 2012 at 8:02 pm
@Mike, Hilarious Connie, unmissable.
  +1
# 15 January 2012 at 2:31 am

Mike said:
@Woody
Nope…there was no mention of such magic…All I know is that the landing page goes down at midnight Friday…
The first 43 that sign up will be treated to a car ride down to the Hornschmuggler’s Tavern in Austin….whereby a private Mastermind will be held. At the event, all will have the opportunity to witness Perry Belcher compete in the WTF Rib Eating Contest. Shit just keeps getting better all the time.
Here’s to hoping my newly ordered credit cards get here before this Friday.
  +3
[Reply]
# 19 January 2012 at 3:27 am

Cosmic Connie said:
Mystery solved: the luxury Masterminds will roll on. But this time they’ll be in a Fisker Karma, an electric luxury car. It’s RESPONSIBLE luxury. It’s the green thing to do.
Sez Joe in a recent email:
“I have a rare and exclusive opportunity for you.
“Last year I gave away three of my cars,
and sold my Rolls-Royce Phantom. This year I
bought a 2012 electric luxury car.
“I’ve been doing Masterminds in the Rolls-Royce
for years. Now it’s time to offer something just
as rare and valuable but in an environmentally
friendly luxury vehicle.
“I’m now ready to do a private mastermind with you
in my Fisker Karma.
“Top Gear rated the Fisker Karma the luxury car
of the year.
“Doing a private brainstorming session in the
car feels like the earth-friendly thing to do.
“We’ll call it ‘The Green Mastermind.’
“This is your once in a blue moon chance to spend
one on one time with me, and with another expert
of my choosing, focused entirely on you…
“…In a way, here’s your chance to overcome your Karma.
Love,
Joe.”
###
What price Karma? According to the Wikipedia article (sourcing a December 2011 FOX News piece), “Since December 2011 pricing in the U.S. starts at US$102,000 for the basic model, and US$116,000 for the top model.”
As for the Mastermind itself, there’s more good news. As Joe notes, this time your luxury ride will be all one-on-one. Or actually two-on-one. No longer do you have to share your ride with another sucker like you. No, in the Karma you get Joe all to yourself…well, almost. Part of the package deal is that you also get another expert of Joe’s choosing (prolly his best buddy Pat O.) Won’t that be fun?
No word on what the price structure will be. Will it be $7,500, like the single Rolls-Royce Masterminds? Or $5,000, like the two-up RR Masterminds? Or more? Or less? I think you have to contact Joe’s trusty servant Suzanne for those details.
But you must hurry because spaces are limited! The dates for the first two Fister…I mean FISKER Karma Masterminds are February 24 and March 22.
  +4
[Reply]

Mike Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Good lord,
So. That was an actual email?? That should go straight to the WTF HALL OF FAME, I remember I liked Joes stuff for a while. Then, as I was listening to a binary beat or he’d just released there was another program and another and another x. Fro chi g 1000000000000000000
As much as I joke about this stuff, this is just sad…this car ride crap is nothing short of a criminal act on the desperate and he used green shoes, shoots or other bullshit to hide behind…shame on you Vitale! You’re a pig!
  +2
[Reply]

Mike Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 3:09 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Good lord,
So. That was an actual email?? That should go straight to the WTF HALL OF FAME, I remember I liked Joes stuff for a while. Then, as I was listening to a binary beat or he’d just released there was another program and another and another x. Fro chi g 1000000000000000000
As much as I joke about this stuff, this is just sad…this car ride crap is nothing short of a criminal act on the desperate and he used green shoes, shoots or other bullshit to hide behind…shame on you Vitale! You’re a pig!
  +2
[Reply]

Jack Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
@Cosmic Connie, “overcome your Karma”? Did mr. Fire have brain minimization surgery of late?
  +3
[Reply]

Lanna Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 5:14 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
Mr. Fire’s car has been recalled due to a fire hazard. How ’bout that karma?
Wouldn’t it be even more environmentally sound for him to meet people in an office (or do calls or Skype meetings) rather than drive around for hours? I know when I’m paying business experts by the hour I want their full attention. I don’t need them glancing out the window, looking longingly at the Wendy’s drive-thru.
Also, he sets this up like riding in a luxury car is a rarefied experience that mere mortals can’t even contemplate affording, but the Rolls-Royce Phantom can be rented from $450. I’m not saying we’re all gonna run out and rent one, but if tooling around in a luxury car is on your bucket list, for what Joe charges you can rent a Vitale-stink-free one for a whole week.
  +3
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 7:24 pm
@Mike: I agree about that email belonging in the WTF Hall of Fame.
@Jack: LOL.
@Lanna, $450 per month? Reportedly Joe was paying ten times that much to lease “his” Phantom. And fire hazard? Well, he *is* Mr. Fire, after all. Also, re the ‘greenness” of the Karma, a friend pointed this link out to me:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/warrenmeyer/2011/10/20/update-fisker-karma-electric-car-gets-w orse-mileage-than-an-suv/
  +1
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Oops, sorry about that broken link about the Fisker Karma’s lousy mileage. Y’all can probably put it back together and follow it if you’re interested. Or you can do some Googling about the Fisker Karma’s mileage being worse than an SUV. Or you can Google about about how the Fisker Karma is NOT a green car. Or something like that. And let’s not forget that the Fisker Karma is a fire hazard. That’s luxury with a touch of adventure!
  +1
[Reply]

Lanna Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
@Cosmic Connie,
No, that’s $450 per hour. There’s probably a three-hour minimum, too. If you follow the link they show rental places around the U.S. with pricing. For about $2k a week you get the Phantom and a professional driver. Again, I’m not sayin’ we’ll all rush out and get one, I’m just sayin’ an everyday middle-class person could choose a yearly Phantom staycation instead of an all-inclusive in Cancun. It’s something a little bit of money can buy, not a grand experience like meeting the Queen or the Pope or Bono.
  +2
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 8:49 pm
@Lanna, Blush. I should have followed the link. Still, your point is well taken. Of course Mr. Fire would probably say that those $450-an-hour Phantom rides don’t come with his priceless marketing and McSpirituality knowledge.
  +1
[Reply]

Lanna Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 1:05 am
@Cosmic Connie,
As a professional marketing writer, I’m confident the cars are a ploy to distract from the fact that the word for Joe’s marketing advice is worthless, not priceless. Personally, I prefer locally produced and imported small-batch Spirituality. It’s crunchier.
  +2

zipnar Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 7:28 pm
@Lanna,
Mr. Fire’s car has been recalled due to a fire hazard. How ’bout that karma?
Is that karma, or irony? Both are equally amusing.
  +2
[Reply]
# 25 January 2012 at 1:47 pm

CitizenNoir said:
I am waiting for Mr fucking Fire to have a case of the “spontaneous human combustion” – after all he is so “Hot” ain’t he.
Once he has gone then a quick whip round to hire a out of work KGB hitman to take the rest of the merry group of hucksters into a field and see if their Law of Attraction will stop a large caliber round!!!
Now that is a program I would pay for… a reality tv show.
“I AM A SELF GURU WISH ME OUTTA HERE”
the greatest self help gurus of the world are all let loose in the rain forests of central america and they have 48 hours to evade the nasty men with guns using there channeling, karmic magical wealth creation super powers
will they success or will they end up like those power “soldiers from Fort Bragg” in the film Predator????
Coming to a cable channel near you very fucking soon
  +1
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
@CitizenNoir, Speaking metaphorically, of course. I suppose this is the point at which I should clarify that I personally do not wish any actual violence against anyone, nor do I condone it. I just want the h-dorks to stop scamming people.
  +3
[Reply]

DownPlunder Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 10:15 pm
@Cosmic Connie, If only it were that simple Connie. One must fight fire with fire it seems. When Low Blow Joe gets the message that he is no fucking genius, he will realize it is he who screwed himself and he’ll give himself his own aha moment. How sad when people have to offer other people a ride in their car to fund their life habits and make them feel good about themselves. Whats a good fit Joe? Answer Joe: Anyone with enough disposable income to pay me. Thats about as shallow and predictable as it gets. Anyone falling for these parasites should check their greed levels.
  0
[Reply]

I wantz 2B rich Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 12:18 am
@Cosmic Connie,
You rock! I couldn’t help but going to check out Mr. Fire’s site after wading through the horseshit. I found a hilarious Freudian slip on his January 7, 2011 entry on the ancient art of Hawaiian Hocus-pocus (http://www.mrfire.com/podcast.html).
“Use Ho’oponopono for EVERYTHING. …the “turn to” practice that will clean and clear the problem…CULTIMATELY erasing it!”
Another shining member of the Scamformational Leadership Council!
  +3
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 12:25 pm
@I wantz 2B rich, Thanks for the compliment. And that Freudian slip you found is priceless; I hadn’t seen that one. Ironic, too, that the radio host JV praises in that post is also named Connie — an altogether different Connie, of course.
And just in case you don’t know the story behind Joe’s fixation with Ho’oponopono, you must read the tale of the psychologist who claimed (and whom Joe claimed) to have cured an entire ward full of criminally insane patients in Hawaii — without ever seeing any of them — just by doing Ho’ocus-pocus.
http://www.mrfire.com/article-archives/new-articles/worlds-most-unusual-therapist.html
Here’s a similar but more reliable tale:
http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2007/06/mahalo-dr-yew.html
  +2
[Reply]

Jack Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
@CitizenNoir, Can you tell me about when “http://saltydroid.info/frank-kerns-bad-mother/#comment-55949″>Fucking Vitale change the name to “Mr fucking Fire?”
  0
[Reply]

Jack Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 5:56 pm
@Jack, tk-2 Can you tell me about when “http://saltydroid.info/frank-kerns-bad-mother/#comment-55949″>Fucking Vitale change the name to “Mr fucking Fire?”
  0
[Reply]
# 26 January 2012 at 3:15 pm

I wantz 2B rich said:
BTW, Irwin’s upcoming/next private $12K offering includes a visit to the RR dealer so po’ folk can talk to people who sell RRs to rich peoples, and you might even get to take a spin in a RR. A test drive for $12K. And you getz to chat with some-un who knows some-in about rich peoples, because he sells cars to them. That alone is worth the price. Can’t learn this in college.
Does this qualify as 6 degrees of separation? Sounds a little close. I don’t know iffin’ us po’ people ought to get that close to rich peoples. Being poor might be contagious. Hell. Who cares anything about how many degrees of separation? After all, you don’t have to marry your cousin just because you fuck her.
  +1
[Reply]

jacqui Reply:
January 28th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
@I wantz 2B rich,
For only $8K…I’ll watch movies about rich people with you. And then I’ll let you test drive my car. I’ll even wash it first. And I’ll throw in a vegan cheeseburger…also know as a hamburger bun.
  +1
[Reply]

I wantz 2B rich Reply:
January 28th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
@jacqui, I can haz cheezburger? Do u haz a multi-payment option?
  +2
[Reply]
# 27 January 2012 at 8:02 pm
» The Prosper Chronicles {451} said:
[...] reminds me of the time ABC’s Dan Harris bitch slapped Joe Vitale in my dreams [...]
  0
# 26 June 2012 at 3:41 am
Law of a attraction - scam? How law of attraction bullshit hurt me, how it can help you if you read this - Mental Therapy Through Autotherapy said:
[...] (he wrote ads) & marketing specialist – turned self-help author who among other things now sells 5000$  rolls-royce rides and sells the law of attraction as a very efficient method to get a new [...]
  0
# 23 February 2013 at 3:29 am

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