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Salty Droid

Pat O’Bryan :: Your Portable Empire Strikes Back

Work from Home –or Anywhere– with Pat O’Bryan’s “Your Portable Empire” Internet Marketing Solutions”

Says the tagline on Pat O’Bryan’s low traffic website. Pat does work from home :: and you can too!! :: as long as you make your home up Joe Vitale’s ass like Pat does. Pat pretends he’s some kind free spirt entrepreneur honcho wandering around life barefoot sucking a cigar and bringing in millions. But that’s crap. He’s just a bitch :: low man … in a ghetto ass game that he’s too stupid to precisely understand.

Pat wrote a book. Yippee! Who hasn’t? {me! :: fuck books} The book is just the same old garbage LIE about how easy it is to gain your freedom via quick Internet millions. Of course :: if quick Internet millions were a possibility :: Pat wouldn’t have to spend ALL his time giving Joe oily backrubs. But even without an understanding of the inner workings of the SickMachine :: you can tell this book is crap. Here’s what one of the sycophantic 5 Star Amazon reviewers had to say …

“You write an information product on a topic you’re interested in, with a view toward providing information people would be willing to buy in that niche. Convert it to a PDF file using a free service like pdfonline. Then set up an account with Clickbank or 1shoppingcart for payment processing. Set up a simple sales letter style web site … You buy a domain name for your product and point it to your web host. Upload your site to your domain with a free FTP utility like Filezilla. Create a download page for your product and a registration (or “squeeze”) page to capture email addresses for your newsletter/email list. Use a quality autoresponder service like Aweber or GetResponse or iContact. Pat basically gives you the entire business model on 1 page near the end of the book, with about 10 or 11 simple steps to take.”

Yep! :: he gives it to you all right! All in one page :: what a magnanimous altruist. Teeny Tiny Problem :: that won’t fucking work. I know :: you’re shocked :: but it won’t work. If that’s all you had to do to attain a life of pleasure and leisure :: then EVERYONE would have a life of pleasure and leisure.

Put up a web page :: and anyone in the world can see it instantly … true. It’s a beautiful fucking miracle :: and one of the best things ever. But possibility and probability aren’t close friends. Anyone CAN see your “Buy my PDF” site :: but almost no one actually will. Of the small number who do :: far fewer still will actually buy it. Non-scamming online success is about a having a great idea :: and great ideas are just as hard to come by online as off.

Your Portable Empire is the same crap story being peddled by nearly every other “Internet Marketing Trainer” out there :: and it’s garbage. Pat :: like every other hack bastard :: offers up his own “success” as a kind of non-scientific evidence of the possibilites. But Pat knows the half-ass methods which he describes won’t work. Even applied to the Unicorn Niches {Get Money Now :: Get Skinny Now :: Get Happy Now} :: it’s almost impossible to succeed. Why? Cause a couple hundred other d-bags are already cashing in on the dreamers. If you want to be a successful dream exploiter :: you’ll have to start at the bottom … and suck … blow … and ego massage your way to the middle :: just like real life. It has NOTHING to do with freedom or independence. In fact :: you make yourself slave to the lowest of the low. You’ll have to put all your eggs in one basket full of jackals :: and if you’re not the meanest mother fucking {literally!} jackal in the basket :: then you’ll walk away with nothing but bloody legs.

The list of “editorial reviewers” tells the story of IM much more accurately than the crap text of the book …

  • Mark Joyner
  • Joe Sugarman
  • Joe Vitale – “This amazing book can free all working people to make money doing what they truly love!”
  • David Garfinkel
  • Craig Perrine
  • Bill Hibbler

… circle jerks all! There is nothing “editorial” about those names :: they are all a part of the same game.

In the book Pat uses golf as an example of a niche were you might sell your wares. Not-Doctor Kilstein’s “thoughts” exactly! I’m sure Kilstein made nine figures selling that crap :: and you can too! Or maybe not.

A book :: even a book of lies :: can only do so much damage. Sell it back to a used book store … and you’ll probably have wasted less than 10 bucks. And maybe you learned your lesson :: in which case it was 10 bucks well spent. But books :: like sales letter webpages with opt-ins :: aren’t the point. A dumb book full of recycled platitudes is just another way to sell super high priced :: life ruining :: con jobs to the most desperate of the most desperate.

Bogus seminars :: bogus coaching :: and $7,500 rides in leased automobiles … that’s what Pat O’Bryan is all about. That’s the avenue by which he’s temporaily scraped together some cash flow.

It’s not Yours.

It’s not Portable.

And it sure as shit ain’t no fucking Empire.

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