Critic Watching With Fat O’Bryan


Helping the critics improve their game, write better, and make logical arguments. Introducing CriticWatch.”

Says Pat O’Bryan … via Twitter … to almost no one.

It’s December 2009 and some cool kids {like Connie :: Burned by Fire :: Duff :: Eric :: not-crazy Li_Kuan} are talking shit about Joe Vitale and James Ray via the Twitters. Oh no you didn’t :: Fat Pat to the rescue!! He won’t have the teats from which he suckles tarnished by truth!

“Look forward to line-by-line critiques of the world’s snarkiest blogs, embarrassing personal facts about the writers, and huge fun for us.”

Pat has had enough of people expending their time and energy trying to enlighten and inform their fellow citizens for nothing but endless fucking grief in return.  There are just too many of these rabid sacrificers out there.  Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people weren’t free to express their opinions about the value of products in commerce :: and/or the trustworthiness of the sellers of those products?  We can’t have people just “saying things” and “complaining about injustices”.  What’s next? Actual enforcement of laws long on the books? A ban on unlicensed therapy and psychological practice? Liberty and Justice for ALL? Stop the insanity before it’s too late!

Pat and Joe were getting all hot and bothered because some of James Ray’s turds were smearing their door posts. It was the very beginning of a tragically hilarious {and ongoing} public relations nightmare for Team Scam. During the same period :: Bill Harris was having his lame asshole lawyers threaten Duff with a defamation suit.

Fat Pat O’Bryan was particularly unhappy about the work of Connie and Burned by Fire.  He put up this petulant anti-Connie blog …

“ya know- snarking is fun! Looking forward to a long and profitable career at the Critic Watch blog.”

His “career” lasted one post :: just long enough for him to say …

“I’m a creative entrepreneur who has critics who are also public writers. Most of these critics are totally ignorant of my field, and don’t have the wit to analyze what’s well-done and what’s not …

I know that criticicism comes with success, but… wouldn’t it be fun to critique the critics?

So, welcome to my new hobby. Envision me with my feet up on my desk, a glass of Malbec and a good cigar, Pat Metheny on the studio monitors, and blog critiques flying from my fingers into the internet.”

Holy vomit in my throat Batman :: that is some undeserved conceit.

@CriticWatch to BBF :: continuing to shove foot in mouth …

“fine. what do you do? are you ashamed of it?

you must be ashamed. is it macdonalds? don’t be afraid. we won’t laugh, i promise.

and- just because you don’t have the background or education to understand something doesn’t mean that it’s deceptive.”

Because you couldn’t possibly think that multi-thousand dollar “miracle” coaching :: stolen wish dollies :: or audios for clearing the Gulf of Mexico with your mind were a scam unless you were an uneducated fast food worker. Educated people all know that miracles are real :: and that Joe Vitale is a doctor.

“LOL. I’m rich. I can afford it. And private detectives. And lawyers. Let’s play.”

Oh please! Legal threats in an effort to repress speech :: my least favorite fucking thing. It was the third time he’d done it over a two week period. I’d heard about all of them {natch!}. Now I’ve seen enough … here I come as @RayShouldPay :: an anti James Ray Twitter account that I created to accompany my first Death Ray post. The @RayShouldPay account links to this site :: it has my characteristic punctuation :: photoshopping awesomeness :: and unnecessary profanity … but it doesn’t specifically say Salty Droid … or else the account would be banned {sad but true}.

Fat O’Bryan :: asshole bully/pussy :: doesn’t know who he’s talking to.  Enjoy …

SD :: Are you rich? Does that count your debts … because debts count you know … JACKASS!

Fat O. :: no debt. Are you still wasting time on things you can’t change?

SD :: We’ll see about what I can change :: and what I can’t. You might want to put your fat head between your knees.

{quoting Harlan Kilstein’s @CriticWatch equivalent} “She has a reputation. I have money. I’m going to cause her to wish she never heard of you. Prepare for the show.”

You remind me of that d-bag :: :: I’ll bet I’ll be waiting in perpetuity for your “show” as well. n00b!

Fat O. :: you’re noisy, but ineffective. go do something useful.

SD :: You already used that one. It bored me the first time.

Fat O. :: LOL. seriously, after your rousing condemnation what have you actually accomplished?

SD :: I don’t have conversations with useless garbage like you :: I’ll show you though if you keep begging for it.

Fat O. :: sure. what ya got?

apparently all you’ve got is a silly pic, a link to somebody else’s blog, and a big mouth. oh. and less than 50 followers.

am I missing something?

SD :: Yeah. You’re missing something. I’m The Droid you thick headed fuck. This is a single purpose parody account.

Oh noes!!! {begin begging like a bitch}

Fat O. :: lovely. I should know? Zip on over to and see what i’m pissed about.

Don’t see that I’ve got a beef with you, or you with me. I’m educating a few ignorant dweebs for my own amusement.

SD :: I believe I’ve just put you on notice that your threatening of critics doesn’t fucking amuse me :: Do with that what you will.

Fat O. :: hmmm… i sit back and take it? no response? No deal.

SD :: I didn’t offer you a deal.

Keep threatening them with your lawyers :: and you and Joe are going to trade them for me.

Fat O. :: Sounds like a threat to me. Lawyers shouldn’t make threats online. Identities are so easy to trace on the ‘net.

SD :: And I PROMISE YOU :: I will make you follow through on your limp dick threats :: It will be your last mistake in this business.

Fat O. :: posting the definition of libel was just a warning. the libel stopped.

SD :: Done talking to you chuckles. Go and sin no more.

Fat O. :: ;-)

{scurries away :: tail between legs :: still fat}

Thus endeth @CriticWatch :: a few hours later the account was deleted. The threats stopped :: but the sinning did not.

In summation …

Bullying nice ladies with respectful attitudes = good times.

Bullying bad ass robots with no patience for fucktards = OMG RUN … God help me! … RUN!!!!

“Mankind is like dogs, not gods — as long as you don’t get mad they’ll bite you — but stay mad and you’ll never be bitten. Dogs don’t respect humility and sorrow.”

~ Jack Kerouac

>> beat bloop

83 thoughts on “Critic Watching With Fat O’Bryan”

      1. I tried to watch the video but got highway hypnosis and fell asleep, and the next thing I knew I had fallen out of my chair and landed on one of the dogs. A rude awakening for both of us.

        Here’s a better video:

        And here’s a book that looks at the Beats from the not-so-romantic perspective of Neal Cassady’s wife:

        I didn’t see that one in Pat’s book collection.

  1. Over the course of the last couple of years, I’ve come to realize 3 things:

    1. Anyone that has to proclaim their wealth, isn’t wealthy.
    2. Anyone that says they’re really smart, isn’t smart at all.
    3. Being snarky, is a lot harder than it looks.

    Fat Pat is the latest person to show me that I’m correct in these 3 things.

    1. @Rafael Marquez ::


      I’ll add …

      4. Attempts to chill or restrain free speech are almost always indicative of underlying criminal activity.

      1. @SD, Thank you for your continuing fight against attempts to chill free speech. Your help with Mr. Harris was very much appreciated!

  2. @Rafael – Hear-hear.

    @SD – I wondered what had happened to that tub of lard. I followed the anti-CC bullshit, I think I even sent the knucklehead a couple of shots as well (I can’t remember) but I am amazed at your droid protocol recall abilities. Hell, that was over 6 months ago! Bet Fatty thought he got a free pass…

    1. @Dave, Yes, you were one of those who spoke up on Pat’s blog, and I appreciated it. Your comments and all of the other critical ones were subsequently removed. The supportive ones stayed. As I recall, there were over 100 comments on Pat’s blog post before he removed most of them — surely a record for his blog.

      Those who have a great deal of time to waste can see my account of some of the silly wars between critics and their “watchers.”

      Frankly, though, the Droid is more fun to read. :-)

      I will say this about Pat, and this was mentioned on Droid’s previous post: He’s not afraid to jump into the fray under his own name, and that’s more than we can say about most of the other snargets.

    2. @Dave ::

      I have to give credit for total recall to BBF :: who screen capped Fat O’s BS before he tried to hide the evidence.

      @Connie ::

      I see no reason give Pat any points for commenting under his own name. It’s not like he made an honest attempt at conversation. He just showed up with his usual distract :: demean others :: stroke his own ego bullshit. Other “gurus” don’t comment here with their real names for good reason … cause it’s a HORRIBLE PR move to come here without a defense to the core of the accusations … and a defense to the core accusations doesn’t exist. They are assholes … and they totally know they are assholes.

      That he would show up here and try to use his crap propaganda methods is just further proof that he doesn’t know what he’s doing … and that he can’t keep his emotions in check. It’s pathetic really … fucking pathetic.

      And recall that before he used his real name he left many weak ass threatening comments as various anon identities. Not to mention … the first time he commented here with his real name he said god awful things to you … right in front of my face … … another classic pussy/coward move.

        1. @Cosmic Connie, Well, you have a soft spot and a kind heart, which is not a bad thing. You’ll need to look away when some of us pick up the slack. ;)

  3. Why does Fat O’Bryan wear the same dusty old jeans in every picture and video?? Does he not have more than just one pair? Is that a Tshirt he’s wearing under that blazer? Sandals, dusty jeans, tshirt, and a blazer…hmmm at least he’s taken a bath finally, although, his skin is quite saggy from all the stretching of fat tissue. Still fat, still saggy, still a slob, still a scammer.

  4. Well, I know you’re not calling me a lady with a respectful attitude, because I’ve never really had much respect where Pat or Joe are concerned.

    Attitude, though, I’m full of. I consider myself much more an asshole than anything else.

    I can understand Pat taking umbrage at my writing, or even Connie’s snarktastic posts. But Pat, as his @criticwatch self, was also bullying a rather nice woman named Janelle, aka @CCGal on Twitter. That exchange was a steaming cup of insanity.

    I wrote up my own little summation of what happened back then:

    Ah, good times. Wish I had more time to play online like I used to.

    1. @Burned By Fire, Those were good times, and you summed up the insanity quite nicely. I too wish you had more time to play. (But ya done good by digging up that new testimonial from the disgruntled Miracles Coaching student and linking to it on the Phantom Menace thread.) I’m still chuckling over Pat’s implication, during the Whirled wars last December, that I incited you to write your blog.

      1. @Cosmic Connie, Really, all of this is your fault. The fact that anyone would turn a critical eye Joe’s way is your fault. In Joe’s ideal world, no one would have eyes at all, lest he pencil them in himself once he’s become that household name he’s always wanted to be.

        I wonder what his astrologer tells him in 2010. Probably different than what she said here:

    2. @Burned By Fire ::

      My apologies if I unfairly implied that you have a respectful attitude. Please don’t sue me.

      I agree that the business with Janelle was just steaming insanity. She’s really not even a critic … more like just a nice lady who was showing some interest in the topic of people getting murdered. She’s trying to back down … and he’s trying to slap her around anyway. Awful!!

      1. @SD, Sadly, CCGAL was once kind of a Pat O. fan. She attended at least one of his UnSeminars that I know of, and she apparently made a genuine attempt to join the Portable Empire crowd, but she became, for various reasons, disillusioned. Even so, her criticism is among the most respectful that I’ve ever seen. She certainly didn’t deserve the awful treatment she received.

        1. I did attend Unseminar4 … and I did spend a great deal of time and energy exploring the world of internet marketing … and I am very disappointed by the behaviors I’ve observed along the way. The tipping point for me was in October of 2008. I wrote about it here:

          I blogged about the episode with CriticWatch here: – I thought it was humorous that the tweets were archived before they were erased, and I got a kick out of writing the jingle.

          Thank you, @SD & @CosmicConnie for your kind words on my behalf.

          1. @CCGAL (Janelle), Wow. You were incredibly nice and tactful in that exchange. There is no excuse for how he treated you.

            What a mean spirited, pompous jackass Pat O’Bryan truly is. How does he even find time to Twitter while lodged so far up Joe Vitale’s rectum?

  5. How confusing this must be to the followers of “Ho’pononosonnybonovoxyokoono” and all of the LoA teaching that their ‘thought leaders’ would be spending their free time drumming up negativity toward people. I mean, really? Toughen up. Who hasn’t had someone say something negative to them on the internet? I know I have, but I’m not going to spend a bunch of time starting a “I’ll get back at them” blog about it.

    I guess when you put a price-tag on Karma and sell it as a product, it still makes sure you get your money’s worth and then some. No ‘secret’ there.

    1. @Feather Boa-Constricter ::

      Personally :: I know lots of people with “healthy six figure incomes” who have the time and/or desire to participate in such juvenile and futile shenanigans …

      … or wait … no I don’t.

  6. Another @CriticWatch gem …

    “FYI, most Internet Marketers use Google to see what’s being said about them. Standard practice. As “CriticWatch” I can respond. I’m watching”

    Wow! Sounds like you know EVERYTHING about the Internet old man.

    So … how are the Googles looking for you now Fat Pat? It’s been less than a week … liking the looks of your keywords are you? You’re welcome.

    You should call Grandpa Harlan if you want the names of some good astroturfing outfits that will charge you but fail to bump me. Or maybe you guys can just chit-chat and cuddle … you have so much in common.

    1. It’s true Pat … Bryan was being noisiest of all during those precious days when you were trying to clear the air of dissent. Maybe you’d like to take this opportunity :: somewhat belatedly :: to explain to him how his criticisms are based upon his illiteracy and lack of economic success? I mean your probably right … he just wishes that he was “successful” like you.

      What do you say Pat O? As one last shout-out to @criticwatch :: and as a toast to the end of your “career”? Let him have it!

  7. WOW, it must be love because Pat O’Bryan is willing to ride that horse to hell right behind Joe Vitale. They say behind every good man is a woman, kudos to you Miss Pat O’Breakdown-Vitale. Do tell how you manage to keep your face shoved up Vitale’s fecal impaction hole while still reaching around to light his imported cigars?

  8. So the criticized are now criticizing the people who criticized them.
    Kind of reminds me of this:

    You’re a scammer.
    I know you are but what am I?
    A scammer.
    I know you are but what am I.
    A scammer.
    If you keep calling me that, I’m telling my Mom (lawyer)

      1. @Cosmic Connie, can’t find the original post you did about Napoleon Hill, but you did get me curious.

        Could you post proof of the statements you said about Napoleon Hill dying broke?

        If it is true, then why are so many businesses like Organo Gold and using The Napoleon Hill Foundation ( boost their business?

        Connie, honestly, I’d like to believe you, but I find your statements unbelievable. Looking forward to your expounding upon this. :)

        1. @4 cosmic connie, are you stupid? These are the best in the business. Bentley club’s $1,995 sicience of success coaching is worth every cent. Harold Keon and James Spooner have the secret code left behind by Napoleon Hill to use law of attraction and live a happy life. After taking the seminar you’ll learned how to harness the law of attraction to build a business online, quit day job, and now I know I will be wealthy very soon. Go back to your McDonald’s job you are just a negative skeptic who questions everything. You’ll never get rich by questioning stuff.

          1. @Ray S., I can’t tell if your comment was directed to me, @CosmicConnie, or to the person who was asking me a question, @4 cosmic connie. In any case I see that your comment was voted down by the gang here.

            But I am thinking that maybe the voters misread you. It looks to me as if you’re merely satirizing some of the lame arguments and name-calling that some of our favorite snargets (e.g., Pat O’Bryan) have leveled against their critics.

            Or am I giving you too much credit?

            I think I am confused.

        2. @4 cosmic connie, My apologies for not replying sooner. I got sidetracked from this conversation because there are so many other interesting things going on here in the Salty mines.

          I never said that Napoleon Hill died broke. A person named Clark wrote that on July 16, in a comment to the Joe Vitale Phantom Menace post.

          I am sorry that I can’t find the permalink to that particular comment, but just scroll down to find Clark on July 16 and you will see it.

          I had never heard anything about Hill dying broke, but when I read Clark’s comment I was curious, so I turned to my good friend Professor Google. And I quickly found out that, according to a reviewer writing for Publishers Weekly, Napoleon Hill died prosperous but was broke numerous times during his life, even after he started preaching success. He also apparently abandoned his wife and kids so he could go off and seek his fortune(s). In this respect he reminded me of numerous contemporary hustledorks.

          I replied to the Clark’s comment on July 19; my reply and subsequent comments to that thread within a thread appear below Clark’s.

          Now, in the interests of full disclosure I will say that back in early 2007 the Skeptical Inquirer web site published an essay of mine, “The Wrath of the Secretrons,” in which I erroneously wrote that Wallace Wattles, another classical get-rich guru (and supposedly one of the main inspirations for The Secret), died in poverty. As I later found out, Wattles, author of The Science of Getting Rich, lived in extreme poverty for most of his 51 years but apparently started making money, and lots of it, in the last three years of his life — at least according to his daughter Florence A. Wattles.

          “For years his life was cursed by poverty and the fear of poverty,” wrote Florence to Elizabeth Towne, publisher of Nautilus Magazine. “He was always scheming and planning to get for his family those things which make the abundant life possible.”

          Alas, poor Wallace didn’t have many years to enjoy his new-found wealth, for he was in extremely frail health despite also being the author of The Science of Being Well.

          So there you have it, @4 cosmic connie. If you were anticipating a “gotcha” I am sorry to have disappointed you. If, on the other hand, you really were sincere in your statement that you would like to believe me, I hope you found this answer satisfactory.

          1. @Cosmic Connie, yes I was sincerely asking. Like you said, these authors are esteemed and looked up to. Thank you :)

  9. Wherea are you Pat? Where are you? Revealed as coward you are?

    Hey Mikey what happened to Biff and Brock?

  10. I love blowhards, Pat O’Bryan fitting the stereotype perfectly. They all seem to be fat redfaced white middle-aged men with personality disorders. They also blow, hard.

  11. Might want to go ahead and click the thumbs down now…

    I have to admit that I’m disappointed – but not surprised – that Pat hasn’t come back. I would really have liked to see how he attempted to justify and defend his & Joe’s behavior, not to mention how that justification would have been picked apart.

    While I have no use (and less respect) for either of them, I can’t honestly say that I blame Pat for not participating further in this discussion, since it has deteriorated from anything resembling an analysis of business behavior and ideology to little more than a playground taunting circle. We’re no longer addressing the things that make O’Bryan worthy of our scorn; all that’s happening now is a collective neener-neener. As a result, there’s really no good reason for the target of the taunts to show up.

    Worse, anyone who happens upon this discussion while trying to learn more about these guys will be presented not with useful information, but with mean-spirited ad hominem. They’d likely leave this discussion feeling sympathetic toward Pat and Joe, rather than leery of what they do. And I, for one, choose not to do scammers that kind of favor.

    1. @RevRon, with all due respect to you sir, other people’s taunts does not detract from the issues at hand. Anyone with a sense of clarity and honesty will see this blog for what it is. Taunts and ridicule are part of it and in no way detract from the main issues of this blog. It’s the Internet, you’re going to have that no matter what blog or forum you are on.

      Although, the name calling, bashing and ridicule is not the best way to win impressive points, people do need to see the pain and hurt that is caused by these dbag’s actions. Permanent damage has been done both psychologically and physically.

      If Pat O’Bryan and Joe Vitale really wanted to sincerely answer the serious questions asked on this blog, they would have already done so.

      People have a right to be hurt and angry, and they are expressing themselves accordingly. I agree that taunts and ridicule probably don’t make the best impression, but neither does ripping off people who are already in financial ho twater, ripping off a young girl’s art, outright lying about your income, prostituting spirituality, and becoming best buds with someone who’s KILLED 3 innocent people.

      In the old days it would have been an “eye for an eye”, and still is in some countries……

      1. @2H2+Co3=-(x*y), I’m by no means defending or excusing the things that the scammers have done. Nor am I dismissing the pain that these people’s actions have caused. That said, implying that the kind of taunting that we’ve seen here doesn’t dilute the message that critics are trying to get across is, at best, naive.

        People who are unfamiliar with the likes of Joe, Pat, and JAR, and end up here while searching for actual answers will quickly tire of criticisms that have nothing to do with the scammers’ behavior, and will quite likely write off such taunts, figuring that they are as much a product of the commenter’s own issues as of the scammers’ inappropriate behavior. The end result is that what could feasibly be a powerful tool in the effort to educate people and minimize the damage could be significantly blunted.

        I learned long ago that preaching to the choir represents little more than a verbal circle jerk. Might feel somewhat satisfying in the short term, but does little – if anything – to actually improve a situation.

        My lack of respect for Joe and Pat has nothing to do with their weight, personal hygiene, hairstyle, history of incontinence, or sexual preferences, none of which affect me, and none of which are any of my concern. I merely think that if we were to collectively focus upon the actual damage these people do, rather than inundate them with the kind of taunts for which we would (appropriately) chastise our children, the credibility and effectiveness of the critique would increase dramatically. IMO, hurling empty insults should be limited to playgrounds and re-election campaigns, rather than overshadowing viable efforts to expose the genuinely inappropriate behavior of some Internet marketing hucksters.

        1. @RevRon, you make a reasonable point, as far as pure education goes. But, SD did mention previously that his primary objective was to make these guys squirm, and the well-deserved insults certainly contribute to that. After all, these guys have HUGE egos, which are only surpassed by their waistlines. This blog is certainly getting a lot of attention in the blogosphere, and it can’t be good for anyone to appear here.

          1. @Stuart, I don’t buy that Salty’s primary objective is merely to make the scammers squirm. I kinda think that what he’d really like to do is eliminate their power to mislead and sucker gullible people. The “squirming,” as I see it, is merely their reaction at being exposed as charlatans, and the pleasure derived from causing that squirming is, IMO, much more noble than the desire to inflict discomfort on another.

            Face it… If you’re looking into someone’s business practices to determine whether or not to buy their products, clear examples of their shenanigans will be much more likely to convince you to avoid them than would reading a litany of folks calling them d’bags, f’tards, or the like. While Salty does call the scammers every name in the book, he also offers evidence to support his name-calling, and I can respect that. Lacking the same reasoned evidence, all that would be left is a playground taunting session. And that can serve as much to elicit sympathy for the f*tards as to convince people to avoid them. And the last thing I would want to do is give them a pity ticket. Joe, for one, plays enough of those without anyone’s help.

            1. BTW – An ego is like any physical organ, in that if it is swollen, it is either diseased or traumatized. The bigger someone’s ego appears on the outside, the more insecure they are on the outside. The incessant need to parade one’s supposed wealth and fame, as well as the desperate quest for adulation are clear signs of someone who truly believes all the names their worst detractors throw at them.

            2. @RevRon, Good points and analogy. And I think we can all imagine the perfect organ to correlate with both Joe and Pat. ;)

            3. @RevRon,
              Yes, and Salty also has the good grace to morph into a robot before doing it, which depersonalises it to quite an extraordinary degree. That’s what makes the Droid such a feared opponent, coz you can’t credibly complain to your potential customers that you got unfairly attacked by a robot.

            4. Exactly right, Yakaru. It’s a known fact that robots have a greater degree of latitude these days, whether it be blasting their opponents to smithereens or just taunting them about being lardasses or bedwetters.

    2. @RevRon,

      You have your own blog where you can run things your own way. How about letting Mr Salty run his blog in his own inimitable and effective style without muscling in at this late date to point out where he is doing it wrong?
      This isn’t a church he is running here, sanctimony has no place.

      1. @stoic, I have absolutely no problem with the way Salty runs his blog, as I thought I had stated pretty clearly. He blasts the d*bags, but backs up his name-calling with evidence that demonstrates the appropriateness of the pejoratives he uses. And IMO, that’s a lot more effective at swaying prospective victims’ opinions than is the launching of playground ad hominem taunts. If you disagree, so be it. You are free to express yourself as you see fit, as am I. That’s the beauty of an open discussion… the sanctimonious attitudes will out.

    1. Don’t give Pat so much credit. He has a speaker wire running all the way from his anus to a microphone on Joe Vitale’s desk.

  12. oh, noes! trouble in wimperley! nerissa oden is vitale’s partner, the poor thing. lately she’s been having a public meltdown on facebook. check it out before she makes her wall private–just search for her name on facebook. seems she can’t STAND one of vitale’s “best friends”. let’s follow the trail, copied and pasted straight from facebook:

    Nerissa Oden to do. My biggest issue? Being ignored when I introduced YouTube, MindMovies and when I created VideoCodeMaker.My lesson? Keep knocking …
    August 6 at 9:41pm via Twitter

    silly nerissa–don’t you know girls arent allowed? if anyones interested, you can see her product here: now back to the drama:

    Nerissa Oden I’m curious, how do you (or would you) handle spouse’s best friend(s) who you dislike very much? Would you overlook all their crap? Or let them know they are not welcome by you when you are in same room?
    August 8 at 1:11pm

    Nerissa Oden Thanks for your comments! Update: I shouldn’t have been surprised to find that this person doesn’t have any loyal friends. And my advice to my spouse and others: When someone SHOWS you who they are, believe them!
    Yesterday at 12:14

    say, nerissa, can you say “jonathan”? i knew that you could. vitale has a history of ignoring warning signs, especially if money is involved. might want to watch out for yourself, since he definately wont.

    And then this:

    Nerissa Oden If an entrepreneur responded when asked that he didn’t know what his new product did after he had just told everyone that he was releasing it to his list in a couple days, had spent several months and thousands of dollars on it, AND just shot its promotional video that day…..would you believe him? Why or why not?
    August 8 at 8:16pm

    Nerissa Oden My take was that he didn’t want to talk me. Playing stupid is a common way of blowing people off. My challenge is apparently a common one. Being forced to interact with that person. The future will be interesting opportunity for growth.
    Monday at 12:50pm

    Nerissa Oden This person’s new product puts links IN video. My product puts links AROUND video. OH and by the way, this person/friend never heard of my product he says. (Isn’t he precious?)
    Yesterday at 12:08

    hey, guess what? fat obryan has just released a new product–and guess what? it’s about putting links in video. here’s his announcement on facebook:

    Pat O’Bryan Video Link Generator- go try it now for free. We’re ready for beta-testers! (this is sooo cool!)
    Tuesday at 9:00pm

    here it is–though it looks more lame than cool, but what else can you expect from him:

    golly jeepers, batman! but i’m sure all this is nothing. just another day basking in spiritual bliss and harmony!

    1. Sure sounds like Joe Vitale’s wife Nerissa can’t stand Pat O’Bryan. Smart woman!

      By the way, this software will do what Pat’s crap will do, and more, for a one time only payment, whereas Pat milks you for more money every month:

    2. @trouble in paradice, @Lou: I find it interesting that Joe V sells a course (via CDs or downloads) purporting to teach folks how to be fully “Awakened.” One of the “bonus” products in that course is “The Awakened Relationship,” the promotional copy for which strongly implies that Joe and Nerissa enjoy a totally awakened and harmonious union in which they don’t keep secrets from each other, etc. etc.

      Well, it seems that Nerissa is pretty wide awake, anyway. My guess is that unless some magickal miraculous Ho’opononopononponopono or other mystical healing happens, there won’t be room for both a discontented sweetheart and an apparently much-disliked “best friend” in the Vitale Circle of Trust for very much longer. But then, what do I know? I’m the blogger who always gets her facts wrong (at least according to that much-disliked best friend).

    3. @trouble in paradice ::

      Oh shit that is sweet!

      Joe chooses Pat … and who wouldn’t? He’s such a beautiful soul {aka mother fucking gollum}.

      Hey Nerissa call me. I promise that for every fun thing you tell me … I’ll tell you one fun thing.

      … I’m such a good listener. You have no idea.

    4. Smells like divorce. It’s really hard to stay married to an asshole who has another asshole up his asshole.

    5. @trouble in paradice, What Nerissa forgets is that the business model in Wimberley, Texas is to steal as much as possible from other people. She should ask Bill Hibbler how he liked it when Pat O’Breakdown ripped him off. He probably felt like Maria when they ripped her off the Hoshun. Or maybe he felt like how Mark Ryan felt when he allegedly got ripped off a few times.

      If Nerissa is going to swim in the waters with thieves, its only a matter of time before they take from her, too.

      BTW, from my knowledge, Nerissa and Joe are not legally married.

      1. Interestingly, when you view Nerissa’s comments on her Facebook wall, you can see glimpses of “it’s really your own fault” secret-type thinking on it. She says, “…They are suspicious, condesending and hurtful. I am still working through the triggers this one interaction has unnerved.”

        Oh, so it’s all your triggers that are the problem, Nerissa? Don’t buy the crap where you are supposed to beat yourself up for triggers that make you upset. Someone ripped you off. Someone who has ripped off other people, too. And your sociopathic boyfriend and company feed you bullshit telling you that it’s all your fault for manifesting it. The legal system exists to protect people who get ripped off by scumbags like your boyfriend’s other spouse.

        Even though your boyfriend is trying, we don’t have system for punishing victims by telling them its all their fault… oh by the way buy these products and it won’t happen anymore.

        1. @Burned By Fire, either Nerissa is completely brain washed in her boyfriend’s business/self help cult or she’s just as guilty as they are. She had only glowing fondness radiating from her when Joe stole the Hoshun concept from that little kid.

          1. @hypnogage, Maria was actually a grown woman, not a little kid, but still she had the child-like exuberance about her idea that Joe took advantage of.

            And yes, I do think that Nerissa is as manipulated and brainwashed as any of the Joebots. She actually believes he is awesome and deserves the accolades he pretends to receive.

            1. “Childlike exuberance” seems to be a good description of Maria’s attitude. Someone claiming to be Maria commented on my Wish Dolly blog post…
              …and I have also received private correspondence from someone claiming to be her husband. While I have no way of authenticating these communications, I have since come to believe they were genuine.

              Here’s a link to a pic of a Russian magazine article about Maria:

              Her site is at (You can run it through Google Translate to get an idea of what it’s all about.)

              Unfortunately for Maria, her English was apparently not good enough for her to properly convey her business proposition to Joe when she visited him in Russia and gave him samples of her Hochun dolls. But *he* was apparently inspired enough to go back home and create the little Wish Dolly sticker and audio product with Pat.

              Also, @Burned By Fire, you made a good observation about Nerissa’s automatic employment of Secret-type thinking in this matter. While self-examination is always a good idea when we are in an adversarial situation (it’s rarely *all* the other person’s fault, after all :-)), there comes a point when we have to open our eyes and see that it’s not all *our* fault either. Maybe not even *mostly* our fault.

              Of course, “fault” is a word that the fashionably enlightened do not like to use. They would rather talk about “100% responsibility.” Assuming this is a valid concept, could it be that in some cases the “100% responsible” thing to do would be to remove oneself from the situation — that is, if the situation won’t remove itself (e.g., move to the deserts of West Texas for good)?

              Maybe it really is time for Nerissa to drop a line to the Droid or some of the other long-time “haters.” She might just find that there’s a lot less hate in Haterville than she has been led to think.

    6. Another update (today) from Nerissa:

      Nerissa Oden: “Joe supports me in my decision to express my feelings about this. Joe has decided to stay neutral. Joe’s friend created a product very similar to one of mine for which I am not upset bc they are different enough. Hell I asked about promotin…g it to my lists! That’s when the friend claims he didnt really know what his product did, he hadn’t ever heard of my product, and then added his new product was “completely different” than my product. (A shoe and my product are “completely different; his new product and mine achieve the same core concept, but in different ways.) It’s his pov of me that allows him to think that his answers are good enough. They are not. They are suspicious, condesending and hurtful. I am still working through the triggers this one interaction has unnerved.”

      1. @FlyOnWall, How can someone support you while at the same time staying neutral? Doesn’t make sense. I think Nerissa is confused and brainwashed. At the same time, Nerissa Oden has to know some of the inside people and how they conduct “business” with her boyfriend, Joe Vitale. I just think it’s impossible for her to be totally oblivious. Hope she wakes up before the proverbial “shit hits the fan” she’s dragged into a hot mess by her boyfriend.

  13. This blog is getting more delicious by the day. What if Nerissa were to become BFF with Saltydroid?? I mean no woman should have to take Fat Pat’s “boom I got your boyfriend I got yo man” jack “error 404” movez.

  14. Fat Pat stole Nerissa’s video idea. How did he get the information? Must have come from Joe himself. What a traitor. He’ll whore out his own wife (“life partner”) to stay in the game.

    Nerissa if you’re reading this RUN from Joe and Pat, it is only a matter of time until the right opportunity comes along to profit and Joe will sell you out. RUN before it’s too late.

  15. Nerissa Oden, Joe Vitale’s life partner seems to have her own sites about cats and food allergies. Here is one site
    She actually seems to have good information on there about getting a $10 test for allergies in food. Then this site about building enclosures for house cats It’s a neat idea, I guess, but it makes me think of cat jail. lol Some of the pictures include the inside of their home, which does not look like an “estate” to me at all. The furniture and yard is quite ordinary looking. Nerissa Oden does promote that Hoshun doll thing, though, which I know that she knows it’s bogus. Otherwise she’d be tweeting about how she’s using the doll to get rid of Pat O’Bryan. lol

    1. @Vitale Watcher, As a cat lover who believes cats should *not* be allowed to roam free (it’s too dangerous for them), I have to say that of all the ideas that have sprung from the Vitale Empire, the Catarium is one of very few cool ones. It’s not something that Joe is actually selling but he does kind of promote it. Apparently on of his friends custom-built it for Joe and Nerissa to allow their cats the joys of the outdoors without exposing them to predators, disease, traffic, and other hazards a free-roaming cat invariably faces (even in the country). Cat jail? Maybe, but it’s better than a dead or very sick cat. (Okay, no dead cat jokes.)

      The Vitale “Estate” is nice but is certainly not the “multi-million dollar estate” Joe used to brag about till he was called on it (thank you, BBF), and he changed his ad copy accordingly.

      Nerissa has apparently been supportive of most of Joe’s projects. She has interests of her own, of course, namely green living and various health issues. Regarding the latter, however, I think she often goes too far in damning Western medicine, painting doctors as evil, and supporting hucksters like Kevin True-dough (another Vitale b.f.f.)

    1. @Vitale Watcher, There are probably many “video queens.” Heck, there’s even more than one Cosmic Connie. One is a fortune teller, another is apparently some astronomy geek, and then there’s moi, and who knows who else. Apparently there is a drink called the Cosmic Connie too. (I didn’t know about any of this stuff when I adopted the moniker in the mid 1990s.)

      Despite what I think are legitimate criticisms about his behavior and business practices I would never sell Pat O. short when it comes to skills. I think he is a talented musician, writer and photographer, and I have no doubt that he knows a lot about audio and video production. On the other hand, I strongly suspect Nerissa has a valid gripe, and even though none of this is any of my business I am pretty much rooting for her. (Just as I was rooting for Carolyn Cassady when I read the book “Off The Road.”)

      1. @Cosmic Connie, yes very true. Curious as to how Nerissa feels when she’s living high on the hog from the profits of Joe’s scamming. I know this has to be a thorn in her side when she’s busy being angry at Pat.

        Hey Nerissa, didn’t anyone ever tell you “there’s no honor among thieves” ? What goes around comes around.

  16. I went and looked at Nerissa’s wall on facebook. She says Joe is remaining neutral.

    Neutral? Your wife gets ripped off by your friend and you’re neutral?

    That’s one thing that used to piss me off about Joe Vitale. He’s really a fucking pansy assed wimp. He won’t take a side on anything. Won’t stand up for anyone, not even his wife.

    If someone ripped off my wife, they better know I’d kick their ass. If it was one of my friends, he wouldn’t be a friend for very long.

    But maybe this is Joe’s gift for Nerissa. Her very own wake up call. Now she can see where her husband’s loyalties lie.

    1. Judging by the conversations on Nerissa’s Facebook page…

      …I’d say there are some even more interesting conversations going on now in Whimperley.

      The above is apparently Nerissa’s attempt at satirizing a letter from Pat. Yes, it is rather crude and ungrammatical, but the point is quite clear.

      The real problem isn’t the possible rip-off of an idea. Although that’s problematic enough, it is just a symptom of a larger problem.

      I imagine Terlingua is looking better all the time for one of the participants in this little drama.

    2. It would appear that Nerissa is still a bit p.o.’d at P.O., as she made a snide remark about him on Twitter recently. She was responding to a person named Marlon Sanders, who is apparently trying to advance his own standing in the IM world by kissing up to both Joe and Pat. (Marlon describes himself as “perhaps the last ambassador of old school Internet marketing. Create it. Promote it. Bank it. What more do you need?”)

      Here’s the link to a PDF of Marlon’s August 28 newsletter…

      …in which his main article is titled, “How An Ex Blues Musician Found Freedom,
      Finance and Fun In Internet Marketing.”

      Marlon repeats the oft-told tale of how Pat was once a broke blues musician, but…

      “…today, he’s found ultimate freedom via Internet marketing. Yesterday, we’re sitting in white, sculptured metal chairs next to the fountains at a local mall. He sports the hair of a hippie from days gone by, chomps on a gigantic black, textured cigar, and exudes the confidence of a man who exceeded his income expectations online long ago…

      “…Today Pat has even bigger dreams of having his own cable TV show, and many more things, all funded and empowered by his Internet marketing success off the back of his successful book. [He says,] ‘Marlon, I don’t know what I can do. I want to find out. Everything I’ve done in Internet marketing so far has succeeded.’

      “As we chit chat, he stops now and then to check his email on his Ipad. He has some kind of thing going with Willie Nelson and a few other big names. I didn’t pry for details. But it’s obvious life is good for Pat…”

      According to this article, Pat says only about 25% of his income is from his Unseminars and coaching business. He has numerous other income streams as well: “For example, I use my musical talents to produce background music for self improvement audios. That’s a very good business.” (Wish Dolly or oil-clearing audios, anyone?)

      Marlon goes on to list some of Pat’s success secrets. One of these is that he “has his finger in many pies” and works on a wide variety of products with different people. He tells Marlon, “I bring on talent very carefully because I’m not a manager. I like people who are self-motivated and manage themselves. I work with people smarter than I am.”

      I imagine this is what Nerissa was referring to when she wrote this tweet:
      ” @marlonsanders Correction: He only partners with men who are smarter than him ”

      Sounds like some residual resentment for sure, and one can hardly blame her.

      Rubbing salt into Nerissa’s wound, Marlon quotes Pat as saying, “One thing I’m proud of is my new video software. I spent $7,000 to have it programmed but it’s REALLY cool. Marlon, it lets you put active links right in your video…
      You can see a video of Video Link Generator right there on his home page.”

      Meanwhile, Joe V is busily promoting one of his and Pat’s longtime schemes, The Milagro Manifestation Method (“milagro” is Spanish for “miracle”). It’s an “amazing, life-changing package” for only $97. (Claimed total value $1,150.)

      Says the copy on the sales page:
      “And… you don’t risk a penny by taking advantage of this offer. Go ahead and check it out. You’ve got nothing to lose because you’re covered by our guarantee. Keep in mind, Pat and I are respected Internet marketers with reputations to maintain. We’re both too visible to do shady stuff. So, get your hands on this now.”

      Joe sent out a big email blast to promote this product and will probably be doing a blog post about it any day now. It seems obvious he’s still actively working with and promoting Pat. I guess this is his way of remaining “neutral.”

      1. @Cosmic Connie, Well, second-fiddle Nerissa should have known when she married Joe that Joe was already married to Pat. She might as well get used to it. Or, she can be a big girl and start over again with Hoshun.

          1. @Cosmic Connie, There you go with those assumptions. ;) Of course, that was pre-“egofame” Joe, when he had less of a pot to piss in…and Nerissa was willing to hold it while he did.

      2. Joe Vitale you are a coward of an imitation of a man. What husband is going to let another man shit on his wife’s hard work and steal it away from her? Nerissa supported you when you were broke and fat, now you’re prostituting her out in the IM world.

        There is no hell like that of a woman scorned. Watch out Joe & Pat, you’ve got it coming. Nerissa it’s only going to get worse. The fact that Joe is using other IM guys to heckle you into silence while he smiles in your face at night is proof that you’re being used and whatever benefits you think are going to come your way, don’t bet on it. Joe likes to pull the rug out from under people without a moment’s notice.

        1. Maybe it’s just a matter of separating business life from personal life (“Sweetie, I love you, but this is BUSINESS.”). Traditional Mafia wives have had to learn this lesson — well, at least according to all those movies and TV shows about the Mob that I’ve seen over the years. Maybe the Wimber-lie Mafia “wives” have to learn to compartmentalize their lives in much the same way. It seems apparent that in the Tweet I quoted above, Nerissa was making as much of a point about the inherent sexism of the inner circle as she was about personal betrayal. In this respect, I imagine the Wimber-lie Mafia is at times not much different from the IM Syndicate that Salty writes about.

          And I know that lofty New-Wage philosophy is supposed to be all about blissful integration of all aspects of one’s life, but we’ve seen how that often plays out in real life when money ops present themselves.

    1. @Cosmic Connie, Good grief.

      He’s calling his book “Money From Anywhere,” but I’d guess most readers will find it to be, “No Money, Nowhere.”

      “For years I was broke. I know how poverty feels. I’ve searched in the cushions of my sofa for quarters to buy food. And, it wasn’t that long ago.”

      Of course, that was just before he relocated far up Joe’s asshole. Kind of like, “two assholes in one.”

      With gratitude,

      Uncle Roy

  17. if you do a google search for “Joe Vitale” a google add pops up for one of his bullshit “clearing” or “awakening” frauducts. everyone should go click on the add so poor joe can attract the trafic and atention he wants so bad! wait, you say it costs him money everytime someone clicks on his add? better not click on it then. wouldn’t want to needlessly cost him money. of course you won’t click on it because he only attracts positive loving awakened people not haters!

Comments are closed.