Meditations on a Fat Man

Meditations on a Fingered Twinkie

Harlan Kilstein isn’t a doctor :: and he isn’t an Internet marketing guru either … thanks to lil’ old me.

Good job me!

But he’s still a pathetic bottom feeding scammer … and every month or so someone tells me a story about Harlan trying to ruin their life with his ridiculousness.

Maybe a fake robot can keep a motherfucking d-bag from getting huge … but he can’t keep them from existing. There are police in Boca right?

Anywayz :: HK has a new bullshit site about the meditations. The site has 21,000 Facebook fans :: prolly in the same way that Newt Gingrich has a million Twitter followers. In the above pic Harlan demonstrates a Finger Healing meditation position for his Facebook fake-fans :: which he calls … “The Seven Purples of Constipation” … or something.

Thinking that maybe Not-Doctor Kilstein is having a hard time truly relaxing :: I’ve decided to record him his very own personalized binaural meditation track. All the top constipation gurus know the secret unicorn magic of binaural messages set to music :: Joe Vitale :: Pat O’Bryan :: Bill Harris :: James Arthur Ray … and the aforementioned Harlan Kilstein.

Fortunately for the Not-Doctor :: Jason :: like all haters … plays poor piano. Not-Doctor K regularly talks at the @countingcrows on the twitter {cause we’re all cool in our own way} so the fat mans personal meditations have been set to a poor facsimile of Raining in Baltimore.

… binaural meditations on a fat man …

Hopefully this will help HK achieve that long-awaited bowel movement.

>> bleep bloop

109 thoughts on “Meditations on a Fat Man”

    1. @Uncle Ralph ::

      I’m sure Ken Nordine would take that as an insult … but maybe he’d let it slide since I’m a fellow Chicagoan.

  1. What I find so incredible about these so called life experts is they can’t get their shit together…when does Harlan start on the body part?

    getting lecture by a fat lard ass on being centered and getting balance in ones life is hysterical coming from Fat Boy.

    Memo to Harlan: You’re fat…and you con people with bullshit gobblygoop…focus on your fucked up existence because we’re coming for you

  2. Oh, my Goddess, that was even better than an oily massage. I feel so healed. Maybe the Hostess folks can use your magickal audio to clear away those little bankruptcy issues, so the world will always have Twinkies and Ding-Dongs.

    1. @Cosmic Connie ::

      It’s time to let the Twinkie and the Ho-Ho and the Ding-Dong die and go to the graveyard where all double entendre fake pastries go when they die.

            1. @Cosmic Connie, ha ha, do you people ever go back and read what you wrote.
              You’r so full of shit about twinkies. Haven’t you anything better to talk ab9out in your pathetic lives? Is this how you spend your days?
              warning, people are going to need more than a ‘grain’ of salt to listen to you.
              get a life.

            2. @mark magic: CC here via mobile. Let me guess. You are a GIN man, am I right? Or… Surely not a fan of Lenny Fraudwell? Either way, enjoy your delusion while it lasts.

            3. @Mark Magic,

              Gee, maybe you’re right. Maybe everybody except you has been wasting their time when commenting here.

  3. Absolutely one of the best post. The meditation recording is a work of art, Saltz – a beach full of fried twinkies what more could a lard a$$ hope for?? Does anyone even take this man serious anymore, he lost all credibility when the Christian Blowjobs book was exposed, that and the fact he listed Maria Andros as a top marketer and reference on his site.

  4. straight from the sales page “2 months ago I couldn’t get a date..now I found the man of my dreams….” WTF…where do these fuqs come from? I couldn’t decide on that or the deep fried twinkie technique so, I signed up for the continuity program…all for just $97 (of course it was $97)

  5. You might be able to submit that to the thefump (The FUnny Music Project). Then in the description part, you could link back here.

    I like your approach of lambasting and making fun of these a-holes where-ever possible.

    People have got to know that fake stuff can hurt you.


    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    1. @Wyrd ::

      I already gots a couple thousand linkbacks without ever “submitting” anything anywhere.

      Seems to me … one universal publication {my own} should be sufficient … but I guess the existence of all these aggregation sites means others think differently.

      1. @SD, I was listening to the extended music sample on the Strutttttt!!!!!!!!! web site — the sample includes a lot of explanatory yapping as well as “music” — and Ron actually made me quit because he said it was hurting the dogs. (“Testosterone” is a gem.) But Pat O. said one of his kids was listening to the CD and thought it sounded like some big-name music person (he didn’t say who), so maybe the problem is that I just don’t know sh-t about music.

      2. @SD,

        “That’s a five minute song man, and that vocal is almost flawless…” That guy is a sound engineer?

        @Connie,
        Thanks for not linking to the site. And my kindest regards to your dogs.

        1. @Yakaru, My dogs have recovered, thank goodness. And I would imagine that sound engineers are not immune to paying compliments to lousy singers if they’re getting paid enough. Look at the forced smiles on the sound engineer and the other guys in that vid, and you can almost feel sorry for Joe. Almost.

        2. @Yakaru,

          Yeah, that’s definitely code for “I can’t stand the thought of listening to you yowl like that again, so get your ass out of here so I can fix it with Autotune.”

    1. @Jack, Note, It wasn’t I meant that guy in video is like mr. Kilstein. Just showing the trick so mr. Kilstein understands no need to heal is finger.

      Guy in video has more talent in 1/2 his finger than mr. Kilstein will have ever.

      1. @Jack ::

        Yes :: and I wouldn’t expect to be getting any emails inquiring about whether Steven is intentionally evil … or completely fucking insane {the answer in the case of the NotDoctor being the former of course}.

    2. @Jack,

      Yea I think he bought the Dog Shit “Lite” upsell on the sales page, which includes being able to regrow finders. Now the full version is able to grow body parts and such back…of course, that version is $2000 per month, as part of the Ultra Dog Shit Master Mind Group.

    1. @Professor Bacon,

      Sold! I love me some Harlan. Oh my god I love me some Harlan.

      For ages I’ve desperately wanted to learn how to sit back and let my Fiver outsourced website, chock full plagiarized PLR nuggets, do all the work.

      Only problem is, think of how many new ass boils I’ll grow as I sit, eyes glued to my laptop and watch my ClickBank account grow. (Not to worry. A simple finger healing technique or two and my ass will be good as new.)

      Dare to dream.

    1. In case anyone needs the money to purchase Kilstein’s “The Magical Money Magnet” system, maybe you can get it by using this other Kilstein system:

      http://48hourmoneysecret.com/offer.html

      I’ll keep looking for yet another Kilstein “system” so you can use it to pay for THIS system. Hopefully, we won’t run out of new “systems” to pay for all the previous “systems.”

  6. Let’s take a look behind the bullshit curtain, shall we?

    It appears one “Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein” is the subject of a complaint, located here:

    http://www.ripoffreport.com/adult-career-continuing-education/dr-harlan-kiltein/dr-harlan-kiltein-otc-publish-d36db.htm

    The respondent to said complaint, one “Sandra,” claims to be the “customer service advocate” for “OTC Publishing,” which is owned by the aforementioned “Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein.”

    “Sandra’s” responses to said complaint appear to read EXACTLY like they were actually written by “Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein.”

    “Sandra” suggests anyone with a problem can contact “her” at 561-395-7400.

    According to this site, that area code and prefix is actually that of a cell phone:

    http://www.areacodebust.com/561-395

    So, if anyone calls “Sandra,” it may turn out that she “just stepped away from her desk” and “Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein” just “happened to pick up the phone.”

    1. @IM Detective, For the record, Sandra is real. I met her in Vegas. Obviously, the responses could have been written by Sandra or Harlan using Sandra’s name. Hard to say which.

      1. @Ryan Healy, Are you sure it wasn’t Harlan in drag? Did she have a beard?

        I’d still bet two pounds of goose liver that that reply was written by Harlan.

    1. @Flashbacker,

      The blatant attempts at “self aggrandisement by brand association” are laughably obvious – from the otherwise inexplicable focus on the “Lexus” satnav, through the Apple store and Tiffany & Co right up to the 18 Year Old Glenlivet (to be honest, not the world’s most inspiring single Malt).

      And two 17 inch MacBook Pros? Really? The only place he’d manage to accomodate 17 inches is in his fetid Mangina.

      Never less than odious.

      1. @It could happen to anyone,

        Ah, such memories this video brings back. The moment when he walks out of Tiffany & Co (empty-handed, shuffling, totally aimless..) is just inexplicably hilarious to me. My mind always wanders to the set-up for that shot. “You wait here. Start filming when I’m just out of sight.” He obviously then walks into the store, just around the corner, and then slowly back out again.

        Imagine spending an afternoon that way! Really think about it for a while and you almost feel sorry for the man. It’s just so, so pathetic.

        1. @208-577-6210,

          “You wait here. Start filming when I’m just out of sight.”

          That’s hysterically funny, especially because it’s almost certainly SPOT ON!

        2. @208-577-6210,

          Good gawd, he even looks self conscious in a nervous or guilty way when he walks out.

          It’s like he is looking around wondering if other people realize that the not-doctor is not-buying anything and pretending that he is not-not-buying anything just to try and not-look pathetic.

          If the not-doctor had enough not-fake brains, he might have thought about asking for a not-fake Tiffany’s bag to walk out of the store with so that he would look not-fake and not-empty handed.

          (Or not).

  7. It’s kinda funny that Harlan Kilstein’s aspirations of joining the “big league” syndicate slimeboys have all been dashed by Salty. Now, slippery Kilstein couldn’t even “launch” a coconut cream pie, LOL.

    Speaking of coconut cream pies, all you knuckleheads should soitenly mark this date on you’s calendars: April 13, 2012.

    1. @EverVigilant, if you can’t see the value in paying (at least) $1000 to do (at least) 120 days of (free) research and writing, then this obviously isn’t for you. The NOT Dr.’s other websites reek of obvious success, plus he’s willing to do shameless, awkward videos.

      @Dave, don’t worry, maybe he’ll let you in the back door. Once he removes the duplicate orders he’ll have a couple spots open up (you know, people often make multiple $1000 purchases mistakenly). But give it a few more days… there are A LOT of orders … he’s a Dr., not a mathematician.

    2. @EverVigilant,

      Surprise, Surprise~!

      Once we take a step away and look at the IM industry we can classify what 80% or more of what is sold as:

      1) Dog Shit OR
      2) Dog Shit Light
      Etc) Iteration 2001, 2002 so on and so forth.

      The problem I have with these Phocking seances or packaged “Info Products” is they’re pretty much all the Phocking same. As in the example above, try dog shit. Then, try Dog Shit Light. It’s still Dog Shit. Of course, we can be have our emotions probed and perhaps we’ll bite on Dog Shit v. 2.7

      Then, there’s the nauseating “Interviews” whereby this expert is going to show YOU how you too can cook Dog Shit and sell it however you like it.

      So, is it any Phocking wonder that 80% of what’s sold out there leaves a bad taste in people’s mouth?

    3. @EverVigilant, OMG. “I want success oriented worker bees”? Why doesn’t he just say “I want slaves” and/or “hey, pay me to be my slave”?

  8. Harlan Kilstein is so fat he’s gotta iron his clothes in the drive way
    Harlan Kilstein is so fat he spits butter

    Harlan Kilstein is so fat he jumped up in the air and got stuck
    Harlan Kilstein is so fat his waist size is the equator

    Harlan Kilstein is so fat he went outside in a red dress and the kids yelled “HEY KoolAID!”

    Harlan Kilstein is so fat he’s on BOTH sides of his family.

  9. I agree that there are things that are massively wrong with the IM industry.

    I also agree that Harlan is a touch overweight.

    However, as someone who has got to know him on a personal level through doing business with him, I can tell you:

    – there are very few who are as honest with him both financially and also with feedback

    – he is an extremely giving person and prepared to go the extra mile for you just to ‘help you out’

    Nobody is perfect. And we all do have our faults.

    The main criticisms which salty seems to have with him is:

    – he is fat
    – he likes yoga even though he is fat
    – he claims that finger healing works (which it may or may not, like acupuncture etc.)

    None of which would suggest that he should be set up as a major target.

    Then there is tha comment that he once made towards someone who had been a victim of abuse.

    I don’t really know what was behind that comment. And salty probably doesn’t too.

    Out of context it could seem that he was attacking the victim.

    Out of context it could also mean a huge number of other things also.

    Unfortunately, it has been used as part of a hanging of a man who is basically ‘good’.
    Which I find sad when there are so many people both within and without the IM community where efforts could be concentrated in a much more constructive way.

    Unless the point of this blog is to attack people who are overweight, enjoy yoga and finger healing and may have once made a forum comment online which may or may not have been abusive and may or may not have been misconstrued.

    1. @Not Harlan,

      I think the fundamental issue is that Mr Kilstein is a lying scammer. The insults serve to hit a narcissist where it hurts.

      Also, accupuncture has a decent scientific basis. Finger healing does not. Which any “doctor” should know.

    2. @Not Harlan ::

      What kind of business have you and the NotDoctor done together which has given you such a glowing impression of his goodness and innocence and touch-of-fatness?

      Or is that some context you’d rather not provide because it won’t support your lying?

  10. The problem with most of the IMers is that you can take 99.9999% of them and package all of their works into a book that sells for about $14.95…

    However, they will package – repackage – spin – resell – jv – upsell – dream weave – continuity this and that…while charging 97.00 or, $199 for each iteration…while making the naive believe only they know what’s good for them…

    I really don’t think you get it nor care to…Charging a high price with hot (air) even if it’s just 97.00 for the next 9 mins does not make someone ethical…Upsell that

  11. @Not Harlan,

    And where can I get my copy of the “no work Beached Williams” program…or was it bleached millions?? Hyping dog shit as dog shit lite (er, NO WORK REQUIRED FOLKS) doesn’t detract from the fact that he’s still selling dog shit for 97.00

  12. Below is a mail conversation someone had with Not-Doctor Kilstein for his blog curation software

    What a jerk he is man

    -Pankaj

    *****************************

    Prospective User (name changed to Prospective User)
    to support

    Hi

    Can you tell me when Beach Millions 2.0 will be released?

    Kindest regards,
    Prospective User
    ~~

    OTC Publishing
    to me

    When it’s ready. I’m using 1.8

    Sent from my iPhone
    Peace
    ~~~~
    User
    to OTC

    Hi

    I’m considering joining your Blog Curation starter course. Can you tell me how the Beach Millions software works exactly? Does it take a long time to set up for each Blog that I have. i.e. do I have to manually find RSS feeds for it to check each time I need an article to curate?

    Kindest regards,
    Prospective User

    ~~~
    OTC Publishing
    to me

    It’s all explained in the course

    ~~~~
    Prospective User
    to OTC

    Hi

    I’m just a little reluctant to spend money on a course only to find that the software requires a lot of manual set-up work.

    Prospective User

    ~~~~~~
    OTC Publishing
    to me

    Please don’t buy the course.

    ~~~~~
    Prospective User
    to OTC

    Are you saying that the course isn’t good?
    I’m confused.

    ~~~~

    OTC Publishing
    to me

    Not at all.

    I’m saying YOU should not join.

    This is my last reply to you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Prospective User
    to OTC

    I have no idea why you are so rude and reluctant to answer questions about your software. I haven’t said anything offensive to you, but what I’m glad about is that I haven’t wasted money with you now. I’ll be sure to make sure the forums see your responses. You are a very nasty person!

    1. @sanjy, If you look up the word “prick” in the dictionary, it will have a picture of Harlan Kilstein, and also say, “see also: bastard, pervert, shyster.”

  13. :-( OTC forgot to “Peace” you once they settled on the “fuck-off, we don’t answer the non-get-your-money questions like we said on the pretend-support-contact page”:

    “Contact Us

    If you have any questions, about payments, billing, membership levels
    please feel free to call Sandra at 561-395-7400 or better yet, send her an email support@otc-publishing.com

    Sandra works 9-5 Monday to Friday, Eastern Time
    Ask all your questions about curation, niches, monetization of your site, etc… at this email address.

    BlogCuration@gmail.com

    Please don’t hesitate to email us with any questions you may have.”

  14. You will never stop me stealing money.
    I have also started grave robbing and stealing fillings from corpses

    1. @Harlan Kilstein Is A Thief, Well that certainly sounds plausible, but it also sounds like maybe you’ve toned it down a bit. That’s all you do with the corpses now?

  15. I sent Salty info I found via public records. HK’s home, according to public Florida records I found, is located 6 miles from the beach. I have to question copy that says a person who lives in a $220K home in Boca (six miles from the beach) is walking on the beach while making 7 figures. If making 7 figures, then why live in a such a small house next to the highway? I’ve lived in FL. Culturally speaking, six miles is a LONG way to live from the beach if you are a beach lover.

  16. Oh dear lord…I went to his Blog Curation site. I’m wondering where the automatic prestige comes from…I’ve never heard of him…does nobody Google people anymore before they lay out $1,000 and then work for 4 months for someone else?

    1. @Nonny Muss, You could ask John Carlton (Gary Halbert’s Yoko Ono) about Harlan Kilstein’s magic finger act. Carlton rubs Kilstein’s back, and Kilstein rubs Carlton’s back. I don’t know if there is soap involved.

  17. I think we all missed the prelude to the Tiffany “segment”-

    What I believe happened to the good Doctor of C.P. (Customer Proctology)is that the explanation for our hero’s peculiar “gait” coming out of Tiffany was due to the complete and udder (misspelling intentional in honor of our lithe protagonist) shock at the exchange that occurred-

    I think it can best be illustrated as if we were producing the next Lifetime mini-series of the life and times of a ragged, androgynous marketer just looking for a little love and acceptance…

    FADE IN-

    Dr. of C.P. struts his homeless-looking junk into a high end jewelry store (unfortunately due to our low production budget we can’t afford to travel to the Beverly Hills location, so we’ll have to resort to a discount outlet in a Corpus Christie mall, but heck, we’re in the business of show so who cares…)

    Dr. of C.P. waddles up to a young, beautiful, impeccably dressed and coiffed sales associate. Associate displays a look of horror not unlike the first time she saw, well, Dr. of C.P.

    Sales Associate

    Excuse me, ah, maa’am? Sir? I’m sorry, it was hard to
    tell from your sagging chest. Anyway, restrooms are for
    customers only. Please leave.

    Dr. of C.P. then wanders out of the store, shocked at not only the complete disregard and disrespect, but also frustrated and upset because he could have sworn that the McDonald’s was located next door, but now is nowhere to be found.

    FADE OUT (we hope)

  18. (I know that Corpus Christie is in Texas, it actually was an inside joke to myself and the entertainment business, but yeah, it won’t mean anything I guess to anybody else- Oh well)

  19. Let’s Name and Shame all of those doing business with Shillstein!
    People are still promoting his Frauducts and setting more innocent people up to be raped by Harlan Kilstein.

    1. @Blog Curation SCAM,

      I don’t want to shame any victims, like the people who interact with @DrKilstein on Twitter, and I’m not sure how to shame the shameless. (Is anyone outside of IM/MMO promoting him?) But here’s a start:

      These people operate websites with favorable descriptions of and links to BlogCuration.com:

      Jason Fladlien and Wilson Mattos
      Gull Faraz
      James Jones
      Raizel Shmuel Stenge
      Willie Crawford
      Charles Kirkland and Keith Dougherty
      John Rhodes
      Gail Bottomley
      Mike Cowles
      Jim Van Wyck and Telisa Boston
      Bernhard Fraling
      Jim Green
      John Gerath

      Bill McIntosh (aka William Charles) earns a special mention for his contest website featuring Harlan Kilstein as “Prize #2.” (Prize #1 was Yanik Silver’s big day. Bill McIntosh was conveniently Prize #3. Ron Davies’ Share to Get was Prize #4, and Edwin Brian’s software was Prize #5.) Folks on the leaderboard include:

      #1, Willie Crawford (again), who also hosts InnerCircleMemberJoeVitale.com and InnerCircleMemberRussellBrunson.com.

      #2, Kevin Fahey, who also pimped some frauduct called GEO Pimp Slap on his blog.

      #3, Emilis Strimaitis, who runs a click fraud scam.

      That’s all the digging I can do for now, but it probably makes sense to ask the ladies why they feel comfortable promoting a guy who worked on PUA shit.

      I’ll leave you with some fun facts about links into Harlan Kilsein’s BlogCuration.com, per Alexa:
      58 sites linking to BlogCuration.com
      28 website ranking sites, mostly ripping off Alexa’s data
      5 Harlan-haters, including WF, black hats, Feed UR Brain, Bring the Fresh and SD
      2 service providers (AWeber and Nanacast)
      1 redirect site
      1 aggregator
      1 directory
      1 comment by Harlan
      1 comment by someone else
      1 warez site
      1 seemingly unrelated
      2 down sites

      1. @Lanna, why it’s a murderer’s row of “who the hell are those people?”

        Nice research. Doesn’t look like the “Doctor” is doing so well these days. Maybe fake-robotology is working.

      2. @Lanna, I don’t get it why is WIllie Crawford hosting Joevitale and RusselBrunson sites? Incestious

        1. As explained in Willie’s rags-to-riches story, he is “founder of The Internet Marketing Inner Circle” (TIMIC).

          It’s hard to find info on TIMIC. TIMIC.org redirects to WillieCrawford.com. Those Inner Circle Member sites like InnerCircleMemberJohnReese.com all redirect to TheInternetMarketingInnerCircle.com, which bears the page title “Moving” and tells me:

          We are not currently accepting new members.

          If you would like more information, please
          contact our support desk.

          Thank you.

          Willie Crawford

          Evidently there’s a $37 monthly membership fee. According to someone who joined December 17, 2006:

          On this forum, Willie interviews some of the most successful Internet Marketers such as Marlon Sanders, Mike Filsaime, Frank Garon, Frank Sousa, Paul Myers, Yanik Silver and many more. The theme of the interviews is, “Is there an Inner Circle of Internet Marketers and, if so, how does the new person break into this Inner Circle?”

          When the Inner Circle Member sites redirect, they do give an “insider” number. Maybe somebody can recognize a pattern here:
          6 Willie Crawford
          6 Ken Reno (not sure how they’re both #6)
          55 Sid Hale
          85 Mike Ambrosio
          96 John Hostler
          140 Brian Edmondson
          191 Stephen Pierce
          192 Allen Says
          193 Patrick Pretty
          196 Ray Edwards
          197 Joe Vitale
          200 Jason Potash
          201 Jack Humphrey
          202 Yanik Silver
          203 Russell Brunson
          204 Keith Baxter
          213 John Reese
          230 Martin Hurley
          234 Ken McArthur

          These three don’t redirect or have a number. They just say “Future home of”:
          Doug Champigny
          Jason Cox
          Paul Elliott

          Is Willie Crawford a scam mastermind or a victim? I was ready to say scam mastermind when I found all those Inner Circle Member sites, but then it looks like Willie bought into the Send Out Cards MLM bullshit.

          A couple more Willie sites for your consideration:

          If you don’t want to get your free “Think and Grow Rich” with your wiener secrets, you can get it from good ‘ol Willie, for just $47.

          Presented without comment: Chitterlings.com

          1. @Lanna, Also found out about his Business Ethics Foundation:

            Domain ID:D104970043-LROR
            Domain Name:BUSINESSETHICSFOUNDATION.ORG
            Created On:06-Oct-2004 13:35:47 UTC
            Last Updated On:17-Nov-2011 08:26:38 UTC
            Expiration Date:06-Oct-2012 13:35:47 UTC
            Sponsoring Registrar:GoDaddy.com, Inc. (R91-LROR)
            Status:HOLD
            Status:PENDINGDELETE
            Registrant ID:CR32789586
            Registrant Name:Willie Crawford

            I guess the idea was too funny for the inner-circle-people because when I go to http://businessethicsfoundation.org/ browser tell the they can’t find any of the ethics.

      3. @Lanna,
        I agree it’s not the customers I want to shame, it’s the Scum who sell the crap for Kilstein!
        That’s a great list you have made!
        Here are some more:
        Chris Munch is actively promoting it.
        Paul Chow (Paulie888 on warrior forum) has also worked with him.
        Shira Gal (IMduru) his business partner on Beach Millions.

        These people are guilty of helping Kilstein defraud innocent people and making money by doing so!
        Also the Warrior Forum for allowing KILstein to continue to be a member there and scam more people

    1. @Harlan Rapist Kilstein ::

      You’re not making a killing tubby … you’re scraping the fucking bottom.

      But I can’t disagree about the raping part.

  20. I thought I was good at pushing peoples buttons… then I found this blog.

    SD you are the most sarcastic, humurous, brilliant writer I’ve ever read before in my life. I don’t know if you’ve ever released any books before but you should.

    Now enough kissing ass.

    But you are really one talented mfkr.

    1. @raven,

      Thanks for sharing!

      My name is Harlan Kilstein and I’m known as the Copywriting Jedi. I’ve written (and made millions) for the top names in the industry including: Stephen Pierce, Frank Kern, Ed Dale, Rich Schefren, Jeff Johnson, and so many more names I can’t even remember.

      Grabbed and Dropboxed.

      Everything about Harlan Kilstein just pisses me off so much! When I look at the video @Flashbacker posted, all I can say is wrong, wrong, wrong. I’m a copywriter/editor/proofer. Right now, I’ve been up, working, since 7:30 yesterday morning. No beach. No shopping malls. I actually went to the Apple store a couple weeks ago, and I was frustrated at how long it took to get an associate who could answer my questions and ring me up for an iPad – which I got so I can do more work on my commute!

      1. @Lanna, But Lanna, you work in the RealWorld with a real job, not in ScamWorld with a gig of scamming people, what do you expect? Theft and fraud was always easier than doing a real job providing an actual service as long as you meet the prerequisite of being dead inside.

        1. @Melkor,

          That’s what I’m missing! I need Frank Kern’s seven-step program to becoming dead inside!

  21. Have not heard much on the Harlan Kilstein character in a while. Salty, you’ve totally destroyed him on the Internet. Guess he’ll just have to live off social security checks.

    1. [CENSOR MODIFICATION

      by

      The Committee for Censorious Modifications]

      @E=mc^2, Kilstein is serving jail time for illegally fucking a manatee!
      He is also facing charges for possessing indecent images of turtles.

        1. @SD,
          It’s unlikely Kilstein is in jail, since his Warrior Forum profile says he was last active on that site at 3:32 pm yesterday.

          1. @, The same profile that says he is 25 years old?

            Ofcourse the whore sandra couldn’t log in for him, could she?

            1. @, You know that’s not nice to call his secretary that. Obviously, she is part responsible in the mess Kilstein creates, but to question her sexual morality is another matter.

      1. @Mrs Kilstein, if this is true, could you please elaborate with proof? Although I find Kilstein thoroughly disgusting and would not be surprised if this were really true, it is not right to accuse him of such a serious crime just out of spite.

      2. @Mrs Kilstein ::

        You can’t just make shit like that up dude :: I fixed it … now that’s the sort of stuff you can just make up.

        But :: if you think you know about a serious crime … then you should report it to the proper authorities at once.

        1. @SD, So there are legal ways we can enjoy fucking manatees? They are so nice and slow. I wonder if Schlubby looks at the turtle pix while he does the dirty deed to the manatee.

  22. Harlan Kilstein has also scammed hundreds of believers out of thousands of dollars pushing his Click Cash Post Program and doubling back on his CPC guarantee to sell these sites in six months or he will issue 5x the cost of the program back ($497). None of this has happen!!!

  23. I recently purchased programs with Harlan Kilstein, but asked for a refund. He would not pay the refund, even though it was still in the refund period.
    So can add myself to the list of victims. He is still managing to get victims, I got a promotion for his products from another so called marketer, and I am really sorry I ever heard of him.

    You can find a load of his promoters on his fb page, a lot of them are listed as his fb friends.

    1. @Customer, You owe it to yourself and others then to take action against Harlan Kilstein. Post your experience on complaint boards, and send a complaint to the Florida State Attorney General’s office. Don’t let this “man” get away with it!

    2. @Customer, if you paid by credit card company you can dispute the charge and do a charge back. Skip Harlan and go directly to the control panel, which is your credit card company’s dispute department or if it’s from your bank account you can go to the fraud claims department and file an affidavit. Kilstein tries its best not to pay anyone. Good luck. Hope you get your money back.

  24. Ethical is not correct! Harlan Kilstein has cheated hundreds of people out of thousands of dollars in his Click Post Cash program by purposely setting them up to fail in a flawed system that had no chance of succeeding and he only he would profit. Harlan’s genius and leadership has caused Google Adsense to ban CPC sites for poor content and replication, which also caused some members to lose their accounts on other websites. As a result, Harlan suggested everyone get their own
    hosting and re-apply under a different email address to fool google into reinstating their Adsense accounts. At the same time Harlan’s programmer decided to increase the transfer fee from $50 to $100 to further profit on the members who chose to take Harlan’s ill fated advise to transfer their CPC sites. There are other stories about Harlan Kilstein’s black hat methods of cheating people in his other program’s.

  25. I check this site every once in a while to see what antics Harlan is up to. I knew Harlan from the time I was in 9th grade and he was my school’s principal in the form of Rabbi Kilstein. It’s said that the guy who we feared and sometimes even respected became the guy who he is today.

    One of my most pronounced memories was when I was a freshman and he told two seniors to give me a wedgie. It was a rather uncomfortable experience. So I’m glad someone is serving justice, in a sense, on the web, and I wish this site success in SEO. I hope and pray that no more people fall victim to his “expertise.”

  26. Harlan Kilstein is picking up momentum in scamming CPC members in his so called ClickPostCash scheme. He is systematically picking off members one by one deny any refunds and back tracking on his claim to sell sites after 6 months of operation. Here is yet another poor soul who has fallen under Kilstein’s lies and deception: NOTE: CPC Program was not solely about making money. The primary goal was Harlen Kilstein’s CPC guarantee to sell CPC Member sites after 6 months or refund 5x the cost of the program which was $497.00…(Permission received from CPC member to post).

    CPC Member:
    Tried to register with “The Rip-off Report”, but had a problem. Seems that if one is not situated in the US one can register. They do give you a choice of countries, but when it gets to the “State” the only choices are located in the US.

    Had a conversation on Monday with Harlan about getting a refund and here is an extract:
    13:41
    CPC member:
    Harlan, I did send you a message via Skype last, maybe you did not get because there is no reply, so here is a copy [5/24/2013 1:29:26 PM] Gypsytrader: Harlan, I have to appeal to directly now about my refund for the CPC program ($497). The agreement was to post daily for 6 months, which I did, the days I missed are in May which is already month 9.I had to stop posting now because I did not make any money, but spent a lot on FB ads and photos.I also participated in some other of your programs with no success.
    13:43
    Harlan Kilstein
    You did not fulfill your part of the program. A guarantee goes two ways. I have an outsourcer who didn’t even do the program making money for me every day.
    13:44
    CPC Member:
    Where did I not fulfill the program?
    13:45
    Harlan Kilstein
    By not posting every day for one. You’ve been through this before. Go make money with your page
    13:46
    CPC Member:
    Please tell me on which day I did not post, because I can not find it
    13:46
    Harlan Kilstein
    You have nearly 13k likes.
    That’s not my job
    This is not support and you know it
    13:47
    CPC Member:
    So you can just throw out a statement without backing it up
    13:47
    Harlan Kilstein
    Get with the program and make money
    Contact Danielle for support
    That’s my final statement here
    Go make money

    13:49
    CPC Member:
    You know your “get with the program” is getting tiring. You cannot even point out to me where I did not get with the program. I have spend over $2000 on YOUR programs with no success and all I ask to get refunded for ONE.
    13:50
    Harlan Kilstein
    You are barely selling anything. Post something every single day
    Now you’ve had my time. If you continue I will block you.

    That is the support one can get from the “great man” himself!

    Did you get his latest email of how he “helped” someone from CPC to make money by becoming an administrator on her FB page? Lies, all lies, why would he not show us what he did and let the (imaginary) lady talk for herself/

    Anyway, if you got any ideas how I can register for the rip-off report please let me know.

    1. @Dwight,

      Thanks for the CPC member post: great to have a clear example of exactly what is meant by a 100% money back guarantee. These frauds really work for every cent of cash they manage to extract, and will not give it back under *any* circumstances: victims have to put pressure on the credit card companies, who can be so uselesss that they are effectively colluding with the criminals. The more complaints put through though:…. even these wretched insitutions will start to see the light of day.

      Re RipOff report: The problem with the RipOff report is that it is run by an unethical individual who posts made up’reports’ in order to blackmail people for ‘fees’ to get the reports removed.

      That said – there is much on RipOff report that is posted by genuine consumers about genuine scams – & the more truth out there on any of these disgusting scammers the better.

      There are a number of consumer protection sites, which are open to abuse by either the owners, or by unethical posters trying to downgrade competition or sites which expose them.

      However, with that caveat, http://www.mywot.com/ is a site that seems to be going in the right direction: there seems to be a groundswell of good guys that out number whatever scammers are trying to do. Fingers crossed that it keeps the right momentum – worth registering and posting to as well as to other sites.

      But also – if anyone here has a different perspective on http://www.mywot.com/ – please post! All I have seen is close to scammer or scammer types wingeing about the site, which can only be a good sign.

      Tony Robbins could benefit from some accurate reviews via mywot – but other scam sites are well flagged, and flash red under mywot.

  27. Hi guys,

    This has been quite an amusing read.

    You know, I came across Harlan’s 6 figure copywriting website back in 2001. Yeah, a long time ago now. And it was brilliant. His salesletter for that was top notch, one of the best I’ve ever seen, but after dealing with him I agree wholeheartedly with almost everything I’ve read above.

    And I’m saying this 13 years on, so the fact that I remember my experience with him so vividly speaks volumes.

    I hired him to write a salesletter for me at a cost of $4500. I paid 50% upfront and he delivered the sales piece within a matter of days. There were some things he’d missed though and I wasn’t entirely happy with it, so I wanted to think it over for a day or two and then request some changes.

    That’s not the way Harlan works.

    1 hour after sending me his “final piece” I received an email saying “please pay me what you’re due”. 4 hours later another one saying “pay me”. And this went on for two days until I finally lost my temper and told him “look, I’m going over the copy you sent and will get back to you in due course”.

    Well, that didn’t go down too well and I was threatened with all sorts. I was only trying to reason with him too. And the funny thing is, I paid the balance, without any changes – because he refused to make any – within 3 days. He bullied me into submission.

    That said though…

    The sales letter cost me $4500.
    The product cost about $1800 to put together.
    Marketing cost nothing as I used affiliates.

    And, without any changes, the sales letter sold 1800 copies of a $39 product and built a list of 17,000 people, which I later sold.

    So, all things considered, my “Harlan experience” wasn’t all bad.

    Would I deal with him again though?

    Not a chance in hell.

    I found him to be a thoroughly despicable person.

    A horrible man.

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