23 Comments »

Ed Who? said:
Nice post Salty. Looking forward to seeing what you have planned for Joe. I had hoped for an Australian win so that Ed Dale could get the Salty treatment just in time for his latest pile of junk the 30 day challenge which he relaunched a couple days ago complete with videos and photos and even audio recordings of his kids to help him and his best buddies pimp their stuff.
Ever since he appeared on your blog he has closed comments on his blog! Running scared no doubt.
Without giving Ed and his buddies too much of a heads up do you have anything planned for him or does Australia’s failure at soccer mean a reprieve for the tubby Dale and his gang?
  +3
[Reply]

Harlon Twitstein Reply:
July 12th, 2010 at 8:29 am
@Ed Who?, yea that Ed Dale keeps vomiting into my email stream, but I do think Joe Vitale needs a few minutes of fame. Ummm, why does Pat O’Bryan not have any arms in this picture??
  +1
[Reply]

Nikki Reply:
July 12th, 2010 at 9:05 am
@Harlon Twitstein, maybe he ate them. Nom nom nom.
On a separate (though related) note, I await this next tale from the Droid with a keen interest…bring it on Salty!
I only became aware of Joe through the Secret DVD, along with all the other suspects that appeared on there – how saddening that they are all charlatans. To paraphrase Animal Farm, they are all charlatans, although some charlatans are more equal (in deserving the SD treatment).
Sorry, I’ve been in a long meeting, I’m rambling because I’m tea deprived.
It’s all the excitement of knowing who’s next in the Droid’s line of fire. Ha ha – an unintentional pun! Let’s see how Mr Fire fares.
Ok, I’m going off to lie down & have a cup of tea now…
*shuffles off in zombie-mode*
  +1
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 12th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
@Ed Who? ::
All lucky not-winners of The Salty Droid World Cup are safe :: for at least today. After today :: no promises.
@Harlon Twitstein ::
Dicks don’t have arms.
[Reply]
# 12 July 2010 at 4:45 am

Martypants said:
He better start staring at his sham-stickers in earnest.
Couldn’t befall a more deserving useless pile of swamp crap.
Get ‘em, ‘droid – looking forward to seeing him sweat off a few of those many extra pounds of his.
  +3
[Reply]
# 12 July 2010 at 11:56 am

Dave said:
Why are all of you hating on Danny Devito so much? Oh, wait, that’s not Danny, is it? Never mind.
Looking forward to your blue laser reflecting off of his bald pate.
WINNER!! ::   +8
[Reply]
# 12 July 2010 at 1:07 pm

sadnlonely said:
Short fat ugly worthless greedy bum is a qualification that all these guys have successfully acquired and now they get the salty treatment. A bit of pepper too but mostly salty. They ALL suck up to whoever they think they can make something from and spit them out when questions start getting asked. Just watch it happens over and over and over again. Has something to do with self worth apparently or lack of.
  +4
[Reply]
# 12 July 2010 at 6:24 pm

Ed Who? said:
Thanks Salty. I’ll take that as a hint that Ed Dale is on your radar for a future engagement!
I’m confident that you’ll get to him at some stage. In the meantime here are some blog posts from Ed Dale that are deserving of note and comment. Maybe it’s time to leave him some comments before he closes comments on these pages.
http://www.eddale.co/general/this-is-so-awesome-i-cant-walk-straight-tc10
http://www.eddale.co/general/once-more-into-the-breach
http://www.eddale.co/general/im-so-very-proud-of-the-challenge-team-tc10
His fan boys and girls are swarming all over him as usual. Time to crash the party?
  +3
[Reply]
# 13 July 2010 at 7:36 am

Doors Close TONIGHT! said:
IM DEFINITIONS (from a pretend internet marketer’s perspective):
“A FEW SPOTS HAVE OPENED UP” = There’s no such thing as spots, you idiot. This is a silly download, not a U2 concert. Have you ever heard Pay-Per-View say that a few spots opened up? Exactly.
“BEST-SELLING AUTHOR” – I’m an author (via the freelancer I hired on eLance) and I think I’m the best at selling it. See, I’m a best-selling author. And you should use the same trick.
“BLUEPRINT” = A term I use to make my videos appear to be sophisticated and intricate pieces of work similar architectural drawings. Me and my buddies call them “greenprints” since that’s what we take away.
“CALL IN 10 MINUTES EARLY” – Don’t worry, you’ll have absolutely no problem getting on even if you call 30 minutes late.
“CLOSING DOWN TODAY” = Don’t worry, it will open up again at least one more time. Now I’ll just have to invent a reason that I haven’t already used with my list. (Darn, cancellations and duplicate orders have already been used. Maybe I’ll try, “You all have been so great, I just have to let a few more of you in”)
“DON’T BE LEFT OUT” – A term I use to pry on the human need to be included. Similar to: JOIN THIS AWESOME COMMUNITY” – A term I use to pry on lonely people who feel that paying for my product will offer them a place to accepted as a person and will gain that sense of belonging. Yeah, that sounds good. Similar to: “GET IN” – A term I use to pry on the human need to be included.
“I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THIS WILL BE OPEN” = Shit … sign-ups are really low right now. I’m going to have to re-open this a few more times.
“ED HARDY T-SHIRT AND GOATEE” = required attire for the smarmy punks at the conferences.
“FORMULA” = A word that makes people *think* they are getting something that actually has a proven cause and effect.
“FREE BONUSES” = old phone recordings from 2007 that I found in my Recycle folder or free public domain books I got suckered into buying myself.
“GAME CHANGING” = actual “change” will be minimal; hope will be through the roof.
“GO NOW” – Maybe if I try to command you to do something you’ll listen? It’s worth a try.
“GURU” – A me and my buddies use to try to enforce your utterly unrealistic fantasy of being rich and famous.
“SUBJECT: I AM PISSED” – Acting like I’m angry so you’ll be curious and open my email.
“I HEARD HE MAY BE SHUTTING IT DOWN SOON” = My buddy is getting desperate because not many people are buying so let me try this one.
“[INSERT NAME], I THOUGHT YOU WOULD APPRECIATE …” = I have no idea who the fuck you are—and would avoid talking to you if we were ever in the same conference– but I’m pretending to be your friend so you’ll click this link.
“I’D LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK IN THE COMMENTS” = I’d love to hear the good things you can say about me. If you say anything negative, they will not be posted.
“IMPORTANT MESSAGE” = Not important to you … but trying to get you to buy is very important to me.
“IN THIS 60 MINUTE CALL, I PERSONALLY TEACH” = I will play a 60 minute recording of an old call.”
“INTERVIEW” = Co-sales pitch in which I ask easy questions for the first 15 minutes, we yuk it up with fake laughter throughout, and then aggressively try to close for the last 45 minutes.
“IT’S LIVE” = I’m trying to manufacture pretend enthusiasm that this is an important event.
“JOIN MY NEW MASTERMIND GROUP” = Join a mindless group that is gullible enough to think I’m a master.
“LEAKED” = Sales letter that was intentionally planned and put up on website [Frank Kern’s]
“MODULE” = a term I use to make my teaching sound very sophisticated and organized.
“MY GOOD FRIEND” = some asshole I’ve JV’d with to make a few bucks.
“OOPS … THE LINK DIDN’T WORK FOR SOME OF YOU” = The link worked perfectly fine for all of you. Just not enough of you clicked it before.
“PADUCHA’D” = Tricked into believing I attended a four-year college when I didn’t. ;-)
“PRODUCT LAUNCH” = Series of annoying, often entirely manufactured, long-winded, drawn-out emails to pump up and promote a warm pile of shit that hasn’t yet been created.
“SOLD OUT” = My pretend attempt to make it look like my product is in demand. (I hope Walker is right about this whole scarcity gimmick)
“STAY FROSTY” = I just tried every manipulation technique I could on you, and now I’d like you to think I’m all folksy and cute.
“TESTIMONIALS” – Fabricated kudos from pretend people who were born with initials as last names.
“TODAY IS A HISTORICAL DAY” – No, folks, it’s not the inauguration of Barack Obama. But very close: today, folks, I am trying to sell my information product Maximum Internet Millions for $47 dollars (normally priced at $197).
“VALUED AT” = yep, my pretend number. Best if my pretend number ends in 97 and includes lots of different digits and cents to make it look like a PriceWaterhouse accountant came up with the number. If you post a comment on my blog asking how I got that number, it will be quickly deleted. Don’t be a hater.
“WAITING LIST” = Once you sign up, I’ll shortly thereafter re-open it up and I’ll charge your card in like 24 hours or so. Maybe sooner.
“WE ONLY HAVE 1,000 LINES RESERVED” – Um, I wish I had 1,000 people calling. I’ll be psyched if we have over 100 … and that includes my 4 friends who are going to ask the pretend questions we agreed on.
“YOU NEED TO HAVE THIS PRODUCT” = Really, you probably don’t need it at all. But if you’re unhappy at all with any part of your life, you’ll think you need it. So, it’s pretty much the same thing I guess. Right?
WINNER!! ::   +24
[Reply]

the voice of reason Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
@Doors Close TONIGHT!,
Careful doors close…you might supplant Salty super socialist as the biggest loser freak on this site with posts like that bit of idiocy. Yes, yes, loser. It’s all shit. Rest easy…it’s not you. It’s not the fact you’re too lazy, too stupid, or both, to take a chance on yourself and actually go balls out to create the life you know you want…but are so obviously NOT living.
Must be quite the relief to have stumbled upon this group therapy site (“hey, it’s not you…it’s them”).
Grow up, shithead.
LOSER!! ::   -16
[Reply]

Hmmm Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
@the voice of reason, A little sensitive, are you, VOR? Why? Because you recognize yourself in the bullshit category? Why, yes, of course. It’s pretty obvious that you are either a scammer or scammer-in-training. People like you HATE to have the light turned on, because you prefer operating in the dark where people can’t see you reaching into their back pockets.
On a side note, you are one psychotic lunatic, as proven by your lunatic-fringe diatribes. Seriously: See. A. Shrink. NOW.
  +3
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
@Hmmm, I’d guess “scammer-in-training” is the best description of VOR, who, I’m also guessing, has an economic as well as emotional investment in some h-dork programs.
WINNER!! ::   +7
[Reply]

spoonfaceboy Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
@Doors Close TONIGHT!,
“STAY FROSTY” = I just tried every manipulation technique I could on you, and now I’d like you to think I’m all folksy and cute.
Oh snapple. I do so dislike John Carlton and company.
Lest you think otherwise, rest assured that my dislike has nothing to do with the time he framed me on his blog as a depressed sociopath with a penchant for hatin’ on the L33T IM playahs.
(All I wrote to provoke that response from John was that I would turn from him as I would a door-to-door fish salesman, followed by a few well placed dot dot dots.)
Seriously, he almost made me cry. Him and all his L33T fanboys and girls.
@Doors Close TONIGHT!: Nice list!
  +3
[Reply]

James the Shrubber Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 1:22 am
@spoonfaceboy, Yeah, Carlton sure did his best to notch you down under the guise of imparting his “hard knock wisdom.” You could smell where he was going with, “I was once like you…”
The Marketing Rubble will eventually run out of Gary Halbert’s ashes to sprinkle on his Wheaties.
  +2
[Reply]

SD Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
@Doors Close TONIGHT! ::
highlarious! thanks.
[Reply]
# 13 July 2010 at 12:44 pm

the voice of reason said:
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Salty super lib, your site becomes more ridiculous with every passing post. And, with every passing post, you telegraph what you’re really about. Hell, you’re not a super lib. You’re a full fledged (probably card carrying) socialist cock smoker. I don’t come by here very often anymore, but I caught your post with the youtube video of Vitale showing off his cars. Obviously, it galls you to no end, socialist fuck-stain, that the guy has a rolls royce. The nerve…a ROLSS ROYCE!!! While Johnny Naer-do-well has naught. Never mind that Johnny has a shitty lot in life becuase he’s too fucking lazy to get off his ass and apply the astonishing amount of info out there that would turn his miserable failed life around (um…that’s YOU, cornholer). Far easier–and ego satisfying–to rip the info as “that don’t work” and bemoan the fact that someone is actually making money trying to help people fucking help themselves. And no, fuck face, I’m not talking about death Ray.
All you see is something very VERY wrong with someone who has the nerve to make a profit off of offering up info–info people are free to buy…AND free to return for whatever fucking reason they want–every single fucking product comes with a guarantee, loser.
You can posture all you want, ass eater. But the fact is, your beef is with the fact that these guys are making money. Some nerve. It just rubs you the wrong way, cuz you, my sad sack loser freak friend, are NOT a super lib. YOU are a full fledged “it’s simply wrong to make a buck off of someone else (even if there is a willing exchanbe based on perceived value)” socialist gutter trash filth.
Fuck almighty…you probably think that other shit stain–the one who lied himself into the Oval office–is doing a stunningly great job.
Seriously, you are one ridiculous, pathetic loser, sport.
And so are all your sad sack loser readers who desperately want to be reasureed that it’s not them, it’s the guys selling selling the info–”whew, I KNEW it wasn’t me. It’s all this info that doesn’t work. Hey, wow, Jerry Springer is about to start. Then…it’s time for 4 hours of World of Warcraft.”
Salty the socialist super loser. DATS da story a YOU.
LOSER!! ::   -12
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
@the voice of reason, Just being a troll as usual, I see. I imagine that no one takes you seriously here any more, if they ever did. But if you think the big beef here is that the New-Wage hustledorks are making money, you really haven’t been paying attention.
  +6
[Reply]

Zack Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
@the voice of reason, I have no problem with capitalism. However, you aren’t really supporting capitalism. You are supporting the CON. Big difference. That makes you a fool.
By the way, do you think you have EVER changed any minds here whatsoever with your rambling, nutty comments? Of course not. But if it keeps you occupied enough to rip off even one less person, society wins!
  +5
[Reply]

Isn't it the truth? Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
@the voice of reason,
VOR said:
“All you see is something very VERY wrong with someone who has the nerve to make a profit off of offering up info–info people are free to buy”
—————-
To be fair VOR (and I’ve come close to defending some of your points at times), it’s a question of true value.
And it’s the biggest sticking point I’ve had about this whole thing, as I’ve considered writing a book (to be printed, not a cheesy ebook). It’s not just these guru’s. It’s obvious that these scumbags that rehash same old and trying to use a bunch of hype to sell it for $1K+ are disgusting and that it’s all sizzle, no steak.
But, what about the lower end? What about when you walk into the bookstore and see all of these books on the shelf that are complete and utter trash that have some cheap cheesey title like they were written by a guru?
The problem is that there is no criterion for what is to be deemed valuable info for most. People will go in the bookstore and buy that over-promising garbage every day. That’s gurudom and info-hype on the low end scale. Just look at Tim Ferriss and his “4 hour work week”. It’s garbage, and he bloated amazons reviews with his outsourcing he preaches in the book itself.
On the one side, we have a lot of people chastising and group-categorizing those who make info products, and lay them out as a “system” or “method” to make it easier to follow. I disagree with this sentiment, as by nature it is preferable for us to follow structure, and structure is better than a hodgepodge of info.
I only ask this side “then, what constitutes value within a system or formula-type method?”
The sad truth is, 99% of these amateur authors that we even see on the bookshelves in stores, have written crap. Crap that won’t even be remembered 25 or 50 years from now.
I’d wager to say than less than 1% of books written per year are actually worth buying and keeping, if that (books that actually add “value” to our lives). The other 99% of proposing an easier method or shortcut, when people get off the high fantasy roller coaster, they accept their gullibility and go back to the time tested methods that never cost a dime (diet industry as a big example).
My only guess is that this crowds answer would be that if your creation is actually any good and original, it will stand on it’s own two feet with little marketing, and will succeed on more natural, viral, word-of-mouth methods.
And it comes back to the conundrum of modern society – and this is from VOR’s and the guru’s side of the fence – that people aren’t buying the truth that they’ll need to make an effort. They’re buying junk information for good emotions, just like they buy junk food for good emotions, just like they take out a bunch of loans to live above their means for good emotions.
It’s the same reason why any of us with relatives over 60 or 70 from the “old school” hear about these fad diets, they say “GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT”.
And the sad thing is, our generation is supposed to be smarter.
Maybe we are. But they weren’t anywhere near as conditioned to buy into BS marketing like our generation is. They had far superior bullshit radar back then.
  +3
[Reply]
# 13 July 2010 at 1:55 pm

Doors close TONIGHT! said:
Voice of Reason, This was a joke — an over the top and (obviously) exaggerated post for comedic effect. I assumed it was pretty obvious.
  +5
[Reply]

Zack Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
@Doors close TONIGHT!, I thought that was pretty freaking hilarious. VOR is just upset that he may have missed the “launch.” You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him turn on the faucet.
  +4
[Reply]

Cosmic Connie Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
@Doors close TONIGHT!, Exaggerated? I thought it was right on the button. Good work.
  +5
[Reply]

Yakaru Reply:
July 13th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
@Doors close TONIGHT!,
If VOR is grizzling about you, you know you’re on the right track.
  +5
[Reply]
# 13 July 2010 at 2:58 pm

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