Fabiani’s Shriveled Sachs

My 2 Daddies

Mark Fabiani is a whoring blowhole.  I think :: or maybe it was … Mark Fabiani’s blowhole is a whore.  Either way :: he sucks it.  Last November when James Arthur Ray hired him to do spin control atop the freshly dug graves of the innocent :: The Droid felt obliged to mention it {bleep}.   I thought it was a great post :: full of Shakespearean language and fresh scallops topped with sweet mango chutney :: but you people have no class or sophistication :: and it was mostly ignored {much like Mark Fabiani}. Why read about Fabiani in his boring ass suits when other Death Ray minions are showing off the full glory of their hot tranny asses?

That post could have been just the beginning of an epic battle between:

  • good {me} and evil {him}
  • new {me} and old {him}
  • crisp celery with peanut butter {me} and limp celery with K-Y Jelly {him}
  • doesn’t have a printer {me} and still uses a fax machine {him}
  • fucking truth {me} and fucking lies {him}

… but it wasn’t.  So powerful is Fabiani’s ability to not effect the story … that I never noticed him again.  He must be working on repairing James Ray’s public image in a parallel quantum universe {allegedly} :: because in this one he ain’t doing jack shit. James Arthur Ray’s public actions since the DeathLodge have never veered from the swirling path towards the bottom of the toilet. See e.g. :: his twitter stream :: his sham interview with New York Magazine ::  and the class action lawsuit brought on by his mistreating and ignoring customers who have already paid for now canceled events. Along with being a slimeball whore without a whiff of fucking ethics :: it seems that the Fabulous Fabiani also SUCKS at his job.

In spite of Fabiani’s best efforts at being irrelevant :: for the last week searches for his name have been driving traffic to the blog :: and that wicked old post is hot. What’s going on?

1. My not-so-nice article is on the first page of Google results for “Mark Fabiani” {FTW!}.  Oops :: what a shame.  Crisis manage that bitch!

2.  The whoring blowhole was recently hired by Goldman Sachs to help “clean up” their image after they not-so-accidentally destroyed the world.

Goldman Sachs!! Too perfect :: they share so much in common with Death Ray … fraud :: corruption :: exploitation :: bullshit :: god complex :: credit :: herpes? :: manipulation :: greed :: harm :: denial. A few months ago Goldman CEO {and head bonus getter} Lloyd Blankfein hired a PR firm with Republican ties to help save his black hole firm’s ever blackening image {link}:

“But whom does one hire when faced with such an image problem? To help with the gargantuan task of convincing the public that when this big ol’ vampire squid wraps its tentacles around the face of humanity, it’s merely cuddling?

You need an old hand. Someone who can look entitlement and megalomania and incompetence straight in the face and say, “I can work with this.” To that end, the firm has chosen Public Strategies, a Texas-based PR company headed by Dan Bartlett, the longtime adviser to George W. Bush and before that, Karl Rove.”

Sounds like good people :: JAR should give them a call.  But they just weren’t enough for Lloyd :: he demands asshole liars from both sides of the political divide.   Enter Fabiani … former Democratic insider.  But is he?  What have you done for me lately?  The Clinton administration was a long fucking time ago … get over it! Mr. Fabiani’s most recent client of note is a low life on trial for triple homicide.  He lied :: misrepresented himself :: and people died.  Fabiani has agreed to help him spin his way out of the consequences of his actions.

It’s not Ray’s/Goldman’s actions that need to change … it’s just the public perception of those actions.  See :: the public isn’t supposed to perceive  things … it’s trouble.  I mean … how would it look if one of the biggest of the “too big to fail” banks was selling its customers broken financial products designed to fail while the SEC was literally masturbating? It wouldn’t look very good … and then things might need to change in the worst way.  Do we really want change?  No.  It would bring too much suffering to all the useless FatCats … and that’s not fair. So fuck-sticks like Ray and Blankfein hire whores like Fabiani {while the dead bodies are still in the mud} to make sure that The People aren’t troubled by useless things like facts … or truth … or transparency … or respect for the suffering of the harmed.

As pointed out by EconomicPolicyJournal.com :: hiring a PR man who has me on the first page of his search results is a pretty sad :: backwards :: ill-informed mistake:

“Private note to Lloyd Blankfein: Let me repeat personally for you. You never, ever, ever hire a PR man that has the above linked to his name on page one, when a Google search is done of said PR man.”

Nope you don’t!  Or at least you shouldn’t if you have any fucking clue what’s going on in the world.  You also shouldn’t hire a PR whore who is listed as the press contact for a triple homiciding :: know nothing :: con man. But fortunately for justice :: FatCats are completely oblivious to the workings of the Internet :: so they don’t have a clue what’s going down.  The facts of the Internet revolution :: like so many other facts :: are game changingly inconvenient for the useless pricks in power.  So they spin themselves into delusion :: buy AOL and MySpace :: and remain intentionally ignorant of the very real fact that the cost to instantly distribute information globally has fallen to zero. Spinning and ignoring the facts won’t bring back the victims of James Ray :: it won’t keep the financial system from collapsing :: and it WON’T stop the Internet Revolution {viva la résistance!}.

Enjoy the present bitches :: because the very near future is gunning for your inflated zombie heads.

>> bleep bloop

18 thoughts on “Fabiani’s Shriveled Sachs”

  1. Holy fuck on a shining silver platter with a very tasteful garnish… that is delicious.

  2. Gosh Droid, that first post about Fabiani was a good one. Many of the usual guests at Jean D/Yakaru/Hippo’s lemonade parties were missing from the comments as well as _cartman_, Dave and Duff. I’d not seen that post before, but I guess I’d not yet found your fake robot blog…oh and what Unicorn Army said…

    thanks for keeping us entertained and thinking. still disturbing to think that people can suck so much and sleep at night.

  3. OMG, that guy looks like the Anti-Christ!!

    Mr. Salty, please consider putting a warning at the top of the page. Those eyes are some scary shit.

    Good thing my lemonade glass was empty; I almost fell out of my chair.

    It must be my advanced age, but I have no memory of your previous post on this guy.

    1. Ah, mystery solved.

      I was not aware of this awesome blog at the time of the original post.

      I don’t suppose there are any scallops left?

      1. @Hippo, The scallops are delicious. And yes,I’ll have a glass of Chardonnay.
        @ UV, I’ve been over at the thoughts.com party watching LeeKuan aka LeeMajorMinor,ranting like the mad troll that he is,waiting to see when they permanently ban him.So far he gets booted for 24 hours,then he’s back.On a 2008 forum I found a comment saying he’s “the most banned person on the internet since at least 1999.”

        Wow! Mark and Jimmy are so made for each other.For one, they’re both into cosmetic facial work. But with Fabiani in the picture, Bill Harris better watch out, although maybe he doesn’t really care, he and Ray obviously have an open marriage. Everyone knows they both screw whoever they want,whenever they want,and they even go online to find people.

        Hey we could call the Fabiani-Ray duo “The Master of Disaster meets the Master of Sham” then put ’em in a ring and let ’em have a go at each other. I bet they’d love to get their hands on each other’s twinkie winkies*.

        *I’m not really a “sizist”,just when describing slimeball creep d-bags.

        1. @Jean D, Oh, my. LeeKuan tired me out when he was arguing w/Bryan Neuman and a handful of others I believe including Yakaru, Stoic and Okmise (sp?)at NYMAG. I had a small hand in that under another name. Not like Babzalicious getting him banned, but yeeesh. I’ve seen him comment on some other Deathray things on AZ online publications and he’s just nuts. Not worth responding to. BTW, I think I first found the Droid when he posted the White Trash papers. Still one of my all time favs.

  4. Great Post skewering these soulless conmen, DeathRay who thinks he is god and is still working to convince others of that and Goldman Sachs who claim to be ‘doing god’s work’ while betting both sides against the middle and crying foul when they are exposed as fraudsters, bankrupting more trusting types- and entire countries- across the world.

    Fabiani, the self-styled “Master of Disaster” knows he can’t spin either of these stories–but he’ll take the money anyway. Just another turd.

  5. I didn’t think that promoting yourself as a ‘disaster’ would really give the appropriate image for someone that’s *meant* to be able to PR the bejesus out of anything.

    Oh, but wait. When one lives with one’s head up one’s arse, the world always seems to look / work rather differently. Instead of rose-tinted spectacles, you get crap-covered spectacles. Although, like the proverbial Emperor’s New Clothes, we can all see the truth…it’s only Fabiani that thinks he’s clothed.

  6. I’ve often wondered what the hell Fabiani is actually doing. The media has not exactly been overly sympathetic to his client – apart from Brad Bryan getting on Larry King and saying Ray “thinks about those three families every minute of every day” (and thereby admitting Ray couldn’t care less about the other family he ruined). But from what I understand Brad Bryan knew LK personally anyway, so Fabiani probably didn’t set it up.

    Or maybe he organized that interview with New Yorker mag, which backfired. And in hiring this whoring blowhole (google that one too, Mark!), Ray made it absolutely clear he sees this as a PR disaster.

    1. @Yakaru,
      Telling, that Ray sees this as a PR disaster, something that can be tidied away by changing the way it is perceived, not a wake-up call that requires him looking at reality of what he is selling and the danger of the thoroughly unscrupulous practices he is using to sell it.

      1. @stoic,
        Ray’s idea of getting Clinton’s fixer also speaks volumes about his estimation of his importance in the grander scheme of things. Shortly before the death lodge he was in the Huffington Post lecturing Obama on “how the universe functions”.

        Also, I missed this article from Cassandra Yorgey when it came out (maybe everyone else has seen it), but it also reveals where Ray’s priorities lie – with people being airlifted out, he was talking to his lawyers, instead of helping police identifiy the the Jane Doe’s and John Doe’s.

    1. @Adam,

      Take it easy, dude! Why would anyone kill themselves for writing this intelligent and thought-provoking article?

      Fabiani’s latest bit of brilliance was managing Lance Armstrong’s fall from grace. He had him go on Oprah and (sort of but not really) bare his soul. And we see how well that worked out for Lance “most hated man in America” Armstrong.

    2. @Adam,

      You wrote:

      “whoever wrote this, can go FUCKING KILL THEMSELVES.”

      …meaning not what you meant people to understand.

      Never mind.

      I’d missed this SD article – being a relative latecomer to the site. So I appreciate your comment as it brought this article to my attention. It is brilliant, as per usual.

      If you are thinking of going ahead and doing what you did not actually mean: don’t.

      Life is too short. No need to shorten it further. You could go to therapy. Or try to change yourself, and understand why the article above is good, rather than bad.

Comments are closed.