New Year’s Wedding

happy couple

happy couple

The Salty Droid is happy to announce the recent nuptials of quantum physics expert James Arthur Ray :: and grumpy old man and mediocre clarinetist William Bill Harris.

What started as a mutual interest in conning nice folks out of their money :: quickly turned into a passionate love affair. The grass scented oils … the sweaty back hair … and the madness of tongue exploration … none shall be forgotten soon.

He loves lies and pretending to be God :: She loves spankings and being called Cleopatra.  He took money from people who died in a Death Lodge :: She took money from people who died in a Death Lodge. He likes giving people herpes :: She sees sexual disease as a sign of virility.

And the sex … oh my god the sex … would be great if either was capable of a non-pharmaceutical erection.  But they can still “squish tinies” :: as they like to call it :: and if they’re happy … I’m happy.

May 2010 be the best year of their love!!!!

>> bleep bloop

56 thoughts on “New Year’s Wedding”

  1. Um…yeah…you might want to grab a brain and think things out before you libel the shit out of people. Exposing “scams” (which, by your definition seems to be “high priced products that won’t work for 100% of everyone who buys them–even if they don’t get off their lazy fantasy chasing asses and actually go to work to creat the lives they want”) is one thing, SD.

    Obviously you’re aware of “Hustler v Falwell,” in which the supreme court overturned the earlier defamation verdict won by Falwell against Hustler after the magazine parodied him relating in a fake ad how he got ripped on Campari and reminisced about his first time…fucking his mom.

    But, they’re apples to oranges when compared to your parody. Don’t be so sure you have carte blanche, under the first amendment to rip these public figures.

    Here’s the crux of the finding (granted, from wikepedia, but most likely accurate)–

    //the United States Supreme Court held, in a unanimous 8-0 decision (Justice Kennedy took no part in the consideration or decision of the case), that the First Amendment’s free-speech guarantee prohibits awarding damages to public figures to compensate for emotional distress intentionally inflicted upon them.

    Thus, Hustler magazine’s parody of Jerry Falwell was deemed to be within the law, because the jury found that reasonable people would not have interpreted the parody to contain factual claims, leading to a reversal of the jury verdict in favor of Falwell//

    Sure, makes sense. Does anyone really believe Falwell would actually talk about his first time in a liquer ad? Especially if that special “first” was his mom? Of course not.

    But, suppose it was a different ad, peppered with “baseless” comments about how he likes conning people out of money? And, yes, “baseless” because nothing has been proven. If that’s part of the parody, would it be ruled that a reasonable person would have recognized that statement as parody, and not interpreted it as factual?

    Now, if you fire back that your statement saying these two enjoy conning people out of money WASN’T a parody, then you’ve got yourself a problem, sport. If you’re declaring you’re willing to go mano a mano with these two and stand by your claim that they are conmen, then yeehaa, let the good times roll.

    Then, it becomes a case of you rolling the dice and calculating that these guys have better things to do than sue the living shit out of a pumk blogger who has publicly announced his plans to destroy their names and livelihood.

    Or, even more idiotic, maybe you’re calculated that these guys realize they are conmen, and that they know they don’t have a leg to stand on, and thus wouldn’t bother with a lawsuit?

    Mmmm…yeah…good luck with that.

    It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out.

    I’m no lawyer. Hell, I don’t even know how a person goes about proving he’s “not a conman.” By parading “experts in front of a jury who will give testimony that the principles he’s offering are sound, and can change a person’s life?” By parading “successful students” before a jury, each testifying how the principles turned their lives around?

    Hell, this could even present themselves with a great marketing angle if they sue your ass and win…”Found by a court of law to be proven to work–these are the secrets that can change your life!!” And then, in a long copy sales letter, they talk about how a bitter jelous wannabe tried to say the claims didn’t work, but that a court of law rejected that, blah blah blah PROVING that they do.

    One thing I do know for sure, though. If I had a multi-million dollar business, and some pissant little blogger declared war on me, and boldly proclaimed that he was going to wage war and ruin my name and ability to earn a living for myself and my family, I’d be suing the mother living shit out of him.

    Hell, one more reason–it’s a way for these guys to squelch sites like this by making an example out of you, so others will think twice.

    Shit, years from now, this could end up being one of the decisive cases in early internet law.

    1. To paraphrase a pricy US lawyer, it is close to impossible to win a libel lawsuit in the US as all accusations are nil and void if the person charged claims to actually have believed to say the truth.

      You better trust that Salty knows what he’s doing.

      1. @VoiceOfReason ::

        That’s not the worst legal analysis I’ve ever seen … but it’s still no good. Nice try though.

        There is no doubt that Bill could sue me if he wanted to … there is also no doubt that he would lose. The threat :: as he so clearly explained to Duff :: is about litigation costs and stress. It’s NOT about him winning a defamation suit … because he absolutely :: positively :: could not win.

        Do you think the prospect of being a lone hero in a decisive case about free speech on the Internet is a disincentive to my actions? That would be like the GREATEST thing that ever happened to me. Please turn to Salty Droid v. D-bag on page 307 of your case books! FTW!

        Someone IS going to sue me eventually … 4 shizzle. I’m ready and waiting … and have lots of sweet surprises planned.

        Also note :: that case MADE Larry Flynt. Hustler is pretty trashy … but that ridiculous suit made him into a hero that he wasn’t … and sold lots of shitty magazines.

        1. Once again, thanks droid, this guy sounds like james rays attorney…..I’m sure he’s going to be much too busy in the near future, to mess with a libel suit….I think you know what I mean…thanks again. john

    2. Two things come to mind here.

      1) Scientology

      2) Streisand Effect

      Oh, Bill Harris could go ahead with suing Duff McDuffee. Oh, he might even add Mr. Droid here to the lawsuit. But I can tell you, based on long experience tangling with the Cult of Greed and Power (that’d be Scientology) that suing people in a situation like this is just guaranteed to spread accusations and allegations All Over the place. Like onto servers in other countries.

      There are people out there who would do this in a heartbeat, if notified. (As it is, because of Harris’ connections to Dennis Genpo Roshi of Big Mind fame, Harris’ attempt to suppress McDuffee’s comments is spreading through the Buddhist blogosphere.) There are websites that would probably go bananas putting the stuff up, even here in the USA. Because, to be blunt, close connections between James Arthur Ray and people like Bill Harris are hot, hot, hot. (Just to give an example of what happens when you try to suppress something: YouTube pulled down a previously-secret video testimonial by Tom Cruise as to the joys of Scientology in January 2008. Gawker reposted it on its site and got some threatening letters, but no lawsuit. Before it was all over, Craig Ferguson of CBS’s Late Late Show had done a parody of the video.)

      And, as a former attorney myself, I’m thinking that your discussion of Flynt v. Falwell is pretty overwrought and quite wrong. What Mr. Droid has done here is an obvious parody and clear mockery of the relationship between James Arthur Ray and Bill Harris. And, again, given the known facts, that Harris is already pushing himself and Holosync out there as some great gift (if you pay $$$) to mankind, I’m thinking that Harris is going to have a real tough time arguing that he’s not at least a limited public figure at least as far as criticism of Holosync and Harris’ marketing of same goes. Additionally, given the connections that Harris has to Ray (Ray had his seminar attendees purchase the first disc in the Holosync set, Ray had (has?) an affiliate page on the Holosync site, and the likely probability that Ray has some sort of arrangement where he gets some sort of financial benefit for referring his attendees to Holosync) and add that to what Harris is already doing to push Holosync (all that advertising and groupie-ing up with people like Genpo Roshi), I’d say that Harris is definitely a limited public figure as far as Holosync and James Arthur Ray go.

      Finally, Harris probably hasn’t thought through the implications of suing someone in this day and age. He’s only thinking of the cost…I’d be thinking of the discovery–which is very much a two-way street. Stuff Harris thought was sekrit forever (like his arrangements with James Arthur Ray)…not sekrit anymore. (Gee, those might come out as the result of the Yavapai County criminal investigation or as part of the three known lawsuits already filed against Ray.)

      To quote John Gilmore: “The Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.” Mr. Harris can try to suppress legitimate commentary on his actions, but by doing that, he will ensure that the information he’s trying to suppress will be spread even further. Not only that, he might get some people involved who would not otherwise care.

      xoxoxo, mirele (on Scientology’s enemy list, which is funny, since I’ve never been in a Church of Scientology)

  2. Unlike your German Nazi mistress, I believe this is the beginning of the end of the droid.

    Harris has a track record of suing and nastiness.

    And Jason, you just went over the line.

    And Harris will go after you.

    The Internet marketing guys haven’t sued you because you haven’t affected their business.

    Filsame, Kern, Reese are still hauling in money.

    But Harris is different.

    He HAS sued people.

    He’s mean and nasty.

    So while your cheering section like your Nazi mistress are confident in you,
    I think Harris is going to clean your clock.

    The clock is ticking.

    Bye Jason

    1. @ByeDroid ::

      1. Look back over the old posts :: you see how each new d-bag has his own set of proxy server cheerleaders foretelling of my doom? They all slink away in the end .. once their evil hero is aspirating mud.

      2. If you think I haven’t effected the businesses of the other d-bags :: then you haven’t been reading along for long enough to offer your comments on the subject.

      3. I’d say calling a German Jew a Nazi is about as uncool and unsavory as you could possibly be.

      1. @ByDroid

        You are obviously a brain washed douchebag in the pay of or sucking the ass of this Harris guy.

        Watch and learn ass munch. The droid here don’t fuck around.

    2. Oh, and another thing, Harlan…

      How do you know Bill Harris? Did you write copy for him and are now best buds?

      Did you know that even copywriters can be held responsible for the lies they spread?

      Yep, even nlp lies.

      And that goes for all the other scam-artist brain-washers you wrote copy for.

      Bye, Bye Droid

      1. Yes, that first commenter does sound JUST LIKE Harlan Kilstein, doesn’t he? Yes, he certainly does! One thing’s for sure: the droid is REALLY under his skin, because he is OBSESSED with coming back here, time and again, predicting the demise of the droid. Hasn’t happened yet, and isn’t likely to happen.

        What people like him fail to realize is that to the mainstream, attacking the droid would be viewed as attacking the consumer himself/herself. It would be GREAT food for the pro-consumer media, and bring LOTS of tremendously unpleasant attention to the foolish attacker. As the droid has said, it’s exactly what he is hoping for. Who will take the bait and put everything they’ve got on the line and up for intense public scrutiny (only to lose)?

    3. Well, well, well. Did Salty just receive some “free copy” in the form of a comment from “slix figure copywriter” Harlan Kilstein? Business must be really slow for Kilstein these days, what with the economy the way it is, and people unable to afford to heal their fingers and other digits like in the old days when folks simply bought random, obscure stuff without using their brains.

      1. @Lester Freamon,

        I’m not sure “Cool Lester Smooth” would’ve used the R-word…that would be more Rawls/Landsman’s style…

        (Does this make the Droid Omar?)

  3. Hmmm…. Something a little familiar about Bye Droid’s enlightening prose…

    The terse little lines all separated by double spaces.

    The cryptic little threats.

    The insults of people he doesn’t know.

    Short.

    Terse.

    Cryptic.

    Sounds a lot like HK. Or one of his sucker wannabes.

    Maybe in 2007, he would have some slight substance to his tiny phrases.

    Now he has none.

    This is a sinking ship. Sure, Harris and his ilk can sue, bully, bluster and threaten until their little pug faces turn blue. But their just dusting knickknacks on the titanic.

    Their time is up.

    And the funniest thing? They couldn’t see it coming. Even though it was all their own fault. Talk about shooting themselves in the foot.

    It started with a few cracks. Then JAR took a cannon and blew it wide open. All by himself.

    Yep. the 2000s was the decade of the scamming con artist spiritualist personal development “you have unlimited power” guru using brainwashing techniques to drain wallets. But in case you haven’t noticed, it is now 2010.

    Sinking fast. I for one could not be happier.

    Go Droid.

  4. Rock on Droid! I hope this teaches all the con artists and flim flam men out there what happens when you hire a sleazy attorney to write a cease and desist order for you. The bloggers united, will never be silenced!

  5. These “new” trolls are funny, except for @byedroid, he’s not funny at all. He’s just stupid.

    It’s interesting how none of the defenders of the douchebags have the guts to post with their real name and their real picture. I wonder why that is?

    1. The anonymous marketing trolls probably don’t post with their real pictures because their souls are just too dark to photograph. As for their not using real names, some of them may actually be somehow (loosely) connected to human families that occasionally follow some of the more basic societal norms.

  6. if any of those idiots are dumb enough to attack, it will magnify their scam into national and international news.

  7. Awwww, c’mon folks, the writing of @Bye Droid doesn’t have enough typos to be our old friend ShitStain. but it is pretty funny.

    Oooooooooo, Bill Harris is scary. Bill Harris HAS sued people… So fucking what? Bill Harris is a loser just like the Death Ray, and by attacking and attempting to censor someone as decent as Duff McDuffee, he deserves all of the contempt and ridicule that can be heaped on him.

    Nice parody SD, keep them coming, and FTW.

    1. You may be right, Dave. Although it reads like crappy autoresponder copy, it does seem about 3% more polished than K-boy’s usual copy attempts.

  8. Hey, guys, don’t knock those one-sentence or sentence-fragment paragraphs.

    That thar is gen-yoo-ine hype-notic writing.

    People pay tons of money to learn copywriting secrets like that.

    Tons.

    You might laugh at this technique.

    But what if it works?

    blessings,
    cosmic connie

    1. Good point. All those powerful, mesmerizing sentence fragments are some “powerful persuasion.” Next thing you know, even pure slang and burps will be stealthily encoded with mind-altering triggers to make us buy total crap against our rational free will. Resistance will be futile.

      Nothing like that oh-so-scientific “hypnotic” writing stuff. Speaking of hypnotic writing, doesn’t Joe Vitale use the claim, “the world’s FIRST hypnotic writer” or something modest like that? Bill Harris was a speaker I believe at one of Vitale’s “summits” or some such event. Maybe they are good buddies. One thing about Vitale that I always found funny was that a long time ago when he first had some inkling of success he just HAD to put a pic of his new business card on his website…and just above his address he HAD to refer to it as “the Vitale estate.” Seems like lottery-winner mentality to me.

      1. Max, “The Pyre” blogger discussed Joe V’s “estate” in a recent blog post. http://mrfirespyre.blogspot.com/2009/12/new-wage-lottery-ticket.html

        I have no idea if Joe is good friends with Bill Harris or not, but it looks as if they’ve been doing cross-promotional stuff, especially since the release of “The Secret.” Joe has mentioned Bill favorably on his blog on several occasions. In one of the posts he mentioned that Bill Harris loved one of his books.
        Link to search results: http://blog.mrfire.com/?s=Bill+Harris

        With the exception of what is currently the first post listed in the search results (“Guitar Hero”), all of the others have a mention of *the* Bill Harris of Holosync fame, and in several of the posts Joe refers to Bill as his friend. Of course that could simply be marketing talk, but he seems to be “name-dropping,” anyway.

        Joe also participated in Bill Harris’ “Masters of The Secret” podcast series, and you can download a conversation between the two on from the learnoutloud.com web site. (Date of podcast: September 12, 2007.)

        BTW, the four-year (!) anniversary of the release of “The Secret” is coming up. That’s a very long time ago in Internet history, but as long as the stars of “The Secret” keep using it as part of their own marketing shtick — and they are indeed still doing so — I feel that we snarkers have an obligation to stay on it too. Accordingly, I thought y’all might be interested in this blast from the past. It’s a pic on Joe’s blog post of 16 February, 2006, showing some of his “Executive Mentoring Team” watching “The Secret” for the first time. http://tinyurl.com/yfwkbkn

        The eyes tell it all. :-)

        1. That’s some funny background stuff. I wonder when Vitale is going to hire an english butler to complete the picture.

          And that “executive coaching team.” Wow!! That is one sophisticated looking bunch. I can imagine all the people standing in line just for the opportunity to pay them for their expertise.

          Speaking of “The Secret,” have you seen the Amazon review where someone claimed it had “saved his life?” Check it out here – it’s currently the first review:

          http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1582701709/ref=cm_cr-mr-title/185-5894726-7481334

      2. Bill Harris has interviewed Joe Vitale for two of his interview series: Masters of the Secret and also another series “Greatest Teachers of the World” in which he spoke to about 12 various people including James Ray and Byron Katie.

        The blurb introducing the Vitale call:

        “Dr. Joe Vitale is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and hearing his take on life will delight you. Joe is a world-famous marketing expert whose approach to marketing has been described both as hypnotic marketing and spiritual marketing. Instead of trying to sell people something, he shows people how they can get the very thing they want and need. Joe’s most interesting area of expertise, in my opinion, is the workings of the law of attraction and how you can use it to get whatever you want in life. Joe’s spiritual approach to the practical problems of prosperity will totally change the way you think about money and about life.”

  9. VoiceofReason: It would be so entertaining to “parade” Ray and Harris supporters in front of a jury!! I would love to see this freak show! Just to see what “undead” look like in real life! Thanks, SD, for baiting them so we can hear them hiss from their dark,dank stench of the catacombs they call “Success” or “Harmonic Wealth”. Oh, how they slither forth to protect their beloved Master!These Raybitrons seem to be truly “bitten” and will follow him no matter what.

    Case in point:This was on KPHO.com a couple of days ago: “Kristina Bivins, who was among the sweat lodge participants, said many people have built a life around Ray’s teachings and would “absolutely” continue in his steps regardless of the outcome of the investigation. “If he holds an event at a community center or in a tent, we’ll be there,” said the 42-year-old San Francisco resident. “We just want to learn from James.”

    Regardless of their “success”, these people clearly lack altruism, a basic instinct of most humans. But this is what false teachers like Ray thrive on: they count on their followers,who have personalities that are either predisposed to obeying authority, or who are characteristically selfish, to ignore their fellow humans in the event of an emergency. It is clear that Ray wanted his event participants to become devoid of compassion and empathy; to place Him above all the others. (Not to mention destroy any incriminating evidence, which explains why they burned their “warrior” journals on the last day!)

    People who follow guys like Ray have hardened their minds and hearts to those they feel are unsuccessful. They are immune to feelings of outrage that the rest of us experience after tragic,humanmade events. That’s why they “find the good” in events like the Holocaust, 911, and the OKC Bombing.

    They also cannot be expected to grasp your parody,SD. Parody requires a higher level of intelligence and a certain degree of compassion.By the way, the real estate pics are fabulous! (I have a secret hope that someone will “win” the Beverly Hills property in a law suit and turn it into a cult awareness center and rehabilitation venue.)

    By the way, I wonder how many of Ray’s followers, who paid large amounts of money to listen to him and his “experts” preach about health and nutrition, are aware now of his apparent abuse of supplements,hormones and prescription drugs?

    My final question is this: Now that they are betrothed, will Billy be exempt from testifying against Jimmy?

  10. Jean D,

    Me thinks that the commenter, Kristina Bivins, was really none other than James Arthur Ray. It sounds exactly like him. What a sad attempt at trying to redeem himself.

  11. Kristina Bivins a fake? Maybe, maybe not, but there will be a core of JAR’s students who will support him to the end despite all manner and volume of evidence to the contrary.

    There was a UFO cult back in the 1950s whose leaders predicted the exact day, time and place the ships were coming to pick them up. When they failed to arrive…it actually strengthened the commitment of many of the members to the cause.

    The CIA underwrote Leon Festinger, Henry Riecken, and Stanley Schachter to study of this group so they could harness its methods for their own nefarious purposes. Later, they wrote a book for the public based on their experience called “When Prophecy Fails”

    Sadly, it’s not that hard to create a cult which is why idiots and SBs manage to do it all the time. All you need is a total lack of conscience, some diligence and a little know-how. Cult leaders always end up being revealed as mentally ill because they are. Unfortunately, until they crash, the “smart” ones through their greed and industriousness cause tremendous harm.

    Cult formation can be summed up as lying to and coercing lots and lots of people and endlessly fleecing the ones who stick around. Stage hypnosis works by the same gleaning principle as does whacko evangelism and Internet “guruism.” For example, how else does one explain that sad spectacle of StomperNet and their two DB founders?

    Details about “When Prophecy Fails” and its conclusions are here:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Prophecy_Fails

  12. Question: I don’t intend to buy any of those expensive hollysync CD’s. But, I’m wondering if I could get basically the same or similar psychological results if I just record my vacuum cleaner and have my cousin Benny chant into a microphone (over and over), “you do not suck, you do not suck.” I could then listen to that on my (Christmas present, 1986) Sony walkman when I’m out chopping wood or working in the barn. Would that work about as well? Any and all opinions welcome.

    1. Hank, that sounds like a pretty good idea to me. However, you should keep in mind that words are powerful things, and they affect not only people and animals but also what we sometimes refer to as inanimate objects. (That’s why products such as those water affirmation labels work so well to rearrange the molecules in your water.) Be sure you record Cousin Benny’s chants separately, and later on you can mix them with the vacuum cleaner noise. You absolutely do not want him saying, “You do not suck” in the presence of the vacuum cleaner.

      1. Thanks for the advice, Cosmic Connie. I will do as you suggest and have Cousin Benny chant separately. I certainly do not want the vacuum cleaner to rearrange the molecules in his brain, which only has a 3rd grade education. I’ll have to look into those water affirmation labels (after I get through paying off the “clean out the garage” affirmation labels).

  13. There once was a huckster named Bill
    Whose products helped Death-Ray to kill
    The sweatlodge went bad
    Then Death-Ray was sad
    So he hired a spokesman to shill

  14. Pingback: » Guiding Light
  15. I was just Googling to see if I could find out any more about James Ray’s involvement with the Transformational Leadership Council (whose summer meeting adjourned the other day), and I came across a couple of links featuring our favorite married couple.

    For some real trips down memory lane, try these links:

    http://blog.jamesray.com/2006/07/id-like-to-meet-you.html

    Highlight: “By the way, when Bill and I get together, it’s… well… it’s just electric. The excitement and energy literally pulsates throughout the room.”

    And then there’s this, where Billy interviews Jimmy, or vice-versa:
    http://talentdevelop.com/articles/JRBIG.html

    Highlight: Jimmy and Billy talk about beans and sex.

    Eye-rolling and gag-inducing.

    By the way, Bill Harris is still listed as a “member in good standing” on the Transformational Leadership Council web site.

    1. @sarasota wedding photographer ::

      Yeah :: it’s for real. :)

      People are dead. :)

      Great wedding spamming. :)

      :) :) :)

      weddings!

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