Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

Josh and Megan Fredrickson Eat Chips

I’m sorry you missed the goodbye party for the lovely Misses and Misses Fredrickson :: it was held last Monday :: and you weren’t invited because you are suck ass lame {don’t blame yourself just because it’s your fault}. These two sterling examples of hypocrisy in action have decided to abandon all hope and flee the area :: something the UN recommends to all residents of California :: Arizona :: Greece :: Spain :: Portugal :: and Canada {just because!}.

In attendance were a bunch of former JRI insiders like Tina Hefner and Michelle Goulet :: plus all the other super cool friends that Megan and Josh made while they were California Dreamin’ :: like {blank} :: oh and of course old {blank} … he/she is such a character. Okay so maybe they didn’t make any non-JRI friends :: but you know how the UnHarmonically Minded™ tend to cock block the quantum energy of your universal oneness :: etc.

Insiders tell The Droid that chips were eaten :: and that flexi-straw availability was abundant.

Former Employee 1: Remember when we fleeced thousands of people for everything they had?

Former Employee 2: Yeah. Those were such good times.

Former Employee 3: And don’t forget about the deaths –

Former Employee 1: Oh and the vomiting … and the blood …

Former Employee 3: And the cover-ups!

Former Employee 2: Yeah. Those were such good times.

Josh Fredrickson: Megan can I get you anything? Like another flexi-straw for your beer, or perhaps a new man lover for you to fawn all over?

Odds are that Josh and Megan are heading back to Minnesota :: from whence they came. Colleen Conaway wanted to make the California to Minnesota return passage as well :: she had a life and a family who cared about her there also :: oh but she died. And Mania Megan wouldn’t happen to know anything about that. Mania Megan wouldn’t happen to know anything about anything even though she clearly knows everything about everything.

Back home for Megan and Josh. Back to real life. Back to normal life. Or maybe not …

Hey Megan Fredrickson :: Google your name lately?

Oops :: I’m sorry for ranking number one :: how rude of me! I know I don’t paint a very flattering picture of you here … but rest assured that if any future potential employers contacted me directly … I’d be able to make it even worse {it’s a gift!}. But I’m sure it’s fine :: nobody ever searches Google :: and nobody ever tells me any secrets or queries me for data.

Hey Josh Fredrickson :: Google your name lately?

But you don’t care. You and your cat SheShe are Internet Marketers :: you don’t have to apply for jobs or send out resumes. Working from home :: independence :: living the dream :: fast money :: unicorns :: FTW!

Funny story :: the damnedest thing happened in Internet Marketing while you were off stroking James Arthur Ray :: I’ll give you hint … it’s me! Yep yep! I think you’ll find that having my attention proves less than advantageous :: kinda like a super bad case of small pox with a side of bonus herpes.

Don’t you two dipshits see that this thing is going to follow you forever? You can’t escape it now :: four people dead :: dozens severely injured :: thousands conned of thousands. It’s your “legacy” :: and it’s a sham. Your only hope of saving your names and futures lies in telling the truth NOW :: and in taking a risk in order to do the right thing.

THE TRUTH ASSHOLES!!! Otherwise … you don’t deserve any flexi-straws.

>> bleep bloop