This is relevant to my interests

good kitty kitty

Frank Kern Has Retired From Teaching Internet Marketing And Now Only Accepts Private Clients And Platinum Members” :: reports the various turd sucking scam sites of Irwin F. Kern.

http://masscontrolsite.dbag

http://listcontrolsite.con

Oh noes!  That’s fucking heartbreaking.  And he was doing so much good in the world … providing such value.  Why do bad things have to happen to good people?? **wink wink**  I know what your thinking:  “Does this mean that The Droid’s Perry Belcher is a Misogynst List Control Bonus is going off the market?  Nope :: rest easy sweet lambs :: that excellent bonus will be available until the sun implodes :: get it NOW before Evil Jowls runs out of cocks.

So why is Irwin turning his back on free money {and Jason Moffatt blow jobs}?  After years of bilking millions from unsuspecting victims selling the “secrets” of online “marketing” :: Kern is telling his followers that the real money is offline :: and he’s just going to focus on that for awhile.  You know :: this whole Internet thing is just a fad :: municipal marketing is the new cutting edge.

Highlight the word “retirement” and then click on Google’s new “Translate from D-bag” function and you’ll find that “retirement” is fake-guru speak for “running from the law.” The last time Irwin let the FTC down his pants they froze all his ass-ets :: locked his accounts :: and forced him to go begging to mommy {literally!}.  His settlement with The Man cost him $250,000 :: and made selling future bullshit biz ops a very dangerous proposition. But assessing risk is not the strong suit of the ConMan personality type :: and Irwin dove right back into the deep end.

Oh the regret!  Oh the humanity!

One of the special features offered only to Droid platinum targets {other than a first page Goolge listing :: natch!} is a service called “Law Enforcement Assistance Non-Protection {LEAN-P}®” :: and it’s really popular with all the top felons in the “industry.”  It works like this :: you get in trouble with the law :: and then I help them finish you off with info they’d be unable to attain on their own :: because you fucking disgust me and I’ve had enough of you.  And the best part is :: it’s FREE!!

“But Droid, I can’t afford that … my merchant accounts were recently suspended and I’ve been ruined!  How can I get in on your LEAN-P Trouble with the Law program?” :: screams some other Syndicate d-bags.  No worries.  The terms of Irwin’s FTC settlement required him to keep a detailed accounting of EVERYTHING he’s done over the last seven years.  All his partnerships :: affiliates :: monies in and out :: products :: sales materials :: and customer complaints or refund requests. And I’m sure he accounted for all his non-cash transfers like the ones revealed in the StomperNet docs and discussions. So his problems are your problems.  Thanks Frank!

Debbie! :: stop chewing your cud and take a fucking letter ::

Dear Alphabet Agencies,

We have so much to catch up on.  You wouldn’t believe what I’ve done with my hair. Looking forward to talking with you soon.

Kind Regards,

Droid

>>bleep bleep

53 thoughts on “This is relevant to my interests”

  1. Speaking of Stompernet, wasn’t there supposed to be a divorce hearing between Brad Fallon and his husband/ MILF Jennifer (aka the person that actually ran a succesful business and actually had credit etc.) around this time of year?

    1. @Rafael Marquez, yes yes yes! I’m so glad you pointed this out again! It’s a shame that this poor excuse of a man literally leeched off his wife’s hard work and success. What a sorry bastard loser. Women have to work so hard to get half the recognition, and then there are sorry losers like Brad, who use the hard work of others to their own gain.

      Which leads me to another point. Is it any wonder that these d-bags can’t keep a stable relationship? When you con people out of their life-savings, you can’t help but con people out of their hearts, minds, and wallets. You become a living con in all areas of life. You become a con professionally, you con your children and spouse, and you end up conning yourself out of life.

      I watched “The Boiler Room” yesterday; it’s an older movie, but worth a watch if you haven’t already. Gives a telling view into the world of sales and marketing. It mentions Goldman and Sachs, of course in the movie Goldman & Sachs is considered the industry standard of sorts.

      The main point of the movie is that it doesn’t even matter the actual service or product that you’re selling, the key is to sell that dream. The “this is it” dream that everyone’s secretly searching for anyway. That one big chance of a lifetime that everyone some how still clings to deep down inside.

      “Sweet dreams are made of this..”

      Make Seven Figures Quickly & Easily

      Now you can live in a first class resort paid for by your uncle Sam.

      *Free meals
      *Free home
      *Free bed
      *Free wardrobe

      And a whole new set of friends & family to boot! Yes with the LEAN-P program, you are guaranteed all of the above and MORE!

      Just look at what this satisfied d-bag has said:

      “After being thrust into the LEAN-P program by SaltyDroid, I was whisked away from my double wide trailor in the backwoods of Kentucky, to a wonderful 500 room resort, surrounded by the most luscious barb-wire fences and filled with a TON of new and instant friends. I’ve even discovered myself and found the love of my life within the confines of my new home! Thanks to LEAN-P, now I wear extra large & pink tutus with leg warmers & size 17 stilletos to “work”. This is truly a life-changing program” – Average-Once Big-Shot Guru

      So you’d better get in on this ground-floor opportunity while it lasts. In order to qualify you must have achieved the following:

      1. Have cheated at least one poor old widow out of no less than her life savings.

      2. Have caused at least one family to lose their home.

      3. Are on the FTC’s “to-do” list

      4. Absolutely CANNOT possess a soul or a conscience.

      5. Must either be ON SaltyDroid’s blog or be on your way to being featured.

      Now you can finally have it all; Free home, Free food, Free clothes-designed especially for you; and a whole new set of friends to boot.

      Hurry, an offer this good is bound to not last long!

    2. @Rafael Marquez, I believe the Fallon trial was to begin last week (around the 4th or 5th). It’s a matter of public record…anyone so inclined to do a little research and pull up the records to keep things honest?

      The most interesting aspect will be Brad elaborating on his claim that he intentionally concealed the assets he is now asking for a piece of. Especially interested should be all his creditors from back during that time when he “didn’t have those assets that he really had.” Oh, to be able to find and alert those interested parties to this little show…

    3. @Rafael Marquez,
      I believe old Bad Felon believes everyone has short memories, and deep pockets: http://www(dot)weddingimc(dot)com/ (dickface gets no link from me)
      Word has it, he is all tore up over the divorce, and only the fleecing of innocents helps him to rock that giant head back to sleep at night.
      I think a little Google bowling for “Coolest asshat on the planet” or “Coolest blowjobs on the planet” is in order.

  2. “It works like this :: you get in trouble with the law :: and then I help them finish you off with info they’d be unable to attain on their own :: because you fucking disgust me and I’ve had enough of you. And the best part is :: it’s FREE!!”

    I love it…..

    nuff said

  3. Naw, it’s gotta be worth at least $3,947.77. But I’m impressed you’re giving it away for free.

    1. @PagansOverpricedCrap,

      Oh, Eben Wind Pagan. I remember when he lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment in LaJolla and hadn’t even gotten on the internet yet.

      Douche…

    2. Eben Pagan is all pomp and no circumstance. He repackages the obvious and sells it back to people at ridiculous prices.

      He presents himself as an authority, and surrounds himself with other “gooey-roos” who “vouch for” that authority, thus enabling him to appear authentic and capable to the sucker market.

      But when you look real hard at what he says and what he sells, there is little or no meat. It’s highly theoretical in the vaguest of terms.

      He also has to be one of the dullest, most monotonous presenters you’ll ever see.

  4. Happy mother’s day to all the mothers involved in this blog and to all the mothers visiting and posting. My heart goes out to those who have lost a mother, like Mr. Bryan Neummann. May justice be served swiftly!

  5. From: Perry Belcher
    Date: Tue, Jan 20, 2009 at 2:35 AM
    Subject: How to get many fucking twitter followers A-Z

    How to get many fucking twitter followers

    A. Be a bad muthafucka!
    B. Follow other guru’s list. It’s public an everyone’s list is wide open 35% will follow back*
    C. Delete assholes that don’t follow you within 7 days w/TwitterKarma or friendorfollow*
    D. Never go over 1.5 factor following to followers
    E. Follow most all that follow you *
    F. Follow people who have tweeted in the last few minutes *
    G. Use search.twitter.com to search peeps talking about you or any subject *
    H. Use Tweetdeck to manage your Tweeting
    I. Follow feeders, people who collect followers my last 5000 followers are sheep like rabid followers from @bigrichb and they will follow anybody. His top 5 in his favorites list are feeders *
    J. Ask an assload of open questions form here * http://dating.suite101.com/article.cfm/unique_conversation_starters
    K. Ask for peoples help a lot. Name my dog, help me choose a logo etc…
    L. Respond to the best answers with follow up questions
    M. Post top rated shit from digg, popurls and alltop that has already been proven to be interesting. They will think you are a fuckin’ genius *
    N. Re-Tweet good shit for people with over 1000 followers a few times then ask them to RT your shit *
    O. Post Videos on YouTube and tweet about them. I have one with 40,000 views *
    P. Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn1cspHx7DU&feature=channel_page
    Q. Compliment the girls *
    R. Post stupid shit you do.
    S. 30% Humor, 30% Personal , 20% Random Content (LifeHacker) shit 10% Biz
    T. Push users to FaceBook friends or Fan page I have 4000 friends, 1200 fans and 500 in a social media association there
    U. Make your outbound link your blog or facebook or set up a links page like mine athttp://twitter.com/perrybelcher
    V. Mask affiliate links in Budurl.com
    W. Tell them to comment, rate etc…videos, blog posts and shit
    X. Get a chick to do most of this shit for you that has a * by it
    Y. Show them lots of pictures of cocks
    Z. Repeat y

    1. Is it safe to assume that Kern, Andy and Brad, and Fatty McFatty Belcher are probably not sleeping well these days?

  6. It has always amazed me at how little worth these “gurus” really provide. If Kern, or Pagan or any of them wrote a book, you might pay $15-$20 for it. To charge what they charge is just pure comedy.

    A. Do 5 minutes of research and come up with luke warm product
    B. Promote product by spamming people to death
    C. Deliver ridiculously over priced product
    D. 6 months later slightly tweak wording and release new product
    E. Rinse and repeat.

    Wait, am I now a guru?!?!?!?!?

    Everyone who reads this, forward me $2777 right away!

    1. Prices ending in seven are soooo 2009. All the gurus are now ending their prices in 6–especially three repeating sixes.

      1. 666. Well, that proves it. All those internet marketers are in league with the DEVIL. People better think twice about opting in and giving their email address to SATAN. There is no way in HELL of ever getting off that list!

    2. @Kevin,

      Release an ebook after that then have an apprentice of yours make a blog giving you praise and linking to said ebook every chance he/she gets.

  7. He may be retired but he’s still pitching crap to his lists from assholes like Filsaime, Deiss, Koenigs, and Reese.

    1. I wonder if Kern may not currently have the ability to take credit cards? That might explain why he’s pushing other people as an affiliate, ’cause they might be able to pay him in cash.

      Aside from that, what else is he gonna do to make money, go back to selling those crappy DOG ebooks? (And I’m not sure that was ever as profitable as he made it sound.)

      There’s gotta be more to this story than what little Kern’s said. I’m sure someone in the know will post the goods here at some point.

      1. @Zor, ya got me curious too. Never knew much about Irwin Frank Kern’s dog business that supposedly put him into the money. My guess is that he and the other “gurus” just started repeating shit they read or heard from some other “guru” and then made up testimonials and lies about their income like Maria A. Andros is trying to do.
        Then, they get their buddy to say that they are the king of list, or prince of copy, or knight of social media, bla bla and BAM you have an internet celebrity and “guru”.

        Thing is that Maria A. Andros seems to have a learning disability, which in of itself is nothing wrong with it, but add to that a scam and well, you have a female stooge making a fool of herself, who is totally convinced she’s really convincing the world of her greatness, “beauty” and celery-like following.

        7 Key Secrets THEY Don’t Want You To Know

        1. Make up a story about how broke you once were, how painful it was and how you stumbled upon the secret to turn it all around

        2. Create a fake story about how rich you are now.
        3. Write your own testimonials or steal them from other sites and change the names around
        4. Suck cocks (Maria Andros’ cock is above her upper lip and below her hair line),from current “gurus” so that they’ll tell all their sheeple that you are the next big time “guru”.
        5. Download all the current “guru’s” ebooks, seminars, and what not, read it , listen to it, and then regurgitate it into your own product.

        6. Pull out arbitrary prices for your frauducts from your anus. $28,918.00 for a 5 page ebook is very reasonable!
        7. Wait for that one poor schmuck to come along and buy.

        Now that I’ve BROKEN the Guru Code pay me $292,818.92

          1. @Carlon, Hey I am Just Over broke but am taking action to change that. IM isn’t all bad especially if I use some things I have learned and make money. I have paid up to $3k but never felt ripped off. I have learned a lot. My typing speed has gone way up and I am going to start putting out content that hopefully people will like and I have developed good radar in as far as who to buy from and who to avoid. I met Matt Bacak (free tickets)at a pitchfest but unlike Jeff Paul I didn’t buy because I did want to eat at the summit. Matt was very friendly person and I learned more than a few things from just talking to him for a few minutes also hung out in the suite and they gave me free booze and food then they left to go out and party but I had left early and missed it. I heard about it the next day but didn’t mind missing it since I like my sleep.But they had fun. I met several people and networked with a few of them. People are people.Matt sends me emails to bizopp stuff every day but it doesn’t bother me. On the other hand jOHN hOSTLER rarely sends out stuff but I usually strongly consider buying when he does. But both of them are nice people as far as I can see. :)

        1. @blog slob, Dean Rankin Dog Training Videos are the ones he made his money at? really?

          1. @Maconga, Well, that is the stuff that Frank IMPLIED he made his money from selling. Of course, any intelligent person would say, BULLSHIT. “Irwin Frank Dean Rankin Kern” is quite the storyteller. Nobody makes a fortune selling dog ebooks online. Nobody. On the other hand, selling the STORY about how you ALLEGEDLY made a fortune selling dog ebooks online, now that’s more likely how he made his money. You know, selling the cart that never had a horse to begin with.

            And if you have any more tales of Frank’s “early days,” please continue sharing them. Everyone would like to know more about what makes Irwin Frank Kern tick (tock).

  8. What happened here? Posts about the IM guys used to generate TONS of comments.

    1. @Watching The Train Wreck, that would be because no one is putting up a dissenting opinion so the rabid rabble can tear apart.

      First person to come in and defend Kern will be mince meat.

      Watch this comment be voted down because I point out there is a rabid rabble ;)

      1. @Fanny Spanker,
        the rabid rabble is hiding in the woods, firing up the crisis oven, getting the ordnance from the hidey-hole in the book and waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.

  9. Pull the plug, Salty Super lib. Maybe it’s your drug addiction. Maybe it’s the fact that you had to move back in with your parents. Maybe it’s because you discovered a great new glory hole down at the public library. Whatever the reason, it’s obvious you’re just not into the saltydroid blog, anymore.

    The posts are fewer and farther in between. They’re more incoherant and idiotic. They’re devoted to fucked up irrelevant shit no one cares about (attacking the PR hired gun? The guy’s just doing his job ass grinder (and ass grindee). Outraged that a PR firm would be a hired gun of some asshole motivational guru trying to salvage a destroyed career? Fuck, what’s next jizz drinker…attacking the his lawyer?

    Your site has become nothing but a waste of space, and time. To all the fucking lap dog salty circle jerk crowd who are ready to fire back with a furious “then quit visiting and posting,” let me say, fuck you–I only visit to marvel in the idiocy of this site…and to bitch slip salty super lib across his marxist face.

      1. why was my post voted down? oh well guess voice of reason has to log on a proxy each time to vote me “loser” get a life VOR

        1. @blog slob, I think your previous comment was misinterpreted to be in SUPPORT of the idiotic VOR. Gotta think out your phrasing more carefully.

    1. @the voice of reason, Deny it all you want, rambling maniac…but the fact that YOU CAN’T HELP YOURSELF and keep coming back here like a moth to a light bulb means…THIS BLOG IS STILL PLENTY RELEVANT. Especially to YOU!

  10. Another day, another no post day by salty super lib. His dealer must be having a sale on crystal meth–a $5 hit for a blowjob. A $10 hit for a tossed salad. My guess is, with those terms, Salty super lib will be up to about $80 worth of sweet intoxicating crystal meth happiness today.

    Or, maybe his parents took away his computer privilages until he cleans up his room…or finds a fucking job.

    1. @the voice of reason, You are so obsessed it’s freaking HILARIOUS! I mean, for someone who despises Salty as much as you say you do, you CAN’T WAIT for his every prouncement! To use an old saying, BWAHAHAHAHA!

    2. @the voice of reason, you’re speaking from your own experience. Go get a therapist or psychiatrist, this isn’t the place to tell us your sad life story. Nobody cares. Go get Kilstein’s colonic fingering course, maybe that’ll help you.

        1. @VOR is Kilstein, yep I have been suspecting VOR is none other than Kilstein, but I told myself I was just imagining things.

          1. Kilstein, you must not have any business if you have enough time to come online under a made up name and keep posting garbage on this blog. You must not have a life either. Sucks to be you doesn’t it?

            1. @blog slob, I just made that up seeing if anyone was dumb enough to believe it. Well I found someone dumb enough – YOU!

            2. @blog slob, No way is VOR Kilstein. I’m not saying Kilstein isn’t a lunatic, just that he’s (it’s) not VOR. I’ve been here since the very first post, and done a heap o’ observin’, and I think SD will concur that VOR isn’t Harlan the douche bag.

            3. @You Stupid Ass, you made it up just to see if anyone would bite? Business must be dead, huh? I know… I know … “fake it till you make it”.
              One thing for sure, you’re sucking Kilstein’s cock UBER hard; “like Hoover vacuum cleaner on steroids” ya little man-wench.

              Now go run and tell mommy about your big accomplishment this week on the saltydroid.info site. *clap* *clap*

          2. @blog slob, for all we know dumbass could be harlan himself. Have you seen the posts on the Jewish whistle blower sites made by none other than Rebtsvi. This is the name Harlan went by years back.

            He made up several fake names on those blogs and talked to himself in between the bashing of women and survivors of abuse.

            As far as the cock sucking is concerned, I wouldn’t put it past Kilstein to be sucking his own cock, after all he does 3 vinegar colonics every day and he’s into Christian blow jobs and lest we forget The Great Fingering healing.

            1. @Finger healing yoga 3.0, I’ve seen a lot written about these Christian BJs, and I’m curious – how does one define it as being anything to do with religion? Why should one associated with religion be considered to be any better than your normal regular BJ?

              Or is it that you get to cry “Oh God!” at the relevant moment?

              >confused<

            2. Considering that Harlan Kilstein is Jewish (or maybe a “pseudo-Jew”) it’s interesting how he got all wrapped up in “Christian” blow jobs and selling ebooks about how to perform “Christian” blow jobs.

              Kilstein’s wife is most likely Jewish, and given that, exactly how did he do his extensive “research” on the subject of “Christian” blow jobs?

  11. Got a free PDF from Frankie Churn this afternoon.

    Guess what?

    Last page was an invite to sign up for his $197/month Mass Control monthly continuity program.

    This has got to be a new record for the shortest retirement from interweb scamming.

  12. Nice execution, Salty!

    (It’s official..moving is exhausting! Had to stop by to share this though)

    What a d-bag…Kern selling too many millions of dollars of The Internet Rules crap and then bailing for more bricks-and-mortar methods.

    Why are we not surprised?

    I just pray that one of the roads Kern takes is the one the Devil himself is waiting for Kern on with a nice, hot pitchfork.

    Speaking of Kern (and trying not to throw up), this link I came across made me laugh too hard…and, of course, think of you and all the Droid’ers here…

    BTW, is it just me or does Andy Jenkins look more feminine than someone’s grandma?! That one made me laugh the hardest.

    This Beckta guy rankles the sh*t out of me. He is such a Guru Poser. He NEVER misses a chance to POSE with(sucking on) Frank Kern – or, well, anybody he thinks is more important than himself (i.e. Everybody).

    So, to celebrate the shitbags he snuggles with, I decided to rat him out, in case anyone else doesn’t know about this clueless dumbass).

    Beckta’s favorite phrase: Posing with Frank Kern makes me a Winner in life

    (Shhhhh… I can’t hear over the roaring laughter..sorry ’bout that)

    Feast your eyes, folks, on the sentimental pictures of all the guru d-bags that Beckta has saved of guru’s he’s blown (or slept with…or whatever)…
    do any of you have pictures that look this creamy, post-coital? Steady your stomachs and don’t say I didn’t warn ya…but, as a Droid-al gesture, I just had to share ;P

    Apparently Beckta made quite an IN-pression with Andy Jenkins because he is Glowing like he just lost his cherry! Nauseating!!

    (Willie needs to hit the gym a bit more and the Net a bit less!)

    NOTICE that you never actually see where Beckta’s other hand is in these pic’s – there’s a reason for that, I’ll just bet!!

    http://www.craigbeckta.com/cool-photos/

    Beckta: Just another human void. With some hysterical pictures of blow-job recipients.

    (Anyone got that new Droid phone? Yes, Folks, it has special meaning to those of us who know of the real Droid – the Salty one ;)

    Enjoy, Droid-heads……..

    Liar Crusher

  13. Holy shit. Never knew about this $250k FTC judgement against Frank Kern.

    Wonder if Tony Robbins knew about this before he got into bed with Kern. Im guessing no.

    Cavorting with an admitted scammer can’t be good for the manifest-your-dreams business!

Comments are closed.