Kilstein’s Conning Questionnaire

Sorry :: way wrong number.

When we last checked in with Doctor Harlan Kilstein :: he was not a doctor … but he was a perverted :: d-bag :: know nothing :: sick-o :: fucking lunatic who was stealing money from the weak and vulnerable.  Let’s check in on him again shall we?

{uses chopsticks to slightly part Kilstein’s Pee ‘n Sweat ‘n Jizz™ stained curtains :: Up Periscope [ten foot pole edition] :: deep breath :: open eye and look}

Yep yep! Same same :: but now with even more fat and salt.

Do you {insert anything}?  Then you are just the sort of person that Not-Doctor DoucheStain is looking for to join his coaching program.  If you’re willing to part with $2,000 per month :: Kilstein is willing to teach you everything he knows about giving up on happiness and being consumed by your own rotting turds.  It’s harder than it sounds :: if you want to reach the bottom of the fucking bottom :: you’re going to have to work at it :: and “invest” :: and open yourself up to the suggestion of the masters.  You can’t just go off and start raping unicorns without “coaching” on the proper techniques.

Some of the top-of-the-bottom things you’ll learn in Kilstein’s Coaching ::

  • Sexual harassment :: it’s not just a tort … it’s a way of life.
  • Make up lies about your dead children {but only when it’s absolutely not necessary :: and sure to be ineffective}.
  • Find ways to work the ever popular word “nigger” into your lie and smear campaigns as often as possible.
  • Never honor a refund request :: and rip off EVERYONE you do business with.

But it’s not all about fun and games. There is way more to bad business than just niggers and dead babies :: like sales for instance.  Attendees at the Not-University of Kilstein are given a script to use in their sales calls.  He’s christened it the C3P4 :: and it was given to him by Yahweh via a burning Obama ChiaPet.  If you aren’t yet living the fake carefree life that you’d imagined in your imaginings :: then you must not be sticking to the C3P4 for your telephonic sales :: shame on you!

{begin provenance}

Yahweh to Chia-Obama :: Chia-Obama to Not-Doctor Kilstein :: Not-Doctor Kilstein to the Sheeple :: Sheeple to The Droid :: The Droid to the Webz

{end provenance}

The script :: along with being totally fucking lame :: is an attempt to sell via emotional manipulation.  It’s not about explaining services :: or god forbid … value :: it’s about getting some poor bastard into the proper emotional state to say “yes” to something that will later turn out to be less than useless.  It’s not that much different from a conventional sales script :: but it is different.  Different in a way that reminds you to wash your hands and not talk to strangers.

Harlan tried it out on The Droid :: ABC = always be closing :: things did not go well …

HK:  Hello, I am Harlan Kilstein, and I am pleased to meet you.

SD:  Right back at you fat tits.  Do you mind if I call you fat tits?  It’s just that saying your real name gives me horror tremors … I’m sure you understand.  So what can I do for you fat tits?

HK:  May I call you Salty?

SD:  Please don’t.  And by “please” … I mean don’t.  Don’t say my fucking name.  Just stare at the floor and try not to cry at the dreadful truth in the mirror I’m holding up to your smug ugly face.

HK:  If I had magical wand and we were the Wizard of Oz and could grant your wish and put you in Kansas. Kansas for you is being concluding a successful project, what’s most important to you about this project?

SD:  Well if “we” were the Wizard of Oz :: then I don’t think we’d have a wand or the ability to grant wishes.  We’d just be some old douche bag from Omaha who floated into Oz on hot air.  We’d fail to get anyone back to god forsaken Kansas because it turns out we don’t have ANY special powers or secrets.  Good thing for us and our d-baggery that the Good Witch of the North is around to tell silly naive Dorthies that they have the power within themselves :: that they need not appeal to wind bags and fake wizards in order to achieve their objectives.

HK: Great, now, what’s most important to you about that answer?

SD:  Well fat tits :: I like how it revealed your epic ignorance.  But I believe I’ve already being concluding answering that question.

HK:  May I call you Droid?

SD:  Fuck you shit eater!  You may NOT.

HK:  Sheesh. Moving to the area of problems, how is your marketing a problem for you now?

SD:  It’s not really a problem.  AssLoads of people read my stuff :: and I’ve never done a single bit of lame ass marketing.  In fact :: if you Google “Harlan Kilstein” you’ll find that I’m dominating the front page of your search results without effort.  It’s just a gift I guess :: Chia-Obama be praised!

HK:  How are emotions involved?

SD:  Strangely inappropriate question fat tits :: but I’ll answer it.  Emotions aren’t involved :: I’m a fucking Droid.  Although I’ve heard there are some emotions involved for you.  It’s been described to me as “cold obsessive rage.” Of course :: that’s how you deal with all of your “projects” :: but in this battle it’s without the cathartic release of using cruelty to badger a counter party into submission.  Instead :: every act of aggression has served only to deepen your misery.  The bully gets bullied :: rage building up like arterial plaque :: your entire dumpy visage given over to perpetual blue balls.

HK:  Stress?

SD:  I’ll bet.  I’d feel for you if you weren’t a parasitic scum bag :: but seeing as how you are a parasitic scum bag :: it’s mostly just funny.  You’re stressed :: I’m laughing.  How does that make you feel?  Let it out … then I’ll have something else to laugh about.

HK:  Impact on family or friends?

SD:  You’ve already had a net negative effect on them :: no doubt :: and they don’t even know the full truth of the situation.  Since you called me :: I’ll offer you this piece of unfriendly advice on that subject :: make sure you don’t mix your disgusting personal failings in with your “business” failings. You’d really hate to give your “way smarter than you” nemesis a legitimate reason to reveal life changing sins best kept private.

Oops!  Too late …

HK: {click}

SD:  Sold!  Sign me up.  Hello? … Fat tits? … Hello?

>> bleep bloop

80 thoughts on “Kilstein’s Conning Questionnaire”

  1. Just a recap showing how Harloon claims to spend his time (when he’s not giving those requested refunds):


    Tags: overnight copy, Harlan Kilstein, Harlan D. Kilstein, Rabbi Tsvi Kilstein, copywriting, copywriter, dumpy, bearded fake, poser, hamster fun, hotel room hobbies, distorted worldview, waddler.

    1. It’s hilarious how out of place he looks in the mall and the beach and what not…even stammers unable to recall what sunlight is called..I for one do NOT want some d-bag like him touching my sites or whatever with a 50 foot pole!
      The weirdest thing is you can almost ‘feel’ the predatory mentality through the vid…like he’s hoping someone will give him money because of this video.

      1. @advancedNoob,
        I think you can feel the predatory mentality because he is so crass and obvious. For a copywriter he has no conception of subtlety, which pretty much tells you what kind of bottom- feeder he is.
        One thing about Kern, the d-bag, is that his false persona has a surface charm and he manages to inhabit it in a superficially credible way. Someone else commenting here remarked that Kern has managed to hit on the right combination of drugs and booze to present an integrated lie. He is still a shark but a well-disguised shark, this guy is laughable, sitting on his magic carpet saying ‘eat your heart out Kern.’ Dream on, Dr Rabbi NotDoc.

    2. Regarding Dr Harlan Kilstein’s Copywriters Life video:

      OH PUUUUHLEEEEESE! That was C to the H to the double E to the S to the Y! I’m not sure if I should laugh or hurl. For something like this to work, you have to have a certain amount of charisma. Dr. Kilstein’s charisma is about on par with an ice cube (sitting plainly… on a bare white counter… slowly melting). A true picture of excitement!!

      $2,000 a month for Harlan’s coaching program? Are you kidding me?!?!

      I would say Not Dr. Harlan Kilstein should be ashamed of himself. However, it wouldn’t have any affect on him.

      I would suggest using his full name in your comments for SEO value. That may well help others find this blog and hopefully avoid the pain that people like Enigma suffered.

    3. @Chuck ::

      How lame is it that I still haven’t filed the counter notices with YouTube so we could link to my mash-up of Senor Waddle’s Bring Your Camera to “Work” Day? Ugh! Someone is a lazy robot … but it sounds really fucking boring … but still LAZY!!

      Notice that Maria DMCA’d _cartman_’s video {which was ranking} …

      Enigma’s video went down via Harloon the same day. Maria :: hear my words! :: morons should not take advice from morons :: always leads to trouble.

      @Stoic ::

      If Kern was a smooth operator :: a well disguised shark :: then Kilstein wouldn’t exist. Kilstein was making a living off of dropping Kern’s name … you don’t get to do that for free. He whored for them … gave them money and labor … and they took it in spite of his fucking obvious deficiencies in quality and sanity. It’s comforting to think of him as a bottom feeder … but that wasn’t the case. They were putting him on stage. He was scheduled to launch a $2000 – $4000 product {Tactic 7} … that tested pretty well in June … that product was to be sanctioned by the “sick machine” … if it sold a ton … and he kept refunds {and screams} to a minimum … then it wouldn’t have mattered a lick that he’s such a clueless … useless … nutbag.

      But no one mailed for Tactic 7 :: and it bombed. And {sane} people hesitate to even give him an affiliate link. Andy Jenkins dearly wishes I wasn’t so mad at him … and yet he DID let ShitStein affiliate … and I noticed {natch!}.

      The scary fact is :: the echo chamber can make a “someone” out of ANYONE … they don’t even need to pass the laugh test … because laughing is not allowed.

      Kern :: Moffatt :: eat your heart out!

      1. @SD,

        yeah….me too….I was supposed to get to that counter notice over 2 weeks ago….this week is my goal….I have to…cuz my videos totally rank!

        well…ummm….you know what I mean….

        1. @_cartman_, please do. Your videos are excellent, and that one was a work of art! Get it back up there asap!!!

    4. They left out the part when Harlen drives to the local public school, see’s a little girl walking home alone, and says “Hey, your mother asked me to come pick you up. My name is Uncle Harlen.”

    1. @corsair,

      Hold on a second – did this low-life just try to sell me some junko CD of him talking about raising my hands????
      I mean seriously?

      Holy cow! The alexa on the site is actually 608k – ot much, but there’re actually people visiting the site??

      That’s the one thing that upsets me more than the d-bags – the sheeple who can’t think for squat! I wouldn’t be surprised if some idiot(s) thought they needed to find this ‘secret’ hand-sign that will make them buddies with angels…one thing for sure though is they’ll have one special hand-sign for Harlan after they realize what they just did…

    2. I suspect, sadly, that Harlan D. Kilstein sells a fair number of those ridiculous “Finger Healing” videos. That appears to be the main product he consistently tweets and emails about. It’s not hard to believe that gullible people fall for that schlock when you consider that even psychics can afford infomercials and their own “network.”

      If you look at the wide range of schlock “products” that Kilstein pushes, and the way he markets that garbage, you can see that he is clearly targeting people with self esteem and confidence issues. Seems a bit dodgy, doesn’t it?

      1. @Bob,
        I would bet that “Finger Healing” wouldn’t go over well with survivors or the like…

        For a professional copy writer (and doctor not) you would think he would have put more thought into reaching a wider market – people really looking for healing…

        maybe he intentionally wanted to turn off some people?

        what the heck… he just turns off people regardless …

        From what I hear … that is.

  2. and I am STILL disgusted beyond belief…classless, low life, cruel man…

    (I take that back- he isn’t a MAN at all)

    Human doesn’t even come close to what he is…

    1. @Karin Hiebert, you seem to strongly dislike harlan kilstein but yet you think kern is god’s gift to earth.

        1. @Karin Hiebert, hope you don’t get bitten by the scorpions you cozy and cuddle with…but then if you did, (when you do) or as you already may have….it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary.

          Don’t quite get how a self professed advocate of Survivors of sex abuse who is a survivor (such as yourself) can accept money and want to go into business from people who are best friends forever with pedophiles like Paulie Sabol and perverts like Harlan Kilstein who stand up for pedophiles and sex abusers.

          Doesn’t that make you just as filthy?

  3. What a tool. The Wizard of Oz, wasn’t really a wizard. He also didn’t have any magical powers either. It was just an old man behind a curtain pretending to be something that he wasn’t.

    Seems almost appropriate for the not Dr.

    1. @Rafael Marquez ::

      It’s like ::

      “What if your life could be like a farm full of animals where each was equal to the others :: and none was more equal. Where everything was in perfect harmony ….”

      Sounds awesome :: Sold!

    2. @Rafael Marquez,

      Says the not-Doctor:
      “Pay no attention to the hand (furiously working) below my robe…”

    1. @Wondering ::

      Enigma got nothing {of course} :: not even common courtesy. And things continue to suck for him :: thanks in no small part to Harlan Kilstein.

      Enigma you still out there??

  4. i was going to hire the doctor to copywrite something for this a good investment..does anybody know??

    1. @brett, do you care for coherent sentences, proper grammar and spelling, great verbosity, and a masterful command of the latter as you wish to appeal to your particular target audience?

      1. @froylein,

        YOU always crack me up!
        Hope all is well with you…always a pleasure reading your comments.

        1. @Karin Hiebert, why do you so freaking often post multiple, inane “asides?” The readers here don’t want to have to continually trip over your personal one on one self dialogs to get to the real content and commentary on this blog. (Froylein probably doesn’t want to engage either, but she’s tactful enough not to say it.)

          This isn’t KARIN’S BLOG. Like a spill on the floor, you tend to go in every damn direction and make everything sticky. Your barely conherent rambling and say-nothing verbosity is legend. Instead of polluting this forum with gibberish, why don’t you just pick up the phone and call your good, good friend Frank Kern and chat the day away? He’s probably standing by, not waiting for your call, but then again why should that matter, right?

          1. @gag-me-not, damb it. I wish I’d written this line –

            “Like a spill on the floor, you tend to go in every damn direction and make everything sticky.”

            Just so you know, I’ll probably steal it someday. I’ll add the words diarrhea and stinky so it’ll pass and you’ll never even know. Wordsmith-ing bastard.

            1. @spoonfaceboy, thanks, glad you liked it. It’s just something I pulled straight out of my ass, not unlike what Harlan Kilstein might do, except in this instance it makes a little sense, the spelling and grammar are correct, and I didn’t charge you $2,000 for it.

    2. @brett, You’re joking, right? You’ve got to be. Nobody could read what’s on this site, perform ANY due diligence, and ask such a question. Thanks for the laugh!

  5. Great video. He does a good job at making himself look bad.

    My personal favorite was that (uncoordinated, lack of confidence, lack of comfort in his own skin) waddle walk in the mall. But all that bumbling and pointless chit-chat was entertaining too.

    Ok Maria Andros, your turn. You gotsta represent the West Coast Beverly Hills in these video wars. Show your Florida mentor what the new breed is all about.

    Have a video of you picking a boogie outta your big nose and fling it at a Lexus and say “Honda Civics Rule”. That would show more confidence in yourself than Harlon showed in his video.

  6. I wonder how the copywriting community itself regards Mr. Kilstein’s work.

    From a skill standpoint, of course.

      1. @Phil,

        Thanks for the pointing in the right direction, Phil.

        I was curious, because I’ve spent some time this week reading more into copywriting as I’m interested in the skill, and as with anything, I’m more interested in spending my time on the more obscure uncovered diamonds, and less on the mainstream up-front hype masters with garbage content/value.

        It’s a good thing we as people do have an innate perceptive ability that adapts over time. It’s not hard to see by watching that youtube video of Harlan Kilstein in his “day as a copywriter” where he drives his lexus, goes to the beach to read a book, walks through malls, etc, that he was being very uncomfortable, fake, contrived, and other adjectives common of the low-talent scammers that give advertising a bad name.

        I’ll continue going through Gary Bencivenga material for my copywriting skill curiosity. I’m enjoying his stuff. A lot classier than Kilstein, that’s for sure.

    1. @hrm ::

      You can sum up Kilstein’s “skills” like this ::

      He takes other people’s work :: and makes it worse.

      Oh … and he screws over his copywriting clients … and chips away at their sanity … just like he does for his coaching clients.

    1. @James,

      This one is funny:

      Harlan Kilstein talks about not being manipulative. Look at points 2,3 & 4. He is using language to move you the reader into a relaxed and receptive state. Point 5 is a redirect (state change) to throw you off and set the embedded commands he just gave you in points 2-4.

      Then (not) Dr. Kilstein going into his “Don’t do it” routine. People will tell you the mind ignores the word “Don’t.” Here is an example, someone tells you “Don’t think of a pink elephant.” Now, what do you immediately think of?

      So when you re-read his “Don’t” blurbs, remove the “Don’t” and what are you left with? An embedded command to do what he just said not to do.

      In Dr. Harlan Kilstein’s words, “That’s manipulative stuff.” And he is using the exact technique on his readers that he just admonished them not to do.

      Nice, huh?

      1. @MazeMan,

        It’s such a conundrum when one studies things like NLP / Hypnosis / Persuasion & Influence.

        On one hand, they can be seen as tools to enhance people skills. They can help you to understand how to be more charismatic, and generally have a better life in the social world, help things flow more easy.

        On the other hand, one could say these are tools essentially used to enhance compliance with something that otherwise are naturally uncomfortable or unwanted.

        I suppose – at the end of the day – we need to be critical of the person that chooses to learn such skills, and their motives. Not the skills themselves. I’ve seen people who have strong interests in these topics as I do, who have vast knowledge, but they don’t come off as contrived, because they aren’t trying to push something on you that wouldn’t be good for you.

        The ones who do though – for personal gain, monetary, sexual, etc – have the potential to be some of the most evil and destructive people with such skills. Such potential to wreak emotional havoc with those the interact with.

        Any powerful ability can be used for good or evil. Nothing new, I suppose.

        1. @hrm,

          Persuasion skills need to be used carefully. I am NO expert, just studied them some. I’ve heard it described this way:

          Manipulation is getting someone to do what you want them to do. Example: Putting someone into a mortgage or selling them a car they cannot afford.

          Persuasion is helping someone to do something that is good for them. Example: Someone needs to see a doctor for a health problem and initally refuses to go. You persuade them to see the doctor.

          1. @MazeMan,

            Yeah. I see what you’re saying.

            It’s just that with the latter example of persuasion is when it’s “good”, is that it’s not always quite as cut and dry as the doctor example, and especially with how one persons good can be another persons bad.

            One person might say “I don’t want to see a doctor, because I believe this can be remedied naturally by improving my health and eliminating a lot of bad things from my life, before I resort to some doctor just throwing me on the endless chain of pills while he kicks me out the door saying “cha ching””, whereas the persuader might say “you’re wrong, doctors aren’t in it for the money, they don’t want to just throw you on pills, the pharmaceutical industry doesn’t encourage that, they genuinely have your best interest first”.

            Depending who you talk to, both could be right.

            I’ve seen a lot of people that have gone to doctors and been thrown on a bunch of pills, and ended up no better for it.

            Look at all of the kids that are fucked up because of the psychotropic drugs their parents put them on because schools encouraged it, or the parents just didn’t want to deal with their kids tantrums.

            Food for thought… “good”, is subjective, in many cases.

            1. @hrm,

              Thanks for your thoughts. I knew that subjectivity point could be raised. I wasn’t intending to deal with it my post, rather, wanted to distinguish between manipulation and persuasion.


            2. Ethics in communication are tricky and contextual. In general however, I recommend skepticism of those who would sell you the secrets of acquiring money, fame, power, and sex, or anyone disguising these things as “spiritual.” I’m not necessarily claiming that lower desires are non-spiritual or amoral, but those people who are totally focused on acquiring such outcomes tend to be highly corrupt and manipulative.

  7. These are some of Harlan Kilstein’s “sites.” I say “some,” because like cockroaches, they just seem to keep multiplying and multiplying, and coming at you from the darkest places…

      1. Good point. Does anybody have the link to Kilstein’s sex book site…the one where he talks about Christian blow jobs? I can’t recall the URL, but I definitely remember seeing it.

  8. That script. Wow. Just wow. What a cunning-neuro-linguist.

    Maybe it’s just me, but everything fat tits did in the video, from talking to walking to getting a boner over the Apples, seems to be in slow motion.

    And what’s with his voice and mealy-mouthed enunciation? He sounds like a gurgling castrato who just got a hot karl dripped into his pie hole might sound.

  9. is still not up and running nor making its owner “10K a month!”

    I hope the owner of the site wisened up, as I did, and bailed on that bleeding nonsense of Harlan’s.

    1. @gap,

      naaa….in the land of the internet and magical unicorns….your site doesn’t even have to be functional to make big money….the internet is a place where all mythical figures are created equal…and anyone with a finger (or text to speech software and very low blood pressure {if you used it you’ll understand, if you haven’t you’re in for a “treat”}) and an imagination….can create a magical unicorn filled…internet “reality”…of their dreams….

      Lets examine the grand LIfE of Oliver Turner….

      Turner started his illustrious unicorn reality making 5-10K a day mid March for Maria (without even having a functioning website…it was truly magical)….butt…shit happens…confusion sets in….and reverted to making 3-5K a day end of March for Schuitt….butt…have no fear….Turner…the magical unicorn rider soon mounted back up…and headed for the stars… his April video, he was on track to making 10 million (Math can even be magical on the internet).

      It’s really inspiring the suckcess Andros and Turner have typed out for themselves, the entrepervertial Unicorn is alive and well with them…

      The internet is full of magical unicorns and lepercons (nope…that isn’t spelt wrong), and the liFe of one’s dreams, is only one photoshop’ed picture and a picture away….

      If you can imagine it…you can be havin it….

      Unicorn power activate……
      In the form of Grandeur…..
      In the shape of internet reality…..

      In all seriousness. The following magical unicorn movie is a great alleGory of ‘internet marketers’….as to how I came across it….don’t ask…shun the non-believers…bahahaha…


  10. Hey Salty, I think you’ve helped a lot of his prospective copywriting clients make the correct decision. I mean, the video clearly shows that he has nothing to do. Not writing a single word of copy. Not at all busy. It’s like following around an unemployed guy and detailing the life of a starving copywriter in that video. Poor Not Doctor. I kinda feel sorry for him having all that time on his delusional hands. NOT.

    1. @TimeManager, Good point. For a self-proclaimed “slix figure copywriter,” Harlaoon sure appears to have a LOT of time on his hands. You can kind of imagine when his phone actually does ring, he probably gets all excited and starts jumping up and down. “Yahoo! I gots me a LEAD! I gots me a LEAD!”

  11. Flashback…the “famous” Harlan Kilstein shower scrubbing video (aka test in observational endurance). Anybody up for having him write some copy after watching this? Didn’t think so…


  12. How does Harlan justify charging $2,000 a month (or more!) for advice that doesn’t really help anyone build a solid business?

    He must feel like a real piece of shizzy at the end of the day.

    I kinda feel bad for him…even though he has alot of ill-found money.

    He’s a d-bag.

    1. @Mark, He doesn’t feel ‘shizzy’ at all. Where you see human beings, he sees dollar signs.

  13. Kilstein runs ads on google soliciting copywriting clients. Pretty bold claims, too:

    Look for his ad on the right column (“Overnight Copy”). You may have to click the search button a couple of times before it shows up.

    I hope the people who find him by that ad also do a background check before they fork over any money.

  14. I have come to the conclusion that the people that follow these guys like Harlen Kilstein, David Schirmer, Perry Belcher and the like are very egotistical people themselves. It appeals to a lack inside them. One of Schirmers mates repeats this comment which is pretty ironic when you think about it

    “The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.” Zig Ziglar

    Yet ALL of these people Salty metions completely lack INTEGRITY.

    1. @enoch,

      Yeah….but it’s more ironic when they say it themselves…oh look…an example…

      If you want to find love,you need to BE LOVE if you want respect,respect YOURSELF,if you want a great life BE someone w/INTEGRITY
      10:34 AM Feb 24th –

      or when they talk about being nothing without their “word”…yet use sales copy and testimoanials which are totally fraudulent….

      without your word… you’re nothing, honor yourself, others and your word I promise you it will change your life !
      10:45 AM Feb 24th –

      Being hit in the head with that kind of irony can cause a serious concussion.

      1. @_cartman_, You forgot one (non) tweet, “File DMCA claims about videos that don’t show you in your best lightbulb, I promise it will change your life!”

        1. @yep,

          hahahaha….yeah….and it’s kind of interesting that she found the truth so threatening that she felt the need to file a false DMCA….

          I wonder if I can file criminal harassment charges…Filing a false DMCA claim (and having my work taken down), interfered with my pursuit of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness….

          1. @_cartman_, yeah, that DMCA thing was really bogus. That video was entirely your own and the elements you used should easily constitute fair use. Besides being hysterically funny, it was ranking really well…helping to offset all her fake-o stuff. Hope to see it back up there soon!

    2. @enoch,

      “I have come to the conclusion that the people that follow these guys like Harlen Kilstein, David Schirmer, Perry Belcher and the like are very egotistical people themselves. It appeals to a lack inside them. One of Schirmers mates repeats this comment which is pretty ironic when you think about it”

      Yep. And there’s a diagnosis in there somewhere, too.

  15. To me, this is the main point:

    The script :: along with being totally fucking lame :: is an attempt to sell via emotional manipulation. It’s not about explaining services :: or god forbid … value :: it’s about getting some poor bastard into the proper emotional state to say “yes” to something that will later turn out to be less than useless.

    While salespeople should have some focus on getting the sale from interested customers, an exclusive focus on getting the sale by any means necessary almost always leads to manipulation, price gouging, and outright scamming. It’s also just bad business! Sales is tricky ethically, as it brings out the worst temptations and greed in us, but the selfish salesman doesn’t have any concern for such questions of ethics.

    1. @Duff,

      If it were bad business, no one would do it. Ever.

      Problem is, it can be very good business. Shillstein and the rest are the failures – the chumps who make it look like fail.

      In the hands of a master, people don’t even realise they’re being scammed.

      Death Ray was in that class of ohsoveryinspirational successes until recently. You’re telling me that 40 people paying $10k a head for a weekend of new wage fluff and theatre – which, incidentally, killed some of them this time – doesn’t count as a business success?

      Of course it’s ethically revolting to anyone with a conscience, which is why so few people do it.

      But as a business model, it’s not ineffective at all for the crazies who do.

      And it’s not limited to New Wagery. Most of Wall St, and not a little politics, runs off scamola and manipulation.

      Ray and Shillstein are the small fry. They’re not even serious players in this game.

      1. @Hobbes,

        Too true. The galling thing about this (emotional manipulation and scamming) is not that it doesn’t work, but that it works all too well in the short term. By the time the mark (and I include all of us as we are all vulnerable, being human) figures out the scam, if they ever do, the scammer has long since scarpered with the goods.

        The persuasion/manipulation tactics in use are the self-same ones used by cult leaders to entrance and con their followers. Anyone wishing to educate themselves (the only real defence against this con) could do worse than read some of the resources on this site:

        BTW, by vulnerable I mean anyone at all who is looking for anything in life, more money, fame, status, security, spiritual answers, you name it– there’s a conman out there constructing a scam just for you.

  16. I actually tried to use this exact script about 2-3 years ago. (Don’t worry I never paid a DIME to Harlan in any way shape or form… and I never will).

    When I started trying to get the lady to feel bad on the phone, she kind of got mad at me. (Yes, Harlan wants you to dig through their failures and terrible emotions associated with failed projects and not having enough money to eat! That’s how he taught the stuff and I was naive/smart enough to listen to him and give it a try!!!)

    Once that woman got mad (AT me, not WITH me) I thought to myself “Wow, this is pretty ridiculous” and never used it nor looked at it again.

    It’s much easier to manipulate people with positive emotions… for me anyway.

    But you better believe I’m delivering on my promises.

    1. @Mark, Kilstein didn’t create this. He ripped it off from SPIN selling. Second, some of the top companies in the world use this to sell really expensive stuff – think mainframe computers, expensive systems, robotics – not cheapo copy shit. Third, I found this form on a torrent site and downloaded it years ago. If you know what you are doing, the SPIN system is fucking brilliant. All Kilstein did was plug in the copy shit. The rest is ALL SPIN. Yet another Kilstein rip off.

  17. That video of not doctor harlan kilstein is pathetic! Does he not realize how ridiculous he looks? He comes off as such an obvious phony. The only people who would be taken in by not doctor harlan kilstein and his sham $2,000 a month coaching program are the ignorant or desperate.

    A few years ago I had a run in with not doctor kilstein and he is horribly arrogant. And that’s on top of being incompetent. In doing so research over the years I see how immature, childish and nasty harlan kilstein gets if he feels someone has crossed or criticized him.

    What goes around comes around, and what this clown harlan kilstein does not realize is he will not last in copywriting, internet marketing or coaching. He sends out way too much negative energy and is developing a terrible reputation.

    1. @Harlan Clownstein, but that’s not the worst of it. Many people have stopped taking the big clowns serious and have lost respect for them, because of their association with Kilstein. Having Kilstein on your list of pals is a definite career killer.

      John Carlton is a prime example. All of his expert advice on copy and marketing, but the guy is too stupid to cut all ties with Kilstein. Avoiding Kilstein like the plague would seem to be a self-evident tactic to stop “hidden profit leaks” in his business.

      1. @Harlot Shitstein, You are exactly right. When I see someone giving Kilstein a plug on their blog, or having him ramble at their seminar, that person immediately loses all credibility in my eyes.

        Too bad about Carlton. Maybe there is some really odd reason why Carlton is willing to take all the heat from goosing Kilstein like that in public. But for the life of me, I can’t imagine what it might be.

        Even people with far less experience than Carlton have figured out that associating with Harlan Kilstein is like CHOOSING to have a curse put on you. It makes no sense.

  18. SD, when are you going to investigate the Chet Holmes scam? There is something going on here that you should look in to. If you go to Google ‘Chet Holmes’, the very first result is ‘Chet Holmes Scam’ even before just his name! He’s clearly rubbed a lot of customers the wrong way.

  19. Hi It’s Harlan Your fat friend.
    I can’t wait to steal your money and lot of it. Excuse me now I must go and steal gold fillings from corpses.
    Buy my stuff its real Shit

  20. slowly crawling towards the present day…

    I’ve covered a year and a half in about two days. How much time have you covered?

    A day?

    That’s nothing. I eat days for breakfast.

    back to crawling {and you can too!}…

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