Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

The Belching Button


Current post on the ever uninformative = {The Belcher Button} ::

The Jowl Button also requires its own domain {} ::

And what the fuck … how bouts a few tweets ::

small but fatEvil Jowls: The Belcher Button Explained in Video {Digg Link} <– Why it’s FREE and Why it Works So Well

Evil Jowls: Using The Belcher Button? –> Promote your site here {Digg Link} Add your link in a comment and I’ll approve it now!

The Belcher Button {OMG it’s Free!} :: It’s just “another” way that Evil Jowls is giving back to the society which he heretofore had only Sacked & Plundered.

If you haven’t heard of The B.B. then it’s highly likely :: Your marriage is failing :: You’re living a goddamn lie :: Your life is going NOWHERE! :: You don’t even want success.

But if you’re one of the {hypothetically} successful winners then you know ::

“This is by far the most tested buy button in internet history. I have used it on hundreds of sites in dozens of markets with great results.

Split tests show close rates increased by 35 to 320% over ANY other buy button I have ever used. Every element of the button has been tested individually in over 10,000 closed transactions.”

Exactly! Evil Jowls has collected and analyzed the data :: and EVERY DETAIL of this button has been market maximized {applause}. I know what you’re thinking ::

“Geezo Droid, there sure are a lot of different variables at play here. The sampling would need to be highly sophisticated to prove meaningful, and the regression analysis would be complex … at best.”

Holy Crap … U R Smart! And Also –> Agreed. The regressions would be NO FUCKING JOKE {Regressions: I Dare You} :: But I’m sure Perry is qualified … after all, he has a GED and he’s already cured infertility.

Here are some conclusions from this monumental Button research ::

  • Use a red hashed outline

  • Use navy blue text on the buy button

  • Outline the button with red

  • Add a kick-ass bear {warning :: bear not split-tested}

cough Oh and btw … if you wouldn’t mind clicking on the link below the FreeButton Video and signing up for … an amazing opportunity to get EVEN more Perry Belcher split-tests for the low-low {once-a-month} price of $97 … now ‘til forever.

The Droid almost signed up for 43 Split Tests :: But something held me back. Something about the “buy area” just felt wrong to me. The border was black :: The button text wasn’t Navy Blue … No glowing RED outline around the buy button :: THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY!!

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Introducing The Belcher Button – Droid Remix

If you are Tweeter :: Click on the button to send Evil Jowls a hand-crafted message on Twitter. He’d appreciate it :: All publicity is good publicity!

Button Remix

{You will still need to push send :: So you’ll have a chance to chicken out or make changes}

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