Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

Six Degrees of Deepak Chopra

CNN talks with** Melinda Martin** :: a “high level” .. “senior” :: employee at James Ray International. Except not really … because The Droid has not spent a single moment plotting her inglorious doom … so she can’t be that high a level. Anyone “high level” currently has their ass on the line in a triple homicide investigation :: and they ain’t gonna be gonna talking to CNN any time soon. Maybe a reality show …

Fall Guy :: See which stupid duped sheep waits too long to speak with authorities and ends up taking the fall while James Ray drives off into the sunset .. thumb rings and ho harem in tow. {maybe it needs a shorter tag line}

… this Fall on ABC.

Melinda was at {but not in} the death lodge. The scene she describes doesn’t sound like it contains that many selfs self-helping themselves. Bodies :: Screams :: and Helicopters. James Arthur Ray :: “High Five you guys! Wouldn’t you sooo love a burrito right now? Oh I’m sorry you seem to be dead … maybe another time then.”

James Ray International is still not speaking to reporters but they did tell CNN: “Listen … there was a fucking hose available … what more did you expect?” {paraphrased}

Melinda was also at the Creating Absolute Wealth {comes with a side of death} seminar this July. She says she asked James Ray about Colleen Conaway on Sunday morning and was told :: quote :: “Step off bitch! Colleen is fine. Ask any more questions and you’re going to be put in time out.” {Melinda :: call me! :: I think we know each other from high school … we both played girls volleyball … I was the robot.}

Whenever Anderson Cooper is dropping a big fat 360 on this story :: he makes sure to throw out the word “unregulated” :: then we can be all like {in Dave Chappelle’s stuffy white dude voice}: “We really should regulate this stuff. It’s utter nonsense I tell you! Nonsense!!” :: and then we can be all like: “Ahh … it really feels good to say something should be done. I’m a meaningful person who does meaningful things … hear me meow.”

Tell you what CNN :: lets leave the complex discussion about the utility of self-help regulation where it belongs :: on PBS. Maybe CNN should just worry about regulating CNN. I recall it being one of the many “news” networks that allowed vicious disgusting con artist James Arthur Ray to make unpaid {in an ethical world} promotional appearances that served to both create and exploit his fake fame.

Inexplicably :: immediately after the first story CNN ran about Colleen :: they aired a segment with Deepak Chopra talking about James Ray. The segment about how overpriced :: “unregulated” :: self-help is killing people begins with the promotion of his self-help book … which is a feeder for the The Chopra Center {because enlightenment begins with naming shit after yourself}. Rush to that website now and Harness the Power of Coincidence for just $4,000 :: Hopefully coincidence will still be able to pay your credit card bill when the bank jacks up the rate to 32%.

Chopra opens by saying he’s never even heard of James Ray. Bullshit! How is that possible? The Chopra Center is in Carlsbad California :: just two measly fucking miles from the headquarters of James Ray International. They are in the same business. Mr. Chopra recently made an appearance on The Salty Droid 360 as well. He was the guest speaker at the “African Thanksgiving” Internet Marketing fundraiser held at the home of one of the other The Secret losers. Supreme bad guy Andy Jenkins is holding up a signed copy of DipShit Chopra’s book when he strikes his messiah pose.

An article from the April 2008 edition of Fortune {ironically hosted on cnn.com} refers to Chopra in the headline of an article about James Ray …

The man who would be Robbins, Covey, and Chopra

… I guess Chopra doesn’t have time to read all of the articles that mention him and his “industry” in big national publications … whatevs!

The Fortune article is fucking fantastic! Richard Siklos was checking into Ray before the bodies hit the floor :: so he actually had some access. Everyone interested in the Death Ray situation should read the article :: but here’s the best bits on a list …

1) They answer the phone :: “It’s an outstanding day at James Ray International.” :: Well isn’t that special? I wonder if they still do it :: just for tradition. “It’s a terrific day to be indicted on a multi count felony.”

2) Harmonic Wealth was published by Hyperion :: a Walt Disney company. Ray’s Mickey Mouse editor Brenda Copeland describes the turd stupid uneducated former telemarketer like this …

“[James is] a cross between the inspirational author Eckhart Tolle and Ben Franklin, with a dollop of Elvis and an old-timey revivalist. Among the living, however, the goal is to make Ray as big a household name as Tony Robbins. “With all due respect to Tony Robbins, I think his cycle has come and gone, so you have to look for the next person,” says Copeland. “I really see James as the person for this year and hopefully for many years to come - he’s really, really close.”

Horah! You did it. You made something out of nothing … how did that work out?

3) In addition to appearing multiple times on Larry King Live {a nightly show on unregulated CNN} :: James Arthur Ray was signed by Larry King’s agent at the William Morris agency. That’s “news” you can depend on.

4) Membership in the World Wealth Society is $60,000 :: PER mother fucking YEAR!!

5) One of Ray’s few listed accomplishments is being AT&T’s “No. 1 producer year after year.” AT&T wasn’t so sure about that :: “It’s very possible he was No. 1 in the Atlanta region.” Impressive! That’s the most important region in all of Georgia.

6) Ray worked for four years with Stephen Covey :: except :: “Debra Lund, the spokeswoman for Covey, said no one at the company has any recollection of Ray.”

end list :: take us out Richard Siklos …

“Before breaking for the night at 1:16 a.m., Ray climbs down from the stage, has everyone in the conference center join hands, and leads a feel-good chorus of Elton John’s “The Circle of Life.” He exits out a back door into the rainy Texas night, one of the bodyguards holding an umbrella over him.”

… and merry Christmas to all .. and to all a good night.

>> bleep bloop

comments