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A few years ago NBC was all about dry humping James Arthur Ray. They :: and their lazy affiliates :: brought him on multiple times as an “expert” on finance :: or success :: or whatever the fuck.

“Oh James! You’re so steroid & fake tan adorable. Love me! Tell us all about the success of being an Oprah guest. Your book has the word wealth in the title :: what’s it like to have infinite wealth :: success :: and happiness? I think the viewers would love to know. Oh what’s that you say? You give free seminars? Super duper super duper! The good people of Minneapolis should get out and take advantage of that.”

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Is how I started a fake robot post 15 months ago about Dateline’s not-so-good Death Ray special … Deadly Retreat.

Tonight Dateline ran a two-hour Death Ray special called … wait for it … Deadly Retreat. It was basically a repeat of the first show … plus trial footage. I guess that’s how you do investigative reportering … recycling originally unoriginal works. I wish I had known it was that easy! Fuck I’ve been wasting a lot of time … that’s why it pays to model the pros.

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Gag!  I guess they are too busy “to catching” predators to notice that they are FUCKING PROMOTING predators.

Partially owing to their negligent programing :: some much-loved human beings lost their lives.  How about an NBC mea culpa?  How about an NBC reality check? Nah.  TWENTY-FOUR long months later :: we get a story that cashes in on the drama of it all.

Horah! You did it NBC! {massive fake applause!} Keep up the great work. God save The Fourth Estate!

The story lasted two hours :: and it was interestingish. But considering the amount of time that has passed :: and the direct culpability of NBC in building up Death Ray’s fake celebrity :: I say this story was garbage.

1.  What about Colleen Conaway?  Not even worth a mention that Colleen died at one of this dipshit’s other seminars just three months prior to the DeathLodge?  Hey NBC :: don’t you watch television?

2.  Death Ray won’t talk to Dateline :: obviously.  He refuses to answer for himself.  So “his side” of the story is represented by the lame ass arguments made by his lawyers.  Why? They weren’t intended to be public statements :: and they don’t pass the laugh test. Quoting from them now is ridiculous.  If he has no comment :: then he should get no fucking comment.

3.  So shallow.  They present this story like it’s a shark attack.  A human drama :: lives lost :: heroes :: villains :: survivors :: carnage.  It speaks to the shock and the horror :: but to none of the wider societal or circumstantial factors that made this tragic event possible.  This wasn’t some random freak event :: it was the calamity at the end of a long and pathetic road. Just gawking at the accident site itself is not going to move us forward :: and it’s not going protect future victims.

Anywayz :: NBC :: not impressed.

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Yeah that felt good :: easy breezy!

Recycling is awesome :: and it leaves way more time for having affairs with local NBC news anchors … and Vegas strippers {natch!}.

Now just mix in some trial footage :: Debbie prefers Debbie …

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The State made their case …

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And then Rhonda Byrne’s attorneys made their case …

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But they lost because The Law of Attraction is fake …

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Cue some dramatics …

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BOOM!  Look mom … I can do nothing just like a real tv reporter.

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>> bleep bloop
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