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Salty Droid

Modeling for Mike

January has been a busy month for the Vicious Garden Gnome Mike Filsaime. First he had his big {/little} Internet Marketing Cruise :: For Pedophiles .. By Pedophiles :: which went over like pancakes dipped in shit. In the rumors I’m starting … the whole thing was a money losing disaster of paranoia and uncomfortable sex. Loneliness in numbers :: yours for the low low price of EVERYTHING.

But now it’s time to party like it’s 1899!

:: Affiliate Appreciation Weekend ::

Explain it to us Gnome …

“I am spending about $100,000 on a day BASH - Something like this has never been seen in our industry EVER!

Make sure to read all the ANNOUNCEMENTS in this forum.

I am treating my affiliates that support me.

We are piggy backing off of AffiliateSumiit (Tue/Wed/Thu) and we know many people will be extending their stay …

Who will not be there (The non cool people)
Who WILL be there (The cool people)

How do you know if you are not cool? A. You won’t be there and you will see the TWITPICS and relaize why your life sucks.

How do you know you are cool? A. You are there and you say shit like “Life is great. This is the best weekend of my life. I made great connections that will make me Millions! Drink up Bitch etc…”

Oh… Many people are coming DAYS early and many are staying Days later. It is up to you. The shindig is FRI/SAT.

I’ll be covering things like drinks etc. You know… I’ll hand out a couple of COUPONS you use from drinks. After coupons run out.. we all pay for our drinks.

At the VIP bash.. I pay for 3 bottles at each table and a Champagne. (And the Models) - Once they are gone, some drunk happy person per table will pick it up from there ;)

Soooo… That is it Yo!”

St8 off Gnome :: NEVER say “Yo” again!! What’s with all you GrandPa’s?? Some people can do it :: and some people can’t. Mother fuckers like you :: and Not-Doctor Kilstein :: do us all … and the very language itself … a HORRIBLE disservice. You can’t do it! It wasn’t meant for you or your Ford Explorer selling bald fucking head {you should be thanking me for putting that little hat on you and covering up your shame … you’re welcome!}.

Second :: {all caps} COUPONS for drinks? Nice touch … coupons are super-fly-max-dope … plus they’re also the bomb. I know whenever I’m hangin’ out with my boyz I’m all like: “Yo T.J.!! Did you bring the coupons?”

Third :: What’s this about models? Cause that sounds pretty stupid …

“Yes the Rumors are true.

I am working with a top Las Vegas VIP host for this VIP night on Saturday.

We are hiring 50 (Yes Fifty) of the hottest models to be part of the VIP night at on of the Hottest Clubs In Las Vegas… On a Saturday Night.

Who are they. Most of them are College girls that do modeling for events in Las Vegas. Many are bartenders, VIP Waitresses, and Poolside Bikini BlackJack Dealers etc…

They are there to have fun just like you.

Why are we doing this.

Well, frankly… do I need to say?

Having 200 guys in a VIP section in a club with maybe 7 women is not fun for the other women. And the “SGE Factory” is not fun for the guys.

Plus, we will look luck a bunch of AssWipes if we look all BALLA nd have no women.

You can thank me in Person

Mike Filsaime”

Thank You Mike Filsaime :: Thank you.

A list of the attendees ::

Andrew X
Keith Baxter
Jerry Belcourt
Big Jason
Joel Comm
Brent Coppieters
Ron Douglas
Dr. Steve & Joyce
Captain Lou Edwards
Brad Fallon
Harris Fellman
Donna Fox
Clay Franklin
Norman Freeman
Rob Gallo
Ross Goldberg
Tom Ham
Matt Haslem
Glen Hopkins
Jason James
Alex Jeffreys
Andy Jenkins
Brian Johnson
Jeff Johnson
Dan Kelly
Sam Knoll
Brian Koz
Ray La Foy
Simon Leung
Brad Lindsey
Eric Louviere
Adam Lowe
Nick Marks
Jonathan Mizel
Jason Moffatt
Jeff Mulligan
Lon Naylor
John Reese
Eric Rockefeller
Howie Schartz
Rich Schefren
Erik Stafford
Mike Steup
Joel Therien
Liz Tomey
Sterling Valentine
Jeff Walker
Jon Walker
Tim Warren
Keith Wellman
Mike Wesely

Hmmm …. that is a-lot-a dicks. I wonder why there aren’t any ladies among the “RockStars” of Internet Marketing? It’s odd because there are LOTS of ladies buying these priced-4-kings info products about making it to the top … but they sure don’t seem to matriculate. If you look too hard :: for too long :: it might start to look like a bunch of 25 - 45 year old males exploiting a bunch of vulnerable 45 - 65 year old ladies. People’s Moms :: and Aunts :: and Sisters. People’s fucking families. Yeah but whatever right? Money is Money :: Yo!

Jason Moffatt will be there ::

“I’ll be there and making a promise that I won’t call Craigslist call girls if the hotel lobby runs dry. I promise.”

Highlarious! You know … because you can pay sad chicks for sex just like you can pay them to stand around at your parties pretending to have a good time. And it’s a fun thing to talk about … in a “professional” setting especially. The ladies don’t mind … oh wait … what ladies?

Enjoy your party dicks :: think of it as a classless wake.

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