Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs got all butthurt {cruel pun intended} about that time I embarrassed him in front of his big toothed boyfriend Tony Robbins?
Yeah :: too easy … those were the best of times. But such direct confrontations are a rarity … prolly because people are very intimidated by all the beeping. It’s too bad :: cause when the story tells …

Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?
Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?
Shirly those two questions are equivalents?
Was that last question a question?
Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose mission is all about smearing turds all around everywhere turd style … is pretty sure you need this sex tape in your life.

“We watch this footage because it’s something we’re not …

Mike Koenigs is a fucking disease :: so it’s kinda confusing that he has a disease … I guess even parasites can get cancer. Disease fight!
Says Mike in a super classy sales email …

“It’s the most significant public admission I’ve ever made.
It revolves around “The C Word”.
Yup, you guessed it.
Cancer.”

Did I guess cancer? I didn’t even know we were guessing … and then you blurted the answer before I got done thinking about what was revolving around “The C Word” … maybe “The D Word”? Also :: that’s not technically an “admission” …

Brain poisoning manipulator Jeff Walker is product launching his Product Launch Formula for the fifty-thousandth time :: but this time it’s different … because this time the all new PLF is thrice dipped in shit. That’s more than twice the previous once!
… and you can too!
You can read Syndicate member :: and obvious scammer … Jeff Walker’s sales page for PLF.3.ShitDip over on Forbes …

Yes — it’s a new day when a common man barely earning enough to scrape by and feed his family can leverage the Internet into an empire responsible for $400 …

People got burned at a Tony Robbins event :: it’s true of every Tony Robbins event … but this time some meat space flesh was involved … so I guess that makes it an official media story.
21 people treated for burns after firewalk at Tony Robbins appearance :: reported the San Jose Mercury News after the locally held event …

At least 21 people were treated for burn injuries after taking part in the crowning event of the first day of a Tony Robbins function downtown, including at least three who went …

The first confesstimonial was a big hit :: and in a more interesting than usual comment stream … it spawned the second confesstimonial. Once your blog posts start producing progeny :: you can retire to the beach to live the tanned twinkie lifestyle … fact.
The video is The Vergecast from the morning the Scamworld article printed. It’s pretty funny to listen to real Internet experts laughing about fake Internet experts :: and then Danny Sullivan calls in to ruin my laughter … but I’ve let go of that anger now because …

I didn’t write this post :: but I made up the word “confesstimonial” {because making up words is my long tail SEO strategy} … so 100% of the internet monies from this post will go to me {or maybe to Arianna Huffington}. I plan to invest most of those monies in silver … so that’s just stacking wins on top of wins for me right there.
Confesstimonials are first hand accounts from people with direct personal knowledge of these terrible situations. They’d like to speak out and litter the internets with …

Remember that time when I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch?
Boom!
Pow!
Smack!
Slam!
Whamo!
Okay :: yeah … it’s happened a lot. I like to do things that are easy :: it makes me feel good about myself … like pictures in ridiculous hats.

{start over}
Remember all those times I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch {BLB}?
You fucking better … we were just talking about it. Why can’t you remember important shit that we were just talking about? You were never like that before.  Are you taking those danged dirty drugs? …

Crystal Cox isn’t in the porno business :: allegedly/hopefully :: even though she clearly has a porno name. Crystal PornoName is an “investigative blogger” :: a title that only a very serious person would grant unto herself.
Crystal was sued by some mean lawyers for defaming some other mean lawyers and a Federal judge ruled that …

she wasn’t a journalist so shield and retraction laws don’t apply
she couldn’t Anti-SLAPP him
the mean lawyer wasn’t a public figure under NYT v. Sullivan or a limited public figure under Gertz
the matter :: a big …

Not being an ass :: but Dean Graziosi sells better on camera than pretty much anyone on the planet right now … says asshole Dean Graziosi about himself … the loathsome and pathetic Dean Graziosi.
Better than anyone on the whole fucking planet! That’s how epic Dean is at the on camera selling. Planetary epic! If he does say so himself … not to be immodest or anything … but he’s the fucking best.
Sometimes though :: like maybe once in awhile :: or always :: he needs to use a couple boiler rooms …