Mike Koenigs

The Crystallization Method

Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs got all butthurt {cruel pun intended} about that time I embarrassed him in front of his big toothed boyfriend Tony Robbins?
Yeah :: too easy … those were […]

Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Prequel

Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?

Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?

Shirly those two questions are equivalents?

Was that last question a question?

Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose […]

AssStorm Marketing Machines

Mike Koenigs is a fucking disease :: so it’s kinda confusing that he has a disease … I guess even parasites can get cancer. Disease fight!

Says Mike in a super classy sales email …

“It’s the most significant public admission I’ve ever made.
It revolves around “The C Word”.
Yup, you guessed it.
Cancer.”

Did I guess cancer? I didn’t even know we were […]

In the News

Brain poisoning manipulator Jeff Walker is product launching his Product Launch Formula for the fifty-thousandth time :: but this time it’s different … because this time the all new PLF is thrice dipped in shit. That’s more than twice the previous once!

… and you can too!

You can read Syndicate member :: and obvious scammer … Jeff Walker’s sales page for PLF.3.ShitDip over […]

Footprints on the Fire

People got burned at a Tony Robbins event :: it’s true of every Tony Robbins event … but this time some meat space flesh was involved … so I guess that makes it an official media story.

21 people treated for burns after firewalk at Tony Robbins appearance :: reported the San Jose Mercury News after the locally held event …

At […]

Confesstimonial :: Lawyers in Scamworld

The first confesstimonial was a big hit :: and in a more interesting than usual comment stream … it spawned the second confesstimonial. Once your blog posts start producing progeny :: you can retire to the beach to live the tanned twinkie lifestyle … fact.

The video is The Vergecast from the morning the Scamworld article printed. It’s pretty funny to […]

Confesstimonial :: Mike Koenigs Instant Enemies

I didn’t write this post :: but I made up the word “confesstimonial” {because making up words is my long tail SEO strategy} … so 100% of the internet monies from this post will go to me {or maybe to Arianna Huffington}. I plan to invest most of those monies in silver … so that’s just stacking wins on […]

The Beauty of Everyone’s Voice

Remember that time when I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch?

Boom!

Pow!

Smack!

Slam!

Whamo!

Okay :: yeah … it’s happened a lot. I like to do things that are easy :: it makes me feel good about myself … like pictures in ridiculous hats.

{start over}

Remember all those times I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch {BLB}?

You fucking better … […]

Crystal Cox :: iS nOt a BLOgGER

Crystal Cox isn’t in the porno business :: allegedly/hopefully :: even though she clearly has a porno name. Crystal PornoName is an “investigative blogger” :: a title that only a very serious person would grant unto herself.

Crystal was sued by some mean lawyers for defaming some other mean lawyers and a Federal judge ruled that …

she wasn’t a journalist […]

Bottom Rocking the Planet

Not being an ass :: but Dean Graziosi sells better on camera than pretty much anyone on the planet right now … says asshole Dean Graziosi about himself … the loathsome and pathetic Dean Graziosi.

Better than anyone on the whole fucking planet! That’s how epic Dean is at the on camera selling. Planetary epic! If he does say so […]