Maria Andros Phone Tags Matt Harward

The break up of Kim and Sandy was sad for everyone :: especially my fake secretary Debbie who has a soft spot for relationships based on androgynous lesbianism.

But good news :: it’s decorative gourd season motherfuckers :: and that means love is in the air{waves}.

Matt Harward’s iPhone has pretty much the lamest outgoing voice message ever recorded.

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Matt Harward’s Fifteen Minutes

Matt Harward is turning forty-one this month.

Stunner right?

I know.

I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself … … … okay.

Allegedly :: according to Matt’s mother :: he has one of these birthdays each year.  He takes them all quite seriously because :: while he’s continued to age :: he’s failed to mature.  According to Matt …

“For my 30th birthday I sold my software company and walked away a millionaire.”

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