I Love Being A Mom

Facebook knows you’re a smart, single, gay, black, Republican woman with divorced parents and a drinking problem. But maybe you don’t want every evil corporation and shadow political org to know what an unlikely unicorn you are?

Tough. Too late. Facebook is so sorry - not sorry - about that.

The aggregate of your online behavior can be used to create an eerily accurate profile of your personhood. That profile can be sold, exploited, and analyzed without your consent or knowledge.

The chart is from a 2013 paper published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

We show that a wide variety of people’s personal attributes, ranging from sexual orientation to intelligence, can be automatically and accurately inferred using their Facebook Likes.

It’s very scary, and serious, so please don’t get distracted by how fun this next bit is …

For example, the best predictors of high intelligence include “Thunderstorms,” “The Colbert Report,” “Science,” and “Curly Fries,” whereas low intelligence was indicated by “Sephora,” “I Love Being A Mom,” “Harley Davidson,” and “Lady Antebellum.”

You can’t argue with science and curly fries. But of course, the highest marker of intelligence and sophistication is not being on Facebook in the first place.