• Pershing-Square-Club-100

  • Shurtleff-Swallow-Utah-Mugshot-MLM

{ featuring }

The Most Important Post of My Career

By |July 24th, 2014|

Financial journalists judge the importance/relevance of a given piece of news or information based on the stock market’s reaction to its revelation. Reporters who move stock prices are rewarded :: those who don’t … aren’t. It’s dumb :: and […]

Mark Shurtleff :: Orange is the New Green

By |July 20th, 2014|

Two former attorneys general of the scam state of Utah :: Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow … have just been arrested.

Wow :: OMFG … that felt so good to say. I wanna do it again!

Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow […]

The Doxing of Michelle Celarier

By |June 3rd, 2014|

NYPost reporter Michelle Celarier has always been my biggest fan :: she told me so herself … right before she accused me of attempting to blackmail her. She’s fun like that.

Michelle has written dozens of short :: obsequiously pro-Ackman […]

The Beginning and the End

By |May 29th, 2014|

Remember when the fake robot was born on the Twitters … and then got almost immediately banished for calling out the Twitter scam of a recently convicted computer crimes felon?

No? … me neither really.
#ancienthistory
I came back later with a […]

You’re Not Retarded

By |May 22nd, 2014|

That coach lady from Glee doesn’t want me saying retarded anymore … gettin’ all up in my fucking business about it.

I’ll say what I want! Take your track suit tyranny and tread on someone else’s liberties lady.

But then again […]

My Herbalife Job Interview

By |May 6th, 2014|

I seriously need a new job. Nothing too fancy or anything :: just something that pays better than my current salary of less-than-nothing-plus-death-threats-and-torments-and-lawsuits-and-droolers. Shouldn’t be too hard to beat.

The minimum wage in Ohio {my new home base} is $7.95 […]

Conspiracy to Destroy

By |April 3rd, 2014|

After a lifetime of epic grift :: serial huckster Kevin Trudeau is finally in jail … rotting like he always was. KT got ten years for failing to comply with some government paperworks he signed ten years ago as […]

The Burton Family Affairs

By |February 5th, 2014|

It’s clear how Michael Burton’s faux career at scam company Herbalife is going to end :: fucking disastrously … and with no possible excuses.

“But how did his career begin?” … asks a giraffe standing on a turtle.

Well :: inquisitive giraffe […]

The Burton Affairs

By |January 28th, 2014|

Herbalife show piece :: and puffy-old-ass-white-guy :: Michael Burton … is … magnificently :: colossally :: stratospherically :: hyperbolic-adverbially … bankrupt. Bankrupt enough :: in fact … to be ten average American bankruptcies all by his gross muscly lonesome.

It’s […]

Herbalife’s Bankruptcy Business

By |January 17th, 2014|

“I LOVE HERBALIFE …”
… is what Herbalife President’s Team member Michael Burton said to me :: unconvincingly … this past fall when I was fake robotic questioning him about his various scum sucking.

“I will be sharing the great health […]

On Six

By |January 10th, 2014|

2013 sucked it :: like … hardcore.

“This can’t be fucking happening” … is how I’d sum up the year in fake robotic sentiment. Not exactly a fresh sentiment around here I know :: but it’s deeper now … darker […]

The Godfather of Herbalife

By |December 6th, 2013|

And now introducing John Tartol :: seen here posers posing with some of his vile TartolSpawn Jrs … the pic {mostly} unaltered. He’s “the godfather of Herbalife” … … get it? … … it’s not funny :: because it’s […]

The Auditioning

By |November 27th, 2013|

At least four dead people later … James Arthur Ray is back on CNN.

And he’s :: like … all sorry and stuff. How else is one to interpret the dye and highlight job?

{tear-ducts-activate}

It’s the greatest pain I can imagine, […]

Vemma Con

By |October 17th, 2013|

“Raise your hand if you’ve spent your last dollars to get here today” … says one of the young Vemma Leadership Academy speakers as he paces the stage like an #MLMtweeker on the fiend. About half of the 3500 […]

{ the big ones }

  • Empower Network :: Revenge of the Wussies

Empower Network :: Revenge of the Wussies

In the world according to {dumbass} David Wood :: there are only two types of people out there … badasses and wussies.

Badasses go “all in” by pumping $6000 into Dave Wood’s bare naked pyramid […]

  • Ed Dale’s Bankruptcy Challenge

Ed Dale’s Bankruptcy Challenge

Ed Dale is the Underachiever {dot com} :: or if you prefer … he’s the Tubby Nerd. Both of his nom de plumes attempt at conspicuous self-deprecation :: but end up as self-aggrandizement … due to the pathetic condition […]

  • The Crystallization Method

The Crystallization Method

Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs […]

  • Darker than the DarkSide

Darker than the DarkSide

Dr. Leonard Coldwell is not a doctor :: he’s not a Leonard Coldwell even … he’s NotDoctor Bernd Klein … the pervy little disgrace of Germany. Bernd’s mother Gerda :: knowing immediately what rot […]

  • Elevation Prophets

Elevation Prophets

Mike Dillard is always the shortest “man” in the room :: which is why he’s going miss his hair more than other early aging narcissistic wind bags {quite an accomplishment}  … you can’t hide […]

  • Syndicates on The Verge

Syndicates on The Verge

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?

Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and […]

  • PZ Myers :: GasBag Bigotry

PZ Myers :: GasBag Bigotry

PZ Myers is an evil fucking scumbag.

Maybe not actually. That’s a bit too exciting.

Redundant dirtbag :: or derivative {saggy} dickbag … are probably both more accurate.

The Internets tell me that PZ Myers is an “outspoken atheist” :: […]

  • Spider Shit Storm

Spider Shit Storm

Dave Navarro and Naomi Dunford are having an affair … they’re shagging … they both betrayed their families for a bunch of shagging …

… or something.

I guess :: that’s what everyone tells me … […]

  • Scamming Two Debbies

Scamming Two Debbies

My fake secretary Debbie is quite susceptible to scams.

D-bags often call headquarters looking for an opportunity to suck-up to me and my divine stylings in authorship :: but I usually can’t take their calls {because fucking idiots are […]

  • James Arthur Ray Trial Updates

James Arthur Ray Trial Updates

In October of 2009 :: James Arthur Ray’s $10,000 per head Spiritual Warrior seminar ended in calamity and tragedy. Three people were killed :: eighteen injured {many seriously} :: and thousands of followers were shocked […]

  • Secret Millionaire Secrets Revealed

Secret Millionaire Secrets Revealed

James Malinchak has a millionaire’s smile :: literally :: if smile values were calculated based on awkward surface area … which they are not.  So I guess he doesn’t have a millionaire’s smile so much as a fucked-up-reject […]

  • Who Killed Colleen Conaway? :: Part 2

Who Killed Colleen Conaway? :: Part 2

Who killed Colleen Conaway?

It’s been more than a year and a half :: and although the question is all but answered :: there has still been no official investigation into the dubious circumstances surrounding […]

  • SaltyDroid vs. WikiLeaks

SaltyDroid vs. WikiLeaks

Julian Assange has RasputinEyes™ :: it’s not a fucking compliment.

Grigori Rasputin is famous for nothing. He was a mystic :: or a healer :: or a prophet :: or a monk :: blah blah bullshit […]

  • John Raygoza Scams Yo Momma

John Raygoza Scams Yo Momma

The John Raygoza horror story begins :: like so many grimm tales before it :: “Once upon a time” … or “Μια φορά κι έναν καιρό” as they say in Greece when they’re anachronistically speaking Greek.

Once […]

  • Syndicate Shit Storm

Syndicate Shit Storm

2010 started off with so much fake hope :: not to mention a beautiful wedding between two sick old pricks smelling of rot. Oh the memories … it’s costing me so much to have […]

  • Tony Robbins and The Syndicate

Tony Robbins and The Syndicate

Tony Robbins has been foisting his useless frauducts on our society for a quarter of a century. The uncredentialed :: uneducated :: unimaginable bastard pretends to be a “motivator” and “positive thinker” … but […]

  • The Internet Marketing Syndicate

The Internet Marketing Syndicate

The Syndicate.

That’s what they call themselves.  The Syndicate.  Like if they built a fucking tree house {which they probably did} :: then they used a wood burner to carve that name over the extra […]

  • Inside Dot Con Secrets

Inside Dot Con Secrets

Russell Brunson has had a rough life.  Growing up :: all he had was everything :: and you know how hard that can be. Okay maybe you don’t {loser!} :: but that’s your own […]