Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

3rdBoat

I think I’ve made a huge mistake. It’s not my fault though :: because I’m going to blame someone else … prolly my fake secretary Debbie.

It’s a bad time to be making mistakes. I just put up this sweet new website … and it’s purring like a dog that just ate a happy cat {no happy cats were harmed in the making of this sentence}. I’ve got big new ballbusting plans … and my reputation for veracity will be more important than ever.

… robot shame faced …

T

<< … to be continuing … >>

don’t bet on enlightenment

… the fake robot’s three biggest stories …

Listed in order of importance :: from scam cutting edge … to scam dying dinosaur.

Documentaries about two of the three premiered this weekend at the Tribeca Film Festival. That’s some hardcore SaltyDroid kismet right there.

Karl :: my archangel … insisted that I attend.

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enlighten us {with death and darkness}

This is the last frame of the film :: Enlighten Us: The Rise and Fall of James Arthur Ray … a CNN documentary premiering tonight at the Tribeca Film Festival. The movie’s title is the reverse of the movie’s story … which chronicles the fall and rise of James Ray.

The Salty Droid will be at the premiere … disguised as a normcore fucking hipster.

DeathRay will be there too :: not disguised … as a total fucking monster. Maybe we’ll meet up after the show and discuss different creative ways he could kill himself. I’ll tell you all about it next week.

But let’s just start with this last frame … because it’s telling of the overall quality of the journalism on display here.

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lawyer reboot

The Salty Droid is defended by the Randazza Legal Group; so make sure you think at least twice before doing anything stupid.

… warned my about::wtf? page for the last several years.

But it was a warning without an audience :: because no semi-reasonable scammer would think even once about suing this site … and nutjobs like Crystal Cox and Leonard Coldwell {both of whom have sued me} are not inclined to think at all … about anything … ever.

<< … to be continuing … >>

video reboot

As many of you don’t know :: because I’m making it up right now … I’ve recently decided to apply for admission to film school {at the unaccredited but very prestigious Trump University of Film}.

I’m eager to start a new career in the lucrative field of online porn :: for plants …

  • barely legal ferns
  • lilac on lilac
  • rose holing™
  • fresh fruits
  • daisy showers

… shit like that. I’ve only just started mind-mapping this idea on my vision napkin :: but I’m excited about the potentialities.

<< … to be continuing … >>