Internet Marketer :: and top Herbalife distributor :: Shawn Dahl … has a real thing for his mother-in-law {pictured above left}. Well :: maybe not her so much … as her scamtacular business ideas. Before Dahl met his mastermind mother-in-law :: his best scamming idea involved becoming a middling real estate agent in the Siberian province of Vancouver.
The money in real estate was good :: but the lifestyle was a grind. Or :: the money in real estate was no good … and Shawn and Nicole were living paycheck to paycheck. …

It’s finally happened :: I’ve been sued.
Was it …

The Homicder?
The Great Pyramid?
The Godfather?
The Giant?
The Gnome?
The Spider?
The Rick Calvert’s Tacos?

Nope :: it was Eliot Bernstein … who’s totally going to get a nickname as soon as I figure out who the fuck he is.
I mean here he is giving a “Presidential Campaign Speech” without his top or bottom teeth …

… so we have that :: but I’m not sure if it really clears anything up {or maybe it clears everything up?}.
Unfortunately for me :: it’s serious … trillions online on the …

Can YOU make career replacing money online?
If you’re asking yourself that question :: then the answer is most definitely … NO!
Fuck no!
Not even close.
Forget about it.
But can you make enough money online to help out with your bills … maybe take some of the pressure off your life?
Almost definitely not.
You can use the Internet to help you sell goods or services :: but as it was before the Internet … your success or failure will depend mostly on the quality/cost of your stuffs :: on your ability the attract the attention …

Is Herbalife a pyramid scheme?
It’s a good :: and fair … question to be asking if you find yourself enmeshed in a sticky stinky web of Herbalife’s outright fucking lies. Google gets asked the question so often :: that many unicorn distributors focus their marketing attention on phrases like “Herbalife Scam” … rather than on more positive phrases like “Herbalife Formula 1 Wild Berry™ FTW!”
But if you’re a journalist asking that question :: then you’re not a journalist … and don’t let society’s lazy labeling convince you otherwise.

“Is Herbalife a …

Utah’s new {but already fucking corrupt} Attorney General John Swallow is a “real conservative” :: not some fake ass conservative like Mitt Romney … or Hitler. “Real conservatives” make home-craft-sunset-word-art for Republican nominating conventions :: fake conservatives move to Berkeley and get AIDS … simple as that.
… or something.
It’s lucky for Mr. Swallow that he’s a “real conservative” :: because he’s certainly not a “real lawyer” … having had no real legal experience before becoming Utah’s chief legal officer. Unless you count losing elections and lobbying for the payday loan …

Funny story :: one of Utah’s largest boiler rooms … is located in New York City. That’s the end of the funny part of the story :: I hope you laughed your ass off … because the rest of it is fucking terrible.
The Tax Club :: Earning more than your trust
Or as the FTC :: and the New York and Florida Attorney Generals :: put it in their lawsuit last week …

“This scam has victimized thousands of individual consumers, many of whom are unemployed or elderly. Defendants have defrauded each victim …

Jeremy Johnson is totally innocent :: just kidding … he was going to accept a plea deal that had him only doing 10 years in prison rather than the 12,000 years he’d need to do in order for his time to be commensurate with his fucked up crimes.
But he’s innocent according to this little propaganda video he had made about his innocence …

… I’d tell a joke about it :: but I’m sure you’re already laughing.
The plea deal fell apart :: with Johnson wanting a list of people the government would agree …

Tomorrow Herbalife CEO Michael Johnson :: and his saggy band of morally culpable senior executives … are due to present their fake company’s response to Bill Ackman’s truth {and money} attack on their fucking obvious pyramid scheme.
Strange that it takes more than two weeks for the country’s highest paid CEO to come up with a decent {or not} defense to such a direct challenge on the legality of his business model :: but I guess he’s really busy coming up with neat new flavors for low-end shake mix … or something.
According to …

Fake robot :: year four … totally done already!
My goal for 2012 was to rid the world of evil … so that’s a fail.
But I did achieve some lesser objectives …
– I wrote a song about a manatee and some twinkies
– I made a hit movie for a maker of hit movies
– I hated a book
– I incited an uprising
– I pissed off some more lawyers
– I slapped a state in the face
 … shit like that.
Three of the most popular posts this year …
– Elevation Prohpets
– Frank Kern in Scamworld
– …

Herbalife is fucked … ask me how!
But seriously.
Don’t ask me how :: cause I was already going to tell you … keep your stupid questions to yourself.
-f-u-c-k-e-d-

Over the past three decades Los Angeles based {via the Cayman Islands} Herbalife has pretended to sell various products that pretended to promise to make you thin and pure or whatever … like a rainbow. The fake claims used to be bold enough to occasionally irritate the FDA into partial action :: but by now the product claims are more like … “comes in nine flavors …