Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

The Great White Nope

You are a white man without a college degree …

  • you’re too fast and too furious … six
  • your wife is Chipotle
  • you’ve never been to a Crate & Barrel
  • you own Fight Club on DVD and Blu Ray
  • your K/D ratio is always above one
  • you think your fantasy baseball team matters to other people

… and you don’t have to vote for Donald J. Trump.

>> bleep bloop

The Trump Diet

Donald J. Trump is not doing so well with lady voters :: maybe it’s because he’s a fucking pig … or maybe it’s because they just haven’t heard about his awesome #ladiesfirst diet?

It was called The Silhouette Solution.

Do you want a silhouette that Donald Trump would consider inappropriately ogling :: or do you want your current silhouette … which {let’s face it ladies} wouldn’t be his first choice?

<< … to be continuing … >>

Trumpface Loser

The big fat face that Donald J. Trump keeps beneath his combover … seems to be slowly melting into the area once occupied by his neck. Maybe his new neck face can grow a second mouth that will make him sound less of a goddamn dumbass?

This clowned-faced egomaniac :: full on scammer :: and proud member of Sarah Palin’s no-books club … lost the third presidential debate as badly as he’d lost the first two. But he did make some solid points along the way :: like …

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The Trump Twenty

Donald Trump is a mother-groping conman.

I should know … because slapping around big bully conmen is my jam.

I’ve grabbed a huge amount conmen by the pussy since 2009 … a really huge amount. And they just let me do it :: because I’ve never been wrong folks … never. Believe me! I’m tremendous at calling out conmen :: really tremendous … the best.

<< … to be continuing … >>

Herbalife - Death to America

The Federal Trade Commission has taken massive action against Herbalife.

#beastmode #lifestyle #jointheteam

Oh my sweet green jesus … I’m flabbergasted! I was sure they’d do nothing meaningful :: because …

a) Herbalife is too big and rich an opponent.
b) Because it would step on the toes of the SEC.
c) Because it would question the integrity of a stock market without integrity.
d) Because it would seem to be done in the service of some rich asshole.
e) Because there are 800 softer targets available.

But I was wrong … so wrong. The FTC’s complaint in this case is an epic slap down :: and the stipulated settlement … unprecedented and game changing.

Or as the media headlines screamed {while the stock price soared} …

The FTC has decided that Herbalife isn’t a pyramid scheme

hahaha! wtf?

<< … to be continuing … >>