Bad Robot

D-Bags S-U-C-K suck at snark. They can’t take it … and they are hopeless at dishing it. They can do mean … or cruel … but snark is impossible. That’s because genuinely funny humor is based on seeing TRUTH … and truth is the worst kind of poison to the Wide Area Con {WAC}©.

Beautiful insults are a form of art … and I hate to see slap-dash work. So in the spirit of charity and loving human kindness … I donate these insults to the D-Bags. Next time you are feeling like lashing out at The Droid … please use one of these professionally crafted bad boys instead of whatever STUPID SHIT you were planning.

Droiding the Droid

• Are you fucking that high horse :: Or do you just ride around on it?

• Kicked out of chess club for unorthodox openings {again}?

• No room left in the Officer Core of your local reenactors society? Let me guess :: It’s not “keepin it real” enough to go post-1879 …

• My guess is that your French Horn is in the shop? Couldn’t you just sit around and BLOW meekly?

• I suggest you go back to gold farming in Azeroth :: At least you were accomplishing something.

• You know what really IS hilarious smart ass?? Watching naive optimists bang their heads against brick walls until their eyes fill up with blood and they pass out on the floor. “Things are different now” … it’s ALWAYS the battle cry right before the fucking COMA.

• Jokes … just like second mistresses … USELESS.

• Robots … as original a metaphor as footprints on the fucking beach … but much less inspirational.

• Proper punctuation :: Try it!! ,

• You sound exactly like Eric Cartman … except NOT funny. Why don’t you just title each one of your little posts, “I hate you Kenny” … and not say another fucking word … it would be a HUGE improvement.

• If you think The Salty Droid should go away and never return … turn to page 65. If you want The Salty Droid to go FUCK HIMSELF … turn to page 34. If you’re pretty sure that NO ONE but The Salty Droid gives a shit about how this stupid adventure ends … turn to page 109.

Oh snap! { hangs head in shame}

>> bleep bloop