BullShit :: And You Can Too!
20 Jul 2009 :: by sd :: CommentsI understand what it’s like** to be new to “the industry.” I was once like you :: Poor and depressed :: Desperately searching for meaning. I used to struggle just to make ends meet :: living paycheck {to disability check} to paycheck. I was twenty-seven years old and I’d hit rock bottom :: Making $7.50 an hour turning boxes into flat pieces of cardboard for my Uncle Randy’s recycling company. I could barely afford to get drunk {correction :: tithe}.
But now EVERYTHING has changed for me. My life has been completely transformed by the amazing power of BullShit! That’s right {and you can too!} :: BullShit has allowed me to live a life I never thought possible.
A few years ago, if I needed garbage bags and cat food :: I would have to borrow my ex-wife’s Corolla and drive to Walmart. But now :: thanks to the power of BullShit :: I take this Super-Stretch-Escalade and go to Target! That’s right bitches :: Target. Whether it’s all night disco parties and super hip action :: Or just burritos and laser tag with the boys :: I’m arriving in a style that says, “I spend SICK amounts of MONEY just gettin there” :: And that probably means respect.
If you also want to live a life full of glamor, limos, and … and … and other stuff that rich type people have :: Then you need to leverage the power of BullShit in your own life. Imagine how your friends {and your snobbish older sister} will feel when you start having hot parties with beautiful people in the back of your own Escalade limo. I’m sure you CAN’T wait.
Well let’s get started TODAY! Let me be your personal guide to the magical world of BullShit. I can show you how to use BullShit to go from being a nobody :: To being a SOMEBODY {all caps!} :: In less time than it takes you to say, “I believe in Jack in the Beanstock!”
Introducing the info product that will absolutely change your life ::
Saying You Did When You Didn’t :: {A Super-Successful Entrepreneur’s Guide to BullShit}
The S.Y.D.W.Y.D. program has everything you need to start making money NOW! {including :: pdf’s, mp3’s, mp4’s, etc.} I could charge up to infinity for this product and you’d still be getting a good deal {it’s literally that good} … but then I’d price everyone out of the market for this life changing product. Fortunately for you, I’m an altruist and I just can’t let that happen :: So I’m making it available at the ridiculously low price of $3,200.
You’re thinking :: “Wow! That really is a low price for the satisfaction of ALL of my ill conceived dreams. But how do I know that you, a former box-breaker-downer, actually know and understand the secret of BullShit?”
Well, what if I told you that wasn’t actually my limo in the picture? And what if I told you that all of my talk {about hot parties and trips to Target} was just hype contrived for your benefit? That’s right! I made it ALL up … it’s all BullShit. The limo was stuck in traffic :: And digital cameras are cheap. But wait there’s more :: The program is complete BullShit too. It’s little more than me stammering into a mic for six tedious hours. But that’s not going to stop you from buying it :: And that’s the POWER of BullShit!
Act Now! I’ve already sold 5000 copies :: Only five more will be sold and then I’m taking this product off the market permanently {absolutely no exceptions} :: Leaving you hopeless and depressed for the rest of your life.
If you don’t buy my Bullshit now :: How can you possibly believe that other people will buy yours in the future?
>> bleep bloop
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