In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Colleen Marian Conaway :: a gentle and kind Midwestern Lady :: died on July 25th of this year. She plummeted over a third story railing at the Horton Plaza Shopping Mall in San Diego {link}. The case was treated as a suicide {link}.
Read a little bit about Colleen on the digital obituary and guest book signed by family :: friends :: and one person who was at the mall {link}.
Jumping a third story railing at an out of town mall :: landing almost directly on top of people waiting to get into the theater :: Really? Colleen Conaway, 46, from Park Rapids Minnesota? That is quite possibly the most punk rock suicide I’ve ever heard about. It’s ironic :: it’s poetic :: it’s super hardcore. I have 100% confidence in saying :: without any additional facts :: that’s not what happened.
100% Iron Clad :: it sounds good … but is it really? I have no fucking clue what cladding is :: but I’m sure you can do better than Iron. Wild guess :: Titanium. It’s stronger :: lighter :: and way more expensive {thus helping to support the vast military industrial complex that is bringing us all so much pleasure}.
If you go to James Arthur Ray’s Harmonic Wealth Weekend {now only $1200} and you’re not totally “thrilled with your decision” :: say because you watched some lady bleed out after James tried to demonstrate the power the Law of Attraction holds over chainsaws :: then you can just get a full refund … no big whoop.
Of course :: you’ll have to sit through every stupid fucking session … unlike people who are not planing to ask for a refund who are free to scamper off and commit adultery while you’re stuck listening to Ray’s assistant talk about the healing power of triangles. And make sure you “participate” :: turn that frown upside down Mister :: if you aren’t willing to participate in the 14th “Hugging Session” of the afternoon :: then how can you expect to have happiness in every single aspect of your life 100% of the time? No hassle though.
{pic :: Mr. Ray’s darkly evil eyes and the sweat lodge from 2007 :: both from his flickr}
I wanted to go to Yale :: my Mother thought Berkeley :: but my Father wisely insisted that I just skim the book The Secret … and then go see the movie. What else do you need? I mean they just told you the fucking secret … now go forth … prosper!
But sometimes just hearing The Secret once isn’t enough. Sometimes after hearing The Secret you still kinda feel like shit. It’s almost like … even though you know you know the secret … your partner is still not that attracted to you. It’s almost like you are still just mediocre at your mediocre job. It’s almost like you still completely suck.
StomperNet co-founder :: and former d-bag in charge :: Andy Jenkins is just dying to speak with The Droid. Maybe he’s not happy about some recent posts :: or maybe he’s just a big fan. I hear I’m HUGE in the “Insecure Narcissist” demographic.
I declined several “opportunities” for phone based girl-talk :: and an email conversation ensued. Here is that entire conversation {unless Andy decides to come back for more}. The Droid would not normally publish an email chain like this :: but Andy deserves it for reasons that you can read about later in my totally kickass tell all book.
Remember as you read that per Brad and Andy :: everything has been going just great and they are best buds. They could not possibly love each other any more without tongues getting involved :: and manziers declasping ::
Step into your roll as an expert :: Even if you didn’t make any money last year :: Because it’s all about perception. ~Maria Andros, The Video Marketing Queen {whose videos go unwatched}.
Calling yourself an expert when you are not one :: making claims about income, status, and success to support your claimed expert status :: and then charging people $3,000 per head for access to your non-expertise :: is fraud. But that doesn’t bother Maria Andros :: Because she’s way too stupid to understand how big of a risk she is taking :: And she’s learned to speak the manipulative language of the exploiter. Once you learn that trick :: it’s hard to go back behind the make-up counter.
