In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Hey look! The FTC made a video about bizop scams :: And it doesn’t totally suck. In fact, it’s actually pretty KickAss and informative. They even had the audacity to create a fully functioning embed link :: I’m shocked … and strangely pleased. Perhaps the Executive Branch has actually emerged from the DARK AGES.
Please take note that brave citizen admitting to being swindled for $25,000 was a police officer when he got hustled. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that people who are taken in by the hustler’s unrealistic claims “have it coming” for wanting the impossible to be true. But that is :: without a doubt :: supremely unfair. ConMen are professional exploiters of human weakness … if you are human … you are susceptible.
The Droid hears a rumor that Harlan Kilstein was paid a jaw dropping amount to write copy for Maria Andros. Perhaps part of the Platinum Not-Doctor Kilstein Copy Mentoring Mastermind Gold Package is a testimonial from the Dumpy ManBeast himself.
When we last checked in with Maria Andros {The Video Marketing Queen} she was like super stupid and stuff. Last week Maria launched her new “product” :: Surprise! :: It’s just like her old product … but now it’s older … which everyone knows actually makes it newer. Pay attention people! Sweet Jesus!
Maria’s forbidden association with Not-Doctor Kilstein continues unabated. She has been sending me lots of emails lately {you’d think she’d hate me :: but I guess she loves hilarious fucking robots}. Several of these works of staggering genius refer to Not-Doctor Doofstein as “The Ninja King of Copy.” As unapt a description as you’re ever likely to see. Unapt is an excellent overall description for Maria {bonus points for the fact that it’s not an actual word}.
I don’t really blame the scammers for filing false DMCA claims against me. It’s an exploit that almost always works, so why not use it? What are the chances that the crazy robot is a bored lawyer who is just itching to sue some idiot for exploiting the rules? 100% obviously. Oops. SaltyDroid v. Kilstein :: Could be a case, a comic book, or a wrestling match. It’s got it all!
Also getting off free from blame, YouTube. YouTube has the most reason to be touchy about copyright claims with billions of dollars worth of {waste of time} suits already piled up at the door. When a false claim is filed with YouTube the video comes right down, but you receive instant notification. The notification contains the name of person or company who filed the notice and points you toward clear instructions regarding counter notifications. Of course, the instructions are scary and contain words like “perjury” and “subpoena,” but that’s not YouTube’s fault.
The Internet moves at the speed of the Internet :: The law moves at the speed of Congress. The result of that juxtaposition is that the Internet is largely lawless and ungoverned, but littered with silly and ineffective rules that are helpful only to criminals, oppressive corporations, dictatorial governments, and others willing to exploit ambiguity and uncertainty to repressive effect.
The current state of copyright law in America is blatantly, and depressingly, repressive of free speech and expression.
