In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Andrés Iniesta marcó un gran gol al final de tiempo extra para …
entregar en quiebra España su primer título mundial {horah!}
guardar el torneo de la ignominia de una pena de cero a cero Shoot Out para decidir el título {agradecer a los dioses!}
Un gran torneo se merecía un final mejor :: pero a pesar de lo que algunos asesinos montado herpes podría decir: no siempre conseguimos lo que desean y merecen. Comienzo del torneo se destacaron …
Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein’s latest too dumb to be true frauduct :: BeachMillions! It works like this …
You never :: ever :: never :: ever go to the beach … just like Harlan.
You don’t make any money … just like Harlan.
It’s been over a year since my first post about Not-Doctor Shitstein. During that time he has become less and less popular :: even among life long assholes. His perverted shenanigans aren’t appreciated by ANYONE :: and the prospect of Law of Attracting my attention by promoting him has made him a virtual untouchable {obviously he’s been physically untouchable since at least the 70’s}. So complete is my glorious fucking victory that Kilsten has disclaimed himself and started writing in the third person. First person pronouns :: like trips to the mirror :: have become too painful …
Four teams left in the 2010 FIFA World Cup :: Four fucktards left in the 2010 Salty Droid World Cup.
“All the teams are trying their hardest so it’s too darn bad that not everyone can win” :: says some stupid lady. Shut the fuck up stupid lady! If everyone won :: then it wouldn’t be called winning :: and no one would want to do it! What fun would it be to win if you’d never lost? And as a follow up question :: is it fun to win? I wouldn’t know :: but it must be fucking great {simulated sobbing!}. Alas :: well there’s always next year. Oh wait :: no there isn’t :: next year will be just another year to spend mulling over this year’s humiliating losing.
The four non-losing teams :: the four always losing fucktards :: and four videos … because I know you losers hate reading …
James Arthur Ray must be putting all his attention and intention into visualizing scathingly negative primetime TV specials :: cause he’s Law of Attracted two full hour long specials about his shenanigans in the last month. If I were his life coach {for just infinite payments of $5,995 per month} I would advise him to go back to visualizing negligent “journalism” :: and Oprah. Maybe I’d even advise a vision board … because poster boards with magazine cut-outs aren’t just for 6th grade science projects and serial killers anymore {yes they are!! fuck sake …}.
ABC’s Primetime ran its long-in-the-works special June 29th …
Looking back at self-help in that mirror :: James Arthur Ray … cross eyed … teeth out … herpes … indebted … facing a triple homicide charge :: smirking and cackling about “having it all.”
Jennifer Horton says that she has a B.A. in Linguistics from UCSD :: so I’m sure she appreciates the cruel double entendre in the post title. Lascivious language levity :: one word wonk to another.
James Arthur Ray needs money like a corn fed cow needs antibiotics. He wanted to sell his body on Santa Monica Boulevard :: but he’s too old :: and gross :: and cross-eyed. Some pimp was like: “Mother fucker PLEASE!! Go sell insurance or something.” Good plan pimp :: but that requires a licence and BigDaddy James is currently on trial for a triple homicide. So back to Plan A :: ConMan.
James has a whole bevy of bullshit products that he can resell to the same people he’s been screwing over for years :: but it seems he is currently unable to handle his own billing. Masses of unanswered refund requests and debts falling into default must have rendered him too creepy for even the creepiest of merchant account companies. Enter the minion proxies …
