In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Perry Evil JowlsBelcher speaking at the Austin Internet Marketing {AIMEN} meeting on March 10th. It seems that neither Perry, nor his man-boobs, are happy with The Droid. I wonder if that is because I’m ruining his life? I think that’s probably why ::> but you never know.
Before / During / After :: The Droid started conversations on Twitter with anyone who mentioned being at the AIMEN event. Perry is standing up there sweating in his fat suit {or maybe that’s just his body} :: knowing that I’m talking to everyone in the audience.
Twitter keeps score :: Had you noticed? Something tells me that you had {something = constant fucking chirping about it}.
It’s fun keeping score :: Especially when no one loses. When your sorry ass shows up to Twitter three years into the game :: You need not feel like a chump because a bunch of other stupid hippies already have thousands of followers. Fuck that! You can just immediately start fixating on yourself {Your FAVORITE Thing}. Two followers is better than One. Boom! You declare your whole day a victory. 100 Followers :: Oh Snap! Three figures biaches :: The whole week is a WIN! You can celebrate by not feeling guilty when you break your self-imposed 8 Drink Maximum.
But this Game can be gamed :: And with splendid ease. See, other people {that’s the people that AREN’T you} are also keeping score. If you follow them, a great majority will follow you back. Once you’ve added a point to their score by following :: They aren’t going to let you take it back. If protecting their score means following an idiot, or a whole fucking bus full of idiots, then SO BE IT.
Friend of The Droid AimeesBlog assembled some interesting links about Mother-of-All MotherFuckers Bernie Madoff {here}, including a link to the archive of his past web sites. Interesting idea :: I wonder if there is an archive of the Evil Jowls medical fraud …
QUERY{in.random.PissPoor/French} –> Est-Selmedica dans les archives?
Recall that in Perry Belcher’s idiotically cheese-fest YouTube “confession,” he blows off the medical fraud incident as FDA/Government gotchaism {here}. That’s an easy lie to believe because the FDA sucks :: And government frequently proves itself utterly incompetent in all conceivable ways.
Michael Phillips is one resilient mother fucker!! He recently featured on an excellent, and Emmy Awarding episode, of Showtime’s This American Life {here}. Michael has a wicked-rude degenerative disease that steals precious pieces of his life, one at a time, like a malicious pimp. But every time life kicks Michael in the nuts {by stealing his ability to walk, move freely, breath without assistance, eat, talk, type}, he sticks a shiv back in its eye, becoming one more part CYBORG!!
The Droid was very excited to find that Cyborg Michael was on Twitter {WholeExpanse}. However, my processors are overloaded with RAGE that WholeExpanse has under 100 followers. That is fucking pathetic tweople! Micheal has over 1000 tweets, and is a genuinely interesting, and regular, contributor to Twitter :: This in spite of the fact that he’s forced by his Disease Pimp to compose each Tweet by painstakingly moving ONE THUMB.
