In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Anthony Powell didn’t meet Herbalife’s high {fake} ethical standards :: so after just a couple of decades of letting him do whatever the fuck … they pretended to promptly and politely part ways with his punkass. Fly away chubby bird :: run your gigantic lead gen scam in other murky waters … says them.
You’d think he might show a little respect :: a little gratitude to the NYSE traded scamworld company that gave him his start in scamworld :: yet here he is getting all puffy on a private plane … dissing the sacred Herbalife button.
The button that made over a billion unicorn dreams come true.
All you have to do to succeed :: is succeed at convincing others that they can succeed at succeeding … just by convincing others to succeed.
It’s that simple {of a mindfuck}.
Why aren’t you doing it?
Oh and also :: it will most likely tear your life apart … and ruin everything.
Confesstimonials™ are posts written by people {not pretending to be robots} who have firsthand experience with scamworld darkness :: and this one is about to begin …
It’s not fucking good to speculate :: best leave that to the empty heads at the cable news networks … cause it’s kinda their jam. But sometimes a fake robot has gotta speculate :: because certain sorts of stories are almost impossible to tell without resorting to this tried and true journalistic formula …
“So-and-so says that what’s-his-name is guilty of blah blah blah.”
… and those sorts of stories aren’t told here :: because so-and-so doesn’t want to end up on what’s-his-name’s shit list … and would never talk to the fake robot if s/he was worried about being quoted {or mentioned} on this crazy site.
If Donald Trump had to start over :: he’d find himself a good pyramid scheme … and get to work. Clawing his way up from the bottom of the bottom :: to the middle of the bottom … where bankruptcy lurks for all who spend significant time sucked into the MLM fraud vortex of doom. Natch :: his trophy wives would be long gone :: and no decent human woman could possibly take an interest in his puffy faced stupidity … so he’d have to settle for bowling league {participation} trophies instead.
It’s a recipe for suckcess :: or something :: and I guess it’s why Don Trump is on TV … while Bank of America is foreclosing on your house.
Not many families can functionally recover from a five-figure loss :: but Herbalife CEO Michael O. Johnson and his family certainly could … because he’s spent the last decade profiteering handsomely from hundreds of thousands of other {much poorer} families sustaining such losses.
Pictured above {and below} are just a tiny subset of those very real people :: with their very real losses … detailed as part of a 2005 class action settlement between Herbalife and 2600 of its unlucky victims. Anyone still under the ignorant misimpression that the Herbalife story is about billionaire hedge fund managers {_I’m talkin’ to you William Cohan} :: should spend a few hours reading that list of names out loud to themselves … until the stark reality of the situation starts to sink in and cause the proper level of outrage and existential crisis.
The lawsuit focused on a massive Herbalife lead generation scheme :: tastefully {and not at all fraudulently} titled … Newest Way to Wealth. Documented losses from NWTW/Herbalife victims coming forward to file claims in the case {a very small percentage of the total victims} :: greeted Johnson as he arrived on scene as Herbalife CEO … and totaled about $20 million.
