Network Marketing for Dummies



If Donald Trump had to start over :: he’d find himself a good pyramid scheme … and get to work. Clawing his way up from the bottom of the bottom :: to the middle of the bottom … where bankruptcy lurks for all who spend significant time sucked into the MLM fraud vortex of doom. Natch :: his trophy wives would be long gone :: and no decent human woman could possibly take an interest in his puffy faced stupidity … so he’d have to settle for bowling league {participation} trophies instead.

It’s a recipe for suckcess :: or something :: and I guess it’s why Don Trump is on TV … while Bank of America is foreclosing on your house.

If anyone would know about starting from scratch :: it’d be The Donald … because his family was stuffed full of scratch … and he never had to achieve a single goddamn thing on his own {total fucking lack of} merit.

In the mortal words of Captain Kirk and Joe Jackson {covering Pulp} …

You will never understand
How it feels to live your life
With no meaning or control
And with nowhere left to go

But still you’ll never get it right
Cause when you’re lyin’ in bed at night
Watching roaches climb the wall
If you call your dad … he could stop it all

{America’s new [old] slogan} Thanks Dad.

But back here in not talk-show-hypothetical-reality :: where someone has allegedly alleged that someone else has totally alleged … that Donald Trump may not be worth trillions … Mr. Trump is much more about positioning himself to profit from the misery of network marketing … than he is about actually working a networking marketing {slog} business … with no meaning or control.

Here’s the DickDean of Trump University semi-shouting about the everlasting glory of his Trump Network scamtacular …

“Opt out of the recession” :: and achieve the success you’ve always dreamed of … seriously … do it … you’re only poor cause you wanna be poor.

Owning an MLM scam is better than getting scammed by an MLM scam :: as Jessica Pressler of New York Magazine explained in … “If I Can’t Trust Donald Trump, Who Can I Trust?”

[N]etwork marketing can be a cash cow for those who own the companies, which tend to do well in bad economic times, when people are broke, desperate, and angry at the system. Even in good times, there’s not a lot of downside to owning one: The IRS doesn’t recognize marketers as employees, so you don’t have to pay them a salary or benefits. And owners can collect on even the worst sellers, who are usually required to purchase a minimum amount of products per month.


In the past, network-marketing companies have been targeted by the FTC for making claims about how much income a person can make, which is probably why the Donald is careful to point out the program won’t necessarily make you rich. “This is supposed to be a second income for people,” he says. “This is not about them quitting their job.”


Well :: maybe he’s not that careful … and dot dot dot … losing money is not what people mean when they say “second income” … so that disclaimer is no better than a spray on tan.


D-Trump is everywhere :: parasitizing a parasitic “reality” media culture that feeds almost exclusively on shallow celebrity … what those shallow celebrities are doing on the backend {says everyone to everyone} “ain’t my problem.”


Success doesn’t just happen :: it starts for those who finish what their daddies already started … and also with the pretending … get a TV show … damn the dream stealers … your mind can build castles … will that be cash or credit? ~SaltyDroid

The Trump Network :: like most things touched by Donald Trump … turned to shit and died.

Here’s commenter Nancy Travis :: in 2011 … on Ted Nuyten’s MLM fanboi “review” of Trump Network …

Thanks for the great review, Ted! This is my favorite MLM, with strong integrity in the leaders and products. I’ve been with the Trump Network since 2009.

And here she is a few months later …

Sorry to see this promising company going down in flames… Our first indication of trouble was when commission checks began to bounce for small amounts! The company explained it had simply changed banks. During the two years as Trump Network, there were signs of trouble and growing pains as the company poured money into huge expansion …

So what would Donald Trump do if he had to start all over :: after starting all over in networking marketing had already failed?

{without hesitation} Even more network marketing …

… this time with MLM old-timer ACN. Trump doesn’t want to be getting out of the fraudulent poor people exploiting biz op business :: right as Carl Icahn is just getting in on it … that wouldn’t be fair to the poor people.

Maybe if I had a billion dollars :: and a bunch of super smart people doing research for me … then I could do a Bill Ackman style mega presentation about how ACN is a pyramid scam. But I don’t :: and I don’t :: and Carl Icahn would just ignore me anyway … so I think I’ll just show you this picture of ACN’s super high tech front product … and let that suffice.


MLM landlines associated with greedy :: orange :: old men … are the fucking future … and only a dream stealing hater {or anyone with an iPhone} would tell you otherwise.

>> bleep bloop

28 thoughts on “Network Marketing for Dummies”

  1. Wikipedia’s entry on ACN stated that Canada investigated ACN and found that for a period of a year, they quadrupled their sales force… but their total sales remained relatively stagnant.

    That says a lot about the kind of entities Trump associate with. Doesn’t it?

    Oh, and his dress shirt line sucks too. :)

  2. Can somebody tell me about if mr. Trump said at 24″ on ACN video, “I’m excited to announce ACN International’s next ‘draining’ event?”…or was it him saying “‘training’ event?”

    Also, can’t we go onto admit that maybe mr. Trump has gone to see about the opportunity in NC, because I just found out about that “N.C. poverty is real, grim and deserves attention”

    “According to the 2010 U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, North Carolina’s poverty rate spiked to 17.5 percent, surpassing the official national poverty level of 15.2 percent, ranking North Carolina as the 12th highest poverty state in the nation. In North Carolina, more than 1.6 million children, elderly, disabled and low-income individuals are impacted by poverty. That equates to 1 in 5 women, 1 in 4 children, 1 in 4 African Americans, and 1 in 3 Latinos who don’t have access to adequate housing, health care, education, employment or resources to enjoy a decent living.”

    If Trump can’t fix up the NC poverty, then WHO can???

  3. When the statistics show conclusively and repeatedly that more than 99% of all people who get involved in Network marketing MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO MONEY, and the overwhelming majority LOSE MONEY, how can anyone even remotely suggest getting involved in ANY network marketing company is a good idea?

    It’s a fools game.

    Every time.



    Network Marketing is NEVER, EVER, EVER a good idea.

  4. So funny, I was just listening to “Lost in the
    Supermarket” (original Clash – not Ben Folds’ version though) just a few weeks ago.

    Fucking brilliant SD!

    Let me see if I’ve got this straight.

    So William Shatner’s good natured response to his works having been previously mocked by reviewers was to satirically vociferate Pulp/Cocker’s “Common People” – a lyrical vituperation on anti slumming/class tourism – on Shatner’s “Has Been” album, which was co-written, arranged and produced by Ben Folds.

    Much like Ben Folds good natured response
    to Korn’s mocking of his p***y piano style of rock resulted in the satirical Rockin’ The Suburbs ( Ben Folds Feat.William Shatner – Over The Hedge Version) – another lyrical tirade deriding Korn’s style of fake angry attitude filled, white, middle class faux-metal.

    I’m wondering if fragile egoist extraordinaire D. Trump will demonstrate as much civil graciousness towards your hysterical, low budget – one picture speaks a thousand mega slides – depiction of his latest frauduct and overall marketing stratagems – as did
    the other has been, puffy faced, scam promoter:

    Or perhaps they both still think its Their World: (&) We Just Live In It?

    To para-sing the first stanza of Ben’s Rockin’ The Suburbs : “Listen up” on Trumps hi-deaf technology and “Sham on”!

      1. @K. Chang,

        “Oh yeah!? That’s what you think”.

        It has to with Sarcastic Rabbits v. Overgrown Orange Monsters, Hare-Styles, Hare-Raising Awareness, Spider Goulash rewards, and ‘MLM’s ‘MLM’s everywhere and not a drop to drink.

        Silly Chang, trix are for kids.

  5. Don’t get me started on the American dream….

    Why are the disenfranchised and forgotten so desperate that they want to believe a bumbling, portly, clearly mentally challenged man wearing a wig?

    And what does it ultimately mean when Trump is unmasked as a fake?

    I think those at the top of all the pyramids would prefer you keep dreaming rather than wake up.

  6. Why does Donald look like he is just about to start sucking a dick in every frame where his mouth is open, and like he has just swallowed a really bad tasting cumshot in every frame where it is closed? Please don’t anyone take this as anything other than an observation, rather than my take on homosexuality, the taste of cum, dicksucking in general or anyhing else.

  7. Donald Trump.

    There’s something I don’t get here. Maybe Salty already talked about it and I missed it. If Trumpy is so rich, why does he spend so much time and effort f—-ing people over with “Network Marketing”?

    Maybe it’s not about the money. Maybe it’s about just knowing that you can hurt so many people and keep getting away with it.

    Maybe it’s like what fictional totalitarian ruler Wei Li Chun said when confronted my main character Chip in the climax of This Perfect Day

    “Chip!” Wei cried. “It’s yours! It’ll be yours some day! We both can live! Chip, listen to me,” he said, leaning forward, “there’s joy in having it, in controlling, in being the only one. That’s the absolute truth, Chip. You’ll see for yourself.
    There’s joy in having it.”

    [later on, talking about that moment, Chip says]
    “Everything else was rationalization. And self-deception.”

    I tried googling on the joy quote and, via someone’s comment about the book, came up with “The object of power is power.” which is apparently from George’s 1984. I read that book too, but that phrase didn’t stick in my head. For some reason, Wei’s version is much more memorable. Maybe because when it’s said out loud from first person P.O.V. it sounds so very human-ly honest (and pathetic, IMO)

    Ruler of the Whole World? So what? River still says “Sad little king of a sad little hill.”

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    1. @Wyrd,

      1). I’d have to look it up, but I believe SD might have intimated in a previous post that mayhaps Trumpy isn’t as rich as he professes to be. Although the mere mention (let alone the questioning) of his finances has gotten others sued in the past, so I wouldn’t want to erroneously espouse any sort of figures that might get the Trump Thought Police (part of the InterTrump) after any of us. Though I challenge them to find a fake robot and a fake dragon without a trail of WD-40 and Reese’s Pieces, but I digress. Besides, upkeeps and upsweeps cost my friend, and maintaining his lifestyle in the ‘pretty pretty princess’ manner to which he’s become accustomed is no small undertaking. I’m not quite sure whether spray on tans, trophy strumpets and Ch-ch-ch-chia! (the pottery that grows – ironically from terra cotta figurines) seed hair implants can be counted as legitimate tax write offs for illegitimate ventures.

      2). My question is actually about William Shatner and his feigned social media and supposed technological ignorance. I mean it’s obvious that he’s the Captain of Self Promotion as he attempts to capitalize on everything he’s ever done, but even at the expense of hob-noobing with notorious scammers (and a convicted felon) such as Perry Belcher and Ryan Deiss? His presentation at the Scamworld Conversion and Traffic Summit alongside said buddies was such a flagrant display of self serving merchandising. And his swift maneuvering as he turned an audience members question about the future impact of YouTube in the social media into a platform for advertising his latest brown bag wine tasting venture was as much appalling as it was deft. Is he really trying to convince everyone that he’s as doddering and unsavvy of a slitty eyed old puffster as he purports to be? I would venture to guess he’d probably BFF a Klingon at this point if it meant monetizing his brand.

  8. Funny how your portrayal of the MLM Dream sounds eerily akin to DNC talking points. Wonder where the MLM industry got the platform from?

    1. @HaroldOrKumar,

      Not really.

      As I have been fascinated to learn, look where the MLM capital of the world is: Utah. Predominantly mormon, and mormons (particularly the leadership) are predominantly republican. Why is it that Mormonism and MLM are so compatible? It goes beyond affinity fraud. They both use cult tactics; that is one notable example of the relationship between the two.

      Granted, Dems aren’t blameless, re MLM, either (And I see our own dear SD made a statement to this effect in the comment thread of the first article linked above…I quite agree with him).

      But I personally do see a stronger correlation (shall we say ideological correlation?) between certain major (individual and group) players in the GOP and MLM, that’s all.

      I mean, c’mon, The Donald, who we are discussing here, is clearly and belligerently Republican.

      1. @2+2=4, I didn’t mention governmental structure, rather I said “the message” was similar. MLM = live off of other people’s hard work = DNC.

        1. @HaroldOrKumar,

          Really? Show me where the DNC promises a future secure utopian existence? Where do they pressure poor people to pay them money? Where do they tell poor people that if they will just start paying their monthly membership and also recruit more people onto welfare (presumably welfare is what you are implying) then they will live an idyllic welfare lifestyle filled with…mansions, Lamborghinis, champagne, beautiful arm candy, whatever? Or, at least, where are they making welfare look so good and also asking the welfare people for regular payments? Where is the verbal, pictorial or print propoganda extolling the bliss of the welfare lifestyle?

          I am just not seeing much of a parallel between DNC and MLM, personally.

          I do see a striking parallel with (predominantly republican) Mormonism and MLM.

          The General Authorities of the CoJCoLDS do demand regular payment from their members…and without that 10%” pay to play”, there is definitely no Temple Recommend™ (aka your Golden Ticket into a mormon temple). Without a Temple Recommend™, there is no Temple Endowment™ (weird mormon initiation ceremony) or Temple Sealing™ (mormon wedding). Without a Temple Endowment™ and (preferably) Sealing™ there is no “Exaltation” in the “Celestial Kingdom”™:

          The third and highest level of the CK™….ah…That beautiful future secure utopian existence replete with multiple blond celestial wives for the fellas (so sorry ladies) endlessly procreating and producing endless celestial babies, all on your very own personal planet (customize as you see fit, you’re a god now!!!) for all eternity.

          You can bet they do talk up that Exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom™ …look it up on their website:

          Note in the link above the requirements for Exaltation™ section: you are gonna need that Temple Endowment™ and preferably Temple Sealing™ to get into the CK™…so, just to be clear, they accept cash, check or credit card on that mandatory tithing thingie.

          BTW, The popular mormon slogan for the Celestial Kingdom these days is:

          “Families are Forever”®

          (it’s plastered on picture frames and plaques and embroidered pillows all over their living rooms…well, some of them, anyway).
          Sounds so nice and wholesome huh? ♥♥Families are Forever❤♥

          Oh my heck. Unfortunately, it worries poor mormons into believing that the only way you are going to get to be with your family in heaven is if you are a good mormon and pay your tithing, now and forevermore amen.

          There are a few million mormons, a good large percentage of them do maintain their Temple Recommends with that 10% Pay to Play. There are a relatively few Mormon men at the top that collect the money and dispense it as they see fit, with absolutely no financial transparency (much like Herbalife’s lack of financial transparency). Tommy Monson, Prophet, Seer and Revelator® and these other (100% male) General Authorities of the CoJCoLDS let the underlings play Church (…just like Michael Johnson lets Herbalife distributors play Nutrition Club Independent Business Owner) so that some a facade of legitimate religious activity (Herbalife: business activity) is maintained, and the rest of us normal world people are fooled and keep our noses out of it.

          Only a very small smidgen of tithing goes back to members for their own Ward maintenance/bills/activities, from what I have been able to figure out. Very unlike normal world churches (but very much like any cult organization).The GAs families DO live a financially secure life, just like the people at the top of an MLM live a financially secure life. The mormon underlings? Tithe before you pay any of your other bills. Tithe first, even if you can’t make your rent. Tithe, because the mormon lard taketh care of those mormons who tithe. The General Authorities, besides taking care of themselves and their families and flying first class across the globe to visit their missionary salespeople/recruiters, use the $$ to build lotsa mormon temples (the temple is the Money Maker and Enforcer) and also the odd five billion dollar shopping mall and condo complex. The underlings? They get to play mormon church and have the promise of the idyllic utopian afterlife (though what the ladies see in the Eternal Sister Wives scenario certainly beats the hell out of me).

          If Trump’s Frauduct is Real Estate School and Johnson’s Frauduct is Nutrition Shakes, then CoJCoLDS’s Frauduct is “Families are Forever”™. They are making billions on it.

          Show me a similar story with the DNC.

          1. @HaroldOrKumar,

            To clarify further, what I am saying is that I find your comparison between alleged “messages” from MLM and DNC to be flimsy and superficial. There are more compelling, direct and interesting similarities in not only message but also structure and tactics between MLM and other organizations out there.

  9. ACN is the same as FHTM and every other front loading mlm pyramid scheme..

    $500 to get in and it get’s you nothing.

    Monthly Fee that get’s you nothing.

    GIN, Empower, FHTM, ACN, Magnetic Sponsering, YTB…

    More states need to go after these guys like they did with YTB

    Because the FTC won’t do a dam thing.

  10. It seems a lot of Donald Trumps activities these days are getting negative press. He is being sued for millions. Regarding Networking, granted a lot of people lose their butts, why is this?

    There are a lot of factors involved in this. I would venture to say though that people who get involved in Network Marketing and then quit with out making any money, most likely losing their investment were doomed from the start.

    Why do I say this? There are good companies with good products, with good compensation plans that work fine on paper. If you add the people to join, they would work the same as on paper. But most people will quit.. most people will not recruit. I would add this. .if people stay in a company, they either have to be making money, or they have to be using the product.

    So that is a problem right there.. most people really do not have an interest in the product. . as good as the product will be.

    However there are companies out there that have a product that people like and use and pay for in large quantities. If one can join a company where one could obtain that product and more at a reduced price than they would normally pay for it… well then you have a chance to succeed in Network Marketing.. get rich? .. well I would say you could make some decent money and still be able to use the products that you would normally pay more for at basically with no expense if you have members under you paying you.

    Donald Trump is under the gun right now. I wonder how he will fare with his law suits, reality shows, real estate ventures. It does not seem all that long ago he was bankrupt re-structuring his billions of dollars. Does he really have that much?

    1. @Kay Thomas Brown,

      Ummm….where to begin? Maybe you should start here:

      Keep reading, then, read some more. Follow the links to older articles that look interesting to you. Read, read, read and read.

      If at some point you need a change of pace from from the SD archive, maybe you should go out to the interwebz and search for the meaning of “blaming the victim” as it relates to cults and scams.

      1. @Kay Thomas Brown, Oh…just one more thing…in the video BELOW it tells NPN people to tell new recruits-marks to make sure to expect to struggle because it’s what happens.

        In the video ABOVE it tells new recruits-marks about success with minimal effort. Does it mean about that people should expect to struggle with minimal effort?

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