The Burton Family Affairs

Herbalife-Success-Inspiration-Burton

It’s clear how Michael Burton’s faux career at scam company Herbalife is going to end :: fucking disastrously … and with no possible excuses.

“But how did his career begin?” … asks a giraffe standing on a turtle.

Well :: inquisitive giraffe with extraordinary balance :: it began with used cars … in the style of our very own previously shat upon The Gnome.

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The Burton Affairs

Herbalife show piece :: and puffy-old-ass-white-guy :: Michael Burton … is … magnificently :: colossally :: stratospherically :: hyperbolic-adverbially … bankrupt. Bankrupt enough :: in fact … to be ten average American bankruptcies all by his gross muscly lonesome.

It’s impressive :: if you are capable of being impressed by horrible things … which I totally am.

Over the years :: Burton’s unsucceeding has been featured in many issues of Herbalife’s lame magazine …

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Herbalife’s Bankruptcy Business

Michael-Burton-Herbalife-Bankruptcy

“I LOVE HERBALIFE …”

… is what Herbalife President’s Team member Michael Burton said to me :: unconvincingly … this past fall when I was fake robotic questioning him about his various scum sucking.

“I will be sharing the great health results of the products with people and possibilities of how Herbalife can help as long as I am on this planet.”

Says he … sounding so serious.

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Donald Trump’s Rich Dad University

Donald-Trump-Robert-Kiyosaki-Backrubs

onald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki are like backrubbing besties … and stuff.

Two “Men” :: One “Message”

That message?

Give us ALL your fucking money {and all the money you can borrow} so we can keep pretending to be self-made millionaires.

It’s not a very good message. But the book doesn’t need to be good :: because like most such books …

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Syndicates on The Verge

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?

Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes article about the move …

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