In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Sometimes cornucopias come stuffed with all kinds of lame ass fruits and yams and shit :: and no one is very interested. The lame-a-tude of the cornucopia killed the still life as an art form :: a tragic fucking loss that we all still mourn. But cornucopias may well experience a renaissance if more people stuff them full of delicious insider info about disgusting pig scammers. I’ve just used cornucopia in four str8 sentences :: don’t like it? :: suck it!
The Droid has been smacking the crap out of StomperNet for a long while now :: A quick recap …
20 fucking 10 has officially arrived!! Three cheers for sequential numbering systems! Hip Hip … oh just forget it.
This nascent decade of our hopeful new millennium … has sucked some serious ass. Let’s just put it behind us … and move forward.
Step One in Operation Move Forward :: Pay your 2009 taxes to the blood sucking Man {so he can funnel it to the black hole banks} :: and then hide your ledger at the bottom of your storage closet so you can forget all about the year that people stopped buying.
The Salty Droid is happy to announce the recent nuptials of quantum physics expert James Arthur Ray :: and grumpy old man and mediocre clarinetist William Bill Harris.
What started as a mutual interest in conning nice folks out of their money :: quickly turned into a passionate love affair. The grass scented oils … the sweaty back hair … and the madness of tongue exploration … none shall be forgotten soon.
He loves lies and pretending to be God :: She loves spankings and being called Cleopatra. He took money from people who died in a Death Lodge :: She took money from people who died in a Death Lodge. He likes giving people herpes :: She sees sexual disease as a sign of virility.
And the sex … oh my god the sex … would be great if either was capable of a non-pharmaceutical erection. But they can still “squish tinies” :: as they like to call it :: and if they’re happy … I’m happy.
A lot of citizens say that Bill Harris {product of The Secret Turd Factory} looks like the classic stereotype of a sleazy used car salesman. He’s bald but still uses a blow dryer :: his fat fat puffiness has been concentrated by rage into rock like density :: his breath stinks of coffee and pig balls :: he looks older than he is … bedraggled … worn out from years of hustling old ladies into Chevy’s that died as soon as they left the lot. Okay :: fair enough. But he could also pass as an unsuccessful evangelical revivalist who has been forced to take a job stocking shelves at Wal-Mart after an incident with a 16 year old boy and a Honda Civic.
Used-Car Bill sells a big sack full of shit called Holosync :: James Arthur Ray made Holosync a “mandatory” part of many of his seminars {and took a huge piece of the profits I’m sure}. Holosync is all over the schedule of the Spiritual Warrior DeathLodge event. The frauduct fits a depressing pattern that should be sounding all too familiar to readers of The Droid. Unqualified twat holds himself out as an expert :: offers a $2000+ product that will change your useless life overnight :: product is specifically aimed at a vulnerable demographic :: manipulative and aggressive marketing :: circle jerk {probably antitrust violating} cross promotions with other self proclaimed “gurus” :: aggressive suppression of dissent.
