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Salty Droid

Toilet Paper Enlightenment

Not everyone hated Enlighten Us: The Rise and Fall of James Arthur Ray … but it did seem like pretty much everyone hated James Arthur Ray.

But by Mark Dice’s :: Twitter follower = value rule … isn’t toilet paper {with 76K followers} more valuable than almost everyone on Twitter?

And also … isn’t toilet paper more valuable than almost everyone on Twitter? Toilet paper has proven itself :: repeatedly … under the harshest of circumstances. The same cannot be said of tweets about #whatever.

Toilet paper is more valuable than the whole of Twitter … with all of its following followers. Americans buy $6 billion per year worth of ass wipe :: about triple the revenues generated by Twitter’s echo chamber of ass wipes … the market has spoken.

This toilet paper related digression has been been brought to you by Charmin. Charmin :: we survived the fucking Great Depression … how about you Twitter?

Particular people prefer its hospital purity.

… and now back to the tweets about Enlighten Us: The Rise and Fall of James Arthur Ray.

There are no victims according to CNN :: only heroes believing in something … and families who won’t stop whining about dead people.

And after he left them to die :: but before they were all done dying … James Ray went right back to selling/making big ticket seminar appearances.

I guess because he learned so much about the nature of the universe while fleeing the scene of a crime … he just had to share this new found wizdumb with the rest of the world {for $4k a head}.

Always remember to tweet about remembering your morning workout. #EnlightenUs #dbag

>> bleep bloop

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