Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs got all butthurt {cruel pun intended} about that time I embarrassed him in front of his big toothed boyfriend Tony Robbins?
Yeah :: too easy … those were the best of times. But such direct confrontations are a rarity … prolly because people are very intimidated by all the beeping. It’s too bad :: cause when the story tells …

It’s finally happened :: I’ve been sued.
Was it …

The Homicder?
The Great Pyramid?
The Godfather?
The Giant?
The Gnome?
The Spider?
The Rick Calvert’s Tacos?

Nope :: it was Eliot Bernstein … who’s totally going to get a nickname as soon as I figure out who the fuck he is.
I mean here he is giving a “Presidential Campaign Speech” without his top or bottom teeth …

… so we have that :: but I’m not sure if it really clears anything up {or maybe it clears everything up?}.
Unfortunately for me :: it’s serious … trillions online on the …

Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Leonard Coldwell :: board certified PHDoctor … has had enough of me. Last time I talked to him :: and he didn’t have the man-sack to talk back to me … I was calling him Barbara. He loved it :: in a sexual way … allegedly. But I guess it’s not fun to threaten someone who offers to die in the streets :: and let’s face it … bullies prefer ladies.
So Heir Klein :: prove to us that you’re innocent of the charges levied against you {by …

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into …”
… said some peeps from Crystal Cox’s past and present after I slapped her a couple times across her puffy dumb dumb face.
Whatevers :: says me :: you peeps got no idea what I’m already into … this one is nothing to me.
Crystal Cox’s freaknuts bullshit predates the Internet :: just ask anyone who has ever come within sniffing distance of her grandma pants. She’s mean :: and cruel … and in a surprise to no one who’s read a single …

Ed Dale has seen Frank Kern “go hard and go often — very off — much …” :: in a sexual way. He even has a t-shirt about it that got him a two minute standing ovation at the The Anthony’s …

… or something.
Many people :: like Bob Proctor :: have assumed {in their dark and disturbing sexual fantasies} that FrankKernSexTapeDotCom is Ed Dale and Frank Kern underachieving with each other {not in a gay way because Ed Dale is rumored to be an underdeveloped female … or possibly an overdeveloped …

Sometimes even elves are naughty :: like Caffeinated Elf Rachael Acklin getting involved in Crystal Cox’s Depressing-n-Grotesque Pornography™.
No :: thankfully … not that kind of naughty.
Tweets Rachael :: who I refuse to call Rhiannon …

Help me bring my little girl home, and get a website, logo, header, and coaching at half off.

An unorthodox reason to have a sale for sure :: but in fairness … Rachael’s IttyBiz has always been uterocentric. The Demented Elf tweetlinks to what might be the worst sales page ever …

Dearest darling, this email is a very …

Crystal Cox isn’t in the porno business :: allegedly/hopefully :: even though she clearly has a porno name. Crystal PornoName is an “investigative blogger” :: a title that only a very serious person would grant unto herself.
Crystal was sued by some mean lawyers for defaming some other mean lawyers and a Federal judge ruled that …

she wasn’t a journalist so shield and retraction laws don’t apply
she couldn’t Anti-SLAPP him
the mean lawyer wasn’t a public figure under NYT v. Sullivan or a limited public figure under Gertz
the matter :: a big …