Crystal Cox

The Marcus Evans Effect

Once upon a troubled time :: The Syndicate threatened to sue the fake robot in multiple jurisdictions {although not to my face … natch} … in order overwhelm my ability fight. I wish they would have :: because it would have made me instant famous … and my desire to fight is an infinite loop. But they didn’t … […]

The Crystallization Method

Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs got all butthurt {cruel pun intended} about that time I embarrassed him in front of his big toothed boyfriend Tony Robbins?
Yeah :: too easy … those were […]

The Trillion Dollar Trial of the Millennium

It’s finally happened :: I’ve been sued.

Was it …

The Homicder?
The Great Pyramid?
The Godfather?
The Giant?
The Gnome?
The Spider?
The Rick Calvert’s Tacos?

Nope :: it was Eliot Bernstein … who’s totally going to get a nickname as soon as I figure out who the fuck he is.

I mean here he is giving a “Presidential Campaign Speech” without his top or bottom teeth …

… […]

Fuck You Leonard Coldwell Motherfucker

Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Leonard Coldwell :: board certified PHDoctor … has had enough of me. Last time I talked to him :: and he didn’t have the man-sack to talk back to me … I was calling him Barbara. He loved it :: in a sexual way … allegedly. But I guess it’s not fun to threaten someone […]

Crystal Cox’s 5th Amendment Rights

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into …”

… said some peeps from Crystal Cox’s past and present after I slapped her a couple times across her puffy dumb dumb face.

Whatevers :: says me :: you peeps got no idea what I’m already into … this one is nothing to me.

Crystal Cox’s freaknuts bullshit predates the Internet :: […]

Ed Dale’s Frank Kern CoxPorn Challenge

Ed Dale has seen Frank Kern “go hard and go often — very off — much …” :: in a sexual way. He even has a t-shirt about it that got him a two minute standing ovation at the The Anthony’s …

… or something.

Many people :: like Bob Proctor :: have assumed {in their dark and disturbing sexual fantasies} that […]

Serenity Now

Sometimes even elves are naughty :: like Caffeinated Elf Rachael Acklin getting involved in Crystal Cox’s Depressing-n-Grotesque Pornography™.

No :: thankfully … not that kind of naughty.

Tweets Rachael :: who I refuse to call Rhiannon …

Help me bring my little girl home, and get a website, logo, header, and coaching at half off.

An unorthodox reason to have a sale for […]

Crystal Cox :: iS nOt a BLOgGER

Crystal Cox isn’t in the porno business :: allegedly/hopefully :: even though she clearly has a porno name. Crystal PornoName is an “investigative blogger” :: a title that only a very serious person would grant unto herself.

Crystal was sued by some mean lawyers for defaming some other mean lawyers and a Federal judge ruled that …

she wasn’t a journalist […]