CNN’s Suck Ruled Accidental
CNN blows fishy chunks!! Has CNN’s suck-a-tude ruined America? A non-commissioned panel of panelists issues a report saying maybe/probably :: more after the break!!
{begin break :: insert CNN sponsors}
Dow Chemicals :: you’ll love our yummy chemicals.
BP :: Green … Environment … Sustainable … Adorable Babies … and just a dash of burning stuff.
Lockheed Martin :: killing just got a little easier.
{end break}
The autopsy reports were released in the James Arthur Ray manslaughter case. You’ll never guess what they said. Do you want to guess? I’ll wait … waiting … still waiting … let’s go to commercial …
{another break … good times}
Cable :: You pay assloads in subscription fees :: we bombard you with advertising anyway.
{end break}
… if you guessed “they got cooked” … then you must have a fucking clue. The autopsy reports show that Liz :: James :: and Kirby all died of hyperthermia. It’s kinda not really news. If they had died of suffocation that would have been news. If they’d been poisoned … news. If they’d be exposed to dangerous levels of carbon monoxide … news. If their abdominal cavities had been used as a habitat for Pokemon shaped aliens … very interesting news. But they died from heat :: just a boring confirmation of a six month old assumption.
Yet in CNN’s infinite fucking wisdom … they chose to pass on this meatless piece of non-news with the extravagant ineptitude of this headline {which also ran on their news ticker} …
Sweat Lodge Deaths Ruled Accidental
Yep … totally accidental. Move along people … there is nothing to see here. You thought things were looking worse and worse the more we learned :: but you were wrong. That’s what you get for reading things!! Put away your crazy theories about psychopathic cult manipulation :: death fixations :: and long term patterns of foolishly aggressive risk taking. There’s been a “ruling” :: rules are rules :: don’t rock the boat. It was just an accident … so get over it.
CNN has a huge HardOn for stinking it up :: but that is some ghetto ass “journalism” even by their lamely low “standards.” So they changed it {after it was too late to matter natch!} :: and the headline now reads …
Medical examiner rules deaths accidental as sweat lodge guru faces charges
That’s slightly better :: but still mostly suck. Medical examiners use the word “accidental” to mean “not stabbed in the neck.” But real people in the real world {where CNN’s headlines happen to run} see “accidental” as an explanatory word. If something is an accident :: then just an “oops” will probably put you in the clear morally :: or maybe a “my bad” in a worst case scenario. There’s no “oops .. my bad” for cooking people to death in a $10,000 per head torture tent.
Here’s a little help for the mental giants who run CNN ::
– Heat stroke, hyperthermia caused sweat-lodge deaths ~ Arizona Republic
– Sedona Sweat Lodge Tragedy Autopsies Released; Heat Stroke and Organ Failure Were Culprits ~ Phoenix New Times Blogs
– Autopsy reports released in AZ sweat lodge deaths ~ The Associated Press
– Sweat lodge autopsies cite heatstroke, organ failure ~ Arizona Daily Star
Ta Da! Look how many different ways there were to be not-retarded about it. Each of those headlines has the advantage of not being laughably misleading {which I’m told is a huge plus in the news business}. But CNN doesn’t have time to worry about petty details like “getting things right.” They have crappy shows to produce :: and shareholders expectations to not-meet. They’re not going to let something trivial {like their direct involvement in the creation and promotion of James Arthur Ray} get in the way of their important mission to mediocre us all to death with their half-ass vapid sensationalism.
{begin break}
CNN :: We suck … ruinously.
{end break}
>> bleep bloop
-------------More fabulously hilarious writing ::
- Show Me Your Warrant “You are not going to die, you might think...
- Mistrial {or not} James Arthur Ray has no defense … literally. His...
- New Year’s Wedding The Salty Droid is happy to announce the recent...
- Long Trips to the Mall Colleen Conaway died at the Horton Plaza Mall on...
- Interview with the Shampire James Arthur Ray LOVES to do him some media...
:: read one now before you die of stupid.
If they could get James Earl Jones to do the line: “CNN: We suck, ruinously,” that would be awesome.
[Reply]
Did you photoshop Death Ray’s teeth? They look freakishly white. CNN does suck, I remember a time when they didn’t, which makes it all the more sad that they suck so bad now.
[Reply]
In all fairness, I should mention that Anderson Cooper has had segments on Death Ray at least twice since October. He and reporter Gary Tuchman have managed to convey the horror of the situation very well.
I hate to tar everyone with the same brush.
[Reply]
Anderson Cooper Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 3:31 pm
@Hippo, was I running around trying to look tough? I love it when I look tough.
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:08 pm
@Anderson Cooper,
I know you’re gay, but I’m still salivating.
[Reply]
hrm Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
@Hippo,
You trying to tell me Anderson Cooper loves the pooper?
WAT?!
[Reply]
Anderson Cooper-Scooper Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
@hrm, Anderson Cooper does. Nothing wrong with it. An open secret among NYC media.
Not an open secret: tight black shirts. Pecs. Running around looking tough, acting like I’m “getting the story…” when the real story is ME.
Hippo, Anderson can swing both ways. Or species, if you’re really a hippo. Cause some major financial debacle, I’ll show up with cameras, we can even make a tape.
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 10:16 pm
And if Anderson Cooper wasn’t already dreamy enough, he’s doing a week-long expose on the Church of $cientology starting Monday, March 29.
I hope he’s got a good bodyguard.
[Reply]
rox Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Ok if you are really Anderson cooper….. and you really are gay (which I looked up your wikipedia profile and it said you wanted family)… therefore you MUST talk to me about adoption ethics. Mmmmk? Meaning don’t adopt unless you research the ethics concerns of both international and domestic adoption!
Further more, hey if he doesn’t say he’s gay then we don’t really know Hippo… : )
[Reply]
rox Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
@rox, Oh my first thumbs down! Just because I pretended Cooper might actually read here, or because I was trying to give Hippo some hope for her fantasy life? Yeesh!
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
@rox,
I don’t know why I’m so crushed about him being gay.
It’s not like he’d be interested in someone so much older than he is, and a hippo to boot.
I got a thumbs down for telling Ross Jeffries that his mother should be ashamed of him. I still believe that. You can love your son and disapprove of his predatory, exploitative behavior–unless the parent has entitlement issues and is secretly pleased that her “superior” son is able to take advantage of others so easily.
I have children with behavior problems, and I do my best to love them without enabling them or making excuses for their bad behavior. If any of them did something really deplorable, I would not try to spin a horrible situation by claiming that I was proud of them.
WINNER!! ::
+7
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 27th, 2010 at 6:09 am
@rox,
Thumbs up, thumbs down.
Some of us get a big kick out of being unpopular. Some of us don’t take much notice and just do we want anyway.
Ross Jeffries does a nice little exercise where he takes his students out to get them used to rejection, salesmen soon learn the same thing or quit being salesmen.
Think of the tiga-fighting gladiators in the arena, their fate hung on the thumbs up or down from the Emperor, regardless of whether they killed the tiga or not. And often as not the Emperor took his cue from the mood of the crowd, not the individual performance of the gladiator.
[Reply]
rox Reply:
March 27th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
@stoic, Yeah I would make a terrible salesperson! And I’m not particular good at dating either. (shudder) In fact the idea sounds horrible to me. LOL. I spent a good portion of those highschool years sitting behind the gym by myself at lunch feeding the ants my doctor pepper and trying to discover the meaning of the universe by listening to “existential deep music” like Screeching Weasel (obviously a really profoundly intelligent group) and scribbling in my journal.
So sometimes it only takes a little nudge to remember what truly big dork I am. It’s all true, oh it’s all true! : )
stoic Reply:
March 29th, 2010 at 5:48 am
@rox,
I had a listen to Screeching Weasels, ‘Tightrope’ is not bad at all.
Just another in a long list of reasons why CNN trails Fox News.
[Reply]
Unicorn Army Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 10:08 am
@Dave, right, because Fox’s tool-of-the-man-itude is right out in the open, whereas CNN tries to hide it.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
@Dave ::
CNN does trail Fox :: in both ratings … and in destroying the fucking world.
[Reply]
yo, maybe since CNN gave James Ray a fortune in free publicity by promoting him on their shows like Larry King, they are trying to deflect damage to CNN’s image of trust to the general viewer.
since CNN gave Ray a platform, now that there are people dead, they don’t want that to tarnish CNN.
does CNN want their viewers to think that CNN promotes gurus that run seminars that can kill CNN viewers? that would show CNN does no research and just puts any dickhead and scammer on the air.
so since CNN was instrumental in making Ray popular, they are probably trying to minimize what happened in their main headline and news, to not damage the networks reputation any more than it already has.
CNN is not going to tell viewers to watch CNN so they can get conned, scammed injured and killed by CNN’s guests.
[Reply]
evpstud Reply:
March 28th, 2010 at 4:18 am
@spin, but that would be so stupid, they should publish about how he tricked everybody, including the press, and that he’s really a lying @$$hat
it would make the network look better to portray him as a deceiver that even got to them instead of ‘innocent’
[Reply]
Wow! Another “Dave”. Figure the odds. Bet his teeth are better than mine and he doesn’t wear his hair in an awesome mullet. Wait – he’s a Fox news fan? Maybe he does wear a mullet.
Anywayz – here is a sick link to the latest in Death Ray’s suckiness – courtesy of the Rumor Rat: http://bit.ly/ceHsIH
And if that doesn’t make you hurl, nothing on CNN will. I dunno, I guess I just miss Walter Cronkite, because ALL of the news on TV sucks nowadays.
WINNER!! ::
+10
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 1:19 pm
@Dave,
I saw that on Rumor Rat this morning. James Ray looks like shit. Not as shitty as the day he got out of prison, but still shitty. I can’t put my finger on it–maybe tanning issues, maybe drug issues, not sure.
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@Hippo,
Could it be desperation, a man who knows the gig is up and is desperately trying to pretend (even to himself) otherwise?
WINNER!! ::
+7
[Reply]
Seesaw Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 4:22 pm
@Hippo, Yes amazing and guess what COMMENTS ARE MODERATED! Just how ironic is that?
[Reply]
melissa Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 3:41 pm
@Dave,
The thing about the video is to check out the hand gestures JAR uses. Sociopaths use significantly more hand gestures than the rest of us (a fact I found out by reading the book on sociopaths that someone here recommended, then looked up the original paper by Sutker and Allain in J. Behavioral Assessment, 1983). He really does fit the mold.
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 4:11 pm
@melissa,
Those are all well-practised in front of a mirror. He’s reaching out to you and grasping, then bringing you to him in his closed fist.
If you want to see hand gestures, check out the Rev Dr Beckwith, he’s quite restrained in this one but the pissocity concept tickled me:
[Reply]
Seesaw Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:14 pm
@melissa, Not only him but several others mentioned on this blog also.
[Reply]
How’s this Salty?
“Autopsy reveals retard Ray cooked cash-cows”
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 1:23 pm
@George,
Excellent! Nice use of alliteration.
Much better than CNN’s original headline. The casual reader would assume that the Judge had dismissed all charges and that Ray was in the clear.
[Reply]
Jean D Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
@Hippo, Cheers to Bryan Neuman who got right on them for the error! And others who contact CNN,Props to you.
[Reply]
One more reason why sheeple need to be educated on how the media spins their news daily. Many people take it all at face value…failing to realize that what they hear is shaped by the minds that write it. Which more often than not, are very young, low paid idealists barely making ends meet.
AP really, really sucks, and they spoon feed their “stories” to a lot of understaffed media outlets. When you see the AP logo, your first response should be, “yeah, right.”
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
@Phil ::
And yet :: Felicia Fonceca’s AP articles about Ray have been the most factey … and full of actual reportering.
Same with CNN … the actual reportering of the producers and reporters is pretty good. But then their corporate mommies do their level best to destroy all its value for reasons oblivious to the public good.
[Reply]
I suspect it was simply incompetence on CNNs part, but who knows. Whatever the case, the effect certainly helped Ray’s publicity offensive.
[Reply]
rox Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Agreed. LAME!!!!
[Reply]
In that picture above, Ray looks like FrankenGuru – that custom made suit may have cost as much as my car, but the steroidal look just doesn’t work.
WINNER!! ::
+11
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 7:18 am
@rwr,
Luckily, Larry King steals the show in that photo with his awesome tie and suspenders.
And I see that our trusty Droid is keeping watch next to Larry’s microphone.
[Reply]
hrm Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
@rwr,
That was the most amusing thing about the whole Ray coverage – all of those frigging drugs he was taking.
Steroids on top of it.
This guys kidneys must look like shit.
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
@rwr ::
Your car must be shit.
[Reply]
I find the title of this article quite misleading. I still maintain that CNN’s suck is entirely intentional, and I can’t find any actual ruling to the contrary.
Just to underline how ridiculous the CNN headline was: when I first saw that on the ticker, I thought “Holy shit, did I completely miss the trial? Surely the Droid would have been talking about it. Maybe there’s a civil suit that I wasn’t following?” It never crossed my mind that it could refer to a ME’s report, because that would be silly.
Now imagine that I wasn’t following this issue closely – I would almost definitely assume that Death Ray was found not guilty.
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
@Brian,
I don’t think it was intentional, just stupid.
Whoever wrote it was being factually accurate without understanding that most people would infer exactly what you did. There’s a big difference between what the Medical Examiner calls an “accidental death” and what a jury calls an “accidental death.”
[Reply]
Brian Reply:
March 24th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
@Hippo,
Right, and then they were being inaccurate using the word “ruling” to describe the “finding” of the medical examiner, thus compounding the problem.
Here’s a link to the report:
http://www.azcentral.com/ic/pdf/0316sweat-lodge-autopsy-findings.pdf
[Reply]
The National Association of Medical Examiners “A Guide for Manner of Death Classification” First Edition 2002 Lists Manner of Death classifications as Natural,Accident,Suicide,Homicide,Undetermined (Or “Could not be Determined”)
Although many of us,including myself,believe Ray wanted or didn’t care if people died,homicide would not be the practical route for prosecutors to follow. They will focus,instead, on the “but-for” principle described in Paragraph G:”But-for the injury (or hostile environment), would the person have died when he/she did?
http://www.healthvermont.org/hc/death_certificate/documents/mannerofdeath.pdf
[Reply]
This was horrifically poor reporting on the part of CNN; I had been writing, waiting, & hoping that they would issue some form of apology to their readers (and to the & victims & their families, especially!!) about their error, but, alas, one never came. :-(
However, at the risk of receiving a slew of “thumbs-down” reactions, I just wanted to point out two things, on this topic, that indicate another big risk to the public:
(Though I am not in any way trying to downplay Ray’s actions, or the suffering of the victims — I just wanted to mention a separate, yet related, problem.)
First, as noted above, the media definitely misleads & manipulates us, on a daily basis. (There are some excellent videos about this on YouTube; just search under “subliminal messages” “advertising” “mind control” “Hollywood”, etc.) Obviously, this is detrimental to the thought processes of the viewers/readers of the media & news…
And, secondly, politicians — on BOTH sides — have used mind control techniques on Americans for quite some time. Most recently, Obama repeatedly used mental programming & cult indoctrination techniques (NLP, hypnosis, “triggers”, hand signals, music, and so on) on Americans throughout his run for office. (I am not taking any sort of political position, so please don’t get angry about that example — as I said, they’ve all done it…I’m just pointing out one instance of it. There are some interesting research papers & websites about this matter online, as well.) As we can see, by the results of Ray’s actions, this is very, VERY dangerous stuff – and, when used upon such a vast audience, the potential for danger is even that much greater.
And, if we’re all upset about how JAR, Scientologists & other “gurus” use these unethical & damaging techniques, shouldn’t we be upset about politicians – and those “in charge” & in the public eye – using them, too? …When this is something that also affects all of our minds & lives?
(Just wanted to throw that out there…)
CNN really should have been more responsible & intelligent in their actions, though; there’s no excuse for their “suckage” with this piece. :(
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 25th, 2010 at 8:53 am
@Politically Anti-JAR-istic,
Point taken about the manipulation.
I occasionally catch errors and mis-representations on my local news. If I were more well informed, I would probably catch a lot more.
The politicians, I can’t even stand to listen to. I assume they’re lying/spinning pretty much everything.
I think your post is excellent. James Ray’s behavior, however, is particularly egregious. But I am in no way excusing anyone else.
This is not a black/white situation, where James Ray is “bad” and someone who is less manipulative is “good.”
[Reply]
SD Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
@Politically Anti-JAR-istic ::
We are being massed up :: and then manipulated. It’s the whole history of everything. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could just stop.
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 27th, 2010 at 7:51 am
@SD,
We’re massed up then manipulated, but the change happens individually, one by one in the individual heads that make up that mass.
Easy enough for you, SD, robots have not yet evolved to have emotions and be ruled by them, or have they? Or was that Blade Runner?
Rutger Hauer has a lot to answer for.
[Reply]
stoic Reply:
March 27th, 2010 at 9:17 am
The best bit of Blade Runner, the full version:
[Reply]
We continue to post questions to, and tweet about, Death Ray,trying to make sense of his behavior. Why is he still tweeting and now posting videos?Maybe this(paraphrased,p.51)from Dr.Martha Stout,The Sociopath Next Door,holds some clues as to what is happening in that brain of his.
“…what sociopaths envy,and may seek to destroy as a part of the game,is usually something in the character structure of the person with conscience,and strong characters are often targeted by sociopaths…it is human beings who are targeted…Sociopaths want to play their games with other people…in sociopathy,there remains some innate identification with other human beings,a tie with the species itself. However,this thin inborn connection, which enables envy is one-dimensional and sterile… If all you had ever felt toward another person were the cold wish to ‘win’,how would you understand the meaning of love,of friendship,of caring? You would not understand. You would simply go on dominating, and denying,and feeling superior.”
[Reply]
Hippo Reply:
March 25th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
@Jean D,
That guess is as good as any. Trying to figure out Death Ray makes my head hurt.
[Reply]
I about choked on the cleaning tool my dental hygentist was using when I saw the obvious Cliff Notes journalism occuring on the ceiling TV 12ft. above my head. (not kidding) I used to be a CNN junkie; this cursory reporting is one reason I don’t waste my time & my hubby’s $ on CNN, etc.
[Reply]
Cassandra Yorgey has just put up extracts from Amayra Whatsername’s interview:
[Angel Valley employee] was there and [she], she was, she was almost losing it. She was totally upset. She says ‘Amayra, something is absolutely, totally wrong here.’ She says ‘I can’t hear this, I can’t handle this’. She was totally upset…
Det. Diskin: This is before they even came out?
Amayra: That is, that’s when we entered the 6th round
……..
“Det. Poling: His facial expression, what did it look like?
“Amayra: His face was like he didn’t care”
“Det. Poling: Was he happy? Was he sad?”
“Amayra: I can’t tell on this guy. He just looked like he didn’t care. Just like okay, they’ll get over it kind of like thing. But I, I cannot relate to that kind of an expression or that type
http://www.examiner.com/x-41818-Social-Change-Examiner~y2010m3d24-James-Ray-Death-Lodge-police-interview-Owner-of-Angel-Valley?#comments
[Reply]
[...] show helped to propel his Death Star. Worse still :: King’s executive producer Wendy Walker {pictured here} is rumored to be :: or have been :: a devotee of Ray and The Secret. So before Mr. Brian had [...]
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